Did We Do a “Shut Down All Garbage Smashers on the Detention Level!” Joke Yet?

Wait, we did? Dang it.

Well, here it is again, this time with actual garbage.

ESaSyRs

Via Reddit.

How to Give a Back Rub

For young children, offering a back rub can be a thoughtful way to help a parent unwind after a hard day. For best results, follow these steps:

  1. Make sure your parent wants a back rub at this time. (Especially important if your mom is Chancellor of Germany)
  2. Retract claws.
  3. Begin at the shoulder blades, making concentric circles, gradually working down the…
  4. Excuse me, did I stutter back there? RETRACT CLAWS!

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Via Rob Bixby.

A Ripping Good Yarn

When we last met Kwanza and puppy pal Honey, they had become best friends at Darling Downs Zoo in Pilton, Queensland. Looks like they’ve started a project together: building the world’s largest ball of yarn. How’s it going, kids?

FaveFrame™!

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Thanks to Adam of CoxCreatura.

Meanwhile, at Shaolin Elementary School…

So, my apprentice… you think you are ready because you have passed the challenge of “five high.” But that is not the final test of your speed and cunning. Your training shall not be complete until you master… “five low.”

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Photo by Mary Gretchen Kaplan and sender-inner Maureen P.

Whatever Floats Your Goat

Friends, in farms everywhere, a silent tragedy unfolds: baby goats born with legs too short to reach the ground. For the innocents burdened with this mysterious affliction, life is an everyday struggle. Moving from place to place, even the joyful act of leaping in the air, are impossible dreams. But there is hope. With research, we can bring them down to earth and into normal lives. Please send your contribution, no matter how large, to: The I’ll Believe Anything Foundation, Box 57, Cayman Islands.

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Via the karma-finding Adam Rifkin.

All Your Cat Questions Answered At Last!

Cats — one of Life’s great mysteries. Now, for the first time, Time-Mice Publishing brings you the Complete Cat Home Reference. This handsome reference work sits on your bookshelf and answers all your cat-related questions, such as: What are cats made of? Where do they come from? What is their purpose? Order now!

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Via Pedro Ribeiro Simões.

I Just Can’t Stop Eating These Things!

Every time I finish one, I want to have an otter, and an otter, and an otter!

otter

This Is One of Those “Funny” Donuts, Isn’t It?

(sigh) No frosting, no sprinkles, no sugar… and those funny little seeds that get stuck in my front teeth. You just couldn’t have dropped something from Krispy Kreme, could you?

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My Morning Bagel, by Jesse Millan.

Meanwhile, Near the Temple of Doom…

“I’m tellin’ ya, Lenny, I saw it with my own eyes, it was totally sick! The guy chains this other guy to a rack, then he mumbles some kinda hocus pocus magic words, and then he sticks his hand in like this…”

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Via Duniafoto Digital.

An Easter… Tree?

Getting our holiday symbology a little scrambled, are we? What’s next, carving egg-shaped pumpkins? Exchanging St. Bunnytine’s Day cards? Needless to say, I disapprove.

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Via Proflowers.com.

Our Easter Bunday Mini-Marathon continues…

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