Live from the Snowball-Flinging Finals!

“… and as we enter the second half, it looks like the star player of this game has got to be Zach Zifkin, the unstoppable goalie for the Toledo Tabbies.”


“Right you are, Bob. From out of nowhere, it’s just been one spectacular catch after another from this phenomenal rookie who — whoa, another amazing save by Zifkin!


“You said it, Stu. He’s already the league leader in returns this season, so this kid’s really going places. Zifkin putting the snowball back in play now…”


“… and Zifkin blocks the goal again, with a perfect diving catch! I have never seen such powerful snowball control in my twenty years of broadcasting!”


“I agree, Stu, and this definitely puts Zifkin on the shortlist for MVP. But not just for catching, but also for his powerful throws back onto midfield, like this one here…”


“Right, Bob. It’s Zifkin’s pinpoint aim that enables… Uh-oh, he hit the referee! Yes, Zifkin has pasted the ref, and so he’s ejected from the game. Tough luck, Zifkin.”


via Cold Sleeper.

Comments

  1. Aww! :-)

  2. HAW!

  3. ded from the hovertext descent into chaos and madness!

  4. Funniest hovertexts ever!!!!!!

  5. Whatever am I going to do with elebenty billion cans of SPAM now?

  6. Haven’t we all wanted to deck the referee at least one, though?

  7. And the crowd squees!

  8. I. LOVE. NTMTOM.

  9. Me too. The line forms here —–>

  10. Best hovertexts of all time.

  11. particularly the penultimate one

  12. I think NTMTOM either forgot his meds today or took a double dose by mistake! Mike, you are OFF THE CHARTS funny!

  13. KItten has very serious game face on.

  14. “tormented denizens of a bleak dystopian hellscape?”

    Wow, and I thought soccer/hockey moms were bad.

  15. I didn’t look at the byline but when the crowd went insane I suspected NTMTOM.
    By the time the crowd started to stockpile weapons I was certain it was him and I was laughing out loud :lol:

  16. Fo shizzle!

  17. I used to know this crazy guy, and one day when we were hanging out he said to me “You take meds too, right?” and when I gave him a funny look he quickly said, “I mean, you take vitamins, right?” with kind of a wink like hush hush, our secret.
    I think Mike took extra VITAMINS today.

  18. Thankfully, I don’t take a lot of medications, just some ginkgo biloba to improve my memory. Also, some ginkgo biloba to improve my memory.

  19. Did you just say s’thing, Mike?? :)

  20. BWA HA HA TO INFINITY AND BEEEEEYOND

    also the kitteh and the photographicalness ain’t too shabby neither

    *base instincts, clawing, etc*

    *giggle*

  21. I suspect that Mike might have experienced either an unwarranted childhood lacking in maternal cuddliness; or possibly a course in Outrageux Litterature en Francais de Marcel Proust et de Sartre….

    (and I’m CERTAIN that he’s familiar with Ernie Kovacs!!!!)

  22. I’m such a book nerd that other than an obligatory one or two high school, then later college football games (Homecoming, probably)….I’ve never been to many events needing referees ….never mind having participated in with the team(s)….

    *adjusts cat’s-eye spectacles on neckchain*

  23. Years ago a friend’s father asked her to get him some ginkgo because he had read about it (we worked in a health food store at the time, which is also where the above-mentioned crazy guy used to hang out). When she gave it to him he couldn’t remembe why he had asked her for it.

  24. *singsong voice*

    As if the Uber-hovertexts weren’t certifiably insane,

    I just noticed the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllll

  25. skippymom — that’s precious!!! Only one question.

    are you sure, that this wasn’t YOUR father?? WHO are you protecting, maam???

    *looks at you sternly like in a scene from CSI*

    (*blu-BLUNK* drama notes play in the background)

  26. but, loribelle?? Are you REALLY ded or do you only think that life is ultimately meaningless chaos, ending in dust in the wind???

    (you’re welcome for the Kansas earworm)

  27. Boing boing boing. Goaaaaaal goooal gooooal! And the USA wins!

  28. You are right; I could now co-star in that fransche video about the cat Henri and his ennui. Le Sigh.

  29. I wonder if they chose that background or if was just coincidence that the background really sets off that fur.

  30. That or binge watching The Walking Dead.

  31. Clairdelune says:

    I cannot believe that NOBODY else noticed the splayed wicked little pawsie or the kissable black spot on the nosicle! All that, and a talented snowball player too… oh yes, I’m ded. *curling up with furry blanky*

  32. Clairdelune says:

    Ernie Kovacs? Fird, you just revealed your ancient age… :-D

  33. Emmberrann says:

    NTMTOM, aherm, is spozed to be a-makin’ that ther’ coffee table book, a-which we bin a-waitin’ fer, fer a lowng tahm. Waal, NTMTOM? We got a publishin’ date yet? Or, how’bout a plain ol’ date date?
    Oh, and yes, that ther’ is a turble qte kitteh-bebeh, who looks ta be fa’rly INtense.

  34. The Original Jane says:

    No, no, NO people – it’s…TETHERBALL!!!!! Don’t you remember your childhood on the school playground? Gaaa! I haven’t thought of that in eons.

  35. Nano's mom says:

    Thank you, I missed that, thought all the laughing was through, and took a sip of water. THEN I read the url.

  36. I’m next!!!

  37. gimme gimme gimme!!! The book, I mean – awaiting it with bated breath.

  38. *blink* *blink*

    wot’s a “ball” ??????

    signed,
    shifty eyes…..

  39. NOMTOM, I have to say, you really remind me of my favorite author, Terry Pratchett. These picture captions are so similar to what he writes, and I love it!

    That said…can anybody help me convince my hubby and my Bostie to let me adopt a kitty?

  40. It’s similar to what guys say when they’ve been spotted “reading” Playboy magazine: I READ about (and actually, found a marvelous video compilation once upon a time)

    actual surreal tidbits altho fairly sanitary & whitewashed …

    but yeh. I’m an EK geek!!!! I think I read somewhere, too , that the Python Crowd
    admired his stuff. He did predate them by perhaps 10 yrs or so ….

  41. As a confoimed book woim mahself, Ahs gots to say that I wanna be an Offishul Scorer for a baseball team!!!!! Books and baseball. Life. Would. Be. Good.

  42. Well said, Skippymom! Definitely better than me! No offense was meant to Mike or, VITAMIN-taking Overloaders! :)

  43. How did you even GET that much SPAM?

  44. AWW :D Zach Zifkin is such a cutie that I want to cuddle and snorgle :D