Breaking News Update Bulletin Report!

The Onion News Network is reporting that the Internets have been crippled by this photo of a piglet. We interrupt our regularly scheduled cuteness for this report:

Comments

  1. Al Qaeda must be taking its cue from the Monty Python Killer Joke:

  2. TopBirdieLover says:

    Awesome photo, adorable piglet, amazing boots!!! Love it! Not the slightest fan of the actual video though. Actually, I dislike it very much! Sorry, but it’s true…that’s my opinion. Love all the other pics too!

    Oink, Oink,
    TopBirdieLover

  3. I want one! OMFG cute!

  4. “Sudden, violent comedy!” ROFL!

  5. The real shoe bomber. The other one was a fake-out.

  6. In all honesty, the engineers and scientists who created the net (not Gore), probably had dreams of altruistic sharing of information and news.

    Not video cams of a lizard, videos of kittens and puppies falling asleep, and a freakin’ world wide camera on a coffee pot located two floors down.

  7. That pic is my wallpaper! Who knew my laptop was a weapon of mass cutestruction!

  8. We all know that combat is all about Boots on the Ground (pork, in this case).

  9. Guinea Peeg Lover says:

    Wow. That picture’s sure getting popular. Well, at least we’re spreading the cute!

  10. Andi from NC says:

    May fave line: “Had the piglet been wearing a tiny hat the damage could have been much worse.” This is absolutely hysterical! Come for the piglet, stay for the video….

  11. HAHAH Dash too funny!

  12. Andi I loved that line too and thought OMG I want to see the little piggy with a hat on too!

    The video is so funny. Love it.

  13. Long may the cute overpower all that is evil in the world.

  14. Woo little sweet cute piggiepoo!
    Today is my birthday and I had to work and it’s been mostly crappy, but looking at the piglet has cheered me up. Thank goodness for the cute.

  15. Queen of Dork says:

    But CO did this pic before. It was my wallpaper a long time ago because it was so cute then. And it’s still cute now! I love how the piglet looks kind of mad standing there in the mud in his boots. I have this adorable little cousin, Nahla. When I was home for Christmas, she had received this little hammer and peg toy. She could pound the wooden pegs into the thing with her hammer. And when she did, she would have this look of utter concentration and sort of anger on her face that reminds me of this piglet. :) (She would LOVE a pair of bright, shiny red boots like these!)

  16. Gigi (the original one) says:

    If you don’t have a sense of humor the terrorists win.

  17. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh skippymom! HOORAY FOR YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! I am so baking a cake for you and preparing all sorts of glittery confetti to throw all over you and streamers as well! Happy Birthday to you!! :)

  18. As usual the news gets it wrong ! It wasn’t from Al Queda it was from Al Cutea !

    Hey, Was that really NOMTOM in that onion news video ?”

  19. Happy Birthday Skippymom. I hope you have a nicer evening.

  20. Little does the Onion know that CO is always quietly waiting in the dark shadows of society to launch internet-crippling cuteness attacks.

  21. “Stockpiling kittens…” Snerk.

  22. Happy Hatch Day, Skippymom!! :)

  23. Gigi (the original one) says:

    Bon anniversaire Skippymom!

  24. kittens of mass destruction !

  25. PO’d little girls are stinkin’ cute. My little niece Fiona is like a little Ayahtollah.

  26. PS I am not saying this may not be an ominous development a few years down the line, but she is unbelievably cute now.

  27. Happy Burpday Skippymom!

  28. Queen of Dork says:

    I know! But what was really funny about it was that she really wasn’t at all angry…she was just so concentrated on what she was doing that her face LOOKED angry. It was so funny!

  29. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    skippymom —
    “Bonne Anniversaire”, Numero Deux
    (the wishes en Francais, not the Bday # ) :)

    Also in the news — ceejoe was worryin’ aboutcha jist t’other day!!! Glad you’re okeydokey!!!

  30. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    By the way, Mike,
    don’t you want to consider adding *ANOTHER* phrase onto your title, to further emphasize the Newness of the “Breaking News Update Bulletin Report”???
    Maybe somehow include the terms “Close Investigative Scrutiny” or “Expose”???

  31. You know, peeps, I don’t think I’m the only one who notices this, but the gap between “real life” and The Onion has been closing more and more rapidly in recent years. Not that I would mind, in this case.

  32. My daughter used to get this look on her face when she was younger, (she was about 8 at the time) especially when she was concentrating on riding one of the more difficult horses at the barn. I used to tease her that if she hated riding so much, we didn’t have to continue lessons.
    Now we just call it “putting on her game face”.

  33. Happy B-Day!!! Hope the day perked up a mite for you.

  34. Espeshully the part about “telling you what WE want you to know.” The networks have been doing that for years.

  35. Well obviously this means someone should report Cute Overload to the CIA this instant. I should have known…we all should have known. :lol:

  36. Not complaining about your opinion here, you’re well entitled to it.
    I just have one question; Why didn’t you like the video?
    I’m just curious, because It doesn’t hit the usual Nuff buttons.
    (not that you’re nuffing or anything, your comment is prob the most un-nuff comment ever XD)

  37. I thought the same thing when I watched that!

  38. Amen! ;-)

  39. Martha in Washington says:

    Perhaps we should send in the “Hamster of World Peace”!

  40. Mike LeGoff says:

    LOL… “Thank God the piglet was not wearing a little hat, or the damage could (sic) be far worse.”

  41. Yup, it wasn’t Gore, it was the people at Cern.

    Anyway, ya think?

  42. Giggled all the way through that! ;)

    Scary thing is, it COULD HAPPEN!!!!!! People are ensnared by teh Qte too easily and if they do get the kittens and pandas out, life as we know it is so OVAH!!!!

  43. Gigi (the original one) says:

    Yes they are! :-)

  44. Gigi (the original one) says:

    It’s been that way forever AutieBellum, as far back as the Egyptian hieroglyphs on temples, the town criers and the minstrels.

  45. Cute picture- but the video was really obnoxious and unfunny. I stopped watching after a few seconds. Please go back to posting just pictures and videos of adorable things.

  46. Wait? They stopped?

    1. I really don’t get some people. You see one thing you don’t like, and it’s “Please go back to” whatever. Just because there’s one thing you didn’t care for doesn’t mean that CO is
    a. Going to hell in the proverbial handbasket
    b. That other people aren’t amused by it.

    2. More to the point, it’s not your blog. It’s not a public service or a public utility. The people who own and operate the blog get to do what they want with it. They have provided so much extraordinary cuteness for us over the years, above and beyond the call of duty, and brought together a community of like-minded lovers of cuteness. Being gracious, seems to me, to be in order, not entitled-sounding complaints.

  47. But hey, she or he *is* entitled to his or her opinion. No need to get upset about it.

  48. I am upset because everywhere I go these days, I seem run into people who act entitled, and don’t seem to realize it when they are someone else’s guests.

  49. O No He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Theresa, FWIW (?) I entirely agree with you.
    “Entitlement hissy-fits ” = poopiness.

  50. I see it differently. After all, this is the internet, not someone´s house. But I will not discuss this more cause arguments are not very cute. ;)

  51. Kirsten D. says:

    *stands up and applauds* Hear ye, hear ye!

    I find such comments to be incredibly rude. If you don’t like the ONE video out of the hundreds of them they post on here, shake it off and move on. There’s no need to act all entitled and say “please go back to X.”

    I would say more, but you covered it all for me. I don’t get some people, honestly.

  52. THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT?

  53. JohnnyJohnny says:

    The Onion, for those who do not know, is satire. Say it with me now….Saaaa-tire.

  54. 5^^now8ing says:

    Aww, Sweet Theresa, are you having a bad day? (I know *I* would be, had I been up at 6:32 am ;-) (I agree with your sentiments vis-à-vis the complaint, BTW.) But I’m thinking it’s not like your usual cheerful (albeit snarky ;-) self to let it get to you. Power to Teh Qte! Love you!

  55. 5^^now8ing says:

    Yep! ;-)

  56. OneCommenter says:

    Am I the only one who didn’t find the joke about the picture of a nude elderly woman funny?

  57. 5^^now8ing, maybe I am having a bad day (BTW, I think the time stamps are Pacific time, and I am on Eastern time, so I can’t use that as an excuse ;)), but even on the best of days, this is something that really annoys me– and I don’t like to blame technology for peoples’ failing, but it seems to me that technology is enabling some really crappy human tendencies.

    Another example of a similar sitch:
    I am not a big Bieber fan, but it seems to me, from my distance, that many of the young people who are, have been encouraged to indulge in a fantasy or delusion that they really know him– or that they even, in a way, own him. But that is not reality. Reality is that they do not know him, and certainly do not own him. They do not really owe him the kind of loyalty that would explain hacking somebody’s website and Wikipedia because she won a Grammy instead of him. They are not all his girlfriend, so they shouldn’t get to threaten and heap abuse on a young lady he chooses to keep company with. They are not his mother, so they don;t get to choose when and in what style he gets a haircut.

    This is just an example of the kind of thinking I’m talking about. It seems to me like an assumption of “ownership” over all kinds of things that in reality, do not belong to them in any sense.

  58. OK, moderate away. A clear case of I deserve it.

  59. ditto ditto skippymom! piggiepoo snorfs you!

  60. bring out the glitter cannon! poof!

  61. Totally! Are the Feds compiling a file of cute?? *shifty eyes*

  62. I can already see it leaking to Wikileaks and being labelled “Cutegate”. :D

  63. the other day I saw a doggie taking his human for a walk after it had been raining all day and the doggie had booties on! Little booties with reflectors! they went tap tap on the sidewalk! I had a similar bout of squee!

  64. OMG I would have so immediately gone for my phone video camera and filmed that. Sounds deliciously squeeful! :)

  65. That was remarkably well done. :D

  66. [YAWNING AND STRETCHING AND SHUFFLING OUT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON]

    what’s going on here?

    [GRUMBLING AND SNUFFLING AND LOOKING AROUND FOR SOME COFFEE]

  67. here’s a cup of tea and a number. we’ll get to you in a bit.

  68. yes.

  69. cuteoverload is our house on the internet. house rules are: don’t bring a switchblade to a pillowfight.

  70. Sorry Sharpy, but this is getting too territorial for me now.

  71. Queen of Dork says:

    I agree. I also find it ridiculous that people try to demand what is or is not shown on a site that they can look at for free.

  72. Thanks for being sweet about my filibuster, Sharpy. I really don’t do that usually. Probably won’t do it again for quite awhile. (shuffling feet, shifty eyes)

  73. See, look how sweet she is. She didn’t even have her own coffee yet, and she’s giving you tea.

  74. O No He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    ???????

  75. TopBirdieLover says:

    I didn’t like the video because well…because I found it was kinda…I don’t know…dumb and immature! Sorry, my opinion! The picture alone would of been great!

  76. And, of course, that’s part of why they hate us…..they just don’t have a sense of humor!

  77. And they thought George Orwell was writing fiction! :!:

  78. Mary (the tall) says:

    I found the video highly relevant and am ever so glad that it was posted. After all, when the piglet first appeared on CO, I never thought that it could be used to further a terrorist agenda. Without thinking, I just forwarded it on to my friends. Clearly, it was just a test run, to see how vulnerable we all are to the cutietude. I am ashamed of my weakness.

    It’s not just a tiny hat on the pig. What would have happened if they had sent the “Corgi Flop” video? Or pictures of Boo?!? I think the only thing saving us is that the Maru clips are a little longer than normal; the computer networks have time to recover during those long minutes.

    Cute is power, people. Wield that power carefully. For the sake of our country!

    *snickers and runs back to see if the sloth video is still playing*

  79. Certainly the piglet was cute, certainly I did squee, certainly a hat would have caused brain hemorrhag levels of cuteness – BUT actually I come to cute overload for the insightful political commentary

  80. O No He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    INSANE ADORABLENESS!!! the little sparkling, twinkle effects!!!!

  81. Martha in Washington says:

    I love how piglet has ballet slippers on all four feet! So she can do a pas de four? (Sorry, I don’t speak fronsche.)

  82. TrixandSam says:

    You’re the best Theresa. I heartily agree with you. I stopped reading a lot of comments made about stories on news sites for this very reason.

  83. I think for reasons of National Security, CO needs to out whichever one of its listeners is actually 45-year-old stay-at-home mom Maryanne Halberstroff of Jacksonville, FL.

  84. O No He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    hmmmmm…..

    Ca peut etre moi , mais ce n’est pas moi!! …J’ai 48 anees, et je vive a Jacksonville Fla, but Ah ain’t nebber used that they-uh moniker …..

  85. Digitoonie says:

    I’m live in Jacksonville Fl.

    (steps away from the computer slowly)