Will that be all, mallard?

Aristoquacks, though endangered, are most commonly seen in the countryside, since they own most of it. Distinguishing features include their simply spiffing clothing, which used to belong to Mummy and Daddy, and their oft-heard call of “Harrumph.” Unaccustomed as they are to work, aristoquacks are ever so fond of spending their days dabbling and preening and wittering, “Lads, I think the pheasants are revolting.”


This eggstavagant photo by Polly.

78 comments … read them below or add one

  1. Aurhora says:

    I love their little puffed out chests! Aristoquacks indeed. Quacker and watercress sandwiches, anyone?

    • Rose says:

      *cheesy cockney brit accent* Charmed I am to meetcha Duckie! A buscuit and a curry will do nicely for me thanks :D

      • Rose says:

        *cheesy cokney brit accent* Charmed I am to meetcha Duckie! A buscuit and a curry will do nicely for me thanks

        (this is a repost..”The mods-OH THE MODS!!!”) *shake’s tiny hamster fist at sky*

  2. debg says:

    Reminds me of Eddie Izzard’s line about the queen of England meeting a commoner: “So you’re a plumber? What on EARTH is that?”

    • Jean says:

      “Endangered” – quite! On the aristocrats’ estates they love a bit of shooting. Then a spot of fox murdering. What fun, chaps!

  3. 260Oakley says:

    “We refuse to grub in the mud for our dinner because, like many members of the British upper-crust, we suffer from an Eaton disorder.”

    • Bumble the Bunny says:

      snorkel… am i the only one that found that funny? theres a really posh school near my house and i’m friends with a girl there, but shes sooo fussy! i’m gonna use that phrase next time i see her :D

  4. jujube says:

    Egads! First, the world’s cutest sea otter and now this. Someone needs to come clean up the puddle on the floor that used to be me.

  5. Jana says:

    dey are soooooo qte. i wuvs dem. dey r all smilin’, too! are aristoquacks really endangered? egads!

  6. Juno says:

    Yes, I’ve always found pheasants rather revolting myself. Harrumph!

  7. y knot says:

    Blueblood duckies. Who knew? Let ‘em eat cake.

  8. Meaghan says:

    I love their eye makeup. It’s very Egyptian.

  9. kimmaroo says:

    pritty duckies! floofy, too!

  10. Gigi says:

    I can’t post the youtube link from work but…

    Have you heard?
    It’s in the stars
    Next July we collide with Mars
    Well, did you evah?
    What a swell party, a swell party, a swellegant, elegant party this is!

  11. OMG Baby Duckies.

    OHHHH they are soo cute and when
    you get to hold them they are the best

  12. yolanda says:

    Nobody else knows these duckies ain’t mallards. They’re slumming, they’re a much fancier duckie than a mallard. If only I knew what they are, but I think they’re from Europe and I don’t know those species at all. I just know mallards and their babies and this ain’t them. cute little tykes though.

  13. Theresa says:

    EeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeee! *thud*

    • Fird Birfle says:

      *I will posit the possibility, that this item *might* be Theresa’s moderated item, released from Tha Brig* ????

      or is there something STILL MORE skeery yet to be released???

  14. Theresa says:

    Oh noes! Help help, I’m being moderated!

  15. Fird Birfle says:

    YAY fuzzy duckies (espesh in multiples & mounds)!!

    YAY for pyrit’s vocabularic acrobatics!!!

    …..”be all, mallard” FTW !!!

    *The crowd goes wild in its appreciation*
    *Tosses metallic confetti in all directions*

  16. Diddleymaz says:
    • Bumble the Bunny says:

      Of course not! they grounds were not nearly big enough! There was also a profound loss of en-suites and built in servants, as well as the neighbours’ atrocious manners. I have reason to believe they are currently retiring from public view till the scandal dies down! :D

  17. Talizmyn says:

    My sister and I used to have a duck like this, named Fluffy. (Mine was white, and named Quacky. We were very creative.) This reminded me of ‘em.. And this photo, though.. very, very cute. :D

  18. Marie says:

    “Mallard…”

    *groans* That is a painfully good one!

  19. kodalai says:

    Well played, Pyrit.

  20. The beaks! The cute little blue beaks!

  21. threeattic says:

    Top Gear, episode 3, season 3 (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Top_Gear):

    “The British toff: though rare and endangered, they are easy to identify. They are most readily spotted in the countryside, because they own it. Distinguishing features include their clothing, which used to belong to their parents, and their characteristic mating call of ‘Harrumph.’”

    Always steal from the best, eh wot?

    • pyrit says:

      threeattic – Yes, yes, and they got it from David Attenborough, and so on, and so on. It is not called stealing.
      Also, if I use a direct quote, I put it in quotations, unless it is a quote, like Shakespeare for example, that is so well-known that quotations would be weird.
      But I like your style! Well done!