Tales of the Duck Patrol

We were twenty klicks behind the lines, scouting an enemy bread depot. The air was thick with the stench of silence; every crackling blade of grass felt like an explosion in our own private hell. “Sarge, think we’ll get a medal for this?” asked Beakman. “Right now, kid,” I replied, “I’d settle for some pumpernickel.”

Via FuLynHu.



  1. 260Oakley says:

    Looks like the Airborne Division has deployed it’s crack pair-a-poopers, ready to take off and drop a few behind enemy lines.

  2. Beakman… [shaking head] NOMTOM, I love you.

  3. quack troops peking over the ridge?

  4. Awww Peeking ducks….love 🐤

  5. The air was thick with the stench of silence…is the perfect description of what happens when my husband and I are mad at each other!! 😆

    You sure have a way with words NOMTOM.

  6. He does look pretty fierce but then that little tail curl just gives me the squees.

  7. It’s…duckehs…mastering the kitteh pre-pounce ‘tocks windup…*kerthud*

  8. The last line just killed me LOLOL!

  9. DUCK!

  10. That looks like my backyard. Except you don’t see the impending doom of the Boxer tock scrambling towards the ducks.

    Beakman…pumpernickel 🙂 Ohhhh how you make me smile NOMTOM 🙂

  11. I was also sold at pumpernickel. How’s the coffee table book progressing NOMTOM?

  12. Marjorie Berkowitz says:

    Re-confirm: How’s the coffee table book progressing, NTMTOM? Thanks for bringing the subject to the fore, Vanessa. Or maybe to the multitudes?

  13. Hilarious.

  14. sabrina rose says:

    I notice that Beak Girl appears to be leading….

  15. SlaveToCat says:

    “Beakhman darling.”
    “What is it dear Posh old Spice.”
    “Remember when we were young and courting how we would swim around this pond before it was drained for a golf course.”
    “Yes I do. Lets take one last swim for old time sake.”

  16. Pair-a-poopers! Hee hee!

  17. FTW

  18. “Beakman” by itself was worth the price of admission. :mrgreen:

  19. Theresa says:

    They were twenty klicks behind the lined? Try twenty QUACKS! 😛

  20. I feel like I’m watching a William Holden WWII movie. You build a lot of atmosphere/story with a few simple words Mike.

  21. They’re obvy trying to sneak up on the goose!

  22. okay, so what are they REALLY doing?

  23. Ready to duck and cover…

  24. doomchild (and Merri) says:

    Some unfortunate duck hunter is about to get a beakfull…

  25. I’m fortunate enough to live near a Grade 2 listed park, with a lake and everyfing. It is full of water fowl, including ducks and I have NEVER seen any of them doing this 😉

  26. Rachael says:

    I bet they’re spying on their kids. Teenagers, dontcha know. 🙂

  27. mplsdeb says:

    I am in my cubicle giggling. Oakley you slay me. NTMTOM…I love your little vignettes!! what a great way to start the day…giggling!

  28. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    My friend Robin says they really are getting ready to-or are thinking about-attacking something. She’s a duck & goose & swan person. Knows what she’s talking about.

  29. I took this picture (FuLinHyu) and the pair walked down the hill (female following), the male sat down in the grass, so she sat right beside him (that pic is on Flickr too), then he got up, plopped on his tummy and started belly surfing up the hill about 30 feet and she went and did the exact same thing and caught up to him for the last 15 feet or so (when I got this picture). Strangest thing I’ve ever seen them do as well.

  30. Beakman. Then the other one must be Wingman.

  31. dolphin815 says:

    Hunching low to the ground because a car passed by. Or a human. Or a dog. Something spooked them basically. We have a pair of mallards who visit our yard regularly and they take this pose whenever they think there might be danger nearby.