Shadow of the Hampire

Sleep did not come easily to Victoria that night. She tossed for hours, Dr. Liebkind’s warning echoing in her ears: Once you admit him into your home, he may come and go at will. Nonsense, she decided at last–village folklore, nothing else.

But come he did, as she dreamt fitfully–the elegant gentleman who charmed her that evening. Gazing at her pale neck with a deathless hunger, he knelt close to her. “Soon your torment will be over,” he murmured. “Soon you shall be mine.”

There’s a bloodsucker born every minute, Anna W.



  1. kibblenibble says:


  2. Vanessa Au says:

    hope those aren’t cedar wood chips, they can kill small animals. stick to carefresh… or aspen if you must use wood chips. end of hamster PSA

    also that is SUPER CUTE

  3. gloom raider says:

    He has a reflection! I call shen-ham-igans!

  4. That is one evil rodent…

  5. S.J. Hartsfield says:

    LOL! Oh, the alt text slays me.

  6. aw, hammie can vipe my vindows anytime he wants!

  7. er, vants

  8. He’s too cute to be an evil blood-sucker! Then again, his expression suggests that may not be true.

    NTMTOM, you’ve done it again. I read romance novels, particularly the paranormal ones with lots of vampires. This was perfect. I couldn’t stop laughing, and then I read the hover text and laughed some more.

    Thank you!

  9. willendorfVenus says:

    Her little pink leep is killing me.

  10. I have never seen such an angry hammie! He’s clearly been hanging out with too many disapproving and reproachful bunnehs.

  11. Oh, what a passed-out cutie! The nose, the leeps!

  12. Dangit! You took my comeback!!!

    (Hats off) 😉

  13. Looks to me like someone’s been watching True Blood for far too long.

  14. skippymom says:

    OW! OW! OW! I just dislocated my head turning upside down to try to figure out whether that’s her tongue or her chin!

  15. the peenk leep and the peenk noses! eeeeeee!

  16. OMG, that is just great. NTMTOM, you manage to capture the gist of a photograph so perfectly, and so imaginatively, I am in awe. Shock and awe.

    Love his little squinky evil eyes. Bottom ham should have those little cartoon Xs in her eyes, ’cause it looks like her tongue is sticking out in the classic cartoon death pose. I mean, I know she’s not dead and all, I’m just sayin’.

  17. victoreia says:


  18. victoreia says:

    I mean, 😆

  19. “Oy vey, you’ve got der wrong wampire!”

  20. Oh, and “Victoria”?? ❤

  21. I totally agree. Hilarious. Well done NTMTOM!

  22. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    (Rabid TB fan here)….;)

  23. Looks can be deceiving. 😉

  24. bookmonstercats says:

    Dang it indeed. So we can’t have the Hammied-up version of Leslie Nielson’s “Dead and Loving It” (I think itwas called) where he and the girl did that amazing dance without his reflection (well, he di’un’t really, it was camera trickery, but hey, I loved it).

  25. Scared my co-workers with the explosive guffaw! Weeping a bit…

  26. Good lord! He does have incredible, dark, melting eyes…

    I have a hamster crush now.

  27. I’ve not watched the series yet, but I’ve read all the books.

    Three words (in random order): shower Eric scene.


  28. ……Then a huge uproar in the courtyard below ensued, accompanied by an ominous thumping against the barricaded wooden front door….!!!
    The butler ran in, rasping breathlessly, “Miss Victoria, your father and all the villagers are outside, waving torches and brandishing the customary pitchforks…..!!! Whatever shall we do??
    They keep shouting about ‘revenge, & retribution for lost virtue…’ “..!!!!

    To his shame, the Hampire did not tarry long;
    he sprouted little black wings and promptly flew away, squeaking furiously as he glided off……. Victoria was left alone, to singlehandedly deal with the angry townsfolk, an irate father, and her own broken heart……… 😥

  29. Due to cutbacks, the cast for the BBC’s “Being Human” series has been reduced.

  30. Also, to reduce the shooting costs, all scenes will be shot inside one interior location.

  31. At first glance, I didn’t see the second hamster. Let me tell you, I was really confused trying to figure out those lower pink things.

  32. baby birdie says:

    LOL! 😀

  33. O NO He/She/ IT DI-unt!!! says:

    perhaps NTM intended the spellingk to be “victorEia”?????

  34. Bonus points for the Fearless Vampire Killers quote. XD

  35. Funniest story/photo combo on the animal interwebz EBER!!!!!!

  36. (The Original) Mel says:

    Bleh! Bleh! Blehbleh!

  37. Can’t wait for the sequel, The Hampire Strikes Back…

  38. Who knew hams could swoon? But if looks could kill, ve’d all be DEAD! DEAD, I tells ya!
    Never interrupt an NSFW hampile.

  39. Sookeh!!!!

  40. Lewis n' Clark says:


  41. Viola de Lesseps says:

    He actually looks a bit like Frank Langella. Cept waaay more adorabuhl.

  42. I ❤ NTMTOM.

  43. LittleGirlGrey says:

    Ill faint away with you! Love that part in that book.

    I think the Hampster Vamp is so cute!

  44. “Woo woo, secret vampire stuff!” 😉

  45. Martha in Washington says:

    Ummm…JR Ward?

  46. Martha in Washington says:

    “I don’t drink…wine.” My favorite version. I have the book but haven’t worked up the nerve to actually read it yet.

  47. The book is great! Amazing for the 19th century.
    And if you can stand the bad Gary Oldman Goth steampunk version, or George Hamilton saying, ‘With you, never a quickie. Alvays a longie,’ you can take the book.

  48. “Die Flederham”

  49. Sorry for spoiling the fun, but this picture is not cute at all. Hamsters are not social animals and should be kept in separate cages alone instead of housed together. What was being shown in this picture is a hamster attacking another, if left alone, pretty soon the weaker hamster will be wounded or even killed.

  50. Noooo, these look like dwarf hamsters which ARE social animals, especially since these seem to be littermates, both beautifully plump with floofy coats, i.e., unstressed.
    Although Fawlty Towers’ Manuel’s Siberian [golden] hamsters are indeed One Cage, One Ham.
    But let’s not anthropomorphise or buzzkill from a single snapshot until we hear from the owner, hmm?

  51. “I never drink… from my little vertical water bottle.”

    Seriously, WAY scarier than Edward Cullen. Cuter too.

  52. Alice Shortcake says:

    And he doesn’t sparkle either!

  53. THEY ARE HAVING SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There I said it……

  54. I was thinking the same, only they look more like pine to me, which is also very bad. Google “pine and cedar toxicity” for more info.

  55. NTMTOM,
    You are amazing, in the “He needs serious help but DAMN is he funny!!” way!! My sister wants to invite you to dinner just to hear what you would say about our kittehs!

    Hearts, hugs and platonic love to you!!

  56. Anna Carolina says:

    I really loved the text! I laught everytime I read it haahhha 🙂
    And the hamsters are adorable! I have one of the same kind!!

  57. baby birdie says:

    Wait…are you serious?

  58. My Siberian dwarf hamsters have been pretty social. Even had two males together. They started to fight and we had to separate them with a piece of glass with holes in them in the cage, to divide them until they became used to each other, then they were inseparable..even escaped together(but we found them in the closet together made a nest and everything) -_-

  59. or Interview with a Hampire.

  60. Darn, I was going to say this!

    Just waiting for Ham Velsing to show up.

  61. Charme, you need to do your research. These are Campbells dwarf hamsters. Dwarf hamsters are very social in the wild and it’s best to keep them in pairs/groups. (Same sex pairs/groups of course, unless you want them to be…shall I say extra social.)

    There are exceptions of course, some hammies like to live the bachelor/bachelorette life rather than dealing with interpersonal relationships. (In other words, they “don’t play well with others”.)

  62. Uh… no, they’re not. Hamsters do that the same way dogs and most other mammals do it.

  63. I am sorry to disagree, but as a moderator of the largest hamster forum in Taiwan, and after owning 4 Campbell’s dwarf hamsters, let me assure you that I’ve certainly done my share of research. You have no idea how hard we’ve been trying to advocate the idea of one hamster per cage after seeing endless cases of hamsters injured or killed from being housed together. Campbell’s dwarf hamsters are social in the wild because they have spacious living space in the wild, but they are NOT social animals living in cramped cage space as domesticated pets.

    After the first or 2 months of their life living in peace with litter mates, PET Campbell’s dwarf hamsters who have a dominant streak will suddenly wake up to a strong territorial instinct and start bullying weaker cage mates who would then live under great stress from the constant attacks, and if they get cornered they would be wounded or even killed.

    Owners who believe their pair of Campbell’s dwarf hamsters to be loving companions to each other have been known to wake up one morning to find one of the hamsters killed by the other. A pair of Campbell’s dwarf hamster, whether siblings or not, could live together peacefully for over a year and suddenly turn on each other for reason unknown resulting in maiming or death. Same goes with Winter White and Roborovski.

    I know it’s so cute to see multiple dwarf hamsters snuggling together! But they are not really the harmless little fur balls they seem to be. Life is precious and each of your pet is precious, please do not put their life in unnecessary risk. How hard could it be to house them separately?

  64. bookmonstercats says:

    “Dracula” is a great book. Bram Stoker told quite a good tale for his time (or, on Cute Overload, a * tail* (geddit???))

  65. Mina Hamharker: Take me away from all this death!

  66. baby birdie says:

    LOL! Ham Velsing! Hahahaha!
    How about Abrahamster van Helsing or something like that?

  67. It would have been so much cuter if BatDraculaCritter had exploded into a pile of dwarf hamsters instead of a pile of rats.

  68. Viola de Lesseps says:

    I think Gary Oldman was really splendid in that version…it’s just that everyone else was *dreadful*. (And not in a good way.)

  69. Hi, Charme,

    You make some good points: all hamsters (including dwarves) are territorial, and even those dwarves that would be fine together with plenty of room would often turn on each other if in cramped quarters. Dwarf hamsters are by nature, and under normal circumstances, are social and prefer to be together. But by no means would I advocate forcing those to live together if they don’t get along. And I always make sure that they have plenty of space.

    I have raised Campbells and Winter White dwarf hamsters for over ten years (as well as belonging to a hamster club whose president raised all species of hamsters for 20 years). In that time, only a small percentage of litter mates (or those paired together young) had to be separated. Only in two or three cases, did one hamster kill another.

    But you’re right, just because they get along great when they’re babies does not guarantee they will when they mature. So, I guess we could say… by nature dwarf hamsters are social and can be housed together, but only if they are given plenty of space. It is the responsibility of the owner to moniter how they are getting along, and separate them if they fight (more than occasional squabbles) or if one is continually picking on the other.

  70. Team Hammie!

  71. Those hamsters are fighting. That’s the fact of the matter. The one underneath, on her back, has adopted a very standard defensive posture.
    This picture is only cute to people who are not familiar with, and who do not understand, hamster behavior.

  72. This is how my hamsters used to look when one was just grooming the other. They fight so ferociously and fast (and don’t get distracted to pose for pictures) I don’t think this could’ve occurred during any actual battle or there would’ve been movement and teeth

  73. Hamsters do not groom each other.

    Now, just in case you missed it, let me repeat and paraphrase a part of my previous post that you evidently neglected to read:
    The hamster on the bottom adopted a stereotypic defensive posture.that is ONLY adopted when fighting.

    Your statement that “They fight so ferociously and fast (and don’t get distracted to pose for pictures) I don’t think this could’ve occurred during any actual battle or there would’ve been movement and teeth” is completely senseless, and what you “think” “could’ve occurred” shows a complete lack of understanding of how hamsters behave and interact with each other.