Cat GPS

“In fifty yards, turn right. At the traffic circle, drive around eighteen times. In 100 yards, stare at the ground for at least five minutes, then lick yourself. At the next light, turn left and chase your own tailpipe. You have reached your destination, or a fish market, whichever comes first…”

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Jess B. from San Francisco writes: “Hi there, Love love LOVE your site!! I’m a first-time contributor, so is my cat (as far as I know). Attached is a picture of Truman, riding shotgun at age 0.5 years. He’s three now and a chunky monkey. Hope you post us, thnx!!”

A Tearful Confession

“All right, I admit it — I’m a… a boxhead. For years I kept it from you, where I would go late at night, I was with my fellow boxheads, the one place where I could truly be myself. You don’t know what it feels like, day after day, to see boxes everywhere and know that they want you, need you. Well, I’m not going to live this lie any longer! I’m a boxhead and I’m proud!

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“I hear my cat crying in the bathroom, walking in, I see this,” says Redditor something_something1.

Cat Rituals

Oh, most holy Ikea artificial candle, bathe my furry essence in your supernatural luminance, in order that I may gain the sight beyond sight — the ability to see beings from other dimensions after staring at the same spot on the wall for ten minutes.

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Spotted at a cat cafe in Japan by Flicker-er Sousui.

Tales of the Lonesome Prairie

(Under the burning Oklahoma sun, the stoic cowboy searches the horizon. His steely eye finds its target: a stray. Leaping from his sprinting steed, the cowpoke lands squarely on the dogie’s back, but the beast refuses to surrender, frantically pitching and rocking to free itself from…)

(I said, “frantically pitching and rocking”… Hello?)

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“She saw the kids playing on it and now she meows until you rock her,” says Redditor rc1honda.

Spy vs. Spy

You think you’re so civilized, you people with your rules, your codes of honor. Well, in my world, down on the kitchen floor where life really happens, there’s only one rule — bat or be batted. The enemy is everywhere — and nowhere. Any step I take could be my last.

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We Have a Security Breach!

Looks like some creep tried to hide a video camera in our yoga studio! Well, we’ll see about that!

Well, There Goes the Endorsement Deal

… and as the swimmers approach the starting block, we can see Harold Flanderblort, the favorite in this race. Flanderblort, top medalist in the summer games, considered by many to be one of the finest amateur dogpaddlers… And there’s the starter’s pistol… aaaaaannnnd…

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Wow, That Is Really Interesting

You don’t say? Wow, I never knew that. My stars, but you sure know a lot about interesting things! Do go on, this is fascinating! No, really — I could listen to you for hours.

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Is Your Den Protected?

You’ve got the perfect home — loving mate, adorable pups — but what would you do if disaster struck? Would you be ready? That’s why you need den-owners insurance from Allstate, the Good Paws People™. With just one howl to Allstate, you’re covered. Call today!

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You Say To-may-duck, I Say To-mah-duck

However you say it, it’s the most important ingredient in tomaduck soup!

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Via Reddit.

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