I’ve Lost My Marbles!

No, of course I know where they are — they’re right here in this bag! Where I can’t get at them! Which is why I’ve lost my marbles!

Where To, Doc?

You need taxi service to the airport? Sure, doc, that’s just a hop, skip and a jump from here! So hop, skip, and jump in already!

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Via The Internets Animals.

Some Teapots Whistle, This One Howls

“I’ve been in this pot oolong! Be a nice chai and get me out before I cough up a herbal!”


Via BoredPanda.

It’s Mine! MINE!

Get your own hypnosynthetic stereophrenic magical pleasure orb!

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Chapter Seven, in which House Atreides Must Negotiate with the Spacing Guild

Paul Atreides watched in fascination. He had heard of the Guild Navigators, their strange bodies mutated into kittens by consumption of the spice Catnip and suspended in containers of Catnip gas, but had never seen one until now. “You wish to fold space to Arrakis,” the creature said at last. “I trust you have prepared an offering of tuna.”

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Via Reddit.

This Week, on The Guiding Leash

Jessica Van Pooter, who survived a plunge through a plate glass window into a flaming mine shaft onto a cache of explosives and is basically just a brain in a jar clinging to life at this point, confronts her husband Reginald about his overdue library fees…

Furious that he did not inherit his father’s priceless collection of first edition Bazooka Joe comics, the scheming Kirk Banderspackle plots his revenge…

And meanwhile, Taffeta Pennyfeather shocks her twin sister Crinoline by revealing her secret affair with Brock Kittayne.

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Meanwhile, at ChewTronics Customer Support Call Center…

“… No, ma’am, its perfectly safe… Yes, the Bone-Eez 3010 model does emit a small amount of smoke, but that’s normal… Ma’am, do you see a solid green light on the front panel?… Well, have you tried burying it and digging it up again?”


Jenn M. explains: “This is Noveria… or Nova… or Novi… or Novahkin, sometimes “Dog,” whichever ;) I took this picture at work, Chisholm Creek Pet Resort. He decided to help me out today since my work mate called out sick and I manned the office solo.”

The C.O. Guide to Alien Religions

Due to items carelessly left behind by interstellar researchers, the highly impressionable Craycray people of the planet Oopsidas-E developed a cult that worshipped office supplies.

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Via Reddit.

Forgotten Tourist Traps of Florida, Part 3

A staple of family driving trips during the 60’s and 70’s, Lake Wiki-Waki-Whatda delighted audiences with its “Orangu-Mermaid Spectacular” water ballet.

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Via Reddit.

Let Me See the Red Pumps Again

(sigh) None of these styles are working for me at all. What I’m really looking for is a pair of size 7 maroon slingbacks with neon pink trim, plaid tassels, and little brass buckles in the shape of Susan B. Anthony dollar coins. Are you sure you don’t have that in the back?

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Via BoredPanda.