Operators Are Hanging By!

The fast pace of modern life can become so addicting, many people have forgotten how to slow down. That’s why there’s SLOTH — the Slow Life Orientation Training Hotline. One call to your personal SLOTH life coach brings you crisis intervention, de-stressing tips, and plenty of relaxing music on hold. Hurry up and call now!

Prince at the phone, from Pilar V.


  1. I would actually be too lazy to be an instructor.

  2. skippymom says:

    I’m too lazy to comment.

  3. Fird Birfle says:

    heh heh at you both!!!

  4. skippymom says:

    Firdie, I’d say hi but I’m too lazy.

  5. I would put you on a respirator, but, you know . . . *blinks helplessly*

  6. SlaveToCat says:

    With one eye Blinks “waves” in Morse Code and slips into a coma.

  7. *Waves tip of finger at Nikki, collapses*

  8. Ha!! Love you gals.

  9. *struggles to lift head off chair, sinks back deeper into cushions.*

  10. skippymom says:

    reaches out for Theresa’s wrist to try and help her wave, falls asleep

  11. *Trying to push myself up from lying down position to wave, fails*

  12. anonymous coward. says:


    just as an fyi, the word for sloth in french is “paresseux”, which means… “lazy”. so you guys just made an joke spanning two languages. and who said that the c.o. crowd isn’t in subtle humour? :-)

  13. Mary (the first) says:

    No one’s ever said the CO crowd isn’t in subtle humour. No one ever.

  14. Fird Birfle says:

    you guys am funneh.

  15. Actually, I see us more in slapstick. “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.”

  16. No une evar sed teh Qte leeves yor speling intakt eiter.

  17. miniature.moose says:

    Hey that’s interesting! In German they’re called “Faultier” = lazy animal.

  18. Somehow this SLOTH hotline sounds like a “hurry up and wait” kind of place….

  19. Festina Lente: Make haste slowly

  20. :D

  21. Is this guy from that sloth sanctuary in Central America? Oh, how I want to see them in person.

  22. I believe that is Buttercup.

  23. I was up to the wee hours last night looking at tons of killer nail tutorials on you tube last night so all I can think of when I see those nails is trying them out on that operator !

  24. I have to admit, I can’t think of sloths as “cute” because I just can’t get past those GIANT CLAWS

  25. Thank you. I hate to admit, but sloths creep me out. They shouldn’t. They have kind, smiling faces and seem to be very sweet. I’m fine with this pic until I scroll down to see his 15 foot long arm and mass o’ claws. Something about they way they moo…ooo…ooove as gives me the willies, too. Someone said it was probably their prehistoric look.

    I want to like, but I can’t quit *shuddering* when I see one. :(

  26. Well, the claws are certainly not dangerous – if they swung them at you, they’d be doing it sloooooowly, so you’d have lots of time to get out of the way…

  27. I have no problem what so ever with sloths having giant claws as long as they keep the away from chalkboard!! :evil:


  29. Smilink face and gorgeous markinks!

  30. I can’t deny it – I fall madly in love with every sloth I see. That smilingk face, those hairy arms! They are my new favoritest critter in the whole world! *thud*

  31. Mary (the first) says:

    What beautiful fur!! I don’t think I knew they had that kind of markings. The smug smile is what does me in though. Love it!

  32. He has his very own Paisly print fur.

  33. 260Oakley says:

    Call now! Slothperators are standing (or hanging by) by.

  34. 260Oakley says:

    So, I left this comment after reading NTMTOM’s story, but not the headline. I guess that makes me about as swift as Smiley McSlotherson in the picture. :)

  35. Or…great minds think alike! :-)

  36. Adorable photo. Such a clever caption, too! Nice job!

  37. cellarmouse says:

    yeah, pyrit, i agree;…i was thinkin’ it, but i put the pat-on-the-back on hold whilst i failed to think of something clever…good for you act…

  38. Looka his happy little face!!! He just makes my heart warm and happy (=

  39. leaves of cat grass says:

    those sloths do seem to have it all figured out… tell me what you know, o sloths! give me your zen wisdom… (and, beep.)

  40. cellarmouse says:

    is there maybe just a touch of the ever-alluring green algae in sloth prince’s markings?…

  41. LovesDogs says:

    I need that # pronto!#@!$!

  42. Um, nothing around here is happening pronto, LovesDogs. ;)

  43. Lewis n' Clark says:

    please hold…no, really, please hold

  44. Since I work from a home-based office, it would really be no problem to have a sloth answer my phone!

    I’m just saying.

  45. I do too. My elderly dog wakes up when she hears me talking on the phone, then realizes there’s nothing in it for her and goes back to snoozing. Do you need to install grab bars all over the house for the convenience of your pet sloth? Or buy some of those rolling clothing racks? Can a sloth make a cute barky/grunty noise into the phone?

  46. So elderly dogs are like having a regular cat?
    I had an elderly cat I miss very much. If she noticed you, you had to make there be something in it for her or deal what felt like a small fragile bag of twigs yell at you until she forgot what she was doing and went back to napping.

  47. Yes, like a cat minus the yelling. Instead she makes woeful puppy dog eyes…cataracts and all.

  48. Ah, a smile and a chuckle, just when I needed it :~)

  49. Sign me up for my personal SLOTH coach, almost immediately!.!

  50. Can I have one that will cling to me?

  51. SlaveToCat says:

    Looks like the Lady in Charge of the Fast Lane at the DMV.

  52. You mean the one who has two speeds? Slow and Stop? I think I know her.

  53. I must be slow (ha ha) or inept at animal-related photo analysis, but I can’t figure out what’s holding that slothperator up. Not much weight is bearing on the paw, foot, hand that’s on the phone. It seems like the other arm, leg, front limb should be visible going straight up from the sloth and hanging from some object overhead. Is one of its legs, lower limbs extended over to the window sill behind it? Is it holding itself up suspended horizontally between a window sill and a phone? Really? Are they that strong, energetic, determined? To me it looks like it was suspended in midair, or some of its legs, arms, limbs had been photoshopped out (though I don’t think that’s what happened).

  54. cellarmouse says:

    the thing is, i don’t think he’s really going to answer the phone…he’s just leaning on it…

  55. I think the one paw and one leg are hooked onto the ledge, and the other leg is probably below, pushing against the wall, helping keep the body up and away from the wall.

    I think this position is possible for them because a) their light weight – this one is a three-toed sloth, so it only weighs 8-10 pounds, and b) their build. Here, we’ll let David Attenborough explain:

  56. Bravo! Methinks it’s naptime, too….zzzzzzzzzz

  57. Hey skippymom – poop alert! He talks about sloths pooping! 8O

  58. Don’t make this weird :)

    I think I found a new favorite animal. You’d think out there in the wilderness you need to be as fast and strong and tough as possible, that it’s no place for a creature this slow, this weak (1/4 the muscle mass of similar mammals of same size), this idiosyncratic (I have to poop in the face of danger). But somehow they get by just fine. Our specie by comparison looks to be way too high strung, are overstimulated, and overexerting ourselves all the time. Will have to meditate on that more…

  59. skippymom says:

    Ha ha, I read that first as “overtexting ourselves all the time”. And I don’t even know how to text.

  60. skippymom says:

    But I can’t listen to the sound! CRAP!!!

  61. Exactly, Skippymom. :P

  62. skippymom says:

    Oh, and I think the question needs to be asked, “What is the sound of one sloth pooping?”
    (ducks rotten tomatoes)

  63. Skippymom, I must tell you about how I found the koalas in the koala sanctuary. Hint: They were pretty invisible at first, and they gave themselves away. :P

  64. skippymom says:

    Koalas are noisy poopers?

  65. Skippymom: as my Brooklyn hipster friends would say, if a sloth poops in the forest and no one heard it, then I want to buy that album.

  66. Oakley, you beat me to the Slothperators comment, darnit! Seriously, if I weren’t so lazy *I* could instruct as a SLOTH life-coach. (Only I’m not half so cute!)

  67. bob drummond says:

    any of these lines sound familiar ???

  68. 70’s Rock For the WIN!

  69. That’s actually decent 70s rock. We deal in the egregious stuff around here. :P

  70. SlavetoCat says:

    If only I could get my unmentionables to drip dry as cute as that.

  71. OMG The little Eeps and chirs .. and BABY SLOTHS111!!!1111!.. too cute!

  72. baileysgrandmom says:

    So, did anybody else click on one of the other links, like the one about “swaddling” the tiny babies? OY! Seemingly impossible, but even CUTER than this one!

  73. I did. I’m numb from the cute.

  74. hibiscus flowers=sloth chocolate=waaaaaaaaaay too cute!

  75. cellarmouse says:

    thanks, wuyizidi, my day is made…

  76. Them are some nails! Maybe she has time to paint them while on the phone.

  77. Emmberrann says:

    The baby sloths are so cute when they’ve finished their baths and they still are dripping wet! Do they hang them up by their claws to dry? (No, of course not!, they wrap them in soft clean towels and dry them like any other wet baby, I don’t really think they’re strong enough to hang by their claws until they dry!)

  78. I’m sorry, I just can’t see sloths as cute. Every time I see one on CO, I think, “Eww! What’s THAT doing here?” However, it appears that sloths have a faithful following on CO, so I will just avert my eyes when one appears. Thank you for listening to my complaint.

  79. It’s true that even Teh Qte is in the eye of the beholder, and I admit to drawing the line at large, hairy spiders with multiple legs and venomous attitudes. *gulp*, so I can relate, K. Ives.

  80. Obviously you did not watch the video by Wuyizidi above LOL.

  81. Fird Birfle says:

    @ K:

    If you don’t tell ennybody, I’ll admit that I (somewhat) share your impressions/ responses. I do find their long arms/ claws and their faces rather quirky/ clownish….but for me, their “hair” being wiry and looking more like the texture
    of a brown astro-turf ….rather squashes my “cute” response. But, then again,
    when people rescue the bebbehs and take photos of them in onesies, I can’t actually DISLIKE them entirely; but they’re not in my “Cute” files like guinea pigs and goats though.

  82. omg ! EEEP !!

  83. bookmonstercats says:

    Do sloths have earsies? What do they listen with if they don’t (if they bother to listen at all – but why should they if they’re going to take hours to do anything about it?).

    If they have no earsies, what can you scritch?

    *Waits earnestly for a reply from a clever Cuteporter*

  84. Fird Birfle says:

    the wikipedia article states “….tiny ears”….but does not give a close-up photo of the haid.

  85. The tiny ears are hidden by their Paul McCartney 1965 mops.

    You can just see an ear sticking out in the first photo here:

    For those that may not know, the Sloth Sanctuary is still in dire need of financial help after a particularly rough year. Thank you for anything you can contribute. You can also visit and help with the babies!

  86. bookmonstercats says:

    Ah, thank you. I can now take the earnest look off my face – it was killing me.

  87. Fird Birfle says:

    After reviewing this post several times in the past 24/48 hours, I hereby officially declare that my favorite aspect from the original pic & capshon, is the part where
    Mike specifically urges us to “hurry up and call the SLOTH office now”

    Also, on a partially-related note, I would like to offer the following:


  88. Dear, here is Pilar, Prince’s mother! First, I’d like to tell you that NO PHOTOSHOP at all was used at the pic!! Indeed, Prince is used to ling himself at my son bedroom, hanging on one arm and one (sometimes two) leg, both at the same side. Prince had his mother dead when we knew about him, so I’ve worked as a volunteer for animals care and protection. Prince really LOVES cats, mainly embracing and “kissing” them. We have four of them, and Witch is his favourite. In fact, sloths have a sort of ears inside the fur, and the unique noise they make is when they are about to mate (a long whistle). Bye!!

  89. And he’s six!


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