Totally True Tales of Terribly Tense Terror!

“There I was, alone inside the forbidden treasure chamber of Ali oop-Zamfir. I had just looted the entire collection of first edition AOL free trial CDs when I heard a ferocious roar. I turned, and there were four of the fiercest, hungriest tigers I had ever seen. They backed me into a corner. All hope seemed lost, when…” (finish the story in the comments!)


Via Adam Rifkin/Pandawhale.



  1. Mplsdeb says:

    Someone shook a box of Meow Mix and they retreated.

  2. ….when Glinda, the Fairy Dogmother, wagged her magic tail, sprinkling catnip dust over my pursuers and I was able to escape unharmed to the safety of my castle…er, fireplace.

  3. …I flung the pink blanket over them and made my escape!

  4. fkaWaldenPond says:

    …the third on the left exclaimed “omg, finalllyy someone’s here.. Can you puuleasse replenish the wine stock and then update the pashmina and Amelie movie; we’ve been stuck in here with this stuff since the early 00’s….

  5. Elaine C Williamson says:

    That is one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen. I laughed so hard my cat came to see what was wrong.

  6. Ali oop-Zamfir? AOL cd’s? Oh Mike, you’re a treasure

  7. myadestes says:

    I realized I was standing on a flying carpet!

  8. …I grabbed my trusty red dot wand and made them DANCE like a pack of kittens!! DANCE you ferocious beasts, I exclaimed. Then I posted the video to YouTube and made my escape. (Curls up on pink blanket holding trusty laser pointer in teeth and shudders at the memory). Oh the horror…

  9. Can we play this game again please Mr. NTMTOM?

  10. @Faye: I will look for more chances to set up a story game. You folks had a lot of fun with this one. 🙂

  11. I was zapped by the Wizard which led to me being transported and landing here with these tiny Aliens. Where is my LOOT MISTER WIZARD, YOU CANT HAVE IT !!!

  12. The Original Jane says:

    Mighty Mouse flew in and saved the day!

  13. @The Original Jane:

  14. Thank you NTMTOM. 😍

  15. I miss Andy Kaufman. Great subtle routine. Thanks again NTMTOM.

  16. “…. I realised this was what they meant when they said “I died from teh cute.”

    PS Two middle kitteh’s are killin’ me with how they’re sitting and looking up at that big goofeh doggeh.

  17. The Tardis appeared and swooped above me as the Doctor invited me in and we made our swift escape from the planet of the mewing kittens. Don’t turn your back on them and whatever you do, don’t blink!

  18. I clicked my paws together 3x and made my escape

  19. I figured out that the tassels from my perch of safety were impregnated with a magical tincture of tempting tiger transfixation. The tigers became tiny tots toying with my tabernacle of treasures. I soon sneaked out the side door with my loot, careful not to draw attention away from the tassels. All’s well that ends with me escaping carrying my acquisitions.

  20. The Original Jane says:

    @NTMTOM – Yup, there were MM reruns when I was a kid in the 60s and then Andy Kaufman’s skit in the 70s was hilarious.

  21. …I suddenly realized the four tiny tigers were telling me Friend! Not foe! And we all lived happily ever after.

  22. Tammi J says:

    …when someone in another chamber shook a box of tiger food and they scurried away.

  23. Emmberrann says:

    The tiny tigers were merely curious. They looked up with their tiny tiger eyes, but drew no closer. They started jumping on one another, and biting each other’s ears. While they were so distracted, I sneaked away and was thus able to make good my escape. Unfortunately, this circumstance lasted a scant 6 minutes, whereupon the tiny tigers elected to nap upon me all at the same time. Too cute!

  24. I awoke and realized that it was just a dream. But, as I walked across the room to my water dish to get a much needed drink, I heard the tiniest, teensiest little roar as if four tigers cried out but were silenced. Was it a just a dream?

  25. “Tiny tigers, why does there have to be tiny tigers.”

  26. NTMTOM – yes, definitely hope we can have more of these – your setup and these replies are awesome!

  27. I vote for Gizmo 🙂

  28. as I cried out, “My kingdom for some catnip!”

  29. the ice cream truck bell rang and the tigers raced off to get their daily frozen treats.

  30. elishab says:

    …..when I realized I held the key to taming such Terrible Tigers in my handy-dandy Fanny Pack. I slowly unzipped my pack, pulled out my amazing (and always cool) Walk-man, selected the best MC Hammer rap that ever was and turned up the volume. Said Terrible Tigers were now thumping and dancing to “Can’t Touch This”. As they were losing themselves in play, I slowed approached and realized these tigers were not looking for a meal but merely looking for a good time!

  31. Shouldn’t it be “Tails” not “Tales” 😉

  32. ….Mt. Pepto Bismol appeared and sheltered me as I scrambled up it’s pretty pink cliffs with nary a glance behind me.

  33. Killer Klown says:

    Nope. Nevermind. Hope’s definitely lost.

  34. @meghan LOL Mt. Pepto Bismol. That’s where they bottle it!

  35. Grrr at my typo of “it’s” in my original post – it should be “its”.