And a Slide of Bacon, Please

The Lurking Fiend

Dear Diary: The stranger came again. Night after night he challenges me in the hallway, cloaked in the shade of darkness, growing ever taller before my astonished eyes. I stand frozen in place, afraid to speak or move, yearning only for the calm of morning when I may again bask in the warm illusion that I alone am master of this domain. Yet every sundown he is there to mock and scorn, imitating my every move. “Begone, vile specter!” I cry in vain, but the silent brute lingers. I fear that madness soon may be upon me.

15257398135_a896ba701e_k

Via Flickr-er pslee999.

Lifestyles of Glamorous Cats!

With 2015 underway, calendar season comes once again to a close, bringing with it a well-deserved rest for model Zelda Pherphenanny. The Albany native is in high demand by calendar publishers for her clever poses. “Of course,” she says, “my ultimate dream is to appear in the Cute Overload calendar. Maybe next year.”

VC8VWI0

Via Reddit.

The Amazing Couch Magnets™!

Have you run out of space on your refrigerator door, and you still have important receipts to organize and children’s artwork to display? Then put your sofa to work with new Couch Magnets! (CAUTION: May cause shredding and/or shedding. Do not attempt to sit on couch while in use.)

15366901673_8871935aca_o

Via Adam Rifkin.

I Feel Your Pain, Dawg…

They missed an easy kick, and now they’ll never beat the point spread!

eZjDldb

Via Redditor twosnapsup.

Ayup, Alfalfa’s Comin’ in Good This Yee-ah…

Corn’s all planted, hay’s all bailed… Nothin’ to do now, ‘cept chew on this hee-ah straw an’ wait for spring. Sure hope we get an early spring this year, on account of my jaw gets powerful tired after a spell…

image

You Mock Superman?

It is not wise to mock Superman. My super-ears can detect your suppressed giggles even over hundreds of miles. I might freeze you with my super-cooling breath, or fry you with my super-heat vision. Or perhaps I may flatten you beneath the weight of my super-pounce, or fling you across the room with one flick of my super-tail. But no, I am Superman. I use my super-powers only for good. Therefore, I shall merely throw you some super-shade.

uflafGs

“Just moved into a new apartment. This is my neighbor,” says Redditor aletati.

It’s Amazing How They Recognize Words

“Hey, Jasper — you want to go for a walk? Maybe to the park? Where you can chase the ducks? Then we can drive to Vegas? And pawn Daddy’s ring? Then do lots of shots? And pass out in an alley? Then wake up in Mexico?”

FlusteredRevolvingAgama

All Capped Out

Sorry, coach — I’d like to play ball, but I need a seventh-inning stretch.

pupincap

Hmm, Interesting!

Well, I never. Really? You don’t say. That is absolutely fascinating. I did not know that. My, the things they can do these days. My, oh my. Don’t that beat all? This is most interesting, do go on.

1MHABYwh

Posted to Imgur by Yhetti.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 16,365 other followers