Try New HamTrex Nighttime Formula!

Dosage: One spoonful of HamTrex™ Nighttime Formula before bedtime. For occasional use only as directed. Side effects may include itching, scaling, dry mouth, bed head, morning breath, memory loss, memory loss, tennis elbow, brain freeze, the heebie jeebies, memory loss, the rockin’ pneumonia and/or the boogie woogie flu, an uncontrollable urge to describe all objects as “iddy biddy cutie wootie” regardless of size, and memory loss. If HamTrex Nighttime Formula supplicates itself before you, as if begging the tender mercies of a vengeful god, discontinue use.

Original post here, from back when I was first getting weird in the comments section.



  1. … In the most dee-lightful way!

  2. Fird Birfle says:

    “memory loss ….memory loss….memory loss….”

    I count that pyrit lost ‘er/ ‘is mem’ry at least twice. Anybody see more???

  3. Whose memory? 😉 (might want to check the byline.)

  4. Too funny! That last sentence and the hovertext slay me, NTMTOM!

  5. nomtom, did that way-back-when post signal the start of something beautiful or what!

    someone (Theo, mayb?) said he looked loaded up on a catapult (weee!) – how about a hamapult?

  6. Fird Birfle says:


    (sowwy, Mike).

    Beet-red in tha face.

    *Related: one of my friends who IS CLEVAIRE, wrote me recently and
    in her letter, she commented, “If I had a brain, my head would weigh more.”

  7. CrankyAmy says:

    So, NTMTOM, did you ever answer Theo as to what you do for a day job?

  8. In 2006 I was unemployed and bored. Explains a lot, doesn’t it? 🙂

  9. Just a spoonful of hammie helps the medicine go down
    In a most delightful way….

  10. JohnnyJohnny says:

    This looks like a good remedy. Can HamTrex™ also be used for sudden on-set blow-hole?

  11. The Original Jane says:

    This SOOOOO applies to me right now. I wish getting rid of the insomnia was this easy (and cute)!

  12. And has that situation changed? Inquiring minds want to know! I presume you are a writer, but I may be wrong…

  13. Martha in Washington says:

    Wait a minute…what are the side effects again? I forget.

  14. DARN ! I forgot what I was gonna say !

  15. 260Oakley says:

    Maybe you could try Hambien?

  16. Theresa says:

    Ohhh, what an iddy-biddy-cutie-wootie. Wait, where am I?

  17. wannadance says:

    mike is all things to all people but don’t yall gals fergit he is basically MINE..even if i am basically blind…

    tender mercies! mike, ah love yew. lost yer addy, try to ketch up to me, had to change mine. so it’s here…

    yer dancer

  18. lds7yrs says:

    All right, I’m already experiencing most of the side effects… but I definitely did NOT get my dose of Ham Trex. THAT I would have remembered!

  19. wannadance says:

    FOR THE WIN…as usual…good to see you and read you..

    hambien,l oh indeed..been watching ‘the wire’ again, love that omar. wait, brittle nails, is that in there.

  20. what a lovely, nostalgic post

  21. 6rabbits says:

    FEETZ!!!! the derwa wittle anerable FEETZ!!! EARS!! the nommable EARSIES!!!
    SQUEEEE!!! …………..Noooo, that is NOT a teeny bump in my pocket!!
    Quit being nosy! *stalks off in high dudgeon, surreptitiously cradling said pocket*

  22. 6rabbits says:

    P.S. This is a baby gerbil…just saying… 🙂

  23. of course he’s a writer… he’s working on our coffee table book… (right??)

  24. The Original Jane says:

    Hambien I would go for. 🙂 That would be a LOT better than Ambien – read up on that one and you’ll stay far away! It’s getting off another drug that’s causing the insomnia. Sigh. Don’t ever let a doctor put you on a benzo!

  25. edmundh says:

    Hammee or Gerbil, I think he has fallen asleep on the spoon.

  26. victoreia says:


  27. victoreia says:


  28. “I’m already experiencing most of the side effects,,,”

    Doesn’t everybody?

  29. fleurdamour says:

    It’s the spoon from the Mad Hatter’s tea party. It’s also the famous techno act Ham and Spoon.

  30. Fird Birfle says:

    Is that in any way related to being Asleep on the Job ???

  31. still waiting…. [tapping fingers on empty coffee table]

  32. Fird Birfle says:

    [wonders, when the glass tabletop will shatter….]

  33. Benzos are nasty little things. Might try a compounding pharmacy so you can wean off in little baby steps. Been there with my son. wasn’t pretty. Or take a spoonful of HamTrex. I’m sure that will work!

  34. Fleurdamour says:

    PS – Cuteness Rule 1,987,331 – If you are small enough to sleep in a spoon, it’s cute.

  35. Hey NTMTOM, What a way to network yourself into the PERFECT job! Thank you, Teho, for bringing him aboard!

    BTW, Mike, how is your mom, if you don’t mind my asking? I hope her spirits have improved!

  36. The Original Jane says:

    I’m off now but my nerve receptors won’t settle down yet. I read it can take months or a year. :0 I’ll take a HamTrex, thank you. Glad someone else understands.