They Call Me

Staplegun.

Mama was a Swingline. Daddy was a 14amp Stanley Pro Shot.

Yup, I’m a son of a gun. But you can call me Brad.

Somebody’s been cheating on their staple diet, Daniel.

Comments

  1. Mary (the first) says:

    wha hoppen? I was smooching a pooch and suddenly the internets was broken!

  2. Mary (the first) says:

    p.s. This Brad is not going to put that other Brad (Pitt) out of business as a pretty boy, that’s for sure. No offense, Brad.

  3. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    GOOFY TEEF ALERT!!!

    SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!111EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!111!!!

    and also, “Yippeee!!!! & “Ya-Hoo,” as well.

  4. YOW!

  5. kibblenibble says:

    Excellent scrolldown, Pyrit! :lol:

  6. This isn’t exactly what I’d call cute… >.>

  7. PS: What kind of critter is this? Is it a groundhog/woodchuck/marmot-ish beastie?

  8. Oh, he’s adorable. A ton of adorable. A cargoload of adorable, with some to spare.

  9. CariceLaur says:

    Hyrax! Pretty cool critter. More closely related to Elephants than rodents. I’ve heard there are places in Africa where these critters take over pool-side seating to sunbathe in luxury.

  10. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    yes.

    Either that, or perhaps “a Killer Rabbit”!!!111!!!

  11. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    (I left an early comment under this, but *pitiful mournful sob* ….it’s [sob]
    Under Moder-[sniff]-AAAAA-shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn…..”
    Baaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

    sob.

  12. This critter looks like this, is called a Hyrax and is closely related to elephants??? Clearly a Dr. Seuss character! Clearly!

  13. Hyraxes? They have the buck-teeth dealio, too?

  14. Aww.

  15. truly terrifying.

  16. I believe he is a Hyrax (close relative, believe it or not) of the elephant! I could be wrong so check it out. I fed these critters on Table Mountain in Capetown So. Africa. They are actually adorable.

  17. Ah ha, I bet hyrax is correct. Thank you. All I could think of was capybara, but I was doubtful.

  18. Anonymous Coward says:

    What the…???

    (or insert a bilingual joke here: “ouatte de…”)

    anywho, what the hayle is this thing? maybe it’s all in the camera angles, but it doesn’t quite look like a hyrax (i “wikipedia’d” it), so who can confirm the exact name of this creature?

    gut feeling, i’d put it on a diet, not that i want to lean to heavily on this suggestion, in which case you can broadly ignore my suggestion.

  19. You know, I bet from the back, this critter looks almost perfectly spherical.

  20. baby birdie says:

    It’s a bear/beaver/groundhog with fangs.

    By the way, Theresa, a groundhog and a woodchuck are exactly the same thing.

  21. Gigi (the original one) says:

    Looks kind of nerdish to me. Like all he needs is a pair of taped up glasses and a pocket protector to fit in with the Big Bang Theory gang.

  22. check this vid looks like Rock Hyrax wins
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv5hFjxU7Hs

  23. Queen of Dork says:

    Whatever it is, its teeth are perfectly aligned with its nostrils. I guess so that each nostril can smell its food as the tooth is gnawing on it. The creature is cute and fat and looks sort of mad. Like maybe we should all have held a picnic for it. With chips and bologna sandwiches. I don’t know for sure.

  24. It has little ball-shaped toesies!!!!

  25. B-but, its name *has* to be Brad!

  26. WHAT!? They’re the same thing!? You have just torn my world asunder!

  27. Did we have a video of a hyrax riding on the back of a tortoise?

  28. Hmmm. Well, Joy Adamson, of Born Free, (Elsa’s mom) had a dear pet hyrax, named Pati, who was cute in every way.

  29. …Have you seen my stapler?…

  30. Kind of a beat-generation coffee-house beard it’s got.
    Now imagine it elephant-sized and a prehyrastorical two-storeys tall: Aieee!

  31. and squeal (with teeth action)

  32. although squeal might be appropriate, I meant to type sequel…um…WINNING!

  33. I beg to differ.

  34. “Bring me my bongo drums!”

  35. I think it is a hyrax, as other commenters have said.
    http://www.treknature.com/gallery/Middle_East/Israel/photo4989.htm

    They look much cuter when they aren’t baring their teeth. And while babies.
    http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2009/07/these-hyraxes-are-plotting-something.html

  36. 260Oakley says:

    Hy Rax: busted for incisor trading

  37. *anguished* I know! They are both marmots! I just said it for the benefit of both groundhog- and woodhchuck-sayers! :cry:

  38. Oh, the ebil little faces!

  39. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    “HEY, you woodchucks!!! QUIT chuckin’ mah wood!!!”

  40. those teef look like they could do some damage! oh and I want to squeeze him. That is all.

  41. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    *sniffs loudly and wipes all the nasty drooly stuff on my coatsleeve, at the *exact spot* where Mom always teaches you *NOT* to wipe your nose * …..

    thank you O Moderashun Gods of the Innernet :)

  42. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    ENTIRELY WIns. And NOT in the Charlie Sheen way.

  43. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    *giggle*
    *tee hee*

    etc.

  44. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    – as long, as it DOESN”T have “little toe-shaped ****sies”!!!!!!

    (that’s a bit blue, for my general portfolio, but somebody hadda do it …..)

  45. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Theresa — will this do? :)

    http://home1.gte.net/res09cc9/garbage.gif

  46. April's NaNa says:

    incisor trading :-) *chortle-snerk*

  47. LOL PYRIT IT does have to be Brad! Besides he is not in the pitts is he! LOL Perforater!

  48. indupitably

  49. “take a picture, it’ll latht longer.”

  50. They call me Mr Teefs.

    I don’t know why!

  51. Aint it the toof, aint it the toof.

  52. Fangks! hee!

  53. I see what you did there.

  54. Emmberrann says:

    Aherm, Theresa, cute can sometimes be in the eye of the beholder. Makes me cry, sometimes.

  55. No matter how many times I see that commercial I always laugh.

  56. Ssshhhh, don’t startle it. Its one of the very rare da-hyrax-ula, native to certain dark castles in Transylvania. I hope you have your garlic with you!

  57. puddlepeppers says:

    Undoubtified.

  58. puddlepeppers says:

    Chips and bologna sandwiches sounding DELICACIES…Gotta
    have, gotta have. Will share with hyrax as a good fried…er, friend.

  59. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    They are also known as whistlepigs!

  60. Holy Bidoofs, it’s a hyrax. Not the cutest one i’ve seen as it looks a little angry. But I’m sure once he/she calms down it’ll be an awesome time.

  61. There’s R.O.U.S , and then there’s R.O.U.S’s hacked off grandpappy.

  62. Melissa says:

    My hub said it reminds him of Bill Engvall’s dorkfish.
    DORKCHUCK!
    “Uh durrr I ain’t a chuckin no wood….duurrrrr”

  63. Ali-baba says:

    Snerk, I say! Or rather…inconceivable! ;-)

  64. BatBlaster says:

    Hyrax should be a brand of stapler

  65. Hey you DANG woodchucks. It’s all in the “dang.” :D

  66. Watch out, my Dad is coming with the spitbath!

  67. BWAHAHAAHHAHAAAAA!

  68. PS: *snerk*

  69. Whoa, props to the Krebs!

  70. It’s a Hyrax. There are only a few kinds of hyrax and they aren’t very closely related to much of anything else! One of kind these little guys are.

  71. cuteismyporn says:

    Don’t feed them!!!! Rock Dussies they are called in Cape Town and they are LAZY, and in my opinion, not cute.

  72. The Hyrax (brand) stapler! The perfect desk accessory for the CO Office of the Future!

  73. lesterlyn says:

    Fantastic caption … !!! :-)

  74. Noelegy says:

    I have seen that bit so many times, and it makes me giggle every time!

  75. meoowmom says:

    umm Hyrax? I thought whistlepig sounds cuter…ah this leetle piggie would
    be cute once he got braces! he is NOT gat just big boned…cutie

  76. meoowmom says:

    oops meant FAT not gat

  77. Hyrax!!! Lots of them in Israel. I think they’re adorable, but not everyone agrees.

  78. How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

  79. Ali-baba says:

    Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass…
    You GO, Milt! :-)

  80. Ali-baba says:

    I dunno, he could be part of the hyrax mob& would therefore need a gat to take on Elliot Ness and the Feds. ;-)

  81. victoreia says:

    “You keep on using that word….”

    (Sorry; couldn’t resist.)

  82. Ali-baba says:

    “No more rhymes now, I mean it!”

  83. bob drummond says:

    As a former zoo keeper,I can say without a doubt that this chubby little
    guy is definitely a HYRAX (also known as a Coney.)

  84. Looks like the animal Portia De Rossi thought she saw in her backyard on Ellen!!

  85. Queen of Dork says:

    *wakes up, shakes head, tries to look around* huh? *pillow hair* huh? *rubs sleep stuff from eyes* Did somebody say DORK?! huh? whazzzup? dork? Okay. Do I need to do something? ‘kay. I’m coming. Wha? Are we going wood chucking? ‘kay. Lemme just brush my teeth real quick…

  86. Okay, THAT is the epitome of a ROUS! (Rodent of Unusual Size)

  87. BatBlaster says:

    Makes sense, they were mentioned in the bible. Some translations call them rock badgers, and they are mentioned like two or three times, right? First time saying they aren’t kosher (neither are a lot of things. Besides they are too cute to eat)

  88. Queen of Dork says:

    I have the Hyrax 7,000 on my desk. It can staple through a 40,000 page manuscript while flossing its teeth. I could not do my job without it.

  89. Anybody want a peanut?

  90. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    oops, sorry Theresa :)

  91. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    *delighted giggle*

  92. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    *shares a high-five, with Theresa*

  93. tracylee says:

    they call me… MISTAH Teefs!

    (my apologies to dear Mr. Poitier.)

  94. Ali-baba says:

    DYEEAAHHHHHH!

  95. earlybird1 says:

    Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t believe they exist. :D

  96. muttluver says:

    Iiiiiiiiiiiii love it.

  97. BatBlaster says:

    שָּׁפָן is the hebrew for it by the way. I like these critters actually.

  98. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!!! says:

    Academic/ Scholarly Coolness :)

  99. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!!! says:

    (Internet weirdness is happening. Earlier I left a comment here, about how cool it is to see the Hebrew text of this.
    At present, the Internet isn’t convinced that my comment wants to be there; but it didn’t pop up about moderashun, either ….*sigh*)

  100. I like puns and I like power tools. When the two meet I am a happy girl.

  101. Look at the weetle toesies. Look a lot like their relatives, the elephants. In the pantheon of San (Bushman) religion, a dassie (hyrax) is the queen of the gods.

  102. Deevioussss!

  103. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth, my two front teeth, All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth ,so I can wish you merry Cristmas! < SING THIS

  104. MommaMackie says:

    Those are NOT TEEFS! Thems is TUSK BUDS!!!!

  105. No wonder the word heffalump sprang to mind when I saw this!

  106. Nerdly – yes!! LOL!

  107. Are those tooth marks in the stone around him?! {shudders}

  108. “What about my weight?”

  109. “Do these teeth make me look fat?”

  110. ashagato says:

    how much hy could a hyrax rax if a hyrax could rax hy?

  111. “I don’t think it means what you think it means….”

  112. Someone may have said it already, but…Those 5 chin-hairs crack me up. Fetch me the tweezers.

  113. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    :)

  114. Holy snaggleteef!!! I shouted with laughter when I scrolled down to the pic!!!

    *gigglegarglesnerf*

  115. Awwww, I think that Hyrax is in lurve!!

  116. Yes your teeth make you look FAT!

  117. BatBlaster says:

    But the bible says they aren’t kosher (and too cute to eat).

  118. brittany says:

    Hyrax are related to elephants!!!! You tell by their digestive tract and by their feet! I hung out with them in Kenya. I’m pretty sure this is a rock hyrax. They make a terrible screaming noise.

  119. Hyrax? I wonder if that’s where Dr. Seuss got “Lorax” from…

  120. It’s a Dassie from Table Mountain i Cape Town!!
    must be – have been looking at my own photos and it looks like it’s standing on the pathways around the restaurant on top of Table mountain!

    They are cute – from a distance…

  121. And they become really tame – out in South Africa (where I live) I have a friend who fostered one – would nestle behind my neck at night and drink from a bottle. Saddly he was killed by a hawk. :(

  122. Oh, and we call them Dassies here (you pronounce it Dussy). :)

  123. Heehee, “bit”…

  124. Is he/she a wombat? I love he/she.