The Ignoble Life of the Professional Sports Mascot

I tell people what I do, and they always go wide-eyed like it’s some kinda dream job. Yeah, as if. Try sweating under forty pounds of fur and fiberglas while some dipstick in a chicken suit pounds you with a rubber mallet and then get back to me.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not all bad. The hours are convenient. Beer’s half price. Sometimes I put on the head and drive around, y’know, just to mess with people. But seriously, if you’d told me I’d be doing this, I’d have shown up more in college.


“This is a photo bomb with my boston terrier Porkchop,” writes Katherine M.

Comments

  1. Theresa says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHA *THUD*

  2. kibblenibble says:

    *runs to look for the Hello Kitty defibramajig for Theresa*

  3. Best. Photobomb. Ever!

  4. dubyah1 says:

    Doesn’t look like a Bruin, so I s’pose it’s a Boston Bomber! Or B. Terrorier.

  5. Theresa says:

    PS: “Porkchop”! :lol:

  6. dgerish says:

    NOMTOM, I’m dying with laughter over here.

    How’s your mom doing?

  7. kallisto73 says:

    What Theresa said. And then some.

  8. warrior rabbit says:

    I cannot tell you how much I laughed at this. Mostly because I’m still trying to catch my breath.

  9. Rachael says:

    First of all, Porkchop.

    Secondly, OMG!!!!

  10. ashagato says:

    love!

  11. ffleur2 says:

    I swear animals know what a photobomb is and plan them out carefully. This one is perfect. And I love the name “porkchop” too.

  12. Red Toenails says:

    Pure. Genius.

  13. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    She’s feeling better; thank you for asking. By the time I printed the responses, there were over fifty pages, so I faxed ten to her and sent the entire printout by mail. She asked me to thank all C.O. readers for the outpouring of support. It may be too fatiguing for her to read them all, but the sheer volume has, I hope, impressed her that this is still a caring world with a place for her.

  14. Hugs.

  15. OMG!! Laughing SOOOO HARD at this! I actually GUFFAWED out loud when I scrolled down. I was not expecting a BT Photobomb. Porkchop’s expression is hilarious. I love everything about this. HAHAHA!!!

  16. Leilani says:

    Thank you for the update, Mike. I’ve been thinking about her and sending good thoughts her way. Hugs to you both!

  17. Leilani says:

    I love the “Heh, heh, hehhhhhhhh” look on Porkchop’s face.

  18. kallisto73 says:

    I’m glad she enjoyed them.

  19. catvicc4r says:

    Brilliant!! NOMTOM that lead in then seeing the photo. Best EVER!! I’m dyin’

  20. phred's mom says:

    I just wet myself laughing.

  21. phred's mom says:

    not really, but darn close!

  22. Named after Doug Funnie’s dog?

  23. bookmonstercats says:

    Good thoughts continue to fly her way.

  24. Theresa says:

    I would really like to see a BT mascot. This guy’s head is almost THIS BIG!

  25. emmberrann says:

    I am a BU alum, so I jes’ fell in luu-h-hv with this (after I stopped laughing so hahd I had teahs in my eyes and rollin down my face) Bahston pupster. But the name “Porkchop” got to me, and I was gaspin’. Wicked funny! Wicked! Oh, and the pupster is anerables, too.

  26. Lillith says:

    You’re a good son, my best to you both.

  27. Lillith says:

    Perfect hovertext as usual.

    Also; Porkchop!

  28. Seconded!!!
    *giggling like crazy at the coffee shop*

  29. I’m glad that she’s feeling better. She can tuck those pages away for a rainy day when she needs some cyber hugs.

  30. Porkchop needs a porkchop.

  31. Fird Birfle says:

    et moi aussi.

  32. Fird Birfle says:

    8-O

  33. Fird Birfle says:

    insightful and also true.

  34. Fird Birfle says:

    ps: nice choice o’ hovertext, as well.

  35. Another entry for the coffee table book we’re all waiting for…

  36. Please let us know if there is more we can do.

  37. Oui. Although a wink would have really flattened me out.

  38. victoreia says:

    Definitely a Joey Tribiani glint in Porkchop’s (!) eye……

  39. ashagato says:

    NOMTOM I felt so bad I was absent for a few days and missed the opportunity to send some love to your momma and tell her what a lovely and talented son she raised, but I know my fellow COers stepped up to the plate.
    I’m happy to hear things are improving for her…

  40. bob drummond says:

    Very good NOMTOM, AND VERY FUNNNNNNYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : – )

  41. A Bob-omb?

  42. Marty's Mom says:

    Couldn’t agree more! Not to mention an AMAZING name! Boston Terriers Rule!

  43. sleekityin says:

    Wow! She’s really keeping her man on a tight leash.

  44. Hey NOMTOM Glad to hear mom is doing better !
    P.S.Don’t forget to call your MOMTOM !

  45. skippymom says:

    Well, this made me think of Tom and Ray Magliozzi’s nephew whose nickname was “Pork Chop Boy” because the only way to get the dog to play with him was to hang a pork chop around his neck.

  46. Katherine Mueller says:

    I can’t believe Porkchop made it onto CO! This just made my lifetime. Thanks for the comments everyone!

    Katherine M.

  47. Hey! i know that guy!

  48. Porkchop the driver should be wearing a seat belt. /nuff

  49. lds7yrs says:

    What she said.

  50. I can’t believe nobody has said, “Problem?” (Or “U mad bro?”)

  51. Theresa says:

    Tom and Ray lifted that from an old Rodney Dangerfield routine.

  52. bob drummond says:

    Uh- oh ! Do I detect flashing re lights – and the sound of a poloice siren ?YIKES !!!

  53. He’s seriously a cutie. Lot of boston terrier fans on this board.

  54. hksginger says:

    This is absolutely hi-lar-ious! I just about fell off the sofa with tears in my eyes – love it!

  55. ashagato says:

    yup! :)

  56. Katherine Mueller says:

    Yes ya do! <3

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