The Straight Story

Strapped into the cramped cockpit, the drag racer awaits his moment. Behind him: a nitromethane-fueled monster. Before him: the most important quarter mile he will ever know. He grips the wheel until it becomes a part of him, an extension of his mind, man and machine aimed with pinpoint precision down a straight line to glory. Even a slight bending of that line, the faintest variance left or right, could cost him victory — or even his life. The countdown begins: first red, then yellow, then green, and…


“The morning dew perfectly captured my dog’s erratic freedom run,” says Redditor Babolattack.

Behold, the Mighty Triceratops

A gentle giant in an age of monsters, the Triceratops roamed the earth during the Late Cute-acious period. Although a peaceful plant-eater, Triceratops could be a fearsome adversary, thanks to its tough protective skull and its three lethal horns, which brought instant death to all who angered it… starting with the guy who glued them on in the first place.


“My dog has clearly had enough of my crap,” admits Redditor BIGMc_LARGEHUGE.

The Moment of Truth

This was it, Henrietta thought. A fight to the death. It’s either him or me. Survival of the fittest. Two hens enter, one hen leaves. If I back down now, everyone at the henhouse will call me… dog.


Via Reddit.

Strong Am I With the Floof

A Jedi’s strength flows from the Floof. You must feel the Floof around you, between you, me, the tree, the rock, the carpeting (especially the carpeting)…


“George caught using the Force,” via Redditor Egzo.

Will it Go ‘Round in Circles?

If I could turn back time, I’d get back off this spinning wheel, right back where we started from. But there’s no lookin’ back; it’s too late to turn back now. I can’t return to sender ’cause that’s the point of no return!


Missed Connections

Me: Northbound “L” train Thursday evening, trying to work on laptop. You: Two seats ahead, staring at me in distracting way. I moved to different compartment, you followed and kept staring. Changed trains twice, you still there staring. Would sincerely like to meet you, will be in front of Museo Regional de Magallanes, Punta Arenas, Chile, this Saturday afternoon. PS I may be delayed so keep waiting.


“Girl on this train was givin’ me eyes the whole ride,” says Redditor ShinglersLisp.

Time to Make the Hedgehogs!

Here’s a fast and easy hedgehog recipe you can make at home:

4 cups thumb tacks or push pins
1 cup cactus juice
6 ounces grated cheddar cheese, extra sharp

Combine ingredients in bowl, spoon into muffin tin. Let set until nosicles are moist. Serves six.


Via Awwww! Cute!


All right, let’s make something clear: Out of all the shelter kitties, you chose me. And although I may bring certain, shall we say, baggage to the table, I expect nothing less than prompt attention to my needs: Meals on time, regular treats, a broad assortment of squeaky toys, and furniture I may claw at will. Now, do we understand one another…


… or will you force me to unleash… HAROLD?


“Our cat wasn’t too fond of our foster kitten but he loved the box she came in!” says Redditor DontPokeThatPlease.

Tell Them I’ll Call Back!

“(Sheesh, it never fails. I’ve got my duckie, I put on my favorite CD of ambient wind chimes and waterfalls, I get all comfy in the tub — and that’s when the phone rings.)”


“Max is having a spa day. I just received this from the vet,” says Redditor In4theKill.


If you’ll be watching the latest Avengers movie, be sure to stick around for the customary post-credits scene, in which Captain America and Hawkeye console a confused Bruce Banner, whose latest experiment to control his rampaging Hulk tendencies only leads to even stranger results.


Via Cute Emergency.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,914 other followers