Not That Mike The Other Mike

Oh, and Don’t Forget, Mom…

… I need a box of emery boards, a bottle of Prell for extra spiky hair, and i think I’m getting a cold, so pick up some Ny-Quill.

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C.O. Guide to Emergency Preparedness

For situations involving unrest by mice, birds, or other small animals, make sure your home has an Emergency Cat close at hand. The Emergency Cat should be located in a convenient drawer or cupboard, and checked periodically to make sure its batteries are charged.

“She’s positive this bathroom drawer was made for her,” says Redditor Earlyecho.

The Major Is Not Pleased

Balderstuff and poppyrot! It appears that my local chemist’s has depleted its supply of Whickham and Warwick’s Wildroot Wonder Whisker Wax! Now I shall be forced to attend the annual reunion dinner of the 51st North Southeasterwest Light Infantry looking like an unkempt assortment of discarded pipe cleaners! The outrage!

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“She can shoot laser beams from her moustache,” boasts Redditor threeswordstyle.

Science Run Amok!

Science ethicists have raised concerns about the project known as the Large Corgion Collider, noting that a mishap could open a quantum tunnel into a parallel universe ruled by corgis.

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Invasion of the Pug People!

ATTENTION EARTHLOIDS AND HUMANETTES! THE ERA OF PUG CONSCIOUSNESS IS AT HAND! SUBMIT TO YOUR PUG OVERLORDS AND BECOME WRINKLY AND ADORABLE IN THE GLORIOUS PUG COLLECTIVE!

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Via Fark.

Welcome to Fort Bunday

In order to get in, you’ll need the secret password, plus two forms of photo ID, a letter of reference from the finance minister of Sri Lanka, an exceedingly rare Pokemon “Bunnzilla” card, a three-and-a-half leaf clover, and a carrot.

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Via C_ossett.

The Things I Do for a Ham Sandwich

“(OK, just stay calm, he’s almost finished, I think I hear him spreading the mayo now… There’s the crinkling of the wax paper, almost time now… Keep it together, focus, just open your mouth and think like a backpack…)”

“When he gets in trouble, this is his ‘time out’ spot,” explains Redditor johneydepp.

Ouch in the Couch

We always enjoy when Aunt Hildegarde comes to visit. She’s so full of interesting stories about faraway places and fascinating people, that we just lose track of time.

Then she gets up to leave, and we realized that’s not all we lost track of…

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Rock On, Turtle Dude!

When they were home alone, Biff and Leroy would often while away many an hour headbanging to “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

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Who Was That Masked Man?

Edgar considered himself a smart and savvy individual, but he still fell for the “OMG that smokin’ hot poodle in the next yard is sunbathing again quick get the binoculars and check it out” trick every time.

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Via Dan Zacky.

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