The Legend of the Mermutt

Lads, pour me an ale, and I’ll sing ye a tale
Of a creature alluring that dwells in the deep
With a howl so charming it’s fairly alarming
One look in her eyes, and your soul’s hers to keep

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We spied her one morning, with nary a warning,
When she flopped on the deck with the rest of our catch
For such a dishonor, we thought we were goners,
But the sweet little dear just wanted to play fetch.

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It’s TK, via Casey Robbins.

We Put The “Up” in “Pup”

Are you looking for a once-in-a-lifetime experience for your four-legged friend? Why not treat her to a balloon ride from Puppyloon? Your pooch will fly above the treetops in our comfortable balloon harness. And when it’s time to come down, our expert marksman will pop the balloons one by one to assure a happy landing. Remember, that’s Puppyloon — For The Dog With A Bucket List.™

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Boston Terrier Up, via Morgan.

I Feel Polar, Oh So Polar…

Gracious me, but if I ain’t just the cutest little thang, with my fur coat and my daintly little pawsies and my coy Mona Lisa smile…

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ACTIVATE THE COY MONA LISA SMILE-HANCE-A-MATIC 3000!

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Via Michael Button.

Pizza Pie See You

Now, ordinarily, I’d just eat this pizza. Three bites, gone, nice to know ya. But there’s just something about this slice that… I just can’t. It’s got those big, soulful eyes, just like me. It would just feel… wrong.

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Via Reddit.

Ah, I Love the Smell of Fresh-Cooked Rice…

… that sweet, starchy aroma filling the kitchen air, anticipating that first moist, sticky bite hot from my bowl… which is amazing when you consider that the thing isn’t even plugged in.

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Via Imgur.

 

Now, as You Can See by This Next Chart…

… ferret one represents first quarter shipments of rotary knobule bippulators, ferret two represents population growth seasonally cross-averaged with toenail density, and ferret three represents the weight differential of three quarts of Miracle Whip on the surface of Mars. Any questions?

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Photo taken at the National Black-footed Ferret Conservation Center in northern Colorado, where the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service leads a captive breeding and recovery program where this endangered species is bred and preconditioned for release into the wild. Photo Credit: Ryan Moehring / USFWS

Percy Pibble, Canine Superstar!

After his sold-out appearance at the Meadowlands, Percy greets a herd of his adoring fans, who are udderly excited to meet him.

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Via Mermaid Melissa.

Did We Do a “Shut Down All Garbage Smashers on the Detention Level!” Joke Yet?

Wait, we did? Dang it.

Well, here it is again, this time with actual garbage.

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Via Reddit.

How to Give a Back Rub

For young children, offering a back rub can be a thoughtful way to help a parent unwind after a hard day. For best results, follow these steps:

  1. Make sure your parent wants a back rub at this time. (Especially important if your mom is Chancellor of Germany)
  2. Retract claws.
  3. Begin at the shoulder blades, making concentric circles, gradually working down the…
  4. Excuse me, did I stutter back there? RETRACT CLAWS!

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Via Rob Bixby.

A Ripping Good Yarn

When we last met Kwanza and puppy pal Honey, they had become best friends at Darling Downs Zoo in Pilton, Queensland. Looks like they’ve started a project together: building the world’s largest ball of yarn. How’s it going, kids?

FaveFrame™!

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Thanks to Adam of CoxCreatura.

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