Matilda Learns to Drive

“Check your mirrors… That’s it… Paws at two and ten o’clock, good… Now use your turn signal… No, those are the wipers, we’ll learn about those next week… Watch your drift here, you’re… OK, we can put that mailbox back later… No, don’t turn here, this is a… Watch your speed… Wait, the other pedal is the brake… (sigh) No, it’s all right, I’m sure plenty of liquor stores have a drive-through window…”

She must be a b***h to insure, Elizabeth S.



  1. “Now I can REALLY chase those cars!”

  2. She has the same deer-in-the-headlights look on her face that we all had when we had to do the driving part of the licensing test. 😯

  3. If he’s in Louisiana, he’s fine!

  4. You are so right AuntieBellum, I remember being so scared when I did the road test that I had the shakes!

  5. ThirdShift says:

    The amount of concentration on that face! He’s determined to get there!

  6. or florida 🙂

  7. skippymom says:

    I had to do my first one (yes, I failed) in BOSTON, where the streets are designed to be confusing and everyone drives as though they’re trying to kill everyone else. Fortunately I didn’t wet myself, but I believe some tears were shed.

  8. This puppy is on the other side of the pond! And cute to Boot! BWahahahahah!

  9. Ohhhh No I am in the Mod Lounge for saying the P word…. NOT that p word the other p word.

  10. I failed too. In a little podunk town. But I think my dad was more upset than me…

  11. skippymom says:

    Um, wait…are you guys saying it’s legal for dogs to drive in those states?

  12. I see your problem. The steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car!

  13. The reason I was doing it in the city was that my father had an “in” with the Registry and was able to schedule an appointment sooner than usual. I’m still mad at him for this.

  14. We’ve got drive-through daiquiri shops in Louisiana!

  15. 😯

  16. Matilda might want to take a lesson or two from Monty, Ginny and Porter!

  17. On a family vacation to Florida when I was about 10 years old, my dad took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up IN the city of Boston. It took him an hour to find his way out, and he asked directions twice!
    It was the first time I heard him curse; I learned a few new words that day.

  18. is there a canine equivalent to “Toonces! NOOO!” ??

  19. Only insane people drive in Boston. I can drive straight through it to get somewhere else, but for getting around the city I use public transportation only.

  20. But can dogs use them?

  21. Here is how you drive in Boston:
    1. turn signals are a sign of weakness
    2. street and speed limit signs are suggestions. (Although street signs and GPS unites are pretty useless… 🙂 )
    3. if you want to change lanes, just do so; people will get out of your way.
    4. Doggeh driving the car definitely helps!..unless he is wearing a Yankees shirt.

    I love that dirty water!

  22. Yes. It reminds me of Sheldon driving Penny to the hospital when she dislocated her arm while taking a bath. 😀

  23. What’s the other P word?

  24. Ann Arbor, MI has a drive through beer store.

  25. And in Boston, you never EVER want to let another driver into traffic.

  26. That. Is. Freaking. Fantastic!!! Woo hoo!!!

  27. Proger Pm*ller?

  28. pussy?

  29. Pshame?

  30. OMG you guys made my post so much better ROFLMAO.

  31. Okay these dogs Drive better than me! LOL!

  32. Nah, that one’s okay. Go figure.

  33. pussy, I mean

  34. SlaveToCat says:

    Matilda has that, “Did I just run over the Cat?????” look.

  35. SlaveToCat says:

    Boston is best enjoyed by walking, or using the T if absolutely necessary.

    You can drive if you only have days left on a terminal illness and have an overly insured rental car with a snow plow attached to the front.

  36. Oh…Pr0n?

  37. Yeah, I just thought it would be funny to say in this situation. Sh*me! Cuc*mber!

  38. pron

  39. gr*pefruit c*cktail!

  40. The driver ed guy,got mad that I couldn’t see over the wheel of the car,NOR touch the peddles.Its not my fault I’m 4ft 7!

    But people on the highway,freaked out when they though the car was driving itself.

  41. Driving in Boston is a contact sport. And if you don’t get out of my way fast enough, I’ll give you the “Boston Wave.”

  42. warrior rabbit says:

    If they’re at least 3, skippymom.

  43. warrior rabbit says:

    Not anymore! Site says “Don’t believe the vintage “Drive Thru” sign though! They made us close the drive thru, but that means we can stock that much more beer, wine, and spirits for your pleasure. “

  44. Well, that’s a bummer. I was just there in August.

  45. phred's mom says:

    Boston drivers emigrated from
    North Jersey, I believe, but left
    relatives here. Viz. rte 287
    during rush hour. Gack!

  46. phred's mom says:

    So does Doylestown, PA.
    Got my Guiness there.

  47. fleurdamour says:

    Anyoen can use ’em if they got cash.

  48. victoreia says:

    @warrior rabbit: is that “three years old” or “three dogs in the car”?

  49. That’s sheets to the wind, Victoreia

  50. Where’s Fird? We could use her excellent list-making skilz to list all those phrases/words that toss us into the Mod lounge. Would be handy if we wanted to join the party. For example, I did not know thar gr*pe c*cktail was one of the secret words–tho now, looking at it, it’s pretty obvious. But howcum the word for young dog will get you in, but the slang for cat doesn’t? Don’t tell me the Mod Gods are arbitrary! Noooooooo!

  51. Ha ha ha! I’m in the Mod lounge! Ironic. Mmmmm artichoke dip ‘n sourdough bread. That’ll hold me ’til the Swedish meatballs are ready.

  52. Probably still drives better than me.

  53. The instructor must be old-school – nowadays, the proper position of the paws should be at 9 and 3, to protect the snout from being impacted by the arms should the airbag deploy.

    Being old-school myself, I am having a heck of a time keeping my own personal paws at 9 and 3.

  54. Puppeh made me think of this:

  55. I passed. By one point. Out of my parents’ seven children I was the only one to pass on the first try.

  56. I read “On a family vacation IN Florida” and was amazed that your dad could get so lost as to end up in Boston.

  57. pupfanatic says:

    Mathilda- don’t do it, try and drive straight to your nearest AA meeting. Puppeh drunk driving is becoming an epidemic!

  58. This is unacceptable! MY Mini didn’t include a cute canine chauffeur!

  59. Ohio is full of drive thru liquor stores. They are often called pony kegs.

  60. Dog looks terr-ee-fied!