This Week, on “Antiques Roadshow”

We’re in Hardup, Utah, the Beehive State, and we can’t bee-live the treasures we’re appraising in this hive of activity! Here’s some of what you’ll see in our first hour:

A crystal pig with a digital clock embedded in its side, of which only 36,045,940 are thought to still exist today…
One-half of an elaborately decorated metal brassiere, part of the costume for the earliest American production of Wagner’s Die Walküre
This one-of-a-kind paperweight, origin uncertain…
And a bowl of hand-carved wooden fruit that may have been accidentally nibbled by a slightly inebriated Theodore Roosevelt.

How much for the paperweight, Fiona C.?


  1. I am buying… :-)

  2. The jelly mold as “one half of an elaborately decorated metal brassiere…” Here’s Snerking at you, NOMTOM!

  3. victoreia says:

    …..And I don’t want to think about the corsets!

  4. Forget the corsets. Those gals need support up top, but they need room to expand their diaphragms. :mrgreen:

  5. There’s an awesome book I read once about sex-related stuff people have patented (not erotica, but utility things) and it talked about bras — presumably designed by men — that were meant to be made of “thin steel.”

  6. Eeep! I’d hate to have to wear them in winter! 8O

  7. I saw something about that. One such design suggested adding little holes in the cups to permit normal aspiration of the skin. I can’t help but imagine a girl wearing such a thing while riding a bicycle, listening to the sound of the wind whistling through her body armor.

  8. bookmonstercats says:

    They wear flowing gowns to sing in public for a reason – there’s an awful lot of pulling it all in, pushing it all up, forcing it all out and starting all over again.

  9. Guinea Peeg Lover says:

    I want the paperweight I want the paperweight I want the paperweight gimme the paperweight gimme the paperweight I WANT IT!!!

  10. Fird Birfle says:

    well, aww-RIGHTY, then!!!! ;)

    I can understand your response. It IS rather piquant and well-crafted, is it not?

  11. fish eye no miko says:

    “One-half of an elaborately decorated metal brassiere”

    I’m reminded of “How to Train Your Dragon”… (-:

  12. It just fit on Hiccup’s head. Mom must have been quite the woman.

  13. No, the creepy thing as the dvd notes, is that the cups for Stoick’s and Hiccup’s hats are visibly different sizes.

  14. ROFLMAO… My thoughts when I just watched it.

  15. earlybird1 says:

    That paperweight is looking mighty pleased with itself. LOL!!

  16. Emmberrann says:

    That paperweight looks like it’s enjoying the sunshine, rally, deah, when you get to be a suhtain age, y’know, it feels sooo gooooood….

  17. Miss Havisham’s table?

  18. One-half of an elaborately decorated metal brassiere, part of the costume for the earliest American production of Wagner’s Die Walküre…

    Spelled correctly with umlaut and everything! Oh Baby !!!! I am SLAIN!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  19. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Cut-and-paste is our friend. :) On a related note, I enjoyed the Metropolitan Opera’s recent live performance of Die Walküre at my local movie theater.

  20. Wheeeeeeeeeee! I had an awesome two opera weeks the last two weeks of the season, with two Ariadne auf Naxoses, and two Walküres.

    NTMTÖM, yöu röck. :D

  21. Yes, Mel, I have it.

  22. bookmonstercats says:

    Does it include the Marx Brothers?

  23. It doesn’t even have the Croft brothers. :(

  24. bookmonstercats says:

    How do you DO that?

    Loving NOMTOM

  25. Mary (the first) says:

    What Mel said.

  26. (The Original) Mel says:

    I love you so much.

  27. Oh how I heart you NOMTOM.

  28. earlybird1 says:

    Never have I seen such intense glares combined with such unintelligible operatics! I need to learn German! Or Italian! Or something else – someone please enlighten moi!!

  29. @earlybird1 they are basically saying “Does my elaborately decorated metallic brassiere make my butt look big?”

  30. Actually, they are saying “We are burning in resentment because the elaborately decorated brassieres did not make it back from Thor’s forge in time for curtain.” :mrgreen:

  31. victoreia says:

    :lol: *snerk*

  32. What the heck is it that people always go to see the chicks in horned helmets? I’d rather see Rheingold or Götterdämmerung anyday.

    I mean, Götterdämmerung. Doesn’t it just sound like the party to end all parties?

  33. Madame X says:

    It *is* the party to end all parties!

  34. It’s THAT good.

  35. Emmberrann says:

    It *is* the end.

  36. *raising hand* I’ve been to the Ring Cycle five times (six next season) so I wouldn’t say I just go to see the chicks in the horned helmets.

    Also, given different productions, chicks in horned helmets aren’t too thick on the ground anymore.

  37. Personally I never got past the plotline in the second one:

    – You’re my long-lost brother!

    – You’re my long-lost sister!

    – Let’s show our filial love!

    Even George Lucas wouldn’t have gone that far. I think. I also think that I’m a giant nerd.

  38. “Party like it’s 1875.”

  39. bookmonstercats says:

    I am kilted DED!!1111!!! by that clip :)

  40. Aurhora says:

    The first couple times I looked at the pic I did not notice the cute little “paperweight” at all!

  41. earlybird1 says:

    Me either!

  42. Stealth cute!

  43. I’m having some doubts on the provenance here – If Teddy Roosevelt had chewed on wooden fruit with those horse teeth of his, they’d be in worse shape than that!

  44. “Provenance”! (takes drink)

  45. earlybird1 says:

    @Theresa: BWAHAHAHAHA! *also takes drink*

  46. Emmberrann says:

    Is that Provenance, RI?

  47. Fird Birfle says:

    nope. Je crois, qu’on parle de la Provenance, een la belle France, where thr English eez spoken, only weeth zee outrageous Frawnsche accksents….

    Entirely Untrue.

  48. Emmberrann says:

    Is that sort of like Tuscany, only not?

  49. On first inspection, the paperweight looked rather like a plate of roasted chicken.
    Or maybe I’m just hungry.

  50. PS: “Fruit!?? DEEEEE-lighted!”

  51. Fird Birfle says:

    heh. heh.

    (hides in corner)

  52. Ooh! I love these games. Let’s see, I found the apple, the candlestick, the shot glass, the basket, . . . what’s a “canid”? And where’s the Hint icon?

    Help me out, or I’ll never find the key that opens the Professor’s library.

  53. I’m betting this paperweight much prefers this fancy antique shop over traditional flea markets…

  54. baileysgrandmom says:

    And the first prize of 10 Interwebs goes to Nikki!

  55. Valliea says:

    Shouldn’t he be classed as a pupperweight?

  56. 260Oakley says:

    I would simply call him an objet d’arf

  57. Emmberrann says:

    Haw! Good one, 260O!

  58. Pizzzzzza pie girl says:

    I think the crystal pig is more like a crystal turtle. Maybe I’m not looking closely…

  59. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    You could well be right. To be honest, it wasn’t clear to me either, so I just went with “pig,” which was my first impression. :)

  60. That is EXACTLY what I thought…I didn’t even notice the pupperweight at first- just the adorable crystal turtle haha :)

  61. NTMTOM, you’re insane, thank the cute gods.

    (Although I do believe that’s a crystal turtle, not a pig. Just sayin’.)

  62. joools in PDX says:

    Thank you RR, I was just about to point that out. And seconding the motion to declare NTMTOM insane AND a national treasure!

  63. Mary (the first) says:

    I third.

  64. I fourth . . . and I can foresee more marriage proposals for NOMTOM based on the fact that, in addition to all of his other coolness, he appears to love opera . . .

  65. Fird Birfle says:

    (Said in condescending Frenschz Waiterz Voice)

    One muust peruze all zee cornairs uv a Mike tale. E.g.: “Hardup, Utah…”

    Giggling Very Unsophisticatedly.

    (tee hee)

  66. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    That’s really the name of a town in Utah, for the benefit of anyone who’s wondering: :)

  67. Fird Birfle says:

    “wow. Tha thangs we larn heah on CO!!!11!!!”

    The item that I figgered was a NOMTOM deelight….is an actual PLACEname????

    *is both befuddled & dee-lighted*

  68. victoreia says:

    Methinks they was runnin’ outta place names by then!

  69. That’s why they were Hardup.

  70. And if you get tired of that place, you can come visit No Name, Colorado.,_Colorado

  71. Teddy?!

  72. Fird Birfle says:


  73. Michelle says:

    Is also probably one of the only Utah cities not to be named for something out of the Bible.

    I have a small suspicion that everyone is a little Hardup if they are living in Utah (said by someone who Wants to Move).

  74. Noelegy says:

    The town I grew up in was once upon a time known as Toadsuck, Texas. Since the late 1800s it’s had a more conventional moniker.

  75. Fird Birfle says:

    heh heh.

  76. I think there’s still a Toadsuck Arkansas. ;)

  77. Mary (the first) says:

    Crystal turtle: $2.95. Metal brassiere: $300-400. Paperweight: priceless.

  78. SlaveToCat says:

    As a one time guest expert on Antiques Roadshow specializing in all things cute and adorable I believe the “metal brassiere” is actually the first prosthetic device developed for use after a mastectomy in1437. By the looks of this piece it was cast in Hamburg in the year of 1475. And the value, at auction, would be $12,000 – $15,000.

    The value of the creepy but kinda cute paper weight is priceless. A real national treasure.

  79. 260Oakley says:

    Wow, that’s some booby prize!

  80. Ali-baba says:

    Owwwww…..that snortlaff I just did hurt! ;-)

  81. cellarmouse says:

    really? wow.

  82. I’d be willing to take the paper weight off your hands (and into my lap)!!!!!

  83. I really love the added commentary on the posts. It’s really hilarious a lot of the time. Great job!

  84. ::tsk:: That’s not a paperweight. It’s an envelop and stamp licker.

  85. ::tsk:: That’s not a paperweight. It’s an envelope and stamp licker.

  86. I want to feed that paperweight it’s weight in bacon. Is that wrong?

  87. If feeding bacon is wrong I don’t wanna be right ;- D

  88. Hmmm. Bacon not withstanding, I believe the original design of the paperweight is Mexican. However, the present example appears to be a later American version produced by (expert glances furtively over his shoulder and lowers his voice to a confidential whisper) “reproduction.”

  89. DogCatcher says:

    Is it just me, or is freeze drying and stuffing your doggie just a little bit creepy?

    I love my beagle more than my wife but I just couldn’t do that to either of them. Opps did I just say that out loud? Note to self…”buy flowers and jewelry on the way home for the adorable little wife”.

    Hopefully the late great paper weight finds a nice home.

  90. Noelegy says:

    I’m not sure that puppers is stuffed, just posing. I think the story NTMTOM made up was just…implying that the pup was among the objets d’kitsch.

  91. Erm, I think that pup is indeed still with us.

  92. Emmberrann says:

    I have a sneakin’ suspish that the pupperweight dun’t need a new home, its probly just sittin’ and sunnin’ near its momma.

  93. Eek! A beige bat!

  94. Emmberrann says:

    That ain’t no bat, and it ain’t freeze-dried, it’s just a li’l ol’ pupper-Light-weight, settin’ and a-grinnin’ in the warm sunshine-light, and you stop pickin’ on’m, y’hear?

  95. Emmberrann says:

    P.S. I seen picshurs of beige bats-they really are-and they’s cute, and they eats bugs. Lotsa bugs.

  96. Hayley Mac says:

    That pig is a turtle

  97. PAPERWEIGHT = PRICELESS!!! She comes with a loving, tender personality and obviously loves the sun.

    Digital pig actually crystal turtle, but who’s counting…

  98. Oh noooo…. that paperweight is anything BUT cute! It is grotesque! I am totally against freeze-dried pets, and have too much respect for my animals to do this to them.

  99. PUP IS NOT STUFFED OR FREEZE-DRIED!!! she is a real, living, sunbathing chihuahua…

  100. Is the crystal with the embedded clock actually a pig? it looks more like a turtle


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