Ellrod Blaartz, Dachshund of Destiny!

Yes, that is I. Author, model, scientist, notorious Bridge cheat, breaker of hearts, loved by legions, tamed by none. Where will you find Ellrod Blaartz? In the salons of Paris? The jungles of Costa Rica? The drive-thru at Wendys? Ellrod Blaartz cannot say.

Hello again. As you see, I have changed from my formal tunic of destiny into my casual T-shirt of destiny. This brings Ellrod Blaartz the comfort he deserves, and gives his many admirers a better look at my flawless coat.

So fierce, Soggydan.



  1. Work it, baby!
    (you know someone was going to say it)

  2. Fird Birfle says:

    Yes, Ellrod does seem to be focussed on his Destiny in these pics.
    Quite regal.

  3. The drive-thru at Wendy’s, the casual t-shirt of destiny — NTMTOM, I love you for always. And I super love dachshunds. They’re the best.

  4. There’s a romance book cover in Ellrod’s future, methinks! 🙂

  5. Why is Destiny always somewhere that will give the Destined One a stiff neck when s/he focuses on it?

  6. The Fabio of canines?

    He does have the hair.

  7. A prince to the manor born…dressed for casual Friday, of course.

  8. Oh BB/VA – but Destiny is not for the faint of heart! One must pass many trials to reach his/her Destiny. One of these tests, of course, is a crick in the neck. Our little Ellrod here has likely been practicing for this.

  9. i’m too sexy for my tunic, too sexy for my tunic

    love his little stubby leggies!! what a cutiepie!

  10. Ah, Mike….you’ve done it again.

  11. Doggie’s half nekkid!! Where’s the pants??
    Cute as a button!

  12. The most interesting pup in the world!

  13. Dachshunds are such drama queens. At least mine is.

  14. And the chest hair:
    new york look

  15. I think I’m in love. *_*

  16. Hmmm. Such a poser.

  17. NTMTOM is setting us up for a “Dogs of Destiny” coffee table book!! See his other entry http://cuteoverload.com/2010/03/25/its-hrothghar-chihuahua-of-destiny/
    One of my favorite posts ever!!

  18. Ellrod Blaartz is on the cover of the October issue of DQ. (Dachshund Quartely)

  19. Fird Birfle says:

    FTW, hilz 🙂

  20. Fird Birfle says:

    as opposed, to the Dairy Queen centerfold?? 😉

  21. Requiring a trip to the Crickopractor of Destiny…

  22. Yes!!! Spokesdog for Dachs Equis!

  23. Plus, it is also pronounced “DESSS-tiny!”

  24. HAW!

  25. And the attitude.

  26. or Density 🙂

  27. I imagine when he shakes water of his coat, its in super slow motion, like Charlie’s Angels, or Prince Charming from Shrek 2. ;D

  28. They so are! My parent’s dachshund throws herself around in misery when I dogsit her/ don’t do whatever she’s demanding I do. And she can cry for an hour when she wants a carrot. I love dachshunds but my nerves couldn’t take it if I had one of my own.

  29. Oh Ellrod….very distinguished and sweet! But I know the pics I’ve sent in of our doxies are equal to or exceed Ellrod’s pose, beauty, cute level, ahh factor….blah blah
    I demand a dox off!

  30. Oh.Em.Gee. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one. BRILLIANT AND AMAZING thanks for linking!!

  31. That tunic of destiny is pretty amazing. Great pics!

  32. Densely pronounced “DESSS-tiny!”

  33. D’awwwww. I lost my dox earlier this year. I miss her. We used to have a silver winter coat for our dox who would suffer the cold terribly. Dox looked like a silver bullet in that coat.

  34. There’s a drive-thru at Wendy’s???!!

  35. *snicker*

  36. One of mine too. An awesome display of Mike’s mad skillz with a Beowulf reference!!

  37. .Dairy Queen centerfold? Must look like this!

  38. Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me!!

    (think I got it right…)

  39. Aaah! There is no thread that cannot be enhanced by Young Frankenstein!

  40. Well I was going for the doggy equivalent of the GQ magazine but I like Theresa picture for the Dairy Queen one. 😆

  41. SQUEE!

  42. Yay Dawn and BB/VA! I was hoping someone would wittily ref the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man commercish. My wit just wasn’t workin’ this morning – I needed more sleep, coffee, time, talent, so on and so forth. But I knew the brilliant COers would come up with something, cuz this pup demands it! 🙂

  43. Fird Birfle says:


  44. Classic NTMTOM.

  45. Fird Birfle says:

    um, Theresa??

    Has the Old Spice Guy sent you a copy of the Restraining Order, yet??

  46. Fird Birfle says:

    (hugs) to Birdcage.

    My sincerest condolences.

  47. In the drive-thru at Wendy’s!!! That killed me.

  48. I’m so sorry for your loss, sweetie.

  49. Mine is prone to loud sighs and wistful wet eyed stares.

  50. Ellrod Blaartz, really, NTMTOM?? I am amazed not only at the cleverness of your writings, but also the names of your characters! How do you come up with these???
    *Bows humbly in the direction of the Mighty NTMTOM*

    (it occurs to me that it might be some vague and hip pop culture ref – since I’m vague but not hip nor much into pop culture, I haven’t a clue . . .)

  51. I have both a Chihuahua and a Dachshund. My house is all up in that Destiny bizniz.

  52. oh I’m misting up here. So sorry. They are such a pain-in-the-ass, emotional, waaaayyyy to smart, bullet on stubby legs. But man oh man, they are the most wonderful loyal little buggers. My condolences. I can’t even imagine when that day comes…..

  53. That is one dignified little man.

  54. I’m no pop culture expert, so I miss a lot of the references, too, but I think the fabulous names are all Not Mike’s own twisted genius. :mrgreen:

  55. Bwahaha!

  56. Wait, you have a dachshund that will settle for a carrot?!? They are crunchy and munchy and sweet and healthy and I’ve never been able to get a doxie to settle for a carrot. Not even with ranch dip. The doxie we have right now, the least she will accept will be nibbles of Spam.

    (Spam Spam Spam Spam…)

  57. Bravo, NTMTOM. Bravo.

  58. Uh, oh, it the Moderation Lounge for me. Sitting down with carrots and ranch dip.

  59. Where’s the pants? He has pants on, as Puss (from Shrek) can explain here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LVf1swl9uQ&feature=player_profilepage
    (Moderators, sorry if this sounds like advertising, but the trailer is hilarious)

  60. starlinguk says:

    *suddenly arrives*


    (I seem to be channelling an Igor today, or perhaps Lurch)

  61. Just don’t eat any of those cuc-

    Naw, not gonna say it! But those little sliced cukes are kinda dirty, so you are wise to stick with carrots and ranch dip! :mrgreen:

  62. and, though he doesn’t drink beer often, when he does, he drinks Dachs-equis

  63. victoreia says:


  64. victoreia says:

    *wild applause*

  65. Fird Birfle says:

    “Spammity Spam Spam …”

  66. I suspect that names like “Ellrod Blaartz” are at least partially the beautiful fruit of long and profound acquaintance with Mad Magazine.

  67. They are dirty on more ways than one! (wondering if I will get modded for writing “dirty”?)

  68. Ah, what are restraining orders to the Inventor of the Invisible Stable of Inter-dimensional Husbands™?

  69. EXAAACTLY, Mlle Theresa! 😈

  70. Of course! I never thought about that! That would explain it.

    I didn’t read much MM, but I remember when I was a kid visiting family friends, and the older kids had several copies of Mad Magazine which I read. In my little inn-o-cent 11-year-old eyes, I thought they were so . . . deviant. Nonetheless I read them voraciously while I was there.

  71. Fird Birfle says:

    “You rang????” 😯

  72. Restraining Order of Destiny?

  73. He’s Destiny’s Child…er…Pup…

  74. yes it is:)

  75. lol leslie and thanks dash for the awesome past blast!

  76. Moi, Actually says:

    Agreed. There’s a small pink button somewhere on my heart labelled, “Dachshunds.”
    NTMTOM doesn’t have his own button yet, but he’s working it–Ellrod Blaartz, indeed.

  77. the fold-in pages on the back were for geeks. i loved them.

  78. a few chords of scarlatti, if you would?

  79. Where did you purchase that adorable jacket?

  80. How about doing “The Lurch”?

  81. Puss in Boots – “I’m on a horse!”

  82. BWAHAHAHhaha! Harpsichord joke!

  83. I always liked to try to figure them out before folding.

    Al Jaffee rocks!!!

  84. I started collecting MAD Magazine when I was in middle school (early 80s) and stopped when it stopped being funny. I used to go to church camp every summer, and one year they confiscated my MAD Mags as not being appropriate. The funny thing was that they were reprints from the much tamer 60s issues.

  85. ahahhahah!

  86. NTMTOM. You are teh shizzle. 😎

  87. Ellrod Blaartz does not make purchases. Ellrod Blaartz has personal assistants who are tasked with all his shopping needs.

    Come to think of it, so do our critters. Hmm. 😐

  88. victoreia says:

    @Theo: you’re only realizing this now? 😉

    Every morning, I always tell my cats their mommy has to go earn their kitty food money. (Methinks they have the better end of the bargain.)

  89. Apropos and hilarious! Thank you for that link.