Chapter Seven, in which House Atreides Must Negotiate with the Spacing Guild

Paul Atreides watched in fascination. He had heard of the Guild Navigators, their strange bodies mutated into kittens by consumption of the spice Catnip and suspended in containers of Catnip gas, but had never seen one until now. “You wish to fold space to Arrakis,” the creature said at last. “I trust you have prepared an offering of tuna.”

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Via Reddit.

This Week, on The Guiding Leash

Jessica Van Pooter, who survived a plunge through a plate glass window into a flaming mine shaft onto a cache of explosives and is basically just a brain in a jar clinging to life at this point, confronts her husband Reginald about his overdue library fees…

Furious that he did not inherit his father’s priceless collection of first edition Bazooka Joe comics, the scheming Kirk Banderspackle plots his revenge…

And meanwhile, Taffeta Pennyfeather shocks her twin sister Crinoline by revealing her secret affair with Brock Kittayne.

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Meanwhile, at ChewTronics Customer Support Call Center…

“… No, ma’am, its perfectly safe… Yes, the Bone-Eez 3010 model does emit a small amount of smoke, but that’s normal… Ma’am, do you see a solid green light on the front panel?… Well, have you tried burying it and digging it up again?”


Jenn M. explains: “This is Noveria… or Nova… or Novi… or Novahkin, sometimes “Dog,” whichever ;) I took this picture at work, Chisholm Creek Pet Resort. He decided to help me out today since my work mate called out sick and I manned the office solo.”

The C.O. Guide to Alien Religions

Due to items carelessly left behind by interstellar researchers, the highly impressionable Craycray people of the planet Oopsidas-E developed a cult that worshipped office supplies.

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Via Reddit.

Forgotten Tourist Traps of Florida, Part 3

A staple of family driving trips during the 60’s and 70’s, Lake Wiki-Waki-Whatda delighted audiences with its “Orangu-Mermaid Spectacular” water ballet.

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Via Reddit.

Let Me See the Red Pumps Again

(sigh) None of these styles are working for me at all. What I’m really looking for is a pair of size 7 maroon slingbacks with neon pink trim, plaid tassels, and little brass buckles in the shape of Susan B. Anthony dollar coins. Are you sure you don’t have that in the back?

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Via BoredPanda.

Why Puppies Are Better Than Babies

  1. You don’t have to play the “here comes the choo-choo” game at mealtimes.
  2. There’s no need to have your house “puppy-proofed” — when a puppy bonks her head, she just keeps playing.
  3. A puppy will never grow up to be a mad bomber, deranged chainsaw killer, or hedge fund manager.
  4. No three o’clock feedings!

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Redditor ahhhgodzilla says: ” My foster dog has ME (mega esaphogus) so he has to eat in this chair. He doesn’t seem to mind!”

Tea for Two (Hours)

Dame Lucretia Crump-Pinnet never rushed through her classic high tea, insisting that everything be done at a slow, regal pace. This was evident even in her choice of tea cozy:

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Via Knitting Is Awesome.

The Fuzzy Little Caterpillar*

This cheerful caterpillar* is a blurry sight to see
Presented through the miracle of pin-point photography.
And though her torso’s tentative, she really doesn’t mind,
She’s clear on where she’s headed, fuzzy on what’s left behind.

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Via photochem_PA. *UPDATE: Actually not a caterpillar. Scroll down for a helpful explanation from Daniel.

Winging in the Rain

Maynard had seen his favorite movie musical so many times that he broke out into a song-and-dance number whenever the sprinkler came on.

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