Lion Lullaby

Hush little baby, don’t lose hope
Mama’s gonna catch you an antelope

And if your tummy rumbles more
Mama’s gonna run down a wild boar

And if that boar’s too boring for you
Mama’s gonna net you a nummy gnu

And if that gnu just runs and laughs
Mama’s gonna hunt down a herd of giraffes

And if those giraffe should scamper east
Mama’s gonna bag you a wildebeest

And if that wildebeest’s too wary
Mama’s gonna slaughter a whole safari

And if that safari bails (how rude!)
Mama’s gonna send out for Chinese food

And if there’s a photo that makes your day
It prolly came from Flickr user Brian McKay


  1. bob drummond says:

    AAAAAAWWWW !! How sweet !

  2. I second both, bob drummond :D

  3. bob drummond says:

    Thank you Teresa !!

  4. bob drummond says:

    Oh , and the poem is pretty good too !!!

  5. *melt*
    oh lordy

    y’all I think I’ve gotten lightheaded looking at this…

    (plus, yay for NOMTOM poems!)

  6. Most excellent, NOMTOM, most excellent, I can hear her now….dee di de dee dee, dee di de deee…

  7. LOL. Thank you so much for the prosh lullaby. I guessed what I’d see before I even scrolled down and then, erupted in . A much much necessary pix.

  8. And the poem! The poem! “Mama’s gonna slaughter a whole safari” Truly – I burst out laughing. And the “chinese food” line? I’m going to sing this to my cats because yes, I am a CCL and they would like it.

  9. Hmmm. The mod bagged my “squee!”. It was supposed to be “erupted in -illegal marking-squee!-illegal marking. I didn’t realize it would get flagged. Ma’ bad.

  10. CCL? What does that stand for? (Chinese Cat Lady? Concealed Carry License?)

  11. Crazy Cat Lady (I know cause I am one)

  12. Concealed Cat License – Evil doers beware (reaches into bag, pulls out…fluffy cat, arms and legs flailing, nasty little fingernails splayed, head spinning, eyes shooting laserbeams a la X-Men, “NYERH!”), and evil doers run screaming.

    Works every time. License costs: A kibble. I highly recommend everyone get one.

  13. Don’t worry, CiroccoK. We eat well in the Mod Lounge. :D French onion soup?

  14. Fird Birfle says:

    — is the gnu stew served, in
    the flagon with the dragon or in the vessel with the pestel?? ;)

    Not that Danny Kaye, the Other Danny Kaye

  15. the power of the new gnu!
    who gnu?
    gnu what?

  16. And I’ve just made a steaming vat of gnu stew.

  17. Who gnu?

  18. Is it the new gnu stew or the old gnu stew? Trust me, it makes a difference.

  19. It’s what was left of the old gnu stew, jazzed up with a fresh batch of new gnu stew, so it’s as good as gnu, but don’t tell everybody, because some people are squeamish.

  20. emmberrann says:

    Si that Squeeeee-mish, or squeamish? ‘Cause I’m feelin’ pretty Squeeeee-mish, lookin’ at that there bebeh lai-inn, with its Mommer.

  21. skippymom says:

    Fird: yes.

  22. doomchild says:

    The safari part cracked me up :D

  23. Awww, so sweet! Look at those faces!!

  24. Mary (the first) says:

    OMG I’m so conflicted.. don’t want to read about bagging gnus and stuff, yet the big kittehs are so pretty and of course I know they do .. um .. do that and *sigh* I eat meat too, so really, who am I to talk? Maybe I’ll just look at the kittehs more. So sweet!!

  25. The Original Jane says:

    I was more concerned about the giraffes than any of the others (well, maybe the antelopes) – LEAVE the giraffes ALONE!

  26. The Original Jane says:

    He left out the cape buffalo and the hippo.

  27. ZeppthePug says:

    But how would you rhyme “cape buffalo”?

    And if you don’t like that movie with Mark Ruffalo
    Mama’s gonna hunt you a nice cape buffalo.

    Or some such.

  28. Fird Birfle says:

    Extra, Bonus Points, for Noteworthy Effort !!! :)

  29. I love Mark Ruffalo!

  30. The Original Jane says:

    Yup, I was thinking Mark Ruffalo but didn’t bother thinking up a rhyme. Nice one.

  31. Good thing Cape Buffalos are not easy prey for lions (or humans):

  32. The Original Jane says:

    I have a video from our safari where a pride of lions took down a water buffalo – really gross and it took a long time. I didn’t film it personally but it is part of the extended video of one safari day a companion took. It must have been separated from it’s herd and didn’t have the protection of numbers but it put up quite a fight so I don’t think it was ill.

  33. XD

    Giraffes run fast and kick hard. Lions are asking for trouble if they attack even one of them.

  34. The Original Jane says:

    Yup – except if they manage to get a baby alone.

  35. Holy monkey buns….I ♥ it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. Oh my STINKIN’ GOSH! How stinkin’ beautiful!!!

  37. Awww, it’s me and Chloe.

  38. Yes that’s what I tought also, it’s me and Mia.

  39. Martha in Washington says:

    Did anybody else actually read this with the tune going through their head? You’ve made my day AGAIN, Mike!

    Such adorable lioness and lionette!

  40. Me five!

    I cannot help but wonder where the photographer stood to get such an amazing shot… Or was that a really powerful zoom lens to get that close? However it was done, it’s absolutely gorgeous!

  41. Mary (the first) says:

    super powerful zoom lens and probably zoo bars too.

  42. I saw that Disney movie last year about the big cats, and the shots were amazing! I remember thinking the same thing – how did they get so close!?!

  43. Are you kidding? I sang along with it!

  44. I did also!

  45. skippymom says:

    Well, YEAH….

  46. Me four! What a great poem, NOMTOM! Genius Strikes Again! I’m going to sing it to all of my cats also!

  47. That picture is so sweet, I think I’m getting diabeetus! *sigh*

    thank you.

  49. Altered song lyrics! Yay!
    It must be Wacky Warbling Wednesday.

  50. Pleeeeease put together a coffee table book… this is another perfect entry!

  51. bookmonstercats says:

    NOMTOM, Poet Laureate.

    I used to sing Dumbo’s mother’s lullaby to my children (the not-furry ones) when they were babies, but really… I would have to sing NOMTOM’s lullaby to them now (excepting they’s all growd up these days).

  52. I’ll take 20 of those CTB–ASAP!

  53. emmberrann says:

    What Victoreia said, seconded. (I spoze we’re gonna hafta wait some more. Le sigh….)

  54. victoreia says:

    This should be the very FIRST entry in the CTB!!!!!

    (Coffee Table Book, if you was wonderin’.)

  55. NEver mind the coffee table book, this is all ready for publishing as a Children’s Book! With photo illustrations of animals of the veldt! C’mon, NTMTOM, find yerself an agent and get cracking!

  56. Catsquatch says:

    Ok, whoever wrote the poem is a freekin JEENYIS!!!!

  57. victoreia says:

    The line to marry NTMTOM goes thataway —–> Gods only know where it starts, or how long it is now….

  58. I’ve been lookin for that line.

  59. bookmonstercats says:

    You might have mistaken NOMTOM’s marrying line for the equator, LyndaLu :)

    We don’t care if he’s not actually available, he is no1 in our virtual stable of interdimensional husbands (Copyright Theresa – did I get it right?)

    Also, I don’t care what he looks like.

  60. “Also, I don’t care what he looks like.”

    True love.

  61. I should think it’s reaching math story problem dimensions by now.

    If you put all the groupies wanting to marry Tom Nom (or whatever his name is) in a line, how many times will it encircle the Earth?

    Show your work.

  62. The Original Jane says:

    Ha ha! Tom Nom. One of my favorite soups is Tom Yam in the freezer section at Trader Joe’s. Just had it for breakfast today!

    Oh, and for those who want to marry NTMTOM, first you better find out if he’s available and second you should get an authenticated, current photo. Just sayin’ it is the internet. :)

    And yes, loved the poem (minus the giraffes being targeted) and LOVE the sweet little cub face. So cute!

  63. Awesomeness x hilarity=elebenty squllion

  64. When I look at these pictures I always think “whoa, momma’s head alone looks bigger than the whole baby! While scary to think about, that must also be a source of comfort, as leaning against their parent’s body is like being sheltered by a small mountain”.

  65. emmberrann says:

    When my kitteh used to snuggle against me, I used to think that the ratio between me and him (as an adult) must have been about the same as his mama and him (as a wee tiny bebeh). Think about it….. Well, it made sense at the time!!

  66. bookmonstercats says:

    A lot of things make sense when one is being snuggled by a kitteh, emberann…..

  67. For heaven’s sake mom, I’ll get you a gift card for PF Chang or your local Golden Buddha for Mother’s Day!

  68. It’s a mothe and child reunion :-)

  69. you know that song’s name was inspired by a Chinese food menu (or something?) for a chicken-and-egg dish?

    (yes! just verified w/wikipedia and it checks out!)

  70. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    It’s only a motion awaaaaaaaayyyy…

  71. meow !

  72. *Bows to the genius of NTMTOM* I am not worthy

  73. Ditto. NTMTOM wins the internet today!!!

  74. A gnu and a wildebeest? Can I get a woodchuck and a groundhog? A weasel and a polecat? Maybe a tadpole and a polliwog?

  75. How about a panther, a puma, and a mountain lion?

  76. A panther, a puma, and a mountain lion go into a bar…..

  77. The panther slinks under it, the puma leaps over it, and the mountain lion uses it as a perch for spotting prey.

  78. Mary (the first) says:

    What’re you trying to say?? (Firefly and lightning bug?)

  79. skippymom says:

    If you’re squeamish about eating gnu, this may not be the right stew for you, but if you squee when you see the lions, then I’m not lyin’ when I say that you should eat some of the stew, because it’s really, really good for you.
    (grasps own elbow, etc.)

  80. emmberrann says:

    *In Homer Simpson voice* “Mmmmmmm! Gnu Stew!”

    Although, come to think of it, I do eat bisonburger… Would it be THAT different? Who would know? Other than the lions, I mean.

  81. The Original Jane says:

    I’ve had ox tail soup made from an African lady (when I was visiting Ireland – how’s that for weird?). Did NOT settle well on the tummy. I barely kept it down and my friend threw up about an hour later.

    I don’t know how Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern handle some of the things they eat.

  82. made from an African lady?! O.O
    or made by an African lady…

    huuuuggge difference

    jes’ sayin’… considering the subject matter, and all (safari, anyone??!)

  83. emmberrann says:

    Only if we can have gnu stew.

  84. The Original Jane says:

    Oops, I’m usually decent with my grammar although I’m not a library/science or lit major like so many who post here. I meant to write: made BY an African lady…

  85. WHOA 8O

  86. skippymom says:

    This was supposed to be a reply to emmberann, down below.

  87. emmberrann says:

    Mebbe you mean up aboves?

  88. It was down below when she wrote it. The Mod Machine does that… :)

  89. skippymom says:

    I swear CO is trying to make me look stupid lately, messing with my comments. I’m so mad I just might boycott the site for, oh, ten minutes or so. That’ll show ’em.

  90. Fird Birfle says:

    *giggles, very quietly, at skippymom’s [somewhat lame] boycott plans*

    (but skippymom, please know I’m giggling WITH you, NOT
    at you ….
    and *in the best, possible way*)


  91. emmberrann says:

    Yeah, umm-hmm, SM. That it will.


  93. I can almost hear the little baby kitty chirps he would make!!

  94. SO VERY BEAUTIFUL. And great lullaby. I think my cats would appreciate it; one thinks he’s a panther and the other things he’s a tiger. (And the third one I call “Il Divo.”)

  95. That really is the sweetest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Bravo!

  96. That just made my day, NTMTOM! Thanks!

  97. Wait, we have a new tag? Big Kittehs!!! I can’t imagine buying kitty litter for that thing.

  98. awww, NOMTOM, that was great!
    (wild applause)

  99. Mamma cats are the best!

  100. Fan-freakin’-tastic Poem!!!! Super cute pic, too! All around excellence!

  101. sunnylessmum says:

    Shakes head. Too cute to handle. And of course, kudos to Mike as per usual!

  102. MrsKravitz says:


    Author! Author!

    Well done, NTMTOM!
    You’se a poet,
    and we didn’t even know it!

  103. But his feet show it, because they’re Longfellows.

  104. The poem was actually cuter than the picture! Not saying the pic wasn’t super cute!

  105. leaves of cat grass says:

    o i can just hear the epic lion purring…

  106. NTMTOM, when you open your Sister Wives compound, and serve as our Poet Laureate in Residence and Brainiac House Husband, I will happily do the cooking if you make up bedtime stories for us…

  107. Martha in Washington says:

    I’ll do the crocheting!

  108. bookmonstercats says:

    I’ll do the knitting.

  109. I’ll clean the litter boxes.

  110. Fird Birfle says:

    now THAT’s a particularly NOBLE community service ethic, ceejoe !!

    Although the knitting/ crocheting are lovely thoughts, too :)

  111. I’ll walk the goggies!

  112. I’ll be the crochet understudy.

    Wait, I’m married.

    Nevermind! /Emily Litella

  113. bob drummond says:

    Who’s going to wash the dishes ????

  114. cellarmouse says:

    nicely done, nomtom…

  115. Aww, this makes me want to go back on Safari. We saw some adorable lion cubs playing around while Momma Lion lazed around in the background. Much cuter than the lion we’d seen earlier who was dragging dinner home (and got extremely peeved at us and almost jumped on our vehicle). *note to self, next time on safari go in vehicle in which roof pops up, not one in which you remove the roof panels and chuck in the back seat*

  116. emmberrann says:

    How did Chuck take it?

  117. He had a good view from the back seat, it’s okay ;-) Plus the food was back there.

  118. The Original Jane says:

    Oh my, we had the pop tops. I wouldn’t have wanted to be in a “no sides” vehicle when the Cape Buffalo charged at our van. (He did stop short, thankfully.)

    Of course, then there was the day they let us stupid tourists out to wander around the riverbank with hippos and crocs everywhere. Let’s just say I and another lady were almost lunch for two crocs.

    In our defense, OUR van driver neglected to give instructions like they were supposed to. AND there were a couple military armed (machine gun) guards up on the top of the riverbank so we *assumed* they were there to protect us. Wrong. They were there since the river was the divider between two countries and a popular “sneak across the border” area. There job was to shoot people, not animals.

    And we saw lions take down or saw carcasses they’d taken down of hippos and cape buffalo so that’s why I said earlier the poem/song should have had those creatures and leave out the gorgeous giraffes!

  119. NTMTOM, you’re truly a leonine poet, a mane man. I ain’t lion.

  120. Fird Birfle says:


    “mane man” = :)

  121. We shall now commence to lionize NTMTOM.

  122. Fird Birfle says:

    oooooooo GOOD one, Noelegy.
    I di-unt see THAT one, comingk :)

  123. the big bunny says:

    NTMTOM, that was brilliant.

  124. I know, it was meant to be funny, but I kinda teared up.

  125. Andi from NC says:

    … you’re not alone on that one….

  126. Copperbat says:

    “nummy gnu” is so much fun to say! hooray for NTMTOM!

  127. Fird Birfle says:

    We’ve all gotten so drunk, on the NTM Appreciation Society
    Kool-Aid and the poem, that
    thus far no one has menshonned les sourires des chats…

    (pa-Angliskii — them thar kitties am both smilin’ purty nice !!!!)

  128. crashnandicoot says:

    Truly amazing. I keep re-reading this. It’s very special.

  129. It is.

  130. Purrrrrfect timing on this submission for those of us in Chicagoland who mourn the loss of Adelore, the King of the Brookfield Zoo. RIP Adelore!

  131. by far my fave of yours, NomTom!

  132. Sleepingks achieved.

  133. LOL SO much poem appreciation and yet is that not the SWEETEST mamma and Baby picture? :)

  134. “In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle, the Cub sleeps tonight….”

    Couldn’t help myself!

  135. Fird Birfle says:

  136. My favorite part is the hovertext. That melts me.

  137. This post, its wonderful song, is, not to put too fine a point on it…
    addictive, i shall visit eet over and over. Went to Brian’s flickr site to say “wow”.
    and to NTMTOM and to Sea Oh… a resounding “can’t thank you enuff…evar!”

  138. That is awesome.. and I am going to sing that version of the lullaby from now on…


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