Massive Cahones

Remember says Jorden C., if confronted by an adult-aged black bear, just be calm and act cool and merely ask the bear a question. Problem solved [clapping hands in ‘done’ motion]


  1. bookmonstercats says:

    Get the heck outta there, Jorden C, before he come back with his bigger, uglier bro, to sort y’all out, up his stump..

    Magnificent animal, but I hope I never see one that close up.

  2. kibblenibble says:

    Man: Hey, what are ya doin’ there?”

    Bear: Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to bother you. (sheepish expression) I’ll be going now.

  3. My thoughts exactly! :) LOL!

  4. Purrrfect!

  5. I know that look on the bears face was great!! “uh… nuthin… sorry…”

  6. Aw, where ya goin’ bear?

  7. lol it’s actually spelled “cojones”

  8. I’m sure that’s what intimidated Mr. Bear. Note the viewing angle.

  9. *snarfle*

  10. Well, they can be cajones if they are big enough! LOL!

  11. Mary (the first) says:

    Yeah, it took me a sec to “translate” and figure out what she meant…

  12. Psst, I think they know, but they spell it in CuteLingo on here. ;)

  13. The problem with “cahones” is that it’s how most English speakers spell it, so I’m not sure it really counts as CuteLingo.

  14. Except that it would sound more like “cajones”, which means drawers…

  15. OMG – I am surprised we didn’t see a puddle at Jorden’s feet – yikes!

  16. We can all bear witness to this act of courage. Ursine me “Impressed”.

  17. Great post!

    I hate to act as the language police, but the correct word is cojones. Cajon is a type of box. An in case you’re wondering, in Spanish the j sounds like an English h–as a result, in English the h is commonly used to phonetically spell the Spanish jota.

  18. Hey, what are you doin’ there? THAT’S what scared the bear off??? Who’da thunk? 8O

  19. My father once yelled to my mother that a black bear was approaching where she was picking berries. My mother stood up and yelled, “WHAT?” and the bear took off….

    Didn’t know they climb ladders, though. Probably the bear felt kind of vulnerable halfway up this strange apparatus, so didn’t take much to scare him or her off. Vision isn’t great, so maybe bear wasn’t aware of other large animal up in tree.

    And it’s “cojones”, if you mean what I think you mean, though it’s pronounced “cohonays”.

  20. Really cute! The bear may be powerful but is not fierce. Just a nice guy.

  21. They are pretty cowardly too. I’ve seen a bear get scared off a yard when the parrot started shrieking at his toys. Bear pretty much broke the sound bear-ier running off.

  22. I LOVE bears. Look how lovely that creature is. No wonder we made them into cuddly toys.

  23. OMG . . . I missed the part where a warm yellow puddle formed around the videographer’s shoes . . . anyway, that’s how it would have gone had I been shooting the video. :)

    Major props for grace under pressure, Jorden C.

  24. I guess that´s *why* he was wearing wellies!

  25. This is SO what I was thinking! “If that was me, there’d be this trickle running down the ladder….”

    I’m not suprised it climbed, it seems like something a black bear would do. But man, it was getting close!

  26. If it was me, the sound track would have been very different. Something along the lines of, “HOLY^@#^$%! I AM SO #$%&@^ed! GET THE #@%#$%# OUT OF HERE! OH, @#$#$!!!”

  27. Bear this in mind when purchasing your tree stand this Christmas.

  28. It wouldn’t be a true post if 260Oakley was a part of it.

  29. Ah, the classic 260Oakley ™. It never fails! :)

  30. Hehe, yes! :)

  31. Kari Callin says:

    “Oh, sorry buddy! Didn’t see you there! Awkward. Uh, you sorta blend in with the background, did you know that? Uh, guess I’ll be going now.”

  32. I only wonder, what the man is doing there, if he is no hunter? ;)

  33. Mary (the first) says:

    My guess is some kind of forest ranger or fire ranger. Those stairs went up to some kind of fairly permanent tree house/platform.

  34. Yeah, that was a pretty heavy duty ladder.

  35. Wildlife spotter? Photographer? Hiker? Ranger? Many possibilities. I think that ladder might have led to a permanent structure for birdwatching, and this bear stumbled upon it while this guy was up there so he decided to film it.

  36. “Oh, my bad.” Shakes head and backs down, muttering, “Thought a ladder up the tree was too good to be true!”

  37. The bear looks so round and shiny … I think he or she was just curious but not really hungry.

  38. That’s one thing I love about bears. They are so round. Especially when they walk (or in this case run) away. ;)

  39. Fird Birfle says:

    ooooooooo Meg said THAT WORD!!!!!

    I’m tellin’ Moooooooooooooom……..

    Disreputable Tattletale
    (HEY I hadda survive, SOMEHOW, wif’ three older & bigger
    brudders, allus givin’ me grief…)

  40. [confused] :|

  41. Fird Birfle says:

    (it wuz about Meg using the spanish word for “those male bits”)

  42. “You…you mean I can’t join your club and go in your treefort? Well…ok… :O( *runs off*”

    Rejected bear is sad :(.

  43. Yeah…… He scared the bear. I also noticed that the bear iz sad. :(

  44. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
    That is all.

  45. Nice squawking, BTW

  46. Fird Birfle says:

    I’m glad to know that Jordan C. is willing to share the Bear Necessities
    of Life in the Woods, with us !!! :)

  47. (The Original) Mel says:

    He was forgetting about his worries and his strife.

  48. Ha, ha! You’d better believe it, kid.

  49. …well, man, what a beat!

  50. Wherever I wander, wherever I roam . . . .

  51. painhertz says:

    I couldn’t be fonder of my big home…

  52. Awesome. (+ it’s “cojones” — directly from the Spanish.)

  53. Does anyone know the story behind this? Like why the person thought up a tree was a good way to get away from a bear? Or was he already up there and Bear came along? (Maybe in search of his honeypot…)

  54. Vigs.. He is in a deer stand… If you need more Info than that i can carry on.
    Not sure if he was actually up there to hunt or just film the local wild life.

  55. I forgot to add. IT looks like that bear was quite familiar with that deer stand and probably likes to nap and sun himself up there when it is not occupied by hunters.

  56. And you also forgot to add: OMG!

  57. Yep I sure did because I kept thinking that the whole time I was watching the video.

  58. Me too.

    Also was thinking that if I were filming, there would be a lot more “shaking” going on!

  59. This was very likely a deer hunter without a bear tag. He had enough gun to deal with that thing if need be, which is why he wasn’t very scared, and when the bear realized he wasn’t scared it took off.

  60. …gun *and* video camera? Hmm.

  61. PS – if I was hunting deer (and I don’t hunt, but I *have* carried rifles) I would probably NOT be schlepping around something loaded for bear. Uff da.

  62. Bears are mostly more afraid of you than them… THer are rogue mean ones out there but usually if you make a lot of noise they are OUTTA HERE see ya later bye!

    If you have spent much time in the woods it is entirely possible that you have been near a bear and not known it. They are very quiet and will sometimes sit right outside of your campsite waiting for an oppertunity to raid it for food.

  63. Somehow, I am not reassured by this information! 8O

  64. Okay, let me reassure you with this… The bears are more interested in your chocolate chip cookies and tooth paste than in you.

  65. Fird Birfle says:

    *head swivels in several directions*

    “Chocolate chip cookies???? WHERE????”

  66. Mary (the first) says:

    Wait a minute. There are chocolate chip cookies and Doritos in camping?? I may want to try that someday, after all! :D

  67. If you came camping with our family there would also be peanuts, sunflower seeds, potato chips, assorted fruits and Oreo cookies just to mention a few of the goodies we bring along. :)

  68. Fird Birfle says:

    sign me up, ka — BUT when the daytime temps are around 67 degrees & low humidity, ‘mkay??? :)

  69. Doritos, too.

  70. and Honey in honey bear bottles. :)

  71. SlaveToCat says:

    Ya know that the bear is plotting and planning where he can hide along the trail so when the guy walks by, late at night, the bear can jump out at him and growl “Hey, what are you doin’ there?” in bearish of course.

  72. “Hey, a little privacy? C’mon dude… bear? Woods?:P

  73. Apropos of absolutely nothing relating to this post, just wanted to say you have the best username EVAR!

  74. snort

  75. ROFL! ;)

  76. *snicker*

  77. SlaveToCat, you made me lol.

  78. Black bears are notoriously timid. Loud noises scare the bejeesus out of them, or if you are larger or higher up/taller than they are.

    Brown bears, however… no. Not timid.

  79. I’ve seen a few videos out here on the interwebs of black bears running away from cats. (Regular little ol’ housecats.)

  80. And those white bears? The big ones, up where it’s so cold all the time? Fuggeddabowdit.

  81. Looked like Mr. Bar was tracking the man with his nose all the way up the ladder. He even sneefed the branch where the man would have brushed against it on the way up. I totally would have squeed myself !!!!

  82. My friends hubby was napping on his deck in the great North Woods and suddenly felt something cold on the back of his neck. He jumped up to see the bear running in the other direction. I don’t know who was more scared. Still, I wouldn’t want to be up a tree with the pointy end of a bear coming towards me.

  83. Occupied….OCCUPIED!!

  84. Darn red taggie thing must have been out of order.

  85. Who expects an OCCUPIED sign on a ladder? Razzumfrazzum…

  86. Awww. That was very polite of the guy. Poor sweet thing.

  87. Love the title of this! And it’s true, I’d have been panicking.

  88. I panicked too! LOL. That was so cute though. Big bad bear was like a little kid being told off for doing something naughty…. awwww. :)

  89. “I wanna big black fuzzy bear for Chriiistmaaas….and only a big black fuzzy bear will doooo!!!” **who wants a hippoppotamus anyway???

  90. Fird Birfle says:

    I DO I wanna hippo !!!!!

  91. Mary (the first) says:

    Funny.. just at an event yesterday where quartet sang the “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas” song..

  92. breadmaker says:


  93. You can come up next time you bring one of those little baby ones..

  94. Mary (the first) says:

    I would have probably asked the bear, ” ‘sup?” and he would (hopefully) have been so disgusted at my stupidity, since clearly *I* was up, that he would have walked away with no further interest. But I do wonder what would have happened to this guy if the bear was thinking “I’m coming after my dinner, what do you think I’m doing?” and just kept on coming up the stairs.

  95. Fird Birfle says:

    heh heh

  96. I’ve walked across black bears while out hiking. They generally just look at me, trying to discern what I’ll do. If you just walk away, they seem quite happy about it.

  97. Awe. Black bears have a bad rap. They are actually very nervous animals and will run if they feel threatened rather than attack. That does not apply to the Grizzly bear lol ( aptly named)..also doesnt always apply to mother bears with cubs, but then thats true of any mother animal.

  98. So true about mother animals. I was once hissed at and chased by a goose for getting too close with my camera to a gosling. Completely terrifying. I’d rather face a black bear than another angry anserine attacker.

  99. Peruanos, you remind me of my beloved grandmother. She grew up on farms, LOVED animals more than anyone else I’ve ever known (and the feeling was always mutual), and was nearly fearless. She probably would have nursed a sick bear back to health–and she was scared to death of geese.

  100. haw! the superhero Angry Anserine Attacker and his faithful sidekick, Deputy Duck!

  101. Fird Birfle says:


  102. Oo, bears are adorbz!! It scared the begeezus out of me how fast that bear was climbing the ladder, but he was adorable, nonetheless..

  103. From the safety of waaayyy over here behind my computer screen, I can say he did look all cute just rambling along sniffing stuff. And I did like that last look backwards, as if, “I wasn’t really scared….”

  104. No doubt that man had a high caliber rifle at the ready should black bear wanted to nibble on his wellies. Thankfully the bear backed down and Jordan wasn’t into claiming a large rug sized prize.

  105. Again, I’m skeptical; see “Jim March” comments above. Maybe he did, maybe he had a big can of bear spray; maybe he just had big brass ones.

  106. Bear: “What is that tall thing up in MY tree?”
    (spends one minute contemplating the situation)
    Bear: “Um, I think that tall thing just moved.”
    Bear: “I really want my morning nap up there”
    (spends 30 seconds contemplating the situation)
    Bear: “What is that shiny metal thing?”
    (spends 30 seconds wondering)
    Bear: “Well okay, I’ll use it to climb.”
    (delicately places paw on ladder)
    Bear: “This shiny metal thing is kind of handy actually.”
    Human: “Hey, what are ya doin’ there?”
    Bear: “Holy sheet, that tall moving thing made noise. WTF? I’m outta here.”

  107. not cute! SCARY!!!!!

  108. They’re not mutually exclusive.

  109. Case in point: TIGERS

  110. That was simultaneously totally terrifying and totally adorable. I have nightmares about bears pretty much every other night despite never having seen one in the wild and growing up in cities and suburbs, so this goes straight to the primal fear centres of my brain. And yet, the way he’s shuffling around and getting distracted by branches on the way up that ladder, and the way he makes a hasty getaway after being spoken to is super cute.

    P.S. In my dreams the bears have never once attacked me or even really seemed like they were going to, they’re always sort of there, hovering around in the periphery. What’s that all about?


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