Police Blotter for 9/30/2012

2:23 PM: Officers arrived at library to find Mrs. Elsie Flanwhacker shredding magazines she said promoted “immoral hairstyles.” Officers served her with warrant for past shredding offenses, which she shredded. En route to lockup, Mrs. Flanwhacker shredded back seat of patrol car. During booking, Mrs. Flanwhacker shredded the ledger, the duty roster, and Sgt. Spinetti’s dress uniform. She then refused to sign confession. Which she shredded.


You bring shame upon us all, Mrs. Flanwhacker.

Comments

  1. musicfoodbeerbikes says:

    Sorry, but the name The Shredder is already taken by some dude in the Ninja Turtles…

  2. I have to BOOP that nose. Such a guilty little face.

  3. Oh da shame, da poor puppy.. even little button nose looks Mbarrassed.

  4. my paper shredder doesn’t look like this.

  5. bookmonstercats says:

    Mrs Elsie Flanwhacker is one fiesty doll. Sgt. Spinetti, on the other hand, has my full sympathy.

  6. soon as I saw the name, I new it was a NTMTOM piece

  7. Mike does the best ones, in my opinion :-)

  8. As a library professional I can tell you the Flanwhackers of this world are our worst nightmare. :p

  9. Inspector Columbo says: “Hmm,…no toothprints….”

  10. How did they get Mrs. Flanwhacker to sit still for her mugshot when there was something to be shredded available. For that matter, how did they keep her from shredding the mugshot?

    (yes I know it was probably digital, work with me here. It coulda been a Polaroid or Kodachrome or something)

  11. I say she’s innocent…. contrary to some very compelling evidence. :)

    Oh, and BOOP!!!!

  12. Poor puppeh, they don’t understand that you’re only trying to protect them from the vile paper monsters.

  13. That is an unrepentant look right there—“yes, I did it–and I’d do it again!”.

  14. Pssst, tracylee! *in a whisper* That’s why we keep talkin’ about the NTMTOM coffee table book. Just FYI, ya know? *in a normal voice @NTMTOM* Well, NTMTOM, how’s the book coming along?

  15. “That stuff is dangerous, you know!!!!”

  16. Fird Birfle says:

    here ya go, BB/VA :) :

  17. Fird Birfle says:

    Also is ennybuddy else revelling in the fact that
    the pupOsh@me, here even managed to SHRED THE DOCUMENTATION
    DECLARING the sh@meful deeds which brought him/ her to this moment ?????

    *giggle*

  18. Yes! I keep lookin’ for a petition to sign! I’ll take two books, please…

  19. two very enthusiastic thumbs up

  20. Paper shmaper, look at pup o’ shame’s stance: 2nd position (in ballet.) Love when their front feeties are poimentantly in that position.

  21. NTMTOM – classic. I love eets. And Mrs Flanwhacker is scrumptious.

  22. That name, so NTMTOM!

  23. Fird Birfle says:

    :) YAY Paul Simon!!!!

  24. Oh my! What a cutie! So adorable! I would adopt it in a heartbeat, no matter how much it shreds! hee hee! :)

  25. POLICE ARE LYING. DO THE RESEARCH.

    Will gladly defend this young pup against the system. Into my arms for our hourly counsel meeting :)

  26. I think we have to say this: This is clearly racially motivated. Who would accuse such a perfect citizen?

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