Emergency Chinchilla Dispenser

For your convenience and protection, the management has installed chinchilla dispensers. In the event of a panic attack, please follow these instructions:

  1. Tap gently on dispenser until chinchilla appears.
  2. Carefully remove chinchilla from dispenser.
  3. Snuggle chinchilla until calm.


This should come in handy on tax day, Kathy D.

Comments

  1. Every bar bathroom should have these instead of those balloon dispensers.

  2. baby birdie says:

    Where can I buy one? At Cuteco?
    First comment!!! (I’ve never done that before!)

  3. The newest PEZ dispenser. :)

  4. baby birdie says:

    >:(
    Malinki, if I had just been a few seconds quicker…

  5. baby birdie says:

    Ahhhhhhh! I wanted to post my comment below BEFORE you posted that!
    (I’m too slow for any first comments on CO.)

  6. baby birdie says:

    Finally, nobody posted right before me!

  7. Taxes? Please can you tell me where the nearest chinchilla dispenser is? I can feel myself hyperventilating just thinking about taxes!

  8. (The Original) Mel says:

    I desperately need one of these installed in my squad car.

  9. Heck with taxes, I need one all the time at the office. Everytime I get into an argument with my boss, I need a chin under my chin

  10. 260Oakley says:

    They don’t call police “the fuzz” for nothing.

  11. Baby Chinchillas are at their own level of head-explodingly cute. So if there are gonna be dispensers for the little guys they’re at the very least going to need to install a towel dispenser right next to it.

  12. HA! love your comment :)

    and who couldn’t use a chinchilla to snuggle every now and then? makes me miss my lionhead bunny, he looked like a floofy chinchilla :)

  13. bookmonstercats says:

    One for the office, one for my handbag, one next to my bed in case I suffer insomnia, like now. That should do it. Yep, I’ll take three.

  14. But why is it in a cage? Is this how people keep it as a pet? Or do you think it is in some pet shop? I have never seen a chinchilla in real life.

  15. NTMTOM, you had me at the title of the post. Everyone needs an Emergency Chinchilla Dispenser! And I see that this one comes in chocolate! Bonus.

  16. (The Original) Mel says:

    I need a drop-down kitten huffing device as well.

  17. So THAT’s what’s in those overhead ‘oxygen’ devices on airplanes, a D-DKHD.
    In case of emergency, your D-DKHD will drop down automatically from the access panel overhead. Remain calm; inhale deeply. The kitten will not inflate; this is normal. However, in case of Sphinx deployment, you’re SOL.
    Adjust your own kitten before assisting another passenger.

  18. Lavralee Snooth says:

    Need two. STAT.
    (must. not. hyperventilate.)

  19. I’ve never seen a grey chinchilla before: the most delicate shades of pink in the ears and nose! With a matchinks dispenser!!
    Dibs on ear noms!

  20. The dispenser needs a re-design. You can’t ask a panicked personoid to tap-tap-tap gently. That’s like asking a highly-caffeinated border collie to thread a needle! It should simply respond to the proximate combination of high-frequency vibrations and human sweat. Back! to the dwawing boawd!

  21. victoreia says:

    Can I get one for my office, please?

  22. victoreia says:

    *snerk*

  23. I’d like to order one for every room of my house.
    <3

  24. My first thought when I read Malinki’s comment was “Why would any bar bathroom have balloon dispensers??” *scratches head*

    …. and then I realized “Oh! Right. ‘Balloons’. Got it.” ;P

  25. LOL you will get one sooner or later. you almost did it this time.

  26. usually small animals think of their cages as their safe harbor
    it is also a good idea to keep them caged when they are not being supervised as well some things are just so tempting to chomp on such as electrical cords and removing wall paper chunks.

  27. Chinchillas can and will eat everything in sight (walls, cables, plastic, metal, etc). They need a safe home (cage) and a safe play space (playpen of some kind or a room that has been chin-proofed). I have five. Monsters, the lot of them.

  28. janet2buns says:

    You can’t see in the picture how impossibly tiny chins’ feet are in proportion to the rest of them. It ups their adorability factor considerably.

  29. Ali-baba says:

    Snerk, I say! And I am unanimous in that!

  30. Ali-baba says:

    But wait, there’s MORE! When you order your ECD today, you not only get the D-DKHD in your choice of marmie, tabby or calico(other/exotic breeds just $1 more) you get the Puppy Bref 3000 for FREE (just pay separate shipping and handling) ! Just one whiff of that special scent and all your cares will melt away! Call now, operators are standing by. 1-555-CuteNow ;-)

  31. I used to have those dispensers for my chinchillas and guinea pig. They could hold a lot of food. It’s been well over 25 years since I used them, but they are pretty big, and a chin can make itself pretty cozy in one. cute pic as usual.

  32. But of course, every squad car could have a “calming chinchilla dispenser” to calm those violent thugs in the back and lower the blood pressure, making everyone relaxed.

  33. Ali-baba says:

    I sorry. Too many posts.
    *takes a seat and delicately sips a muy grande margarita on the rocks*

  34. Chill with a Chinchilla.

  35. I’m still boggling over the mental image of a border collie, caffeinated or not, threading a needle. :shock:

  36. ;)

  37. It’s just that my Post-Fu is strong. Stronger than White Crane, Tiger, even stronger than Dragon.

    If the internet were a martial art, I’d be bald, blind, and call all the kiddies Grasshopper :)

  38. Andi from NC says:

    yeah, it took me a minute too…. :)

  39. April's NaNa says:

    “And I am unanimous on that!” Snerk! Hi,Mrs. Slocum :-)

  40. April's NaNa says:

    Mod Lounge, Again !? Looking around …I like what you’ve done with the place …quite comfy, actually.. :-)

  41. tracylee says:

    chinchilla-ree
    chinchilla-ree
    chin-chin-chill-ee!
    a chinny-chin’s lucky as lucky can be!

  42. April's NaNa says:

    I only said what Ali said and I get moderated. If I knew what caused it I promise I would NOT do or say it anymore, Scout’s honor!

  43. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!!! says:

    “YAY” for new commenter!!! Welcome to Sillyland. Or Nature is Amazing Land.

  44. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!!! says:

    “Missed it, by *THAT* much!!!”

    See; the original tv program “Get Smart”.

  45. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!!! says:

    *finds a Cute CPR volunteer to assist Gigi*

  46. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!!! says:

    *Orders 50 E.C.D.’s and five chinchillas each to install around the CuteOverload Emergency Ward hallways*

    These will gonna GREATLY reduce the overtime pay Nurse Steffie gets.

  47. I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted anything this much.

  48. Ali-baba says:

    Hey- what’s the record for mod lounge time? Do I win?

    (Humbly offers a dark chocolate ganache with fresh raspberries to the mod lounge gods)

  49. Hello, and thanks for the suggestion. I was wondering where to order from: I should have known to go straight to Cuteco. *Looking up their number now and grabbing for credit card.”

  50. sunnylessmum says:

    First time I saw a chin in person, it was someone’s pet, and the chin took a dust bath. Talk about upping the adorability factor! I just about died from the cute! And this person just loved their chin so much, and took such good care of him or her. :)

  51. Me too. Hyper-caffed Border Collies are liable to explode when they reach too high a vibration frequency. A Bad Idea All Around. Don’t try this at home.

  52. I was thinking more like Master Po…

  53. I still don’t understand.

  54. the dust baths are soo cute!! You can check one out on youtube

  55. They mean condom dispensers. xD

  56. Is there an app for locating these ECD’s? I need one, stat! (app *and* ECD)

  57. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!! says:

    “…need a chin, under my chin…” :)

  58. doomchild says:

    Thank you CO. I actually have been suffering from panic attacks for the last 7 years, and next time I get one I’ll just start thinking about chinchillas and how I would need one right now.. this post really just might have helped me to cope a bit better :)

  59. doomchild says:

    What takes? I’ve been waiting for my order of Puppy Bref 3000 (with extra bref-refiller) for whole MINUTE now!

    Hey… are there car fresheners with Puppy Bref smell? No? Brb… gotta go start a business and get rich.

  60. It was a trick! LOL I knew the whole time. I wanted to see if anyone would write it hehehehe

  61. I ordered TWO, one in Maine Coon and one in Birman; all that extra floofage for just One Dollar.
    Bargain Bargain Bargain!

  62. baby birdie says:

    Does it come in Baby Bunny? A bun dispenser would be soooo handy.

  63. DjinnGirl says:

    This product works on young men in hormonal overdrive, too ;)

    My male friend, who absolutely melts at the sight of a chinchilla, had mine stuffed in his jacket while out for a walk. A much younger male acquaintance pulled up, after a night on the town, and proceeded to expound on his success at the bar. Basically, if he’d been a gorilla, he would have been pounding his chest. So anyway, my friend had enough and whipped the chinchilla out, right under the young guy’s nose!

    There is no defense against that kind of cuteness. He instantly melted and all he could say was, “Awwwwwww!”

  64. Io qualche anno fà avevo un cincillà,poi abitando in una casa non molto grande lo abbiamo dato a un ragazzo che ha una villa in campagna,ma quando lo lasciavamo in bagno a saltare si andava a infilare sotto il bidè ci mettevamo sempre un sacco di tempo a tirarlo fuori :)

  65. I few years ago I had a chinchilla, then living in a house not very big, and we gave a guy who has a villa in the countryside, but when we left we went to the bathroom to jump to slide it under the bidet we would always be a lot of time to pull out

    it’s much funnier in italian. especially if you, like me, don’t know italian.

  66. Grazie Sharpy.Google traduttore non traduce molto bene.Ma l’ha tradotto da schifo.

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