Will that be all, mallard?

Aristoquacks, though endangered, are most commonly seen in the countryside, since they own most of it. Distinguishing features include their simply spiffing clothing, which used to belong to Mummy and Daddy, and their oft-heard call of “Harrumph.” Unaccustomed as they are to work, aristoquacks are ever so fond of spending their days dabbling and preening and wittering, “Lads, I think the pheasants are revolting.”

This eggstavagant photo by Polly.


  1. I love their little puffed out chests! Aristoquacks indeed. Quacker and watercress sandwiches, anyone?

  2. *cheesy cockney brit accent* Charmed I am to meetcha Duckie! A buscuit and a curry will do nicely for me thanks :D

  3. *cheesy cokney brit accent* Charmed I am to meetcha Duckie! A buscuit and a curry will do nicely for me thanks

    (this is a repost..”The mods-OH THE MODS!!!”) *shake’s tiny hamster fist at sky*

  4. Reminds me of Eddie Izzard’s line about the queen of England meeting a commoner: “So you’re a plumber? What on EARTH is that?”

  5. “Endangered” – quite! On the aristocrats’ estates they love a bit of shooting. Then a spot of fox murdering. What fun, chaps!

  6. “We refuse to grub in the mud for our dinner because, like many members of the British upper-crust, we suffer from an Eaton disorder.”

  7. Bumble the Bunny says:

    snorkel… am i the only one that found that funny? theres a really posh school near my house and i’m friends with a girl there, but shes sooo fussy! i’m gonna use that phrase next time i see her :D

  8. We all found it funny, but sometimes we restrain ourselves so that her head doesn’t swell too much, don’t you know.

  9. Bumble the Bunny says:

    Oops… sorry all! how long does it take to deflate? :D

  10. Not to worry, I seem to experience a major brain drain ’round about 5 o’clock everyday.

  11. Egads! First, the world’s cutest sea otter and now this. Someone needs to come clean up the puddle on the floor that used to be me.

  12. *mops up puddle carefully and pours it back into a jujube shaped mold*
    You hove GOT to stop doing that!

  13. Fird Birfle says:

    *plink* *plink* 8-O

    “a jujube shaped MOLD?????”

  14. Oh, thank you! And, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but you could have left a little out of the middle of the mold. Just sayin’…

  15. *snicker*

  16. dey are soooooo qte. i wuvs dem. dey r all smilin’, too! are aristoquacks really endangered? egads!

  17. Yes, I’ve always found pheasants rather revolting myself. Harrumph!

  18. Fird Birfle says:

    How ’bout this guy & gal???

  19. Beautiful.

  20. You’re fixing them wrong. Try this: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1927,151173-243206,00.html And then invite me over.

  21. Bah ha ha ha ha. snort!

  22. Fird Birfle says:

    “Mommy, what does ‘truss’ mean….??? 8-O

  23. Blueblood duckies. Who knew? Let ’em eat cake.

  24. I love their eye makeup. It’s very Egyptian.

  25. pritty duckies! floofy, too!

  26. superb text and hovertext on this one, by the way!

  27. I can’t post the youtube link from work but…

    Have you heard?
    It’s in the stars
    Next July we collide with Mars
    Well, did you evah?
    What a swell party, a swell party, a swellegant, elegant party this is!

  28. I have heard
    Among this muck
    You are called ‘The Forgotten Duck.’

  29. HAW

  30. Fird Birfle says:

    Ah luuuuuuuuuuuves that song.

    Here’s a bit of something from that department:

  31. OMG Baby Duckies.

    OHHHH they are soo cute and when
    you get to hold them they are the best

  32. Fird Birfle says:


  33. Nobody else knows these duckies ain’t mallards. They’re slumming, they’re a much fancier duckie than a mallard. If only I knew what they are, but I think they’re from Europe and I don’t know those species at all. I just know mallards and their babies and this ain’t them. cute little tykes though.

  34. Never let the facts get in the way of a good pun.

  35. Do you mind if I print that on my business cards?

  36. Go right ahead–I’ll put in on your bill.

  37. hahahahahaha

  38. You mean it’s not there already?

  39. EeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeee! *thud*

  40. Fird Birfle says:

    *I will posit the possibility, that this item *might* be Theresa’s moderated item, released from Tha Brig* ????

    or is there something STILL MORE skeery yet to be released???

  41. Oh noes! Help help, I’m being moderated!

  42. Fird Birfle says:

    EVerybody knows…the PROPERLY worded indignation is the following line, from MP/ H. Grail:

    “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!!!” :)

    However, if it provides any momentum to the Demonstration, I will shake my fist in the air, in advocacy for ya :)

  43. (hands Theresa a copy of Mechanix Illustrated from 1978, a can of YooHoo, and a box of Good ‘N Plenty)

  44. Fird Birfle says:


  45. Whoa. Somebody needs to go on a Moderation Lounge Grocery Run. :D

  46. What? My offerings are not good enough for m’lady?
    How about a few Reader’s Digests, some Mountain Dew and a tube of Pringles?
    (all of these are among the goodies provided by Eddy when he plays escort on bathroom visits)

  47. *shedding tears laughing*

  48. You have an escort to go to the bathroom??? 8O

  49. Why of course, Gigi.
    A year or two ago there was a discussion here by people whose cats always go into the bathroom with them. As someone stated, “You’ll never pee alone.”

  50. Gigi, when you have cats, you always have an escort to go to the bathroom.

  51. hah! you do with some dogs too… Miss Schnozz used to like to come in and supervise my shower (o.O) but I moved recently and she doesn’t FIT IN THE BATHROOM anymore… it’s a sad morning in Schnozzville, since she can’t make sure I’m bathing correctly.
    fer reals. she tried this morning, and couldn’t get her butt in the door, and I got MAJOR puppehdog eyes for a solid minute, at least.

  52. Fird Birfle says:

    @ tracylee: comme ca c’est trist!!!

    Please convey our concern for Miss Schnozz’s wellbeing, to her.
    Perhaps the local fire department might be convinced to monitor your bathing skills???

  53. @tracylee, wait, you can fit in the bathroom but your doggie can’t?? Call me confused. How big is this said doggie?

  54. Let’s just arrange a delivery from Peapod: http://www.peapod.com/?001=525&002=33&006=10147&gclid=CJDjtOCBw6sCFSOAgwodL2MTsg
    I think anchovies, Mountain Dew, and Pringles are all on special this week.

  55. Fird Birfle says:

    (“Mechanix Illustrated,” 1978 = WIN!!!
    Click & Clack would be SO PROUD….:)
    Perhaps the centerfold two-page picture spread is a COMPLETELY NUDE shot of a 1954 Chevy Bel Air engine???? )

  56. *gasp* (Furiously fanning myself.)

  57. Fird Birfle says:

    hee hee

  58. *joins movement*

  59. Fird Birfle says:

    yay Rose !
    Welcome to the anti-anti-Cuteness Society!

  60. Fird Birfle says:

    YAY fuzzy duckies (espesh in multiples & mounds)!!

    YAY for pyrit’s vocabularic acrobatics!!!

    …..”be all, mallard” FTW !!!

    *The crowd goes wild in its appreciation*
    *Tosses metallic confetti in all directions*

  61. Would that be ducky-shaped metallic confetti?

  62. *waving pompoms sadly from inside Mod Lounge*

  63. You’re still in there? Gosh, you must’ve been very naughty indeed.

  64. Fird Birfle says:

    ooooh la pauvrecita Therese!!!
    comme c’est injuste!!!


    *rings doorbell of CO Offices*

  65. (joining hands with Leslie and shaking fists together in the general direction of the heartless moderators)

  66. Fird Birfle says:

    “YAY” for skippymom’s solidarity!!! j
    *begins a rousing chorus of “We Shall Oooooooooooovercooooooooome…..” *

    and, in response to kimmarroo: ” Why, natch :)!!!! “

  67. Bumble the Bunny says:

    Of course not! they grounds were not nearly big enough! There was also a profound loss of en-suites and built in servants, as well as the neighbours’ atrocious manners. I have reason to believe they are currently retiring from public view till the scandal dies down! :D

  68. My sister and I used to have a duck like this, named Fluffy. (Mine was white, and named Quacky. We were very creative.) This reminded me of ’em.. And this photo, though.. very, very cute. :D

  69. Fluffy and Quacky are the best duck names I have ever heard of.

  70. When my nephew was a toddler, I gave him a duck toy (really cute, see here:
    http://www.shopping.com/Quercetti-Quercetti-Quack-and-Flap-Duck/info ) which he took everywhere; its name was Ducky-O . :D

  71. I had 2 green tree frogs named “Fluffy” and “Curly”. There is nothing wrong with the names Fluffy and Quacky.

  72. Fird Birfle says:

    you’re right. Those are GREAT names.

    but/ and for green tree frogs!!??? Now THAT is open-mindedness at its finest, folks!!!! ;)

  73. “Mallard…”

    *groans* That is a painfully good one!

  74. Well played, Pyrit.

  75. The beaks! The cute little blue beaks!

  76. threeattic says:

    Top Gear, episode 3, season 3 (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Top_Gear):

    “The British toff: though rare and endangered, they are easy to identify. They are most readily spotted in the countryside, because they own it. Distinguishing features include their clothing, which used to belong to their parents, and their characteristic mating call of ‘Harrumph.'”

    Always steal from the best, eh wot?

  77. threeattic – Yes, yes, and they got it from David Attenborough, and so on, and so on. It is not called stealing.
    Also, if I use a direct quote, I put it in quotations, unless it is a quote, like Shakespeare for example, that is so well-known that quotations would be weird.
    But I like your style! Well done!


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