Reports indicate their boxlike ships have landed in key metro areas throughout the world: Los Angeles, New York, London, Paris, Melbourne, and Des Moines. The craft are usually marked “Amazon.com” or some other type of online retailer. The creatures are small, furry, and are distinguished by rather large eyes and a steely, piercing stare. If you see one of these creatures, please call your local police department ASAP.
Your cooperation is appreciated.