Know Your Rejected James Bond Villains!

#19: Dr. Hugo Liebenpatchen, inventor of the “Love Bomb,” a weaponized aphrodisiac that he threatened to disperse in New York subway tunnels unless he was paid (pause for dramatic effect) one million dollars.


Eeee-veeel never looked so adorable, Anessa W.

79 comments … read them below or add one

  1. Theresa says:

    Oooh, check out the UNDERbite!

  2. Winston says:

    love it to death…..

  3. Queen of Dork says:

    It’s scaring me. It will kill me. *hides under bed*

  4. julie b says:

    Love is blind…in one eye.

  5. Queen of Dork says:

    I’ll bet the patched eye is looking in a completely different direction than the eye that’s showing. This pup can cross the street so effectively. Remember when you were little and your mom said, “look both ways before you cross the street.” (sternly, she said it). Well, this little pup doesn’t have to move his head from side to side I bet after getting that patch off his eye. I’ll bet he can look both ways at the same time.

  6. Gigi says:

    Would you settle for one million ear scriches you hansom little villain?

  7. o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!! says:

    Nice “Dramatic Effect”, there, NTM!!!! :)

  8. kibblenibble says:

    The cutest leetle smooshed muzzlepowsche ever. Awww.

  9. shay says:

    Am I the only one who doesn’t find deformed dogs cute? Talk about genetic problems….

    • dub1 says:

      Agree. This is more like AIEEEEEEEE! veeel.

    • Sar says:

      Oh stop it you two! I think he’s perfect and I would snorgle him to bits, under bite and all!! :)

    • Mary (the first) says:

      The cuteness is in the attitude and the outfit on top of the somewhat askew face. The juxtaposition is where the cuteness lies!

      • o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!! says:

        “askew” and “juxtaposition” = A + Vocabulary for the weekend!!!!

    • Meliss says:

      Poor little thing…this just ain’t right. It’s already got enough problems.
      People people people, when will you stop humiliating your canines?!?
      Starting a grassroots movement now: NO MORE CLOTHES FOR DOGS!
      C’mon now, say it with me.. DOG DRESSES SUCK! DOG DRESSES SUCK!
      Oops, I just heard a bing–gotta get FooFoo’s prom gown outta the dryer before it wrinkles…

  10. earlybird1 says:

    What an ebil little face! I can’t help myself! (scoops up Dogter Ebil and runs away)

  11. Chantal says:

    It looks like someone bred a dog and a mogwai. Don’t feed him after midnight!

  12. Theo says:

    Uhhh…?

  13. eknirb says:

    goodBYE meester bond

  14. Copperbat says:

    oh deary me. oh. that’s the cutest dog I’ve seen in ages.

  15. (The Original) Mel says:

    The toof owns my soul.

  16. michelle adams says:

    i love it that someone loves this baby enough to dress him up, care for those little bottom fangs, and write mini-stories about him, even though he does not meet breed standards. A lot of breeders (and people) would have thrown this pup off to the side to die. That said, didn’t we just have Dr. No make an appearance? Let us hope they never pair up! The desirably dangerous duo would make me derangerous!!!!

  17. MommaMackie says:

    Japanese Chin? Red phase, which is quite unusual. I love the little rascals and I WANT ONE, sooooo badly…and he’s quite lubly, underbite and all! The jutting fangs give a definite look of evil distinction…..

  18. Theresa says:

    No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to plotz.

  19. dmaufer says:

  20. dmaufer says:

    Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to the Mod Lounge I go…..

  21. Queen of Dork says:

    Have you guys seen this thing? It just TOTALLY cracks me up! I’m sure the guys in the video are not hurting the cats and the parts where the guy can’t find his cat and the other guy has a dog…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This just totally cracks me up! And for some reason, this dog’s teeth reminded me of this video!

    • Frickin hilarious!!! Especially the semi-automatic kissing machine! I do that to my cats all the time…. ;)

    • earlybird1 says:

      That is hilarious! XD

    • Gigi says:

      I had seen the first video they made but not this one.
      These guys are nuts! I love it!

    • Kar says:

      I remember reading an article about this guy. He ended up getting these proposals after the first vid came out. Nothing makes the heart of a cat lady sing like a man who understands them.

    • DillPig says:

      Yep, an oldie but a goodie. I still dig out this to watch whenever I need to be cheered up. I don’t know which are cuter – the cats or the engineers! No wonder the guy got a whole lot of proposals – he’s kind of like George Clooney’s nerdy little brother – and with a heart-healthy side-order of darling kittehs and cute side-kicks!

  22. I can so see this doggie in the next Cats and Dogs movie! :)

  23. Nissa says:

    This is one of those cases of “So Ugly it’s Cute”

  24. Jade says:

    Shouldn’t it be PAWS for effect?!

    • o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!! says:

      Indeed, Ma’am. Your logique, as well as your verbal acrobatics, are unassailable.

  25. faith says:

    I’m sorry, this is the most heinous looking dog ever. I think it must immediately be filed under the “sad” section of “cute or sad?”

  26. hirish says:

    I make feigned sympathetic response noises all the time to my co-workers’ spouses at Christmas parties; who knew that was practice for cat-yodelling!?
    I wonder how many marriage proposals Paul has by now . . . including this one . . .

    • Queen of Dork says:

      *raises hand* Guilty.

    • Queen of Dork says:

      I tried to get my cat Albert to yodel. I tried all of the methods prescribed in Paul’s video but Albert just purred. And then he just jumped on my desk and almost broke my computer. I guess I just don’t have the hang of this. Or he doesn’t. Or both or something. We may require some at home tutoring.

      • Queen of Dork says:

        Oh no! Now my cat is holding me hostage! I’m trying to get away….(ehn!) He said the conditions of my release include no more cat yodeling lessons. Okay. I can do that. But also, I must now import caviar from the glorious country, Russia! Crap! I can’t afford that. I told him his demands for my release are unreasonable! (whine). He’s not budging. Gosh! He even said I must fish for catfish at Lake Mead for him! I can’t catch those things with a rod and reel! Good Lord! Those catfish in that lake probably weigh more than I do! Help! I offered him canned tuna and salmon but he said that’s not good enough after what I put him through! (What did I put him through? I pet him 7,014 times a day and kiss and feed him. What did I put him through?!!)

        Okay. This is just me being really bored and silly. :)

        • Theresa says:

          I thought I saw you on “River Monsters”!

        • Theresa says:

          PS Is there some kind of Ee-Vihl Genius Kitty Dispenser out there is the desert, Queenie? How do you get all these drama queen kitties?

          • o no he/ she/ it DI-unt!!! says:

            Th — she told me, that SK has produced a Mentor Manual that Albert is studying diligently while laughing a maniacal chuckle under the bed each day.

          • Queen of Dork says:

            Theresa, I don’t know how this keeps happening to me. I think I’m some sort of a magnet for all of this Kitty Drama. crap.

  27. BatBlaster says:

    Oh come on, whats the worse that weapon can do? As if Bond didn’t get enough girls…

  28. Gaz says:

    Arrf, matey. Yer booty be mine.

    I think that those who really love animals find cuteness in ALL, whether or not that animal looks “perfect” or not. Underbites are cute, but one-toothed underbites slay me. Kudos to the humans who just adore this precious pup.

    Also, I want an eye patch like that.

    • Gaz says:

      Okay…I just looked again and saw the other toofer blending in amongst the white on the muzzle. Woops.

      • Queen of Dork says:

        I think his mommy said no to the dentist’s suggestion of maybe braces? But no worries. He’s ADORABLE the way he is. Even if it does look as though SOMEBODY (ahem. God? You ‘fessing up to this one?) just sort tossed some teeth like things in the direction of his mouth and made a bet as to whether or not they would land in the right spots in his gums.

        • Queen of Dork says:

          No really! I’m so thinking about this dog’s mouth that I have to reply to myself. It’s as if God was up there in heaven with all of our passed on loved ones, human and furry-four legged, and was like, “Check this out!” (say in big, booming voice). “Watch this!” And then He shook these domino chip things in his fist like a gambler with dice at the craps table. And then He flings the bits at this dog’s face. FWAP!! “Check it out, you guys!” Hahahaha! Look at his “teeth!” Look at his “teeth!”

          Just joking around here, y’all. :)

    • Theresa says:

      The eye-patch looks home-made. Are you handy? :mrgreen:

  29. Apoc says:

    That is one uuuuuugly dog.

  30. Andi from NC says:

    No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to squee…..

  31. Kristy says:

    HILARIOUS INTRO!!!! Thanks for the laugh Mike…no, the other Mike.

  32. Ruth says:

    I am seriously in love with this dog. If I saw him available for adoption, he’d be in my lap right now. So adorbs.

  33. Anna says:

    he’s like a valentines day piratte!! aaaaaarrggg!!!!!!

  34. ElishaB. says:

    It’s Captain………Captain Jack Sparrow……..and why is all the rum gone?!

  35. bargles says:

    Hahahaha! “Liebenpatchen!”