Wow, You’ve Got a Big Mouth!

Yeah, people keep coming up to me and telling me that. “You got a big mouth,” they says, and then I says “Yeah, I know, it’s just how I am,” that’s what I says to ’em.

Like the time I run into Donna from the block, coming out of Charlie’s apartment at six in the morning, which struck me kinda funny, seeing how she’s engaged to Ralph the butcher for six months now. Anyway, she says to me “You got a big mouth, you know that?” And I says “Yeah, I get that all the time.”

And just last week, Big Vinnie come up to me, he’s the guy with the gold chains and the pompadour, even though it’s really a toupee and the chains spend more time in the pawn shop than ’round his neck on account of his gambling problem, anyway he says to me “Hey, you got a big mouth,” and I says “I know, I was just born with it.”

“My mom found this little guy on a field trip. He’s definitely happy about something,” says Elizabeth M.



  1. He’s lovely – but *what* is he?

  2. Horned toad? (just kidding–I know they’re really lizards)

    This guy looks toad-like to me.

  3. Jackie Rose says:

    Aww! I haven’t seen one of this little guys in ages! I remember catching them in my great-grandmother’s flower garden. That’s when they were plentiful in Texas before the fire ants chased off the red ants (which is the horny toad’s natural food).

  4. If you kiss this horned toad will he turn into a horny prince?

  5. Yep that’s a horny toad as we called them growing up here in Nevada. I loved those things and spent most of my time catching them when I was 9 and 10. 😀 A few years ago the next door neighbors son found out I used to catch them, caught one and gave it to me. I thanked him profusely, held and petted Mr. Toad until he wet home. Then took him out into the yard and returned him to the wild. 🙂

  6. Fird Birfle says:




  7. kibblenibble says:

    We had these horny toads in Colorado, where I lived as a child. And I’m surprised that all of us calling them “horny” toads aren’t ending up in the mod lounge! 😆

  8. kibblenibble says:

    Yay, Gigi! 😆

  9. **golf clap**

  10. What a beautiful little guy (or girl)

  11. Mary (the first) says:

    OMG if so, send him over to my house. **MWAH**

  12. Another NOMTOM classic for his coffee-table book. That we’re all still waiting for. *harumph*

  13. We call them Texas Horned Lizards. When I was a little girl growing up in Houston, I used to play with them.

  14. In Texas, we can get license plates with the legend “Keep Texas Wild” and a picture of one of these little guys. 🙂 Want. ♥

  15. I’m from Minneapolis. Trust me, you don’t want any of that horny Prince.

  16. *giggle*

  17. We can only hope. 😉

  18. Where are the legs?

  19. Behind the fingers.

  20. Mary (the first) says:

    … and … waiting!! *tap tap tap of foot*

  21. *Yosemite Sam Voice* GREAT HORNY TOADS!

  22. Fird Birfle says:

    *delighted snerk*

  23. He really is so cute; but I think petting him could be a problem;
    (Mebbee you can pet him on his head, very carefully, with a Q-tip;
    But if he wrestled the Q-tip away and tried to eat it or joust with it,
    I don’t think I’d argue with him, though)

  24. Hilarious NTMTOM! Cracked me up.

  25. Very Portlandia, NTMTOM! And this leetle guy is cute!

  26. I kept waiting for a Martha Raye reference!

  27. Hey! Your avatar looks just like that horny toad, only green.

  28. And angrier-looking. 😯

  29. The Original Jane says:

    Same here! Saw them all the time at my grandparent’s place out in the Arizona desert. Alive – and the skeletons too.

  30. What I want to know is, where’s his TEEFS?!

  31. emmberrann says:

    Me, three..

  32. Horned toads (or Horned Frogs, as any good TCU grad would call them) spit blood from their eyes. So ferocious!

  33. Portlandia? More like Bensonhurstia. And I know what I’m talking about. 😛

  34. Did he bleed out his eyeballs for her? I’ve always wanted to see that!

  35. How can she just leave him standing? Alone in a toon that’s so bold?

  36. Ohhhhh this calls for a Photoshop, and I just don’t have the time anymore… 😦

  37. If Cute Overload had a conference or something, and NOMTOM was there, and I could get to meet him, I would get on a plane to get there, if I had to. I haven’t been on a plane in over 30 years. I think that’s a true statement, that I would go just to meet him.

  38. Fird Birfle says:

    ??? 😯

  39. Fird Birfle says:

    He’s so cute I wouldn’t argue wif him ’bout NUTTHIN.

  40. Fird Birfle says:

    I concur with those noting T.U.M.’s avatar,
    being a family member to the Horny Toad in the photo.

  41. HAW!

  42. “Molly the wide-mouthed frog” — a kid’s story told by my Southern cousin, complete with facial demonstrations of exactly how w-w-w-i-i-i-d-d-d-e-e Molly’s mouth could get!

  43. My brother and I used to catch them all the time growing up in the High Desert in California. They were the easiest lizard to catch because they were so well camouflaged they wouldn’t move and you could just pick them up. The best was when you found a baby about 1 inch long so darn cute! Never saw one squirt blood from their eyes even though we came across so many of them over the years.

  44. CuteCon 2012! Do you think we can get Maru as a guest?

  45. kibblenibble says:

    I’m SO there! Let’s DO EET!!

  46. this is the best idea evar! I would walk barefoot and uphill both ways to get there…

  47. O HAI

  48. 32 chickens, 10 snails, 8 dogs, 4 goats, 3 cats, 2 fish and baby goats on the way!! says:

    Horny toad!!!

    Thanks so much for a blast from the past! I lived in the Arizona desert until I was six, and I used to catch them all the time. The blood squirting from the eyes (a defense mechanism) is true, one did it to me and got it all over my fingers. Adults told me that he would have been aiming for my eyes. It is great to show the husband they really exist!

  49. Is there one that says “Keep Texas Horny”?

  50. Jackie Rose says:

    I saw them all the time in the mid-sixties, but within ten years, they had almost completely disappeared from north-central Texas.

  51. PS: *waving lighter slowly in rhythm, singing to tune of “Purple Rain”*

    “Horny Toads, Horny Toads!
    Horny Toads, Horny Toads!
    Horny Toads, Horny Toads,
    I only want to see you playing with the horny toads”

    *camera pans around crowd; the big tough bouncer guy is tearing up*

  52. bookmonstercats says:

    Wimmin’!! Can’t live with ’em, can’t bury ’em under the patio……

  53. bookmonstercats says:

    I keep checking my coffee-table…..

  54. bookmonstercats says:

    Put it on the list, Theo.

  55. bookmonstercats says:

    I would never normally get on a plane unless I really had to, especially for long enough to cross the Atlantic, but I would get on one for a CuteCon to meet y’all and especially NOMTOM (not to mention Pyrit, Meg, Theo and Sharpie). There would have to be a Mod Lounge, of course, and a place to watch Theresa’s videos, and a wall dedicated to Oakley’s puns, and Theo in his uniform.


  56. I will be there!!! Do eet!!!

  57. The horny toad, or horned lizard, is rapidly disappearing, and has been put on the Protected species list. As such, the little guy should not be touched or held. A friend of mine had some in her yard a few years back and allowed her grandson to play with them. This angered her daughter so much she turned her Mom in the Oklahoma Wildlife Federation. They contacted her and gave her the information above. I absolutely love the horny toads, even have a collection, but I will probably never get to hold and play with another one. Sad.

  58. so that when he calls you his little horny toad you can’t help it when blood shoots out of your eyes?

  59. These were a common sight in Fort Worth during my childhood in the 50’s. They really do spit blood (or something that looks like it) out of their eyes if they are really riled. Mostly, though, they will just tee-tee in your hand. Sadly, they are not around much any more, and if you see one you shouldn’t pick it up or otherwise disturb it. I brought my husband to Texas from his Yankee home, and he graduated from TCU and is now an avid Horned Frog!

  60. We still had them in the Texas Panhandle when I was a kid but by high school you never saw them. It really makes me regret handling them then. Ah, hindsight.

  61. Yes, yes. Do eet!!!

  62. HAW!

    No. 😦

  63. Aww, so sweet! 😛

  64. baby birdie says:

    Anything to meet NOMTOM!

  65. I got a coffee-table, ‘specially for the book……. *pouts*

  66. Fird Birfle says:

    nice pout ya got, goin’, there, v 🙂

  67. bob drummond says:

    …and still waaaaiiitingggg !!!

  68. bob drummond says:

    Forget NTMTOM , everybody on this page is hilarious !!!
    And yes , I remember these little guys too .
    Back down in Oklahoma , where my father’s relatives
    used to live !!!

  69. this pic is cute, but hes not smiling, reptiles gap their mouths when theyre trying to cool down or as a warning, so basically, hes not very happy at being picked up – leave him alone!

  70. there, there. it’s okay. let’s sit over here on this tuffet while i tell you all about space and time.

  71. 32 chickens, 10 snails, 8 dogs, 4 goats, 3 cats, 2 fish and baby goats on the way!! says:

    Ha ha! No, when he calls me that I get that little anticipatory gleem in me eye! I save the blood for when he spends the evening love hours on political web sites.

  72. well excuse me for actually caring about the animal, silly me with all my ideas!