Why Ducks Don’t Do Yoga

“For a start, it’s hard to contemplate your navel when you haven’t got one.”

Via Piper Gu on Flickr.

Moral: Never Mess with Mom

(Oh, this is prank going to be epic! Mom totally can’t see me, so I’ll just sneak up behind her really slow, and then when she least expects it, I’ll pinch her on the OW OW OW OW OK I’M SORRY LEGGO MY NOSE!)

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Via Maren Vollman.

The Floof of the Month Club

Looking for a unique gift idea? Enroll that special someone in the Floof of the Month Club! Every month, your loved one will get a box full of top-quality floof, in our patented self-packing carton. Order today!

All Along the Watchtower

All along the watchtower, bite marks did appear
But who or what did put them there, we’ll never know, we fear
Outside in the cold distance, a puppeh’s tummy did growl
Suppertime was approaching, and the pup began to howl

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Via Canine to Five.

Take Me to Mercy General Stuffed Animal Hospital, Driver!

… and step on it! (Oh, I just hope the doctors can repair the bite marks in my beloved Flopsy!)

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Via Reddit.

Secret Super Santa Spotter Spies Sideways

(There he is! Santa Claus, right there in person! And he’s every bit as magical as I thought he’d be — Look! He can even walk on walls!)

Via Reddit.

Hatch Your Very Own Goat!

From the people who brought you the amazing Sea-Monkeys,™ here come Goatlings,™ real baby goats that hatch in seconds! Here’s how they work:

  1. When your very own Goatling arrives, shake it to release the patented Snowflake Life Crystals.
  2. Wait ten minutes.
  3. Wait ten more minutes.
  4. Realize you got suckered into buying a snow globe.
  5. Put on shelf, feel stupid.

Posted to our Facebook page by Gretchen!

A Tense Moment

With focused determination, Hector stared down the mysterious stranger, his gaze barely lifting from the round yellow object of his heart’s desire. A minute passed. Then another. And another. The interloper scarcely moved as it jealously guarded its prize, but Hector remained resolute. His moment would come. Oh yes…it would come.

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Readers who have enjoyed this passage may also enjoy A Minute Passed.

I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe

Roast beef on fire next to the pork shoulder on our iron skillet… I’ve watched tin foil glitter in the microwave next to the Anheuser beer. All those moments will be lost in time… like drippings in gravy…

Via Reddit.

Live from the “Digging to China” Semifinals!

… and, as we enter the forty-third hour, it looks like Goldie “Shovelpaws” McBlavin is still having trouble getting started…

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