No, Mr. Bond…

(Strokes chin thoughtfully with tail)…I expect you to die!

Reddit submish by Kronson, and totally stole borrowed the 007 bit from commentator “Joe The Bob.”


  1. skippymom says:

    Kitty is sending a weirdly mixed message: sitting in a totally exhibitioinist position, but using Advanced Modesty Tail.

  2. It’s Schizophrenigenic Kitty!

    (OK, that’s for a VERY small audience.)

  3. I LOL’ed! :D

  4. Larger than you think!

  5. Apparently!

  6. An edjumicated audience. :P

  7. I can’t send a submission, I get an error message :( But Montreal now enjoys cute baby lynx:


  9. And the ears are in High Alert Position.

  10. “I don’t always use a modesty tail . . . but when I do, I tuck it under my chin.”

  11. He’s the Most Interesting Cat in the World…

  12. HAW

  13. You know what? I just brought my watch in to the jeweler for repairs. He’s a cute little German guy with the best accent. Anyway, I explained the problem I was having – my watch wasn’t sounding right. The sound it was making was “tick tick tick tick.”

    The jeweler took the watch and looked it over. Finally, as he opened the watch up, he said, “Vell…we haff vays of making you tock.”

  14. Robin Kiesel says:


  15. Fird Birfle says:

    *applause for RPB’s German/ Austrian watch- repairman joke*

  16. groan! :D

    No Mr. Bond I expect you to die..right after you bring me noms and scratch my ears.

  17. :lol: I would of had my head on the counter GIGGLING so hard after hearing that, Rosemary ‘Pennefeather’ Blegen :lol:

  18. I’m bettin’ this kitty was washin’ his butt just before the photo was taken. Just sayin…..

  19. Ahem. We proud members of the Pearl-Clutching and Euphemism-Creating Society ask that you refer to that . . . particular activity as “playing the cello.”


  21. bookmonstercats says:

    Not going to get through the next choral society orchestral performance with a straight face……

  22. :lol: I will have to remember that, Juno :lol:

  23. Blue Footed Booby says:

    “personal grooming”

  24. Apparently I was not playing the cello correclty when I was in orchestra.

  25. Fird Birfle says:

    YAY for Kar’s observation!!!

  26. Mary (the first) says:

    To the relief of all audience members….

  27. Emmberrann says:

    Never heard that one before, Juno, but somehow, it’s peculiarly apt! In utter woids, I loffs eet! May I steal that for future a propos use? *Tucks phrase into brain…*

  28. Hey, I stole it from someone else, so help yourself!

  29. What do you think this cat could be thinking?

  30. Emmberrann says:

    Is thinking, “This ************ hoomin can’t resist taking pictures at the most inopportune times! Can’t wait until I am posed in all my glorious elegance – my whiteness immaculate and sleeked, my paws delicately crossed, my Nefertiti neck perfectly balancing my beeeeeyoooootiful head and face….. Lemme at them! I shall teach them a pointy-end lesson they will not forget!”

  31. Hmmm; didn’t there used to be a white Persian cat in this scenario;
    (Purrhaps she has gone Hollywood and commands a salary way beyond this photo-op’s budget…..) :roll:

  32. This kitty is in a classic mid-grooming “I left the iron on” freeze. Mine does it all the time. He’ll be all “lick lick lick– WAIT! OMG!— lick lick lick.”


  33. Christabel says:

    This is a popular position among grey and white tabbies. My Connie does this all the time.

  34. I see that your Connie–like my marmie, Jack–likes to have a nice warm paw curled around her nose.

  35. Christabel says:

    It must be nice to have a built-in soft little eye mask.

  36. ooo, good call must feex

  37. bookmonstercats says:

    One cannot have too many encores…….. especially with witty varyashuns.

  38. Cats get themselves into the goofiest positions!

  39. fleurdamour says:

    When Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset…PEOPLE DIE!!

  40. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh, Crap.

  41. SlaveToCat says:

    Don’t look at me like that.
    I wasn’t dragging my butt across the white linen table cloth, honest I wasn’t..
    Oh by the way cut back on the starch.

  42. Queen of Dork says:

    Haha! Slave To Cat, you just reminded me of my best friend, Fat Albert when I was a little kid! He used to do this thing where he would sort of be in a sitting position but with his tail straight out behind him and his back and front legs kind of scrambling about on the floor as he dragged/scraped (?) his butt across the carpet! It was so funny! Me and my sister would crack up at that and imitate it. Albert was healthy and all but he just used to like to scratch his butt on the carpet like that! :) Has anybody else seen a dog or cat do this??

  43. Hi Queenie! My little Mimi used to put her front paws in shoe boxes, and push them around the floor. It looked like sledding.

  44. loribelle57 says:

    That often means poor doggie’s anal glands are clogged.

  45. Our (my brother, his male friend and me) cat, Dooley, was rubbing his bum on the carpet because the fur on his poor bum was matted up with you-know-what :( We had to take poor Dooley to the vet who Dooley hissed and growled at while the vet cleaned poor Dooley’s bum :(

  46. Am I the only one who always gently grabs kitty cat tails, waves the end in front of their noses, and says “Got yer tail?”

  47. Maybe…*shifty eyes*…Who wants to know?

  48. Mary (the first) says:

    Heck no. And sometimes when the cat yawned I would put my finger in her mouth just to watch the consternation when she closed down on something instead of air. But all gently and with love, of course.

  49. noellesbootcutkittenpants says:

    No, I would never do that…*equally shifty eyes*

  50. victoreia says:

    Um…. *frantically shoves halo back on head* No?

  51. Queen of Dork says:

    Gosh dang it. I’m in the lounge. I said something horrid.

    *hangs head in shame. heads over to buffet table full of pizza and beer and french fries. loads up plate*

  52. Queen of Dork says:

    crap. my comment about being in mod is in mod.

  53. Q of D: Having been in that situation many times, I commiserate. But, more importantly, I’m sending in Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits for you to nom! :-)

  54. Queen of Dork says:

    I love those! Thanks! (nom nom nom nom)


    ‘scuse me

  55. *passes QoD a nice cold lemonade*

  56. bookmonstercats says:

    Kitty thinks he is the snow leopard.

    I don’t mind.

  57. Another morning, another kitty yoga session.

  58. Caught it!!! Finally!!! now what?


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