Limp And Lifeless?

Get your sproing and vigor back with Pronghorn. It’s easy to do if you follow these easy instructions. 1. Watch the video. 2. Run and jump. 3. Drink a bottle. 4. Repeat.

You will notice dramatic results immediately.

You might expect to pay hundreds of dollars for such a high quality program, but guess what? Pronghorn is totally FREE! That’s right, you can feel better at no cost to you.

Try it now, you have absolutely nothing to lose.

Fave Frame™

Results may vary. Bipeds rarely reach speeds matching quadrupeds. Consult your doctor before beginning any exercise routine. This is a product of Queens Zoo and Luke G.



  1. I’m going to try Pronghorn today! Thanks for telling me.

    I love it when animals have so much energy that they just can’t quite figure out what to do with themselves (see the 18 second mark if you’re not sure what I’m talking about). Cute little pair here!

  2. Theresa says:

    I could use a Sproing infusion this rainy morning! Thanks, CO! 😀

  3. Mary (the first) says:

    Yes, when they’re so young that they can’t quite figure out how to sproing exactly like they want to yet. They just know they have to sproing!

  4. skippymom says:

    I need this real, real bad.

  5. fleurdamour says:


  6. oh man that’s the cutest underbite I’ve ever seen

  7. sleekityin says:

    Caution, overuse of Pronghorn may cause exhaustion from severe spronkification.

  8. skippymom says:

    If you find yourself sproinging for more than four hours, seek medical attention.

  9. Educational insert: pronghorns are the second fastest animal in the world. They evolved alongside the American cheetah, which died out along with the American lion (both bigger than the African ones) and many other American species at the end of the Pleistocene. They don’t need to try to outrun cheetahs anymore, but they’re still very fast. Avoiding cheetahs probably also accounts for their dodging abilities.

  10. Saffron says:

    I like the milling about at the beginning and then….wait! we can SPROING!!!

    How do I go about leaving my desk job and go to work bottlefeeding adorable animals?

  11. edmundh says:

    @ 0:49 they look a bit disappointed when they finish their bottle.

    Now if you will excuse me, I’ll have to go lie down after all the sproing-ing around.

  12. Saffron says:

    Oh man, I am in the Mod Lounge. I am going to sproing (or shuffle as fast as my sciatica will let me…) over to the fridge. Am now having a fresh tomato sammich and some diet root beer.

  13. Hee hee!

  14. Megumi's Mom says:

    How can those skinny, delicate legs contain so much sproing?
    (I need them to visit and deliver some sproing to my garden without eating it all… )

  15. Fird Birfle says:


  16. I think they crossed deer with fennec’s for these.

  17. ceejoe says:

    I was at the National Zoo in Washington DC today. No pronghorns, but much squeeing! Pandas! eeeee!

  18. ABC123 says:

    OMG sooo funny

  19. *snerk*

  20. lurkensproingen, definition of

  21. Fird Birfle says:

    “Do you poop out, at parties???” 😉

  22. Fird Birfle says:

    YAY National Zoo/ DC!!
    *shakes pompoms and does a Snoopy Dance with ceejoe*

    PS: ceejoe, if there is another day in your visit which
    is not yet scheduled I STRONGLY recommend the Botanical Gardens.
    Many many visitors to DC never find these wonderful facilities.

    Admission to the U.S. Botanic Garden is FREE.
    (ceejoe — I’m not clear on whether all the different sections are free admission or whether there are admission fees to some particular display so doublecheck with their staff before setting out.

    Below are some of the logistical data. CO moderators, pleeze forgive my blatant pushing (and slightly lengthy sidetrack here) re. Pretty Things in the District of Columbia.

    National Garden is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, including all weekends and holidays.

    The Conservatory’s main entrance is located at 100 Maryland Avenue SW, Washington, DC 20001 (use this address to search for directions).
    The Conservatory is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, including all weekends and holidays.

    From Memorial Day, May 28, through Labor Day, September 3, the National Garden is open from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily. It is adjacent to the Conservatory, with entrances from Independence Avenue, from Maryland Avenue (at 3rd Street) and from the Conservatory Terrace.

    Bartholdi Park is open from dawn to dusk, daily, including all weekends and holidays. It is located across Independence Avenue from the Conservatory, with access from any of the three bordering streets – Independence Avenue, Washington Avenue or First Street.

    Public Transportation
    The easiest way to reach us by Metrorail is by taking either the Orange or Blue line to the Federal Center SW station. Exit the station, walk north (left) along Third Street SW for two blocks, cross Independence Avenue and continue one more block to Maryland Avenue. Look toward the Capitol and you will see the glass dome of the Conservatory. The Conservatory entrance is on Maryland Avenue.

    Metrobuses #30, 32, 34, 35 and 36 stop behind the Conservatory at Independence Avenue and First Street SW.

    I used to live in N.Va/ DC.
    Can you tell???

  23. doomchild says:

    Watch out oakley, you’ve got a challenger

  24. Thanks Fird! I do have a couple more days after my conference ends tomorrow, but I’m meeting some friends who already have some sight seeing plans, but I will keep the botanical gardens in mind!

  25. Almost as sproingy as that little lamb.

  26. Fird Birfle says:

    Have fun!

  27. Ruffian9 says:

    I hear ya, skippymom.

  28. I would do this myself, but I don’t have big ears like they do to help me sproing!