In comedy terms, the photo below is a “target-rich environment,” so bizarre that no one caption can do it justice. So scroll to the poll below and… Pick! Your! Punchline! (or add your own.)
Via William M. via Reddit.
Pick! Your! Punchline!
February 7, 2013 By
Is AFLAC finally replacing that annoying duck mascot with this guy?
I LOVE the duck!
Me too!
Especially this one:
ANYTHING with Yogi Berra is awesome. He’s a great guy and way smarter than he often sounded.
p.s. TWO DAYS!!!!!
He’s on Twitter now!
Twitter? Nobody goes there anymore — it’s too crowded.
AND it gets late there early!
I got tickets to go see the Tigers in Spring Training in a couple weeks! Warm weather, here I come!!
You’re going to have a blast ceejoe! There’s nothing like it in the world.
Lucky Ceejoe! To breathe the same air as Justin Verlander and Miguel Cabrera!
Seriously! And Prince Fielder! I’ve been to Tigers games, but never Spring Training before. I’m so excited!
Don’t you mean…ARFLAC?
LOLOL! … or Barflac!
sugitomo — I’m witYOU re. the aflac junk. He’s more abrasive than even Daffy Duck; and that’s sayin’ somethin’ ….
*stamping foot* I LIKE the duck!
“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian wiener-arian cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.”
Very vivid.
va va va-VOOM!!!!
Aw, ThirdShift, “V for Vendetta” reference!! I love it!!!
Obviously a duckshund!
WINS
He is Beaking the Speeding record.
y’all are giving the Oak a run for her money today!
I picked the PSA to Facebook users, but it should not be directed to just “teens”.
Women
Wat R U Doin?
Women
Stahp!
After looking at the hovertext, I thought of this: #OccupyBajor
Can’t lose with Duck Dodgers!
“This what I get for calling the vet a quack. “
Yeah. He really screws you with the bill.
Or we could call it “the platipup!”
That’s not bad, either.
HA!!!
Win. My version was “I KNEW that doctor was a QUACK!”
Lets see: he’s half canine and half duck, that would make him…a Canuck!!!
All that’s missing is a box of Tim Bits.
As a Timbit munching Canuck I approve of this comment.
Hands Gigi a double-double.
I am pleased with the fact that the response involving a Looney Tunes reference is winning.
If it walks like a duck and barks like a duck, then it’s a duck.
WIN!
I wanted to share some of the suggestions sent via the “Other” vote:
Pleath juth kisth me
Collagen injections gone wrong
Just put it on my bill, thanks.
I do not like the beak of shame.
this is what happens to your Muzzlepouch when you hit the brakes
What? The Cone of Shame wasn’t enough?
AFLAC!
weinerduck
this is what I get for calling my vet a quack.
i’m a platypus!
PS: I was expecting that the “other” selections would be added to the poll so that other people could vote on them. Obviously, that was not correct, so I’ll just share some of the responses here from time to time.
Apparently this is Japanese online shopping service Rakuten’s attempt to make a less threatening muzzle for dogs.
http://item.rakuten.co.jp/winkl/ot-668-030/
Wow, so it is. The dog in our photo appears to be one of the “models” on that website, too.
Oh, those crazy Japanese and their wacky inventions!
I LOVE it! Thanks for the link, wuyizidi, it really made my day. 
A few more “other” responses that I liked:
I ate his liversnaps with a nice chianti (Gurgle noise)
Gotham is Yours! (probably a reference to Bane in “The Dark Knight Rises”)
But they told me this was a costume party!
I’m having a quack-up
They don’t pay me enough!
Duck Season! Rabbit Season!
Movie buffs, come on! The line, “But they told me this was a costume party,” is from “Start the Revolution Without Me,” with Donald Sutherland AND Gene Wilder, when the King of France arrives at the ball dressed as a chicken. If you haven’t seen this movie, run-don’t-walk to find it!
Yeah, my quote was from V for Vendetta, you know, the mask, the subversive cuteness … nobody gets me either.
I remember that movie from long ago… The switched around twins? Right?
Also, the Hannibal Lecter reference made me choke on my apple.
9:00 Mission: Impossible (1968). Rollin Hand (Martin Landauchshund) impersonates the kidnapped president of Duckistan, while Jim (Peter Greyhound) and Cinnamon (Bow-wow-bara Bain) attempt a rescue.
I thought it was ducks who wear dog masks and not the other way around: http://imgur.com/jluYz
100% duckface, YOLO-free
Time for some more from the “Other” file:
Barkwing Duck: I am the weiner that barks in the night
“Pupper Ducky, you’re the one…”
Cute duck lips but aren’t the pringles are supposed to go *inside* the mouth?
The official Dog of Duck Dynasty
I will maintain my composure right up to the moment they take this thing off!
I know where you sleep.
My human pet is a real Quack Up.
Duckbill Dauchsapus
Bvark! Bvark!
‘Duckbilled platypup’ ftw!
Yes! My though exactly!
Oops. That was supposed to say “thought”. Darn keyboard gremlins…
This ….is……SO…..not…….right!!
My first thougt was Duck, Duck, Goose….