Your How-to Guide to Shoplifting

For novice shoplifters, it is important to establish an alibi in case one is caught. For example, allowing the merchandise to attach itself to you, rather than pocketing it yourself, can create an element of plausible deniability.

(Note: Some content at source website may be NSFW.)


  1. Usually I have no interest in illegal activities…but this lil’ guy/ gal sure has an effect of delinquentizing me …..

  2. SlaveToCat says:

    I guess the prosecutor would classify this as an Armed Robbery.

  3. Caught red-handed!

  4. Peanutcat says:

    Yeah, but which one you gonna charge?

  5. The Original Jane says:

    Proof that kitties pick their human owners.

  6. Yep :D

  7. rescue gal says:

    Adopt don’t shop.

  8. Could be an in-store adoption sponsored by a shelter—I always have to avert my eyes from the Kitty Adoption Center at PetCo when picking up crunchies and kitty litter for my 3 boys. Happy assumptions that people are doing the right thing.

  9. :D That is how I ended up with my 2 newest tabbehs. I heard a kitten mewing and as soon as I looked over and made eye contact…well… 2 new cats! :D
    Local rescue organization was having an adoption event. I am so lucky I went to Petco that day! Got two tabbeh brothers and they are wonderful!

  10. AWW :) I am so glad to hear that you are able to give two tabby kitties a loving forever home, Saffron :)

  11. You made eye contact? What a suckah! :) (said in the most loving way possible)

    And I’d never be able to walk away from a kitteh scampering up my arm like that. That’s when you know that God (or whatever you believe in) is delivering a message and you must obey.

  12. I got my budgies at a shelter (and don’t need more birds!), but every time I get some bird supplies at petco/petsmart (always mix those up) I make eye contact with the huge cage of budgies. They seem well cared for enough… and I’d rather support adoption than store-raised pets… but they are so cute and OMG I NEED THEM ALL.

    Seriously, I’m worried one day I’m gonna go crazy and buy all the budgies. It’s a vicious circle: want to snorgle and liberate the pet shop animals but don’t want to promote the breeding of more animals for pet shop sales. An animal lovers dilemma …

  13. warrior rabbit says:

    I got my rescue kitty from Petco via an organization that housed them there. I went for rabbit litter, came home with a kitten.

  14. How did your rabbit(s) feel about that?

  15. warrior rabbit says:

    They like each other, for the most part. We’re waiting for the cat to calm down a little. She does groom her big sister on occasion, which is met with rabbity approval.

  16. we need pictures of this!!!!

  17. Yay for Petco! Our local Petco features two cats at a time from our county shelter, and I go check on them and clean the cages every Monday after work!

  18. skippymom says:

    Yay ceejoe!!!

  19. Tineeee tuxie!!!! My weakest of weak spots. *splort*

  20. Clawsible deniability

  21. For the win!!!

  22. MOST EXCELLENT MEM sahib :)

  23. HAHA that is too funny!

  24. Kitteh: “Ehn! Ehn! Ehn!!! Ehn!!! Okay! We go home now, yes??”

  25. noellesbootcutkittenpants says:

    I ended up with a Meezer kitten in much this way many years ago.

  26. I doubt any court in the land would convict you! This is definitely a case of TOKDI (The other kitty did it!)

  27. I followed you home, can you keep me?

  28. Fird Birfle says:


  29. Coffee Cup (now with more bunnies) says:

    Well, we’re movin on up
    To the east side
    To a deluxe arm on a blonde child

    We finally got a piece catnip pie

  30. 4leafclover says:

    Hilarious!! “To a deluxe arm on a blonde child”–so funny!!

  31. victoreia says:

    *falls down laughing*

    P.S. Thanks for that earworm, Coffee Cup! It doesn’t quite work with “The Circle of Life”…..

  32. In Russia, merchandise shoplifts you!

  33. groan

  34. YAY I luv dees.

  35. Now how can you resists a sale pitch like this.

  36. warrior rabbit says:

    I has a sad because some of my Internet kitty friends are very sick — Tuxedo Stan and Oliver Donovan. Maybe if the CO community sends its magics their way… [sniff]

  37. AWW :( I hope that Tuxedo Stan and Oliver Donovan will be okay real soon :(

  38. kibblenibble says:

    Me, too, WR. I am worrying and sending love their way, also. :-(

  39. Oh hon, I’m so sorry. I’ll send some warm and healing thoughts their way.

  40. skippymom says:

    Oliver seems to be doing better today. If you go on Facebook you can contribute to his medical bills, too.

  41. Ketteh to the cashier : “Oh it’s o.k., I’m with her !”

  42. Queen of Dork says:

    Well, whatever the case may be, obviously, this kitten has picked out this human to forever serve him/her. If this happened to me, there is absolutely NO way I would go home without taking that kitten with me. And I would happily be bossed about by it forever.


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