Like a Pocket Protector — For Your Lungs

March 2, 2011 By

Tried everything from patches to hypnosis and still can’t quit? Then replace that pack with the Stop-Smoking Squirrel™! Using patented AutoNag™ technology, Stop-Smoking Squirrel feeds a steady stream of scary health statistics.

Orphaned baby squirrel found and sender-innered by Amy W.

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41 comments … read them below or add one

  1. sunnylessmum says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Pocket pet portends a poor predicament for you fella!

  2. Lucy's Mommeh says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    WANT! (skwerl I mean)

  3. Theresa says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Can be programmed for dieting, too. “Oh sure, go ahead, you really need that Slurpee, tubby. And last I noticed, Dunkin bringing out a new flavor doughnut does not warrant a national holiday.”

  4. 260Oakley says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Smokey the Squirrel is here to kick your butts!

  5. gizmo says:
    March 2, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Izzat a sqwerl in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  6. victoreia says:
    March 2, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Le sigh…..

  7. (The Original) Mel says:
    March 2, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    I once knew a guy who had a pet sqerl. The sqerl would wait on a shelf or chair back and when the guy’s yellow lab would walk under the sqerl, said sqerl would leap onto the dog’s back, a la John Wayne and a gallop would ensue.

  8. Theresa says:
    March 2, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    OMG, Peeps, there is an opossum walking around my block! (NB: I live in Brooklyn!) WTF is an opossum doing here? He does not look happy.

  9. Gigi (the original one) says:
    March 2, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Are they available in Canada? Do I need a prescription?

  10. lisa says:
    March 2, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    Well I never smoked, but I’m going to start immediately just to qualify for the pocket pet annoyerator.

  11. Val says:
    March 2, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    If the squirrel starts smoking with me, do we get a free mini-squirrel to stop us both?

  12. Emmberrann says:
    March 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Dis is why dey calls it “pocket petz.” I tink.

  13. Rooanne says:
    March 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I knew this was a NTMTOM post when I was halfway through reading! Wish they had this when I quit smoking.

  14. Sar says:
    March 2, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    I see blood on the man’s nose…. could that be from pocket squirrel??? lol

  15. Tegro Teppy says:
    March 2, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    Nature’s pocket protector…careful where you keep your nuts.

  16. Andreea says:
    March 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    It’s like a sugar squirrel!!

  17. Martha in Washington says:
    March 2, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    This lil skwerl could get me to stop doing all kinds of things! :)

  18. Hon Glad says:
    March 3, 2011 at 1:15 am

    When your close to me, I can hear your heart beat
    I can hear you breathing in my ear

    Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me, we’ve got a groovy kind of love

  19. bob drummond says:
    March 4, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Squirrels r cute, cigarrettes ARE DEFINETLY NOT.
    Chuck those Parliments and put a pet in your pocket, NOW!!!!

  20. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:
    March 5, 2011 at 6:24 am

    *waving frantically @ Cuteoverload’s Tag Division*

    I just focussed more-closely at the backstory on this lil’ guy/ gal.
    Doesn’t this item deserve a “ResQte” Tag??? :)

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