What If This Guy Was The 5 PM News Anchor?

Well, hi there, everybody! I’m Totally Cute and thanks so much for joining me tonight. There is some pretty bad news out there. (Pause) But I’m not gonna tell you about it because that would be sad. So, here’s the good news:

Gladys Penington from Burlington, North Carolina found her purse! She lost it in Simon’s Pharmacy, but was returned by a fellow patron with all of her belongings in tact.

Jonathon Tabby rescued and adopted four adorable kittens in Las Vegas, Nevada. Jonathon and his new found family are very happy and extremely playful.

And Finally, Asher, the 14 year old standard poodle, learned a new trick! Proving that age has nothing to do with your ability to learn and grow.

We’ll be right back after this short nap sponsored by Worthstar, so stay tuned for more uplifting news.



  1. Further proof that the networks are using younger anchors to compete with cable. Obvious stunt casting.

  2. Perfect for See Ehn Ehn

  3. Bwaa ha ha! Good one, lindy.

  4. “I’m hear”? Try again. (I expect many mishearings from tiny panda ears.)

  5. Heather says:

    Answer: I would actually watch the news. 🙂

  6. Jimbeaux says:

    I want a good news panda to read off good, positive news every day! I think we could all use it!

  7. 260Oakley says:

    That is some of the cutest news “foot”age I’ve seen in a long time.

  8. Finally. A news anchor who isn’t “panda”ering to the doom and gloom crowd. If this little guy was spouting the news, I would be completely up-to-date with current events.

  9. skippymom says:

    But that is his HAND.

  10. 260Oakley says:

    Sigh. You say paw-tayto and I say paw-tahto. 😉

  11. I’d watch the news every night if this guy was the talking head! The 4:30, 5:00, 6:00, 10:00 and the 11:00 news casts! And I might even get up early to watch the morning news! (Okay, that’s a lie. Not even for Mr. Cutie Pandapants will I get up early…)

  12. I LOVE THIS – I will tune in every day to get some Good News Reporting – especially from such a cutie anchor.

  13. fleurdamour says:

    Hai five.

  14. fleurdamour says:

    Station P.N.D.A. – Positive News of the Day America

  15. Good evening, I’m Morley Cuter and this is the news.

  16. pinkmariposas says:

    I needed my happy place and here it is! What a sweet lil panda.

  17. Scooterb62 says:

    Wasn’t this guy originally on NPR — National Panda Radio?

  18. Mamabear says:

    OMG me too! Look, CO, i know that you have nothing better to do than to dedicate your life to making ours so much happier, so, in your spare time will you please start an offshoot news website of ONLY happy things like the above items?

    Thanks in advance. 😀

  19. Mamabear says:

    I am ever amazed at your wordsmithery Oakley. You absolutely blow my mind with your ability to do that!

  20. Ali-Baba says:

    Yes he was! He was a guest host on Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me! 😉

  21. 6rabbits says:

    I would totally watch this channel! 🙂 Where do I sign up?

  22. Ah’d never change the channel or turn off the telly!

  23. Fird Birfle says:


  24. Fird Birfle says:

    Scooterb62 and fleurd’amour BOTH win today!! It’s a Tie.

  25. HOO-RAY……Burlington NC, not too far from my home! And I would SO watch this guy on the news (way, way better than some of our local news anchors and our market is in the top 50 of the US).
    All good news and happy stories should be shared by cute little pandas or puppies or bunnies or hedgies or……oh just anything cute. More pics please!

  26. Rachael says:

    I’d watch anything this little guy was reporting. But only if he agreed to do the news from his fuzzy blankie. 🙂

  27. Fird Birfle says:

    this is an excellent point. The bwue fuzzy bwankie really
    *DOES* add a certain something, to his air of truth & integrity in journalism …..

  28. *thud*