Attack of the Killer Kittens!

A murderer lurks among us — in every garden, down every alley, perhaps in your very home. A soulless, bloodthirsty killing machine, able to hunt entire terror-stricken species to eternal extinction with cold, grim, unfeeling efficiency…


Who is this fiend? The common house cat. According to research quoted in The Scientist, domestic and feral cats kill as many as 3.7 billion birds and 20.7 billion mammals each year. And after they’re done with field mice, could we be next?


And yet, this fearsome beast is capable of … this.

Photos via Mikael Tigerström and Kevin Dooley.

Comments

  1. tee hee re. “hyperbole machine” :)

    Mike knocks anudder one outta tha park …..

  2. so funny! just what i needed to kick off this cold, dark, humpday morning…

  3. I’s skeered! Hafta sleep with one eye open tonight in case my felines are plotting some evil.

  4. SlaveToCat says:

    What do you mean kitty fail. He planned on jumping into the trash can to roll around in the discarded chicken packaging.

  5. you see…. hyperbole or not, that first bit is exactly my thing with housecats. soulless and bloodthirsty, man…

  6. 260Oakley says:

    I agree. He totally meant to do a can-on ball!

  7. My cats are not soulless and bloodthirsty they can barely kill a fly when they catch one in the house. And of course that’s the solution to part of the killing spree, house cats should not be let free to roam outside. Would you let a dog roam free outside? Of course not! In the old days they had to put the cat outside at night and let it out during the day because they didn’t have litter boxes (kitty litter was invented after WW2) Ask any vet and they will say it’s a lot better to keep them inside all the time.

    Getting off the soap box box now, sorry but it’s a pet peeve of mine,

  8. I for one, am for thankful for the lack of mice in my house due to my beautiful, loving yet fierce cat.

  9. Cats are natural carnivorous predators who are following thousands of years of evolutionary instinct? Say it isn’t so!!!!! That said, if you have the luxury of keeping kitty indoors, it’s a good idea. Our cat back home in Missouri rips screens down to get outside so…some of us don’t have that.

  10. Kitty keeps the black plague/rats away.

  11. think of 20 billion more rodents and 3 billion more birds…and a hundred million fewer cats…

    we domesticated these for a reason

  12. That’s interesting, about the litter box invention. It explains the old cartoons where they put the cat out at night.
    I saw this “news” on the news and don’t see why it’s surprising. Cats are predators. As pets I personally think it’s better they are indoors, but that’s also because I worry something will happen.
    I think a lot of the outdoor cats are feral strays (at least in my city there are a lot).

  13. Clairdelune says:

    You totally slay me, Oakley! :-D

  14. Clairdelune says:

    Agreed, Gigi. Usually, indoor cats are much healthier and live longer. I see too many cats and kittens dead on the nearby main roads, along with other critters from the nearby wooded areas.There’s nothing sadder.

  15. phred's mom says:

    Our neighbor’s pritteh kitteh has kept
    us mouseless for a couple of years now,
    and has blessed me with snorgles. I’m
    glad she’s outdoors, but I do worry about
    cars and the occasional eagle here.

  16. Clairdelune says:

    I bet he/she is not neutered/spayed? The urge to reproduce leads to many ripped screens…

  17. and ripped bodice :lol:

  18. agreed – I could rant about it quite a lot – dangerous, rude, etc.

    but also Miss Schnozz is really really not cat-friendly at all, and on walks she tries to go after them. I worry, because that’s someone’s pet and I would hate for anything to happen to it; but at the same time, say she pulls the leash, gets away from me, and decides to catch one? there’s not a thing I can do at that point. She’s already been swiped on the snout once, enough to draw blood, and the owner just laughed :(

  19. *snicker*

    we have a cougar at the Rescue who is in heat… oh lordy what a mess that girl is!

  20. Eek! Do they spay/neuter the big cats?

  21. ‘Nuf said Mike

  22. Floyd is neutered, of course. I can’t wrap my head around people who do not do that. He came to us as a young cat (2 yrs old or so?) who had been left outside his entire kittenhood by very horrible people. So keeping him inside, despite my mother’s efforts, proved to not be worth it. He just won’t have it.

  23. I swore my cat was ready to do me off yesterday when he was lying on me and doing the biscuit knead into my belly. I only survived because he got distracted by nappy time.

  24. boy big cats who weren’t neutered when they arrived will undergo a reversible vasectomy. nothing’s done to the girl big cats, since it would be too invasive, and they don’t always respond well to sedation.

    they don’t have a breeding program, but some of the boys are *ahem* occasionally loaned out. I think we have the top stud ocelot in the country? or something
    *giggle*

  25. aw, what did I say? machine doesn’t like reproductive talk?

    ceej, I tried to respond to answer your question but I’ve gotten myself hung up in mod. may as well make some tea while I’m here.

  26. lol… Let’s see… you didn’t have to say c*ck, or c*m… :)

  27. HAH! I didn’t, I didn’t!
    maybe it’s bre*ding?

  28. That’s just cats (nature) being cats.

    In any geographical area, existing species of predators and preys establish an equilibrium over time. And if an outside specie was introduced, or if some existing one gains advantage (house cats), it could upset that equilibrium, and lead to extinction of existing species. And as prey species goes, normally the number of predator specie will decline accordingly (unless we’re also feeding them).

    Some of these endangered species we humans find beautiful and cute, therefore very fond of. But nature is completely indifferent to all of that – it is completely fair, but also completely merciless.

    There’s nothing ‘unnatural’ about any of this, including when our specie invade territories of other animals when our population rapidly multiply (Agent Smith from Matrix: “there is at least another specie on this planet like humans – the virus”), and drive them to extinction. We are animals too, but one who has a huge advantage over all others in terms of survival.

    So if anyone is at fault, it is us. We at least have some control over our own actions. The cats don’t.

  29. Did you see that study that says there’s at least a 50% chance that house cats will consume the body of their owner if the owner pass away and they’re starving.

    If dogs do that I think there’d be a lot less dog owners. But with cats, we’re all like “aww, at least this will give little kitteh a chance to survive long enough for others to notice.”

  30. The top of that trash can *looked* solid enough . . .

  31. Do they vocalize as much as female cats in heat do? I had one who whent into heat twice before we could get her fixed. Incredible the sounds that came out of that tiny body!

  32. maybe it was stud? :)

  33. Blue Footed Booby says:

    it’s not surprising that they kill birds; it’s surprising that they kill so many birds that populations of some species are dropping precipitously. They kill a number of birds greater than the human populations of India and China combined.

    I have a friend who says things like “it’s the birds’ fault for not paying attention,” who then rants and raves about how terrible it is that invasive plant species are pushing out and killing off native plants. Some people just have this big blind spot when it comes to cats.

  34. Domestic cats are killing migratory songbirds at rates that put a serious dent in their populations. Some species of birds are down %40 below normal by some estimates. Furthermore, wild animals that depend on songbirds for their survival are put at risk, etc. etc. Dr Stanley Temple from University of Wisconsin wrote one of the definitive papers about the impact of domestic cats on songbirds in WI. For anyone who wants to read about it, here’s a link. http://www.rrbo.org/in-the-field/bird-stuff-you-should-know/cats/. Finally, for everyone who thinks it’s cute when Fluffy kills a wild animal, I’m guessing it would not be so cute if a hawk, owl, or coyote tore into Fluffy. After all, “they’re just doing what comes naturally”.

  35. fish eye no miko says:

    To me the funniest thing about the kitteh fail is that you’re expecting him to fall into the sink, then BAM! Trashcanned! LOL! Oh, dear…

  36. oh man, gigi, the yowling… oh man it’s just… it’s… I didn’t know an animal could make those kind of noises… I imagine it’s many times over as loud and strange, homegirl sounds like she’s in absolute agony! (the agony of da heat?)

  37. That “study” apparently has a very W I D E margin of error. http://outfront.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/05/cat-astrophic-threat-scientists-declare-war-on-kitties/

  38. *sigh* Hanging around in the mod lounge again. Peach martini, anyone?

  39. Which is why the Audobon Society and the likes of them are advocating for not doing TNR for the feral cats, but to trap and kill them instead. Here in So Cal, shelters cannot advocate for TNR or they will lose funding because of all the pressure from the bird lovers. I love birds too, but cats kill birds – it’s nature – it’s people who don’t spay and neuter who have caused all the poor ferals in the world, and also people who allow their cats outside unsupervised.

  40. Snaggle toof Snarl Kitty is Snagle Toofing it.

  41. Hands JuJube a nice bowl of Chocolate Pudding. Me too Want an Appletini While we wait.

  42. *giggling at Gigi & the Wild Thing’s “ripped bodice”…*

  43. agony of da heat… HAHAAH!

  44. Arachnophile says:

    Tongue in Cheek or not, this needs to be said. I wish we could kick off a campaign to have people keep their cats indoors. It’s a GENUINE problem when it comes to wildlife conservation, especially migratory birds.

    We can’t get all “uppity” about people in South America using pesticides that kill birds while our beloved little murderers kill just as many, if not more of the same species on an annual basis.

    We wish they’d stick to house sparrows, starlings and other exotic species, but they don’t.

  45. Arachnophile says:

    Agreed on the spay and neuter thing but while cats killing birds is “nature,” housecats are not native to most of the countries they are causing the most damage. In fact, they are a predator that has no natural correlation.

    Talk to conservationists in Australia or NZ about what a HUGE problem this is.

    One thing that would help would be responsible ownership and keeping them indoors.

  46. Arachnophile says:

    We are the ones responsible for the cats however. :) The equilibrium argument only goes so far. At some point we can acknowledge that there are things we could do BETTER. Sorry, on an ecological level it is not an acceptable loss for small animal species to be driven to the brink by my chosen animal friend.

    I do love my cat but I know what she is and the effect she would have on local wildlife if I let her outside.

    Feral populations are a huge problem. I understand completely why NZ is taking the stand they are concerning cats. I may hate that so many are destroyed but again, that is the fault of humans. Darn humans. ;)

  47. Arachnophile says:

    There are SEVERAL studies. I’ve read ones that impact on burrowing owls, among other species. It is a fact that cats have an impact on native animal populations and make significant dents in migratory bird species.

    Love my cat and love cats in general but they are a problem.

  48. Arachnophile says:

    agreed!

  49. TNR one at a time. says:

    Stuck my head in to harsh the buzz. Keep the cat inside, really? Not working, nowhere, no way. TNR, TNR, TNR. And oh yes I can get all righteous, cause I’m trapping tonight and spaying tomorrow. Be part of the solution. Save the birds by killing the cats? Crazy talk. Saving the birds by neutering the cats! Now that sounds sane & humane.

  50. I think he knocked this one outta the solar system….

  51. Oh please, i had a cat and the most dangerous prey she took down was Kleenix!!! She’d bounce around dragging her “kill” by her teeth, so proud of herself.

  52. What do you mean “in case”? Doubtless you mean “because”. They’re cats. They plot. We feed them so they can plot some more. The circle of life.

  53. Yeah, those humans. Can’t live with ‘em and ya can’t shoot ‘em, neither.

  54. Your name is intriguing, since I’m trying to appreciate arachnids. Got any pointers on how to learn to love a fat, hairy tarantula, par example? They can probably eat their weight in insects and still have room for more. I can’t seem to get past those hairy legs, though. Still trying.

  55. Tell the burrowing owl to go up a tree like everyone else. Not a problem.

  56. I have a study that shows that cats destroy sebenteen gazziion Kleenexes a year, They are going to vanish if we don’t do something!

  57. I woke up the other day to the cat making biscuits ON MY THROAT. Between that and the nightly smothering, I’m sure she’s going to do away with me in my sleep one of these nights.

  58. My born-blind kitty was a mighty hunter. She kept the house free of mice and flies, and even killed a rat that got in once. The thing was almost as big as she was. Luckily she was up on her shots. She was so mad when we took the dead rat away from her.

  59. Fird Birfle says:

    8-O

  60. I do not think it is “cute” when my cat kills. I have taken as many live mice away from my cat as she has killed and released them into the back yard. It is her instinct to do this so I don’t comdemn her for it. And as she stays strictly indoors, she’s not catching any songbirds or chasing down any rodents other than the ones who venture into my home. So you can get down off your soapbox and look to the humans who are cutting down trees and leveling nature preserves like the military recently did in Los Angeles.

  61. Gigi, I hear you and I’m on the soap box with you! It’s a huge “thing” in the UK; they are so adament about how it’s cruel to keep a cat in the house. I actually had someone from the UK try & tell me that outdoor cats were healthier and lived longer!!!
    Education, Education, Education.
    My 3 over-indulged cats stay inside unless I’m out in the yard with them (which is fenced in) and they are on leashes. Totally normal to them and to me.
    –stepping down from soap box!

  62. It has been suggested that during the years of the “Black Death”, many people would have been spared had the killing of cats as “witches” not been a prevalent activity across Europe. Ironic!

  63. oh sweetie ^^

  64. Massive coolness !!! I’m glad to know that something Disney-ish is not being bullied into submission by The Corporation!! YAY for those peeps (and the kittehs)!!!

    *pompoms into action*

  65. wot an impressive kitteh :)

  66. That is so true, Angel :)

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