Do You Have that Feline Feeling?

Are you one of the nearly 1 in 50 women who suffer from CHS (cat head syndrome)? Look for any of these warning signs:

  • Sudden urge to lick arms and legs
  • Unnatural attraction to string
  • Random alternating feelings of listlessness, hyperactivity, curiosity, indifference, pudding
  • Gigantic cat head

Fortunately there’s Meowlitra™, the once-tri-semi-daily pill clinically almost proven to reverse the effects of CHS. Ask your doctor if Meowlitra is right for you, and keep changing doctors until you find one who says yes, then… Be the You You Used to Be™, with Meowlitra.*

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* Side effects are mild to spicy and may include: headache, nausea, memory loss, binge chirping, temporary mono-nostril, memory loss, vertigo, stage fright, frenzy, north by northwest, phantom menace syndrome, memory loss, time travel, boogie fever, clairvoyance, chocolate stigmata, happy feet, spontaneous vegetation, and memory loss. If death occurs, reduce dosage. From Cats, Beavers and Ducks, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Global Manufactured Illness, Inc.

Comments

  1. If you, or a loved one, took Meowlitra you may be eligible for financial compensation…

  2. Blue Footed Booby says:

    And an Egyptian goddess is born.

  3. Wow I think one of my humans is suffering from this! I will have to get her some meowlitra!

  4. skippymom says:

    But why would one wish to be cured?

  5. hahahah that is brilliant.

  6. Don’t forget spontaneous hacking (of hair balls)….

  7. But does it cause memory loss?

  8. boogiepaws says:

    I think I need this drug… if only to experience the time travel and boogie fever. Hopefully I can work around the mono-nostril.

  9. Mmmeeeooouuucchhh ! How can she how her head up straight..
    Her neck muscles don’t look strong enough

  10. Barbie meets Hello Kitty.

  11. Wait, what, they said something about memory loss?……….Oh ok…………..wait, what, memory loss???
    Thanks NTMTOM, please to classics CATegory :)

  12. kibblenibble says:

    While this kitty is patient with us as we amuse ourselves at his/her expense, his/her nose is just waiting…..
    *boop*

  13. NOMTOM, I love you.
    hahah.. phantom menace syndrome…

  14. skippymom says:

    HI CEEJOE

  15. Take two of these pills, and if you wake up in the morning, call me again!

  16. 4leafclover says:

    Is this from Prescott Pharmaceuticals? ;)

  17. The Original Jane says:

    Wait…are you saying women are catty? (sorry I couldn’t resist)

  18. “Clinically almost proven” to make my day. Thanks, NTMTOM, the best doctor ever!

  19. Oh, NTMTOM, you are too funny. ::dabs eyes::

  20. :’D

  21. Clairdelune says:

    NTMTOM, you are a master of the surreal… heck, I feel that way most days. Now, what would happen if I gave the Meowlitra to my cat also? Would we both get a Barbie body?

  22. “pudding”!!!

  23. Unrealistic body images like this are the reason why cats are always vomiting.

  24. Hi skippymom!

  25. The Original Jane says:

    Okay that actually made me lol!

  26. Temporary mono-nostril made me shoot Coke Zero out of my two nostrils!

  27. :D

  28. How do I love thee NTMTOM, let me count the pudding.

  29. humminbirdie says:

    that explains so much! so if I get my kittehs some therapy, they will stop randomly puking on things??! that would be wonderful!!!

  30. I second that. The author should get a Pulitzer or something.

  31. emmberrann says:

    “Spontaneous vegetation.” Makes perfect sense to me. Or have I been a NTMTOM fan for too long?

  32. And a craving for tuna.

  33. Oh, I thought it might be our image that makes them nauseous.

  34. I don’t even know where to begin.

    binge chirping? That actually sounds like fun.

    temporary mono-nostril? The mental pictures…. I need mental bleach

    phantom menace syndrome? I understand George Lucas is patient zero.

    chocolate stigmata? Sounds like Korn’s new album

    spontaneous vegetation – pretty sure they have something at the drug store for that.

    Oh, and this gem: If death occurs, reduce dosage

    This is one for the coffee table book

  35. Bwahahaha…brilliant.

  36. Smartypants says:

    Oh! NTMTOM, I know you hear this daily, but you have outdone yourself – best text ever!

  37. AWW :D The things people do to their kitties :D

  38. LOL!!!! :D

  39. Phantom Menace Syndrome: You get old, gain weight, become obsessed with CGI, and make terrible prequels.

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