Carmaggedon Outta Here!

From Long Beach up to Lancaster
No creature that’s alive
Knows not the dire disaster
That awaits the 405.

This weekend, in Los Ahn-ga-lees
A vital freeway closes
And brings the region to its knees
With gridlock, one supposes.

The thought of driving where you like
Will seem absurd and risible.
So Angelinos, ride a bike
Even if it’s just invisible.

Photos by Flickr users (from top): allygirl520, JDACD133H



  1. tracylee says:

    NOMTOM for Poet Laureate!

  2. Where are the strings? That dog looks like a marionette puppet.

  3. Awwwwwwwww!!! Look at mommies driving helper ! (first pic)
    I have a huge white very flooffy boy that loves to ride in the car as long as he’s on a pillow on my lap. ( I’m not the driver) He looks all around & makes sure every other driver sees him & “how gorgeous he is”. (his words not mine) I love the looks he gets from people ranging from surprise to out right laughter. But, If you put him in his carrier the first 1/2 hour of the drive he quite loudly expresses his displeasure then he goes to sleep. It’s all about showing off for him I guess. What a HAM !

  4. Nevaire let the kitteh loose in da carz – varee dangerous!

  5. I also have a kitten that loves to drive and hang by the window. She can’t tolerate the carrier – If I put her in she loses all control of her bladder. Love that yearly ride to the vet. I usually smell like a litter box by the time we get there.

  6. Excellent!!!!!

  7. The last time I took my Daisy to the vet (in a carrier), she did that horrible moaning/howling sound all. the. way. there, that one that sounds like it’s coming all the way from their stomachs… I had to roll up the car window, so people wouldn’t think I was abusing her…

  8. cellarmouse says:

    oh my … just watched the 7+ minute clip from The Weekend … you really don’t want to know what caused the traffic jam … but the way people react to being stuck in a traffic jam is classic …

  9. Martha in Washington says:

    *clapping madly and cheering wildly for NTMTOM’s poetry*
    You, Sir, are a GENIUS!

  10. Poor Los Angalenos.. IT will be a long weekend.

    So glad i am not living down there durring this! 80 8O!!!

  11. Rats those were supposed to be googly eyed emoticons at the end of the sentence.

  12. Holy figs! That’s my hamster!!! JDAC is my husband 🙂 The hamster was called Greg. He’s passed about a year ago. He was such a cool little guy. He rocked his little wheel car.

    Love you Greg 🙂

  13. And I should add that JDAC and I live in Malibu. So we’re part of the 405 gridlock craziness, sorta. What a funny old morning 🙂 This has just brought such a smile to my face!

  14. they were. K80

    that one just graduated and saw the hiring statistics

  15. um, if i lived? in malibu? like, i’d never leave.

    i’d be all, like, “405 of what?”

  16. skippymom says:

    Ah, we were due for a dose of classic Nomtom poetry.

  17. Well, we don’t have a Target or a Whole Foods here, so I have to leave occasionally 🙂

    I will admit we almost never use the 405, but we’re on the 101 and 10 pretty regularly.

  18. (The Original) Mel says:

    I love Invisible Bike Dog.

  19. Copperbat says:

    brentwood, malibu, hills, bel air
    where “different” is what it’s all about
    it’s not the first time people there
    will seek an alternate route!

  20. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Bada-boom-bada-BING! Nicely done! 😀

  21. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Thanks for sharing such a great photo! 🙂

  22. It was purely unintentional 🙂 We were both surprised to our Greg here. But it’s a happy surprise!

  23. Great Aunt Kitty says:

    Kittens, on my shoulder
    Make me happy……

  24. still waiting for that coffee table book…
    /tap tap tapping fingers/

  25. brinnann says:

    LOL Love it Blair!!!

  26. serenpoly says:

    Ah, the joys of ‘long experience’ (aka being really. really old…)

    In 1984, we in Los Angeles were warned that the traffic during the Olympics would be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad… The same kind of predictions we’re hearing about Carmageddon. Maybe even worse; the news media were warning that the whole city could come to a grinding halt, and that (with the amount of goods that process through the SoCal ports, and trucks not being able to get containers _out_ of the ports, etc) it might impact the entire country’s economy.

    Well, in the event, the traffic during the Olympics was unusually light. Nobody ever knew if people took off on vacation, planned alternate times or routes, took public transit (which is not wonderful in the LA area, but does exist), just stayed home, or what, but we had two weeks of fabulous free-flowing freeways. I was working for the Olympics Arts Festival (which is part of the bid package for every Olympics, although it never gets the publicity of the sports side…), and drove merrily from venue to venue with zero problems.

    So of course, then the media went on a ‘if we can do this during the Olympics, we ought to be able to have good traffic all the time’ spree…

  27. My sister has a Sphynx cat (named Harry!) who loves to ride in the car. She likes to take him through drive-thrus. He always gets a reaction.

  28. The more the better!

  29. mandy_Reeves says:

    I heard that whole poem in my head in the voice of Nipsy Russel

  30. That hammie needs to rein in his road rage.

    I think this is a good weekend to do some gardening, cocoon with old seasons of breaking bad and call up some old friends to reconnect.

  31. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Which reminds me — look for me all next week on “Match Game ’74”

  32. skippymom says:

    Ooh! I am going go call the cable company right now and get TV so I can watch!

  33. skippymom says:

    Heheh, I was so excited I typed “going go” instead of “going to”.

  34. victoreia says:

    And the line for it gets longer every day!

  35. Lewis n' Clark says:

    oh JJ. I feel your pain. I always have to go into a room by myself when I take Lewis to the vet – the stench is too unbearable. (once, the poor guy made to the parking lot, then unfortuntely, all elimination heck broke loose)

  36. emmberrann says:

    Aherm, NTMTOM, *fingertapping in counterpoint* , we’re wait-ing…..
    But apropos of the 405, that’s what most of the people in LA will be doing — wait-ing…. Not fingertapping in counterpoint.
    By the way, I need a shoulder driving coach like the one in the pic…. Picky hated “outside” so the crate was a necessity – the more covered the better. The grated end had to be closest to me so he could mush his face on my fingers.

  37. emmberrann says:

    HA @ Skippymom and HA! ROFLMAO, no kidding!

  38. Jake of All Trades says:

    With all the attention the hawt dude photos get on here, I feel I should contribute my ogling to the lovely AllyGirl 😛 Very cute!

  39. kimmaroo says:

    i think i met greg the ham from the ‘bu a couple of years back. i was hunting for radish sprouts at the santa monica farmers’ market. he was chowing down on some ‘cress. told me he was having a light bite after a long day on the “freakin’ hamster wheel” as he put it. asked me if i cared to join him for a spirulina spritzer at the juice bar around the corner. we chatted for a couple of hours. he told me of his dream of someday appearing on CO. i can picture his smile of satisfaction beaming down on us from ham heaven. r.i.p., greg. r.i.p.

  40. The thing is I am a little worried that the kitten should be in a carrier that is held down by a seat-belt. Other than that, I would cuddle that little kitty if I was a passenger in his/her mommy’s car 😀

  41. “Comin’ in to Los Angelees
    Bringin’ in a couple of keys;
    Don’t touch my bags if you please,
    Mr. Customs Mannnn …. ” – Arlo Guthrie

    … just seemed to fit. 🙂

  42. Best. Imaginary live-action remake of Wacky Racers. Evar.

  43. Greg really did love his little car. He also took a heck of a great photo. The camera loved him. He was a cute, furry beige sausage 🙂

  44. allygirl520 says:

    Yay! That’s my Beefcake in picture 1. he’s way too big to do that now (15 lbs) so he’s a carrier kitty. Thanks for including us in this post!!