Your Steak Wants Dog

“Uh, look, Elsie… you’re a sweet kid and all, but you’re coming on a little strong for me, so I’ll just — Whoa! Did you feel that? Did somebody just let a snake in here?!”

Dumbo II: The Magic Peanut

In the long-awaited sequel to the Disney classic, Timothy Mouse’s cousin Ignatz Sqerl attempts to convince Dumbo he can scuba dive, only to thwart his own plans when he gets a case of the munchies.

Trouble Assembling Your New Cat?

If you got a cat this Christmas, but can’t seem to put it together properly, call our toll-free Cat Resource Assembly Service Hotline at 1-800-CRASH-ED.

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Via Reddit.

One More and We Can Make a Snowman!

All we need now is, like, one of those tiny-head dogs, a Chihuahua or something…

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Catherine C. says: “Took this cute pic of Tigger (bottom) and Sparky Bobo (top). They were beggin’ for our dinner.”

Well, I Got My Christmas Wish

Mmmnnn, yesssss. And when you boys are done here, one of you can mix me an appletini before I go in for my pedicure.

That’s Far Enough, Kid

How many times I gotta tell you, don’t talk to strange camera operators!

“I just thought the peeps of CO would love to see this mama wolf with her kitten,” writes Ginette C.

Up Next: The Chaseable Mouse

Limited screen space on laptop computers is a perennial problem, but researchers may have a breakthrough: the Holographic Auxiliary (HOAX) display system.

Now we can watch full-length movies, DxDutch!

Christmas Delivery Still Available!

Order from KristmasKitties.com now and select “I’m an idiot who didn’t plan ahead so please tack on shipping charges three times the amount of my order” for guaranteed Christmas delivery!

Kitty Cosmetic Surgery

“And now, we simply pull the skin back like so, and… Oh, madam! You are a goddess, a radiant vision of youth! This procedure will take years off your face!”

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Via the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee.

Oh Bomb All Ye Faithful

Deck the floor with presents dandy,
Pho-pho-pho-pho-pho, pho-pho-to-bomb!
Carolers cute and crammed with candy,
Pho-pho-pho-pho-pho, pho-pho-to-bomb!
Sing we now to fair remind us,
Pho-pho-pho, pho-pho-pho, pho-to-bomb!
Laser Kitty’s right behind us
Pho-pho-pho-pho-pho, pho-pho-to-bomb!

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It’s “Tina, not happy among the presents,” says Sonia B.