How to pick up a baby Red Panda in 5 easy steps

Step 1: Locate Cub. Snorf cub neck to determine if said cub is indeed the correct cub that needs a pickin’ (up.)

Chester Zoo - Red Panda Baby
Step 2: Brace self with nearby log (or chair leg) for support

Chester Zoo - Red Panda Baby
Step 3:  Grip cub firmly with patented Double-Wrap-Around-Huggular-Neck-Chomp-n-Claw™ motion!

Chester Zoo - Red Panda Baby
Step 4: If cub grip loosens, perform extra snarfing action at nape of neck

Chester Zoo - Baby Red Panda
Step 5: Finally, carry cub around like you own the place!

Chester Zoo - Red Panda Baby
Oh and, try not to swing the baby to and fro, it’s bad form.

Chester Zoo - Red Panda Baby
Cuteporter Sarah A. discovered these gems by RomeoOliverPool.

Comments

  1. Red pandas are just so gorgeous.

  2. zomg best CO POST EVER!!!! I love you mama red panda!

  3. I’d like to be picked up by a Red Panda as well please….

  4. I’m not sure which I want to be more, the picked-up or the picker-upper. Either way though, I have a new life goal!

  5. Redger Allan Panda: The Cub is a Pendulum ;-)

  6. Pictures 3 and 5 are just too adorable for words!

  7. classic!

  8. fat, pudgy little baby burrito! I’d snorf it too!

  9. Little Sweetie Pies

  10. I never knew I wanted to snorf a red panda cub’s neck until I saw the words “Snorf cub neck”. Now it’s all I want to do!

  11. Do your ears hang low…

  12. Red Pandas, so autumnal… leafs me wanting more.

  13. Mary (the first) says:

    Yep, and I especially love when the behbehs start to get a little big and Mama still wants to carry them around! (See Step 5. pic. for example.) Kittehs do that all the time. That’s about the time Mama says, “Go find lunch someplace else! I’m closed!” too.

  14. Is it too early to ask Santa for a red panda cub for Christmas?

  15. I’m sorry, I didn’t understand these instructions. Please sign me up for private Red Panda Cub Hugging and Picking Up -lesson. Thank you!

  16. I don’t know what you mean, these instructions could *not* be more clear! [cross-eyed head tilt]

  17. Another classic hover text laugh out loud moment!

  18. 260Oakley says:

    Ha! Do not swing the Cub Pendulum to vigorously or he may let out the Tell-Tail F*rt!

    (Oak’s mental age this morning: 7)

  19. Moi, Actually says:

    Love that terraful splayed-pandette action in the last picture. The tiny stubbular appendages, the helpless gaah of the tailio.
    My language skills are failing fast in the face of this awesome display of dual cuteness.

  20. Yes, OMG! Hovertext was delightful.

  21. ah, that little stubby tailio! can’t be beat.

  22. What’s great about the Red Panda is its Masque.

  23. Fird Birfle says:

    :)

  24. Fird Birfle says:

    Pic & Hoovertext # 4 are Teh Awesomeness.

    All Hail Teh Meg-lette !!!

  25. I can’t quite get these steps down… methinks I need to practice….
    anyone know where I can find a baby R P to practice on??

  26. SlaveToCat says:

    The first picture reminded me of the time I surprised two teenagers making out behind the high school.

    Oh to be swept off my feet by a Red Panda…….

  27. an instant CO classic–Meg, you’re at the top of your game, as always!

    wants me some pandas

  28. TrixandSam says:

    heh heh, Oak said f*rt.

  29. fell off my chair here at work laughing.
    bestest hover texting ever.

  30. The whole thing made me laugh till my eyes leaked!

  31. I love red pandas, to me they look like a cross between a cat an a teddy bear.

  32. Hilarious hovertext!!

  33. It’s hard enough schlepping a kid around with a stroller. Imagine if you had no thumbs, and had to carry it in your mouth.

  34. Poe Kansas or former East?

  35. Xactly! Headsplosive pictures of the world’s cutest animal at it’s cutest with ridiculously brilliant instructions I’d love to use some day. The engineer in me is squeeing. Which, obviously, the rest of me is doing also.

  36. Yes, but people still need to know we’re doing it right. You can never bee too sure. So please sign me up, too! Oh and in case someone forgets to bring their own cub, surely you have a couple of spare ones?

  37. Oh my goodness! I want! They are such adorable cuties!

  38. OMG, shut UP! No way! No way are those real! TOO FLIPPIN’ CUTE!

    Lurves me some red pandas.

  39. bob drummond says:

    “CARRY ME BACK TO OLD VIRGINNY “.hyuk,hyuk- Now that’s an Oldie !!!

  40. That’s why the Chinese name for panda is ‘bear cat’.

  41. “Who’s the cutest baby animal in the world? You are! Yes you are… No, I’m serious, it’s a fact – you’re a panda.”

  42. baby birdie says:

    Actually, red pandas are raccoons, not bears.

  43. Red Pandas! They are the People’s Panda!

  44. Holy cow, I’ve found my new obsession – dangly stumpy red panda limbs! I am in need of a mama red panda hug to calm me down.

  45. If mama Red Panda is too tired to carry growing beebeh, I volunteer to help her out! Especially with the neck snorfing! :-)

  46. Oh thank you Noodles, I completely forgot to make sure the course facilitators will provide the cubs. After this course I could sign up to the more advanced ones, like Picking up Baby Platypodes (apparently platypi is not technically correct) and Nuzzling Pygmy Animals.

  47. ok, you guys – you CO guys. uncle uncle! i can’t takes much mores!!!! gaaaaaah! {drop’d ded}

  48. melinda KE says:

    Talk about overload of cuteness! Love that first photo, I think I would melt if I saw that in person!

  49. I didn’t think I wanted to go back to school, but I am soooo down with that curriculum!

  50. Red Panda is Best Panda!

  51. The cub is going to be devoured.

  52. Poor little Sugarbugger. That damn fox was mean.

  53. I LOVE RED PANDAS!!!!! THERE SO CUTE!!!!!!

  54. that was not a fox it was a red panda mother

  55. me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  56. I AGREE!!!!!!!

  57. yeah!!!!!

  58. yeah there so cute!!!!!!!

  59. me toooooooooooooOoooooooooOoOoOooOo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  60. now the misspelling was completely uncalled for! no mod lounge for you!

  61. Where is the mother? Why was this fox allowed to Panda-Napp the little cutie?

    /

  62. SORRY,LOOKED LIKE A FOX

  63. Umm, that’s not a fox; it’s a red panda. The “fox” is the little cutie’s mother.

  64. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  65. Red pandas are often called firefoxes, hence the logo for the Firefox browser. :)

  66. Step 3 sounds like somethin off of squidbillies

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