Have We Got Bad News For You

Thanks for the weather, Biff. Now the local headlines.

Spectacular back-to-back super moon and solar eclipse enthrall thousands!

In other news, police are baffled by recent spate of widespread disorderly behaviour.

Our cuteporter is on the scene:


Because I’m bad, I’m bad…


You know it, (really, really bad)


Yes, I’m bad, I’m bad,


Come on, you know I’m bad,


Really, really bad,


Yes, I’m bad, bad, bad.


Bad, bad, really bad,


And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again, Who’s Bad . . , Mary L.?

Comments

  1. skippymom says:

    I absolutely lurve all of these pictures, because they are STINKING funny and because they make me feel much less BAD about how messy my house is.

  2. skippymom says:

    Also, picture 6: CALICO!!!

  3. Theresa says:

    “Aaaaaaaaa!”
    “Aaaaaaaaaaaa!”
    Aaaaaaaaaa!”

  4. Oh Em GEE!!! These are just hilarious. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but the hovertexts on the beagle and on the last photo just slay me. Guffawed out loud on those! :D
    So hilarious Pyrit! I have to say, the pup with the cone just looks so forlorn. Sweet.

  5. And seriously. Who would put plants on a table in front of a window in a house with cats!?!

  6. CO Lurker says:

    Can I add one more for review? My favorite hockey team, the Caps, played a ridiculous triple overtime game and when one of the players got home at 2 am, he found this:

    http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2012/05/04/karl-alzner-explains-why-his-dogs-trashed-his-home/

  7. Wow! That makes our cats look like perfect little angels… Too funny!

  8. Kelly D. says:

    As a dog groomer and perennial westie lover, my fave was the westie pup.
    It’s true…

    YOU DON’T MESS WITH WESTIES. WESTIES MESS WITH YOU!! :)

  9. skippymom says:

    I’m reminded of the time my mother had made a chocolate cake and left it on the counter while we went out to do an errand. When we got back, all that was left were a few crumbs and our dog Oscar was looking fat and guilty. My mother was so angry that she couldn’t remember what species Oscar was. She screamed at him “You Bas*ard Cat!!!” My brother and I busted a gut trying not to laugh because we knew she would kill us.

  10. That teddy bear/beagle one is just killing me. People in the next cube want to know my problem and why i’m laughing.

  11. Picture 4: wonder which came first, the cone of shame or the destruction…

  12. Ooh, haven’t been to the mod lounge in a while! I’ll be over at the sun chaise sipping a strawberry margarita.

  13. baaaahhahahhaha
    oh pobre cone-wearing perrito… you’re my favorite

  14. Cats are so passive aggressive….

  15. skippymom says:

    I’m still in moderation on two posts, so I’ll join you with a gin and tonic in hand.

  16. OMG Pyrit! You are so freakin’ funny! I’m not even kidding.

    The usage of “Bad” should not be this funny after 20+ years. But it totally is. I’m scrolling up and down laughing, reading and laughing!

  17. oooh who’s makin’ G&Ts? Can I join in?

  18. victoreia says:

    I’m just gonna quote George Takei here…. Oh Myyyyyyyyyy!

  19. Our houses are NOT messy. they are lived in. :)

  20. REALLY lived in

  21. Orcgirl says:

    #3 and #6 are exactly why plants are not allowed in my house!

  22. Orcgirl says:

    ^^^this! He lurvs his bear.

  23. Lol! My personal reaction, had the 4th and last pic happened to me, would be significantly more dramatic. Like a scream heard around the world.

  24. CO Lurker, I saw this too! I just LOVE the fact that the little guy is so happily wagging his tail that it is a blur in the photo. Such a proud little guy “Look what I did Daddy!!” LOL

  25. HA!!

  26. Robin McKiernan Kiesel says:

    LOVINGLY lived in

  27. victoreia says:

    ….along with the chewed-up leaves, and the green kitty vomit all over the house….

  28. Melissa says:

    I love how most of ‘em are all…. What???

  29. dgerish says:

    Those plants WERE asking for it! They totally had it coming!

  30. Lipstick6 says:

    And THAT is why I don’t have a dog. lol

  31. Fird Birfle says:

    1. It made my heart sing, when pyrit’s storyline
    referred to Biff on the evening news.

    2. Michael (J) would be so proud.
    2. LOVE the cats’ inner dialogue, re. the Stupid Plants. SO cat-ty & so accurate.

  32. Fird Birfle says:

    I know, right?

    Like, “you tawkin’, ta ME???”

  33. I read that as a “grin and tonic.” I don’t know what a grin and tonic would be, but I’d like to try one! Now if I could only get myself into the mod lounge…

  34. Annette says:

    Having had a beagle growing up, I’m not at all surprised to see beagles appear twice in this photoset.

    One night when my parents were out, my sister and I thought the house was quiet…almost TOO quiet. We went to check on what the dog was up to — and found our parents’ bedroom covered in little bits of yellow paper. He’d torn up the thick Brooklyn Yellow Pages from A through E. We laughed hysterically and began the cleanup.

    Our dog seemed quite proud of his accomplishment.

  35. Fird Birfle says:

    @ victoreia:
    I always thought green kitty vomit was included with the sale or rental of
    all houses.

    Isn’t it???

  36. Fird Birfle says:

    Is or did anyone else, orient to the tune, and sing the subsequent lines, while reading pyrit’s text of them??

  37. Fird Birfle says:

    Is this new news?? ;)

  38. Fird Birfle says:

    “ooooooooooooooooooooooooo skippymom’s in TRUBBle……”

    (I’m feeling a bit braver, now that the whole Kittyfoodgate tempest has subsided….)

  39. Fird Birfle says:

    Kar — don’t show the pic to the people in Cubicle Two.

    Leave ‘em ponderin’ ….

  40. victoreia says:

    I’ve usually gotten pink or brown kitty vomit, not green. Certainly is -ah, “entertaining” to discover on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night….

  41. Fird Birfle says:

    oh skippymom now THAT would deserve some serious Anger Mgmt Therapy for me.

    You go through all the babying to make a whole cake and WOT THA (bleep)?????

    That dog — er– cat — er….. is/ was lucky he didn’t “fall off the pier” that day.

    (my mom had a moderately similar experience but nowhere near as character-building as the wanton destruction of a cake. Her thing, that day, was that she wanted to call one of my siblings into the house and suddenly she couldn’t remember which name she meant to call so both names morphed ….she called “STUE” out the back door.
    One of my brothers is named Steve and my sister’s name is Sue.)

  42. I love these! So cute and so BAD :)

  43. Fird Birfle says:

    skippymom: I hold the genuine belief, that your home is a perfect gem of idealized housekeeping and that, in fact, you taught Martha Stewart everything she knows.

  44. Fird Birfle says:

    agreed.

  45. Fird Birfle says:

    and there again, los kittayes
    are keepin’ up their end of the bargain: “let us entertain you….”

    Also, perhaps those particular color choices were more in keeping with your carpet and furnishings.

  46. Some silly plant lover doesn’t know the pecking order of the sunbeams/window seats. Cats are ALWAYS first.

  47. Jennifer says:

    That’s my favorite too. He’s lying there in that bear’s entrails.

  48. Maybe this is an outtake from a James Cameron movie?

  49. The hilarious beagle hovertext reference reminded me of this, which a friend sent me for mother’s day:

    http://munchanka.blogspot.com/2011/05/happy-mothers-day.html

  50. As Vizzini would say: “Inconceivable they did not!” :D

  51. I was giggling until I saw the shredded copy of “Dog Training for Dummies.” Then I howled.

  52. MJ quotes….hilarious OMG moments. such a win Pyrit!!!! Ahhh this reminds me why I’m so glad we’re out of the puppeh stages….although my favorite was the beagle hiding his face…Ooooh! the beagle who made their bed in the bear…oh wait oh wait, how about the dog training book??? Oh i can’t just choose.

  53. Oceanview says:

    Yes, that one was tears-running-down-my-face funny.

  54. A well-placed beagle can make any room look like a junkyard.

  55. The Shining alusion made me lol :D

  56. I love how most of the dogs look guilty, while the cats are all, “So?”

  57. victoreia says:

    Not on the white carpet!

  58. Kristen S. says:

    In that first picture, are you sure that’s just a boot and not someone’s leg?

  59. @Firdie….i admit, I did!

  60. Mary (the first) says:

    Yeah, everyone knows that’s the cats spot, first and foremost!! Honestly. Those people need the “cat hierarchy rules for dummies” book.

  61. theoriginalmel says:

    My kitty shares his space with my plants. I push them all to the side so he can have the sunbeams. This works out quite well, except for the one plant he hated…

  62. stbernardmom says:

    It’s just their way of saying “I love, miss, and need you!!”

    My first St Bernard puppy got into 10 skeins of REALLY EXPENSIVE Dutch yarn I was going to knit a sweater with when I left him alone. I have been working at home since 2001 and haven’t had problems since.

  63. What DO cats have against aloe plants ??? I’ve had to replant mine so many times I’ve lost count ! The worst part is mine NEVER took up any sunbeam space !

  64. sleekityin says:

    A “Grin and Tonic” happens spontaneously after about four G&T’s. (Emm, so I’ve been told.)

  65. My family and I were called out of the house on a family emergency one December evening many years ago. In our rush, no one thought to put up the plate of fresh, homemade fudge that was sitting out on an end table in the living room—a room, I might add, from which my dog was “banned” and ordinarily had no interest in anyway.

    When we arrived home about an hour later, our 4-pound toy poodle had eaten 2 pounds of chocolate fudge. She spent the next several hours “uneating” it. She was actually lying on the floor moaning when we arrived home….

    (And yes, we did call the vet. The dog fully recovered and lived another 10 or 12 years beyond that incident.)

  66. Orcgirl says:

    The calico in #6 has this look of ‘There is a plant in my water. Are you going to clean it up?’

  67. Omg these are soooo funny!!! I’ve come home a few times to shredded tissue and fluff everywhere. Even the tiniest corner of a toilet paper square will be turned into a million pieces if left alone w my Scrappy smh siiigh.. gotta love em

  68. I was thinking the same thing! “Please let that boot be empty…”

  69. The one with the torn-up Dog Training for Dummies is priceless!

  70. Fird, what color is the sky in your universe? (slowly backs away)

  71. They just wanted to give him something to focus on other than his game loss. What considerate puppers.

  72. And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

  73. Not one, but TWO beagle pictures!!!! I <3 BEAGLES!!!! (They are so dang sweet looking…so dang naughty, too.)

  74. noellesbootcutkittenpants says:

    If you’d’ve been there
    If you had seen it
    I bet that you would have done the same.

  75. KariAnn65 says:

    Um, you had me laughing hysterically!!! And I needed a good laugh today!! So thanks for sharing your pets’ bad manners and just being an animal in a house where maybe they need more toys or elevated place to run and play?? I don’t know about that statement, but I feel much better for having viewed these pics. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!!

  76. **Snort!**
    Very familiar Skippymom & Fird.
    My mom used to yell at my sister and me to “TURN THAT BONO BON JOVI DOWN!!!” when we’d blast music from our boombox while getting ready for party or date in the mid ’80s.
    (I am dating myself with mid ’80s references.)

  77. phred's mom says:

    My kitty, Ben-Him, who was a reincarnation of my dog Phred (proving the
    belief that one ADVANCES in the next incarnation) had a thing for
    anything made of olive wood: spoon, buttons, you name it. Chewing them
    to bits and leaving said bits wet and slobbery while he would look at me
    ecstatically. Olive wood was like catnip to him.

    Ben had the same markings as Phred, and a thoroughly doggie personality,
    seasoned with cattitude. I miss them both. Snif.

  78. OMG I was eating my salad and got to the dog training picture and laughed so hard I chocked! ROFL.

  79. Bettymouse says:

    Han!

  80. Fird Birfle says:

    RIP Ben & Phred. :(

  81. Fird Birfle says:

    Hi jujube :)

    I figure there couldn’t be too many disadvantages,
    to telling skippymom that opinion!!!

    (*giggle*)

  82. phred's mom says:

    merci, Fird

  83. Ayeesha says:

    I’ve actually had a dog eat through a door like that. And yes, she was a beagle. And yes, she passed many years after of old age. LOL.

  84. Love the fact that all the other dogs tore up paper or stuffing. The Rottweiler? Chewed through a wall! Ours did that several times.

    Ok, I want that gigantic teddy bear toy for my dog. How in the heck do I find one?

  85. Ruffian9 says:

    This post sent me into hysterics….how PROUD some of them look!

  86. :lol: Pictures #3 and #6 look like the kitties are saying “What are you screaming about? The plants were in our way.” :lol:

  87. bob drummond says:

    Actually , it’s MEW NEWS !

  88. bob drummond says:

    YEAH, AHM TAWKIN TO YOUUUUUU !

  89. bob drummond says:

    The dawg must’ve read the book too !!!

  90. bob drummond says:

    Yeah , home sweet home !!

  91. bob drummond says:

    I am very sorry to hear about your Dutch Yarn !

  92. Ben-Him?! LOL! Love that name :)

  93. hksginger says:

    That’s what I was wondering too? Anyone any ideas? Have to say it does look like an actual doggy bed…

  94. Telzey Amberdon says:

    Ooh, the second one (little white dog, head cocked) reminds me of a James Thurber cartoon he drew for his “The Pet Department” column. The one that goes, “I have three Scotch terriers which take things out of closets and down from shelves, et cetera. The vet advised me to gather all the wreckage, sit them down in the midst of it and say, *bad Scotties*. This, however, merely seems to give them a kind of pleasure. If I spank one, the other two jump me. Playfully, but they jump me.”

  95. do you think he was alluding to the Algonquin gang?

  96. Fird Birfle says:

    WHEN O WHEN will the CO regulars learn?? IT ISN”T PRUDENT to bring eats OR drinks to the computer table (or other gadget location) when opening a new CO story??

    Sigh of (not really) exasperation.

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