Time for the C.O. Traffic Report

Tom Nom here in CuteCopter One… We’ve got slow-and-go lemmings backed up on the Ocean Blvd. exit… Three-kitten pileup, clearing on the northbound I-92… And we’re getting reports of a big-rig stuck in the tunnel, so avoid that area…

Photo by D-tizzle, fo’ shizzle.



  1. One shell was not enough protection.

  2. baby birdie says:

    Tortoise bomb shelter?

  3. 260Oakley says:

    Looks like a Shell tanker truck.

  4. A kitten pile-up? Like this old chestnut:

  5. Judging by that smirk, he doesn’t feel too guilty about this.

  6. Ocean Blvd exit . . . the lemmings get off there every time. Different lemmings, but they get off there every time.

  7. traffic warden says:

    Does he beep when he goes into reverse ?

    (Did they build this thing around him or is that a photoshop special ?)

  8. Tax payer says:

    People, that is the 3 million dollars Florida turtle tunnel.

  9. Gigi (the original one) says:

    Not enough (Turtle) wax?

  10. That’s one happy tortoise/turtle. I don’t know how to tell the difference.

  11. Tortoise – Sulcata Tortoise and they get big !!!
    What a handsome fellow. I miss my old guy Geezer. I rescued him from an unfit owner but had to re-home him once I got him over his respiratory infection. He was almost 2 ft long and over 20 lbs when I found him is forever home. And that’s still a baby!

  12. poor turtle thinks he’s a hermit crab :/

  13. OHNOOOOO! You did not say that!!!!!!!!!! ;-P

  14. Wow, those are some crazy-looking legs!

  15. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    YAY for the name Geezer!!! YAY for ResQte!!! YAY for nursing a critter through a respiratory infection!!!
    [As a naive civilian, I never would have even bothered to consider a possibility that a turtle/ tortoise could *GET* a respiratory infection, never mind getting OVER one….]

    MJ is hereby awarded the
    Bestest, Most-Awesome Animal Care Saint for the Month!!!

    *waves magic fairy wand, to make it so*

  16. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    I am still insanely dreamy over that lil’ hermit crab….

    Who’da thunk an ailurophile would get a Cupid’s Arrow, in the heart,
    from that little military fellow? 🙂

  17. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    so profoundly true. Just looked back and SHA-ZAM them ‘r some tough-lookin’ cowboy chaps, indeed!!

  18. Martha in Washington says:

    Thanks for the report Tom Nom. Since I’ll never make it to work on time in that traffic I think I just go back to bed. WooHoo!

  19. Hon Glad says:

    Tortoise models his blue raincoat.

  20. Oh, those look like my legs at the end of the winter! A little exfoliant and some Aveeno, they’ll be like baby’s bottoms in no time. :mrgreen:

  21. StormCat42 says:

    But then the other Turtle’s will laugh at him, ’cause he’s got babies bottoms on his legs!!! Oh the horror!!!

  22. How??? When??? OMG…. How did he get in there?
    and need I say it

  23. Ha! I live close to a railroad bridge that is not too high, and every now and then some silly truck will get stuck. I always wonder, “How did you do that? There are warning signs and flashing lights all over. Were you totally not looking?” … I would much rather see a cute guy like this stuck near my house!

  24. They’re just jealous. :mrgreen:

  25. BTW I really would like to see this kitten pileup. Film @ 11?

  26. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    *”jealous tortoises” = 🙂 *

  27. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Excellent Logic, MinW 🙂

  28. Buga-Mom says:

    Hmm, might be worth the dock in pay for being late – just for the chance to peek at the kitten pile-up =)

  29. Legrocks!

  30. starling says:

    We had a really pretty stone railroad bridge just around the corner, but the last doubledecker bus hit it so hard they’ve had to replace it with an ugly concrete one. All the buses now have a big sign in the front saying “remember you’re driving a doubledecker”, but it doesn’t seem to help.

  31. Yup, that’d be it. Gonna need the Claws of Life to extricate these little puffballs.

  32. Very good!!

  33. LOL!!!!

  34. MJ deserves the award! Thanks for helping one of our shelled friends

  35. They are incredibly cute animals…and despite the name they are very social and need at least 3 or 4 in a crabitat to be happy. They’re not too easy to keep, with very specific needs regarding substrate, humidity, temperature. And despite being scavengers, they can be extremely picky about food. They also have definite personalities and are nocturnal. Well, I could go on and on about them…but I won’t. Let’s get back to darling turtles/tortoises.

  36. Mary (the first) says:

    Amazing. His legs are fascinating, I’ve never seen them up close and .. “extended” like that. Lovely! And I think someone must have made that little shelter for him, looks like it was cut off at just the right height. I wonder why he likes it though.. shade? protection from predators? just for “fun”??

  37. No beeper required: Sulcata torts don’t back up. EVER. Trust me on this.

    (Sulcata rescuer with six of these torts in residence, from 5 lbs to 70 lbs.)

  38. Count me in with the yays!!

    What a dear heart and lucky person to have saved and loved Geezer. Any pics??

  39. Haha! I love that look in the eye and face! He looks to me the happiest little turtle in town. Makes me want to hug a turtle. If only they were more huggable.

  40. Do they have turtle agility courses? :mrgreen:

  41. victoreia says:

    70 lbs.? 😯

  42. wow, just like Storrow drive…

  43. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Well, thanks for the background/ logistical data!!!11!!

  44. skippymom says:


  45. skippymom says:

    His arms are stone walls!

  46. skippymom says:

    Hello, Boston driver!

  47. I think there may be a certain walrus looking for that bucket…

  48. darkshines says:

    I love tortoises, they look like grumpy old people, even when they are small and young, lol! We saw an epic battle at Bristol Zo once where one of these guys sat on an iguana’s tail. The poor iguana couldn’t get free no matter what he did! At one point another iguana came over, we thought he was going to “help” but he started attacking the traped one! In the end the iguana twisted itself free but it looked like it had broken its tail ear the end. We told the keepers and they said it did happen now and again. I wouldn’t have kept them together if I thouht that was GOING to happen, let alone knew that it did!

  49. baileysgrandmom says:

    Yes, but there is only one obstacle, and each turtle gets only one day to complete it. HA!

  50. *snerk*

  51. “crabitat” – my new favorite word! Also good for those cranky days (“I’m going to go sulk in my crabitat”)

  52. Emmberrann says:

    Almost as much fun as waiting for them to extricate mishaps in traffic!

  53. the underpass just past the Longfellow Bridge!

  54. If it helps even one hermie get better treatment, it’s my pleasure.

  55. Yep. These torts are the largest continental species, and the third largest species of tortoise after the Galapagos and Aldabra torts (the really big guys you see in zoos).

    Sulcata can reach 200 lbs, although *just* 150 lbs. is more likely. And they’re sold in pet stores by ignorant, untrained teenagers who tell prospective owners that “it’ll only get as large as the aquarium you keep it in, and it won’t get big for YEARS!” Wrong on both counts.

    The zoo calls us now when somebody calls them wanting to get rid of their sulcata tortoise. We have a website, at http://www.sulcata-station.org to help folks take care of their tortoises.

  56. Turtles and tortoises like low ceilings. They’re burrowing animals, so if they can feel solid walls touching their sides and back, they feel secure. (And yes, they can feel things touching their shells!)

  57. *Blushes* Thank you Oh No, Lisa & Marie – just doin’ what needed to be done. @TortoiseGeek – have you ever let one roam around in your house? Geezer loved to cruise once he was feeling better and it was a riot watching him bulldoze his way thru things. Nothing got in that guys way. And the looks I would get when I would take him for walks outside. And anybody that thinks they are slow, you should see a sulcata get up a really cruise when he sees something he wants! I had a ceramic tortoise in the front flower bed and that thing was Geezers mortal enemy!

  58. Bless you.

  59. Yep, that’s what I tell people, too: “Slow? You’ve just never seen a properly-motivated turtle/tortoise!”

    My favorite anecdote: Spouse and I were putting together a Ready-to-Assemble bookcase on the back patio (only flat space big enough for it) and I dropped the screwdriver — yellow plastic-handled, big enough for one tort to spot across the yard. He came chugging over and was extremely disappointed to find it was only a screwdriver and not the world’s largest dandelion flower. I felt so badly for him I went out front and pulled about a dozen dandelion flowers just for him. (Yes, our neighbors hated us for our tortoise-friendly, weedy lawn….)

  60. I’ll second that :-)!

  61. bob drummond says:

    What do mean by little turtle? This guy is a bruiser.

  62. bob drummond says:

    Alright, everybody pull over! Tortoise coming thru! Watch out!