Monks ‘n’ Racks

From the Can’t Make This Stuff Up Files:
This important news story just caught our attention by the alert cuteporters over at DListed. Apparently, a woman walked into the Amherst County Courthouse toting this petite monkular “daughter,” dressed in diapers and a pink dress, in her brassiere:

When an official asked why she had the monkey in her bra, the woman was quoted as saying, “Well, would you leave your child at home? She has to be close to me.” More on this story over at the Lynchburg, Virginia News & Advance.

79 comments … read them below or add one

  1. hirish says:

    Stinkin’ cute but sad :( Some people need more human contact/reality/tetanus shots.
    But who among us wouldn’t want a set of marmos in our bras?

  2. victoreia says:

    Does this mean I should be taking my fur-kids to work? I don’t want to neglect them….. (Although neither would fit in my bra anymore. Maybe a double-decker carrier like Maru’s, on wheels….)

  3. baby birdie says:

    Monkeh is like, “Yup. It’s edurcayshonnal.”

  4. Kar says:
  5. (The Original) Mel says:

    I haven’t worn a bra in years. Maybe I should.

    • O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

      Look INSIDE the cups before trying it on. It might have gained occupants while in the dresser drawer …..

  6. (The Original) Mel says:

    P.s. Marmoset there’d be days like this!!!

  7. Theresa says:

    Marmoset! Marmoset!

  8. chanpon says:

    OMG, bitty monkeh also has bitty woobie! *faints*

  9. faith says:

    OMG want!

  10. Meow says:

    ” Asked who let the monkey through the metal detector, deputies quipped: “It wasn’t armed.” ”

    I think I’m moving to Virginia.

  11. Nikki says:

    This was on the news the other night here in Northern Virginia. She evidently bought the baby marmoset on eBay. Who would sell a baby marmoset on eBay?!

    • marthava says:

      *waves from work in Ashburn*

    • bagoguts says:

      Used to be eBay prohibited live animal sales… looks like they’re hurtin for business. This is so sad… :-(

      • arachnophile says:

        I agree. This is one of those “pets” that’s destined to become a crazed adolescent. I really wish people understood that primates make lousy pets. It hurts them in the long run.

        Yes, they are VERY VERY cute!

  12. frogboots says:

    well, completely adorable, of course, and much cuter than a human baby.
    but – the lady found this little marmoset on eBay????

    (for kicks, I looked up marmosets as pets online, and found a site that tells me that marmosets grow up to behave like human teenagers – this should be an instant turn-off to anyone looking to buy a marmoset).

    • Wend says:

      As I am currently the owner, er, I mean mother of two teenaged humans… well, it would certainly make me change my mind.
      On the other hand… maybe I could sell two slightly used (but as yet un-humanized) teens on ebay?

      • victoreia says:

        *snicker*

        The modern version of selling your kids to the gypsies, perhaps? (And yes, my father regularly told my sister and I the gypsies were just waiting for us….)

        • Wend says:

          Oh, yeah, I used to pop my head out the door, regularly, when the kids were younger, just looking for those gypsies to come on by.

          • (The Original) Mel says:

            My grandmother used to threaten to call the po-lice on me. In a bizarre twist of fate, I am now a po-lice and totally understand when small children see me and burst into tears.

          • O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

            *feels traumatized,
            for the small children in question*

      • Meaghan says:

        I read an article once about a guy who tried to sell his ten-year-old child on the internet. From the ad you could clearly see it was a joke, but he got a visit from social workers anyway.

    • Kar says:

      How is that an enticement? They have mood swings every five minutes, sleep all day and listen to emo music?

      • Kathleen in Canada says:

        With two teenagers of my own a description like that has me running the opposite direction! My oldest is into something called “emo-screamo”. It sounds like someone in pain is frantically trying to escape from her laptop.

  13. Daphne Moss says:

    Face of monkeh behbe says it all: Hep me. Please hep me. I’m a monkey; I wanna swing in trees and throw my poop….this lady is freakin nuts…Hep me!

  14. April's NaNa says:

    @ Mel, the original– I thought you were Oakley for a moment there! Good one!

  15. 260Oakley says:

    So what’s the problem here? I assume the marmoset is a member of her local monkey bar association.

    Or maybe she’s an extra left over from an episode of the (under)Wire.

  16. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    One of my FB friends lives in said town & says many folks there march the beat of their own drummers. She may be starting a blog about the place, including looking up this monkeh’s “mom”. Promise to post if the lady agrees to talk….

    • hirish says:

      Some march to their own drummer, but I’m hearing kazoos and slide-whistle circus music on this one: ya da dadadada da da duh da —

  17. Lauren says:

    I actually live in this town, and I was excited to learn that my little hometown was featured on this amazing website…right up until I read the actual circumstances surrounding the picture.

    Sigh. Such are the pitfalls of living in a hick town.

  18. Winston says:

    adorable. absolutely cute

  19. Kelly Ann says:

    *facepalm* Marmosets are cute as all get out. They’re lovely little monkies. But THEY AREN’T PETS! Why does stupid stuff happen with people keeping inappropriate animals as pets within a few counties of me? Why?

    • O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

      *registers Kelly Ann for Existentialism 101 at her local community college*

  20. dmaufer says:

    This story is 10 kinds of wrong! (but love the fuzzy little face!)

  21. Meaghan says:

    My brother dated a girl who had two pet monkeys. I don’t know what species, but they resembled small baboons. The male didn’t like people and was kept shut away most of the time as a result, but the female was there all the time. She had the approximate size, intelligence and spatial abilities of a human toddler. She wore diapers and baby clothes and ate off people’s plates. We got her a Christmas present but she was more interested in playing with the wrapping. After my brother broke up with the girl, my mom speculated that it was bad for the monkey to have so many father figures come and go in her life.

  22. Hon Glad says:

    My shirt doesn’t have the capacity, nor are the buttons strong enough, to contain my cats. So I don’t think I’ll be trying this.

  23. Fleurdamour says:

    It’s a mammoset.

  24. WendyPinNJ says:

    I’m sorry, but am I really the only one who is cringing at this story. Sure the baby marmoset is adorable. I love baby marmosets. I want to pop one in my mouf and eat it as a sweet little floofy treat. But they are not PETS!

    This woman is WHACK. And that sure as hell is NOT her daughter! It’s a wild animal! And how is it OK, or even legal, to keep this as a pet?

    YUCK! and NO!

  25. WendyPinNJ says:

    Not to mention those are some really FUGLY clothes she’s dressing that poor little thing in!

  26. BUFFEH says:

    This is how it should be!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a real Marmoset Mum

    http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2011/03/worlds-smallest-monkeys-born-at-perth-zoo.html

  27. e-beth says:

    I checked ebay-I didn’t see any marmosets for sale, BUT-
    they had plenty of MARMOSET DIAPER COVERS!!!!!
    I’m thinking she got it somewhere else.

  28. arachnophile says:

    The fact that they won’t allow ferrets in California but they’ll let ANYONE own one of these in anywhere in North America is madness.

    Cute Marmie is Cute but this is a sad story overall. I don’t think I’m ’nuffing here, I really don’t.

  29. talor says:

    so cute I love it!!.:)

  30. trinlayk says:

    poor monkeh, dressed as a “spring” when she’s clearly a “winter”.

  31. gabriella says:

    I know its cute but its moraly wrong to treat a animal like a baby as I recall. So whill it may be cute that person may have made the animal do it… which is also moraly wrong so I would never ever on the face of this earth do it.