Dating Tips for Dogs!

So, you think you’re ready for a whirlwind night on the town with the lady of your dreams? Well, slo-ho-ho-ow down there, buckaroo, because it’s time to learn some basic dating etiquette!


Tip number one: Take a bath! That “guess what I just rolled in” odor may impress your drinking buddies, but one whiff from your lady friend, and she’ll hand you a one-way ticket to the friend zone!


Ahh, that’s better! Now it’s time to learn the art of dinner conversation. Make sure you hold her attention by steering the conversation to topics that might interest her:

  • Romantic movies
  • Romantic books
  • Romantic View-Master slides
  • Austrian vs. Keynesian Economic Theory: Which Is More Romantic?

But avoid these topics at all cost!

  • Demolition derby
  • Belt sanders you have owned
  • That thing you rolled in


Max is quite the ladies pup, Tracey M.!



  1. TheIglets says:


  2. I would take Max to dinner in a heartbeat.

  3. He cleans up well!

  4. Rachael says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone quite as adorable as Max. 🙂

  5. I guess “Don’t hump her leg on the first date” is just assumed.

  6. belphebe says:

    Yes, avoid conversations about belt sanders. However, do talk about drill presses and router bits and provide the best tips for using a tabletop miter saw. Or compliment her on the awesome Arduino-controlled LED display that she created!

    You could probably talk about the cute heart-shaped LED brooch she is wearing that she made herself. Or, if you are as cute as Max, you could probably get away with talking about romantic books or movies. Maybe.

    (retreating to my geekspace now because my LED brooch isn’t working properly yet.)

  7. Malinki says:

    There’s a Ralph and Herbie joke here somewhere, but I’m gonna leave Fifi alone 🙂

  8. Belt sanders are awesome! And electric drills with paddle bits! And compound mitre saws! My problem has been that my tool collections is bigger/better than his. Tool envy.

  9. long walkies on the beach says:

    This post is hilarious. I miss you when you’re gone Not That Mike, The Other Mike.

  10. I’ve dated worse.

  11. belphebe says:

    I’m still trying to figure out what “hypno-allergenic” means. (bath hovertext) I think I know what hypo-allergenic means, but not “hypno”. Can hypnotize people into believing they aren’t allergic to dogs? Especially dogs as cute as Max?

  12. Romantic View-Master slides FTW!

  13. What fantastic writing, NTMTOM.

  14. Raymond says:

    Keep working on the broach, belphebe.
    Let’s fight the stereotypes!

  15. Kellygirl says:

    I love NTMTOM!!

  16. Tracey M says:

    I love the comments. My Max is becoming quite the local celebrity after reading this. Thanks for posting.