Free Garlic Hairballs with Every Order!

When you want the hottest, freshest pizza fast, put down the dominoes and dial Parcheesi’s Pizza! Our patented process keeps your pizza at the purr-fect temperature!

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“Forgot to close the lid,” says Redditor k3vbomb.

My Croak Is My Passport. Verify Me

To: All Employees
From: CuteLabs Security

Due to recent breaches of cuteness protocol, all doors have been upgraded with Rapacity Inhibiting Boundary Inquiry Technology (RIBIT) locks. To gain entry, employees must: 1. Touch key card to panel; 2. Answer random security question posed by RIBIT GuardFrog; 3. Kiss RIBIT GuardFrog to enable DNA matching. Please report sudden transformations to First Aid.

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Via Reddit.

I Am Too a Pterodactyl! Stop Laughing!

I AM A FEARSOME PREDATOR OF THE LATE JURASSIC PERIOD I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW SO STOP GIGGLING AND POINTING YOUR STUPID CAMERAS AND MAKING OOCHIE-GOOCHIE NOISES AT ME! SHOW SOME RESPECT!

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Via Karen Westphal.

Snorgler on the Orient Express

Agent Romanoff glanced furtively about. The man in the tortoise-shell glasses, pretending to read the paper — she’d seen him once before, in Tangiers. So they were onto her at last. There would be others, she knew, watching her every move. Now she would need her wits about her if she hoped to smuggle the kitten to Moscow for debriefing.

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Secret Squirrel

… and when Victor returned to his birdhouse that evening, little did he realize that shadowy agents from the NSA (Neighborhood Squirrel Alliance) were listening in on his every move…

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Via Robert Engberg.

Crash Test Cuties

Here at CuteLabs, our researchers work tirelessly to make kittens safer and more durable. In this slow-motion crash test, we see the benefits of CuteLabs’ patented BellehBuffer™ technology in helping these kittens survive a head-on collision.

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Know Your Mythical Forest Creatures

When traveling the frozen woods of Norway, beware of Trekronhjort, the mythical three-headed stag. According to legend, Trekronhjort will grant a wish to anyone who encounters it; a remarkable 97 percent of the time, that wish is “please don’t rip me to pieces with your antlers.”

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Via Reddit.

Tractor Full O’ Trouble

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm he had a kitten, E-I-E-I-O
With a “meow meow” here, and a “hiss hiss” there,
And a “feed me” here, and a “change my litter box” there,
And a “I wanna go out” here, and a “I changed my mind let me back in” there…

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“I found this little girl in my garden yesterday. And then she had to go on and do this, so now I obviously have to keep her,” says Redditor ChanRancher.

The Straight Story

Strapped into the cramped cockpit, the drag racer awaits his moment. Behind him: a nitromethane-fueled monster. Before him: the most important quarter mile he will ever know. He grips the wheel until it becomes a part of him, an extension of his mind, man and machine aimed with pinpoint precision down a straight line to glory. Even a slight bending of that line, the faintest variance left or right, could cost him victory — or even his life. The countdown begins: first red, then yellow, then green, and…

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“The morning dew perfectly captured my dog’s erratic freedom run,” says Redditor Babolattack.

Behold, the Mighty Triceratops

A gentle giant in an age of monsters, the Triceratops roamed the earth during the Late Cute-acious period. Although a peaceful plant-eater, Triceratops could be a fearsome adversary, thanks to its tough protective skull and its three lethal horns, which brought instant death to all who angered it… starting with the guy who glued them on in the first place.

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“My dog has clearly had enough of my crap,” admits Redditor BIGMc_LARGEHUGE.

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