Atty, No!

How many times do I have to tell you not to knock over the garbage? And stop digging in that nice Mr. Kenobi’s garden! And for Pete’s sake, stop vaporizing the mailman!

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Via Daily Pics and Flicks.

If You Only Had a Heart

How I wish that you, my owner,
Would not be such a loner,
Too bored to do your part (loo-doot-dee-doodly-doot)
If you were, you’d stop gawking
And get up and take me walking
If you only had a heart

So put down the game controller
Before I get much older
Get dressed and let’s depart (loo-doot-dee-doodly-doot)
Oh, your feet you’d be shifting
And my leg I could be lifting
If you only had a heart

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It’s Milo!

Hey-Yup! Double Time!

Atten-SHUN! Now listen up, private, and listen good! When I say you’re going on a march with full pack, I mean today, not next week! So cut the dawdling and get moving! What are you, a snail or something?

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Via Reddit.

The Danger Chicks!

Coming this Fall to NBC! They may look fluffy, but these hard-boiled hens-to-be know how to lay down the law! They’ll crack the case, and maybe a few skulls — because you can’t make an omelet without breaking all the rules! Shirley Farble and Mimsy Biffington areThe Danger Chicks!

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Kaitlyn H. is clucking with pride: “These are chicks that I hatched out myself, and were photographed by me :). Feel free to take a peek and let me know what you think!”

Your Steak Wants Dog

“Uh, look, Elsie… you’re a sweet kid and all, but you’re coming on a little strong for me, so I’ll just — Whoa! Did you feel that? Did somebody just let a snake in here?!”

Dumbo II: The Magic Peanut

In the long-awaited sequel to the Disney classic, Timothy Mouse’s cousin Ignatz Sqerl attempts to convince Dumbo he can scuba dive, only to thwart his own plans when he gets a case of the munchies.

Trouble Assembling Your New Cat?

If you got a cat this Christmas, but can’t seem to put it together properly, call our toll-free Cat Resource Assembly Service Hotline at 1-800-CRASH-ED.

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Via Reddit.

One More and We Can Make a Snowman!

All we need now is, like, one of those tiny-head dogs, a Chihuahua or something…

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Catherine C. says: “Took this cute pic of Tigger (bottom) and Sparky Bobo (top). They were beggin’ for our dinner.”

Well, I Got My Christmas Wish

Mmmnnn, yesssss. And when you boys are done here, one of you can mix me an appletini before I go in for my pedicure.

That’s Far Enough, Kid

How many times I gotta tell you, don’t talk to strange camera operators!

“I just thought the peeps of CO would love to see this mama wolf with her kitten,” writes Ginette C.