Not That Mike The Other Mike

New Species Discovered: “Caturtle”

Cuteologists are cheering the discovery of the “caturtle,” a feline/reptilian hybrid equipped with a tough outer shell and a fuzzy inner body.

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And Now, Elizabethan Reptile Theatre, with Your Host, Gaylord Smythe-Wattle

Good evening. We continue this week with The Travails of Hinky Binkydink, the ribald wanderings of a common chameleon. In tonight’s episode, our hero’s tongue becomes entangled in the wig of Lady Euphigenia Flacknell just as her husband returns home from fighting the Spanish Armada.

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Via ElectroDragon.

All Right, Kids — Big Finish!

“Right, just like we rehearsed it — Lance and Maynard, you climb on Roger’s back, then The Shellenda Sisters will crawl up and form an inverse pyramid! OK, there’s the drum roll…”

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“They’re happy spring is here too,” says Flickr-er Matthew.

Where You Want ‘Em, Lady?

Here is a photograph of attractive men holding armfuls of puppies. I’m not even going to bother writing a caption. Seriously, what would be the point? You’re not reading this. You’re looking at the puppies. Then up to the guys. Then back to the puppies. You know it, and I know it, and you know I know you know it. I could just write out a lot of random slot machine flapjack yippity-pow linoleum and you’d never even notice, would you?

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Via Pandawhale.

The Not-so-Sweet Smell of FAIL

All I wanted to do with that skunk was have a frank exchange of viewpoints. But no, Mr. Skunk wanted to exchange something else instead. Why can’t folks just agree to disagree?

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Via Mike Mozart.

Now How Much Wouldn’t You Pay?

Infomercials used to be a bore — but no more! Now there’s two exciting new video clips from the Animal Foundation to promote dog and cat adoption! So curl up in your Snuggie, polish your George Foreman grill with your ShamWow, Bow-Flex that dialing finger and press the play button below! As an added bonus, if you watch within the next thirty seconds, you’ll see them that much sooner! Click now!

Via AdWeek.

Dude, Help a Brother Out Here?

Yo, dude — show me how you got in there, willya? Kind of hangin’ by a thread, what with the way Speed Racer here likes to corner at full speed, know what I’m sayin’?

Oh, so you’re just gonna sit there? It’s like that, then? Ice cold, bro.

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Seth Brundle Would Like a Word

Fresh from their triumph with the Large Adrian Colander, scientists at the laboratories of Worldwide Holistic Advanced Technology (WHAT) are about to flip the switch on the first intercontinental simultaneous dual matter teleportation system. Horror movie producers everywhere eagerly await mining the outcome for story ideas.

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Top: July Pastorello; Bottom: Bahador.

Just a Little Off the Top, Please

For a unique dining experience while visiting the Pacific Terraquarium, stop by Chez Beluga restaurant. Choose your meal fresh from dozens of live specimens walking around in our massive display tank.

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Actually, there’s no picture here. We deny it completely. You didn’t see anything. And it didn’t come from Daily Picks and Flicks, that’s for sure.

What a Load of Bunk

“Mom! Bobby won’t stop kicking me from the middle bunk!”

“Well, Stacey keeps drooling hairballs from the top bunk!”

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“My niece decided that her cats should sleep in bunk beds,” says Redditor flooid.

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