Golly Gee Whiz, I Sure Love Being A Dog!
Absurdly Happy Dog
Boy oh boy, is it awesome being a dog or what? I get my own little house out in the cold and rain, and every day someone ties a rope to my neck and watches me go to the bathroom! And the food — don’t get me started on how good that is!
Why This Little Piggy Went To Market
CEO, The Sty Exchange
Look, friends, there’s no big bad wolf on Wall St. This is the time to go whole hog and buy up some shares. I have some recommendations that are sure to be long term successes for your porkpholio; and I promise not to be a boar.
Doctoral Candidate Feline/Canine Studies
Long is the conflict between dogs and cats, yet we are seeing a trend in friendships among dogs and cats. Are we moving closer to a cultural understanding? It may be time to put our differences aside.
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Media Director, So Who’s A Pretty Boy Then Foundation
Ooooooh! chk-chk-chk-chk! So who’s a pretty boy, then? Is it you? Is it you? chk-chk-chk-chk! Ooooooh! Pretty boy, pretty boy! chk-chk-chk-chk! So who’s a pretty boy, then? Oooooooh!
The First Rule of Spit Club: You Do Not Talk About Spit Club
Student, Ranchero Learning Lab School
I used to be the kid all the other kids picked last to play soccer. I wasn’t asked to parties or invited to reindeer games, either. That is, until I started Spit Club. I found the thing I was really good at, plus it’s pretty gross, and kids just started flocking to join.
It Is Time To End Discrimination Against Evil
CEO, League of Evil, Inc.
It is saddening that, in these enlightened times, people who commit acts of evil continue to be shunned and stigmatized. Where is the tolerance, we wonder? I myself have felt its pernicious effects, the pointed fingers, the whispers and stares, just because I burnt down an orphanage that one time.
How to Invest for Your Future When You Don’t Even Have Pockets
Professional of Financial Studies; Author, Leave It
For those of us who aren’t marsupials, it’s hard to save things. Sure some of us can dig and deposit for use at a later date, but most of us just aren’t that great at saving things for later. Let me teach you a few tricks about the concept of tomorrow. No, it’s not right now.
Popular Style Writer for Cheeks Magazine
Why don’t we stop limiting what we wear based on our age? Life is too short without a little fun and style. Not to be a big ham, but I have some amazing picks for summer fashions that will be appropriate for any age.
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Blargle Humphl Umfth Snarth Rumphty Agth Fhnu
World-renowned harrumpher
Hruumph blumphl ish argity fnurphl glrhhgth. Hathruugh nrtg rghtl barlth nurbth garhthle harrumph. Bleaargth hrumphl urt acth mrrlph sthrluupth harrumph ghrthle. Harrrrrrumphth!
Resident, Murphy’s Farm
Mom was just here a minute ago and now I don’t see her. I’m really hungry and she said something about getting slop and being right back, but I’m a little worried. [shivers]
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Is There Such a Thing As “Too Close”?
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Scientists, Theologians Debate Significance Of Mysterious Floating Cat
FASHION: What NOT To Wear To The Office This Season
Jared’s Cat GAINS Five Pounds On “Subway Soft Drinks” Diet
You Gotta Be Kitten: Itty Bitty Kitty Committee Denounces Kitten Huffing
SHOCK: Prince Turns Back Into Frog
Photo Credits: TOP: guinea pig, Zoe B.; dog, Cara H.; orangutan, unknown source; kitten, Stephanie R. – COLUMN ONE: evil cat, Katherine S.; dog with glasses, Treana W.; hamster, Klara S.; harrumph dog, Lisa P.; “where’s mom” piglet, Whisker Snaps Photo; happy dog, Annika K.; “politics” cat, Joyce S.; “business” pig, Claire C.; parakeet, Rachel D.; alpaca, Mary P. COLUMN TWO: cat pulling string, Andrew T.; “It’s Over” cats, Alida W.; horses, Klaus Buchmann (found by Ant); “hide and seek” cat, Jessica C.; cat on clotheslines, Elizabeth V.; hoarding chipmunk, Christine Y.; basketball dog, Cricket; toroise, Hayley L.; gossip squirrels, Stephanie F. COLUMN THREE: floating cat, Ratko V.; necktie dog, Jackson C.; Subway cat, Desiree B.; kitten huffing, Lisa M.; frog, Jamie I.; Peeps, Larissa M.; kitten, Kelly P.; flying squirrel, Miriam S.; mouse on cat, Stacey. ADVERTISEMENTS: pug in pot, Heidi A.; CatMatch cat, Larissa A.; flat-stomach dog, Noah P.; hen, Laurel L.
