Meanwhile, at Sears Portrait Studio…

I hate you. I just want you to know that. It’s not enough that I can feel the eyes of an army of garden gnomes upon me as I take my morning constitutional;

Or that our home is a museum for every “Princess Diana: The Legend Lives On” commemorative collector plate the Franklin Mint ever sold;

Or that night after night, I curl up on the nicotine-scented plastic slipcovers and hope against hope that the evening’s entertainment will consist of something other than “Swingin’ Alive: Frank Sinatra Jr. Sings The Bee Gees.”

No. Every year, you drive me downtown, and make me do … this.

If looks could kill, Lori N.

Comments

  1. Whatsername says:

    I love you, poor angry kitty. You’ll get your revenge when the lights go out.

  2. Oh wow… I wouldn’t want to be near this little face tonight!! You know, when it’s dark… and I can’t see him… Sneaking up on me… To do ebil!!!

  3. Hilarious.

    All I want for Christmas is a Best of NOMTOM coffee table book. Please? I’ve been a very good girl this year.

  4. you can just SEE the evil in those eyes!

    (either that, or the photographer’s reflection, I’m not sure)

  5. poor angry kitteh…. ;-)

  6. I love him completely. What is it about PO’d kitties that makes them so adorable?

  7. (The Original) Mel says:

    Ye shall perish.

  8. I lol’d so hard at this post.
    Poor kitty. Mine would kill me in my sleep if I pulled anything like this.

  9. bookmonstercats says:

    *sigh*

    Just *sigh*

  10. NTMTOM,

    … I have to ask! “Swingin’ Alive: Frank Sinatra, Jr. sings The Bee Gees”, did you just make that up? If so, your talents, though appreciated, are wasted here! You need to be on Madison Ave., sharing your gift through wonderful commercials! You could be the designer of the next “Etrade Baby”!! Save us from the terrible-ness that is a Kay Jewelers commercial!!

    Or you could stay here and we, your loyal readers, will appreciate you forever!! Actually, I like that idea better!!!

    Have a safe and happy holiday!!

  11. Awww. Mr. Maine Coon looks just like my Missy.

  12. This is one very unhappy camper. Revenge shall be his, I have no doubt.

  13. This must be Big Cat Ear Week at CO.

  14. Are those whiskers, or is kitty munching on dental floss?

  15. me too!!!

  16. He doesn’t look angry as much as he looks “How could you DO this to me???”

  17. Poor kitteh. Trapped in a kitschy world he never made…

  18. Oh yes. That kitteh’s upset. Look at those flat ears. Someone had better hide their favorite shoes.

  19. “seriously. do i look like i’m in heaven?”

  20. me three! about the book AND being a good girl… ;)

  21. That kitteh has the most distinguished whiskerage I’ve seen in a long time!

  22. Totally agree about NTMTOM’s talents . . .

    Butbutbut . . . “Every kiss begins with K!”

  23. Love the ears-back look of discomfiture.

  24. i can’t see the ebil… am i the only one who doesn’t see it? oh poor thing~ there isn’t an ebil bone in his little fluffy body!

  25. I haven’t been so great, but I sure do want that book . .

  26. Wowers. NOMTOM has a dark side!
    …I like it!

  27. Princess of Insolence says:

    Kitteh thinks of nothing but murder all day…

  28. warrior rabbit says:

    I concur, he looks totally put upon. That is the look of sheer woe-is-me misery. (I’m sure anger and revenge will follow, though.)

  29. Uh, oh.

  30. Harry's Mom says:

    Not sure if the cat is scared or disgusted.

  31. Ah, another reader of “The Onion!”

    I must point out that no one has yet stepped forward to beep the pink nose on this disgruntled kitteh. Far be it from me to let that go undone…

  32. earlybird1 says:

    YES! A NTMTOM coffee table book would be just the thing!

  33. earlybird1 says:

    LOL!!

  34. Probably because like human children, there’s a simple (but powerful) purity to all their emotions, something we as adults cannot help but find precious and lovable. That and their eyes appear even larger when they’re angry.

  35. This must be how he’s feeling inside: grrr sir, grrr

  36. Look at the hurt and pain in those eyes.

    Agony!
    Beyond the power of speech
    When the one thing you want
    Is the only thing out of your reach.

    The nearest exit

  37. Oh dear. Someone had better shake out their shoes.

  38. (The Original) Mel says:

    I’m hearing Tom Jones playing in the background…

  39. Ouch, I’m cringing in shame here, as my poor cats could echo every one of this kitty’s complaints.

  40. GingerBean says:

    my cat looks at me like this all the time. I don’t have to do anything to her, she’s just permanently angry and disappointed in me.

  41. Hey, y’all, I’m over here in the Mod Lounge. My shout this round if anyone wants to join me!

  42. (The Original) Mel says:

    I had a Maine Coon like that. It was either this look or the Infidel Sideye. I needed therapy after he passes.

  43. I disagree. The Etrade baby just annoys me. NTMTOM cracks me up every time. :D

  44. Kitty isn’t angry, just disappointed.

  45. SheepishKitty says:

    so….I shouldn’t try kissing it right now.

  46. Yes, me also. Where do I sign?

  47. I heard some comedian say that Kay Jewelers is wrong and every kiss begins with Budweiser…

  48. Yea, I too think he’s just shocked and disappointed and dismayed: “How COULD you!?”

  49. Oooh, someone’s getting something WORSE than coal in their stocking this year!

  50. I completely agree. He’s got that Muppet look of, “Why, oh why does the universe insist on saddling me with these nincompoops!”

  51. Uhmm……cute, sad or angry catergory now?
    I agree with the others, this poor baby looks so disappointed that his “people” have done this to him/her.

    He can come to my house and play with me, my 2 dogs and rabbit :)

  52. “WHY?! Oh god, the HUMANITY!!”

    Or is that the kittehhood?

    lmao!

  53. Princess of Insolence says:

    Dearie, that’s fabulous!

  54. Kitty needs some Head and Shoulders stat!

  55. And this is Janelle´s way of saying “Merry Frickin Xmas”:

  56. Ok. Again. Here´s Janelle saying “Merry Frickin Xmas”:

    http://www.themadcatlady.com/20/12/2010/merry-frickin-xmas/

  57. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    very effective selection of dialogue there, Mel !!!!

  58. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Just chiming in here about the Etrade bebeh.
    CREEPS ME OUT.

    and pretty much the same response, to
    the original “dancing baby” bit in the Ally McBeal program, too.

    meh.

  59. kibblenibble says:

    This beeyooteeful kitty bears a remarkable resemblance to my dear departed Witchie, who could also speak volumes with her eyes. I miss her.

  60. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Alternatively ….

    (echo-ey Monty Python/ Holy Grail voice): “None shall pass….”

  61. let’s hope he likes playing with doggies, or he might make an unhappy face!

  62. Ha! I’m out, and I didn’t even have to buy any drinks!

  63. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    That was always when you *KNEW* you were gonna be visiting the woodshed. When the parents sighed profoundly and told you they weren’t angry, they were (sigh) “so……disa-ppointed……”

    Signed,
    This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you.

  64. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Is this the song? ;)

  65. Oh man, I love that etrade baby – cracks me up every time.

  66. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    wow!!!

  67. At least Santa is not holding the cat. Every year the mall has days that your pet can have a photo with Santa. Some of the animals do great–and some, well, I feel sorry for the pets and Santa.

  68. what a sweet kitty, to actually be sitting still while it’s feeling that way… if mine were that scared/disappointed/pissed, they’d have scratched my arms to shreds by now and be hiding under the nearest piece of furniture large enough… lol… I do love them all!

  69. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    condolences, kn . And hugs. Lots of hugs.

  70. *shudder*

  71. WHO HIT ME!

  72. Gracie's Mom says:

    Poor thing looks terribly miserable. But adorable all the same!

  73. (The Original) Mel says:

    It’s a Meg-ism. I can’t take credit.

  74. Those…those are the Ears of DOOM!

  75. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    prolly not.

  76. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    hip, hip and also
    HOORAY for skippymom (and prolly Sharpy, too :) )

  77. He looks less murderously angry than a lot of cats in that kind of situation. He mostly looks like he’s trying to remember what dignity felt like. XD

  78. This is an awesome picture! I may have to make it my wallpaper.

  79. Sharpy is my hero.

  80. har! maybe this picture belongs on awkward family photos.

    hrmph

  81. What’s the ISBN number? I want to pre-order at Amazon!

  82. But surely, Ms. Thomas, you NEVER misbehaved as a youngster?!

  83. Excellent photo. Now step away from the camera, and nobody gets scratched.

  84. that’s a pretty low bar you have there. ;)

  85. I been good too!
    *whispers* when no one was watchin’… :)

  86. “Cute or sad” tag, where are you?

  87. Matter of fact, I’m all about keeping the bar low. How does that saying go, “High expectations are preconceived disappointments”?

  88. Oh, yes! [hurriedly checking bank account]

  89. Understandable. My mother couldn’t even get me to sit with some strange looking guy in a weird house that I’d never seen before and smelled funny, she certainly wasn’t going to try with the cat, a killer Siamese and scourge of the neighborhood.

  90. Isn’t there some way we can make the etrade baby go away? Oh, wait…..change the channel…..wait, I want it to go away forever….

  91. I prefer ‘every kiss’ to “He went to Jared”.

    Just saying…

  92. Um, shouldn’t this have an “Impeding Doom” tag?

  93. i know high expectations are a really bad idea during the holidays. ;)

  94. Oh, I love ALL the Etrade babies. Especially this one on the right:

  95. WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!

  96. A low bar– isn’t that what LIMBO is all about? :mrgreen:

  97. PS, anybody else hearing “Oh Don Piano”?

  98. Those have GOT to be the most LUXURIOUS whiskers I haz evarr seen!!! <3

  99. I must have the weirdest kitty in the world. If I did that to her, she would be posing for the camera. Any flash that goes off and she is glued to your camera. She loves having her picture taken. At least until you get out the video camera. Then she hides. And to top it off, she likes to wear clothes…

  100. Kitteh is SKEERED! (and perhaps starting to feel outrage)

  101. That’s how our cat looks at my husband all the time. She’s not mad at him, just put-upon by his bumbling existence.

  102. Whyyyy I eyes ya!!!

  103. Pavlov's Pig says:

    I LOVE that song. One of my favorite musicals.

  104. It’s a good thing there’s a low bar in the Snickering Lounge, so that we can reach it when we’re collapsed on the floor from the cute.

  105. Oh Long John!

  106. Trying to decide if peeved off kitteh is a Kirk or a Kahn….

  107. I was wondering when someone would comment on those.. I myself was like, Holy whiskers, batman!

  108. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ AuntieBellum:

    While I admire everything else about you, I will ask your indulgence as I reveal ….[shudder] one of my most deeply-ingrained aversions/ pet peeves.

    When you are referring to the publishing data about a book,
    the *abbreviation* is “ISBN” …or the phrase,
    from which that abbreviation was developed, is/ was

    “International Standard Book Number”

    Similar to “ATM”/ Automated Teller Machine
    –not “ATM Machine” (I still hear national television anchors do that one, and it makes me cringe EVERY TIME so I know I’m prolly too reactive…..).

    Also “VIN”/ Vehicle Identification Number
    –not “VIN Number”

    Signed,
    Sorry.

  109. The only Etrade baby commercial I like is the one where his friend starts singing “Broken Wings.”

  110. “You want me to GIVE you something to cry about?”

  111. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ skippymom:

    ma’am, *I* was never a youngster.

  112. And now for my regular kittayn anecdote. Maggie was running around pell-mell this morning, and I picked her up to snorgle her. I commented that her little heart was going a mile a minute, and my hubby said, “Of course. She’s busy. It’s hard work, growing.” :D

  113. He don’t need no stinkin’ hairpieces.

  114. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ Kar and Linda: the responses of les animaux also seem reasonable when one considers meeting Santa, For the First Time, without knowing any backstory, and encountering him
    in That Red Suit and all…

  115. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    how heartwarming, T :)

  116. I thought he said “Oh Long Johnson,” or maybe that;s just the way I heard it. 8O

  117. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    A blond ax-murderer in the making.

  118. You forgot PIN–as in, I have to enter my PIN number to get cash from the ATM machine.
    (p.s. I was trying to come up with a gentle way to address this, but you beat me to it! You can be my hero for the rest of the day.)

  119. Mary (the first) says:

    Now for me, the dancing baby on Ally McBeal was just horrible but I LOVE the e-trade babies. LOVE them. Brilliant!

  120. Mary (the first) says:

    I also am a whisker fan and am in love with this one. Actually, if this kitteh decides he can’t forgive his humans, he’s welcome to come home with me. Seriously.

  121. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Please to elaborate one step farther.
    Does she pose for the camera, clothed, nude, or semi-nude???

  122. Creeps me out too! You know what else creeps me out? Those reborn” baby dolls that look JUST like a baby dipped in wax!

  123. “Do I have to stop this car right now?”

  124. :D
    He is Shatnerrific!

  125. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

  126. He said both! I was afraid the one you said would get moderated!

  127. LaureninGeorgia says:

    This picture makes me think of a cat I met the other day. I was at a big party in an old Victorian house, and the hostess allowed us to take a self guided tour. I walked into a particularly beautiful bedroom. Sitting in the middle of the floor is a little silver Persian, looking twice as disgruntled as this one. Every time she would hear a strange voice or sound, she’d frown a little harder. Her expression said: “This is MY home – why are all these strange and noisy giant intruders here?? Hummppphhh.” She did, however, graciously accept an ear scritch.

  128. When I find whiskers lying around that have fallen out of somebody’s face, I save them. I have quite a nice collection. Perhaps some day I will use them in a craft project.

  129. I so want in on this one!

  130. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    hmmmmm…….

  131. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ Theresa:

    you.
    forgot.
    the.

    periods/ the Overly. Dramatic. Pauses.
    :)

  132. don’t forget your “PIN” (Personal Identification Number) Number!

    putting the pet in “petty,”

    sharpy ;)

  133. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    The Effrontery of us bipeds. Interrupting *HER* day.

    Harrumph.

  134. jinx!

  135. The dialogue is what kills me about the Etrade baby commercials, i.e. Shankapottomous, Milk-a-WHAT?, “Riding the dog like a small pony is FROWNED UPON at this ESTABLISHMENT!!” They all kill me.

  136. Agreed!

  137. A friend of mine’s daughter has a little “museum” which includes a bottle of cat and dog whiskers. And some other choice little things like leaves, shells, etc. A real Cabinet of Curiosities.

  138. ok folks, we digress – let’s get back to the subject at hand – NOMTOM’s coffee table
    book. WANT!

  139. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    er……

  140. I was saving cat hair from brushing my cats for a while. I saw a website
    where you could have it woven into a scarf. I had all different colors. But I got
    lazy… and threw it all away… (for some reason I hate brushing my cats.)

  141. LOL, this is what kitteh holiday photos should look like:

  142. Beth covered in cat hair says:

    I have one of my cat’s baby teeth. Is that strange?
    btw, love this kitty’s beautiful eyes!

  143. Hmmm. Tell us more about your childhood, NTMTOM.

  144. Beth covered in cat hair says:

    I’ve saved the hair from two of my cats with the same notion of making something. I’m glad I did, I had to put one of them to sleep a few months back and it, strangely, means much to me to have something of her still.

  145. kibblenibble says:

    Persians always look grumpy. They are sweet-natured, though, as a rule. At least, my Isabella was.

  146. You are a braver peep than I… *stands back to see if Berg is left with a hand, or a stump*

  147. Holy carp, is that for real?

  148. Nobody called the Puss in Boots Eyes! I am dead, too full of shame to go on. Whatever I did kitty, I didn’t mean it, and I will make it up with tuna and catnip all day every day forever and ever,,, GaaAAHHH. Stop looking at me like that!!!!!!!

  149. Well, I still have a hand, but it now bears many festive red decorative lines… and I feel a bit light-headed from blood loss. Totally worth it, though!

  150. OK, although I was going to suggest that if you were left with a stump, at least you could get some cute goats to jump on it.

  151. I’m in! I love all the C.O. crew, but NTMTOM is my fave ’cause he cracks me up EVERY time. <3

  152. I heart you Theresa.

  153. And, I’d like the book to have an introduction by The Prickly Kid, please.

  154. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ wuyizidi:

    And when that cat lies AROUND the HOUSE, he/ she lies
    AROUND THA HOUSE !!!!! :)

  155. Yes, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

  156. Oh Mike, but not the other Mike, how you make me chuckle.

  157. Daphne Moss says:

    Reproachful stare…he haz it.

  158. Me too, me too, me too!!!!!!

  159. Oooooo, that would be nice.

  160. Agreed too. It’s almost a bewildered look of “Why? Just why?”

  161. *snerkity snerk*

  162. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    excellent adjective cherce, there !

  163. I’m with you Theresa; I love the etrade baby. I just like snarky little kids, I think. My 7 yr. old grandson killed me one day when he came angrily into the house, dropped his backpack in disgust and said, “Well, that was just great!” with terrific sarcasm after a day at school when things had definitely not gone his way. I just like kids who get sarcasm; it’s so rare!!!

  164. I think you mean scourge, not scrounge, unless he really did go begging for food from door to door.

  165. feathersfluff says:

    Excellent frontal verbiage there, mike or the other, posssibly, might be mike. Just too much fun and grins and laughs.

    Thank you, sincerely. It all was needed.

  166. feathersfluff says:

    FYI, just saying. There is no need for a hypen between ‘deeply’ and ‘ingrained,’ as adverbs are seldom hypenated and certainly not as a compound adjective.

    Everyone does it these days. sigh I’ve written everyone about it, but it still persists. At least the NYT sent me a nice letter.

    Love and kisses, kindly, to all…

  167. feathersfluff says:

    hyphen, hyphenated…gah. Red wine, away with you or not, come closer…

  168. bwahahahahahahahaha!!!
    I also like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_Gnome_Liberationists

  169. That baby looks like it’s plotting something!

  170. The dialogue is funny. It’s the creepy facial animation that puts me off the Etrade babies.

  171. Somebody tell me, why can´t *I* embed a photo here? Tried to embed an awkward Xmas photo of my Janelle here earlier and I did use the triangular bracket img src HTML tag but it didn´t work! :( Let me know pls?

  172. *shatnery snerk*

  173. I am now!!

  174. Oh, dear. Anyone who speaks Cat Language can understand the many nuances of that look!

  175. The bf saves our kitty’s whiskers in his wallet, and brings them out at parties when people start showing pictures of their babies.

  176. OMG that is so sweet!!! And there´s me thinking *I* was mad. ;)

  177. It’s not actually snow is it? The kitty is in a studio and seems to be surrounded by cotton wool.

  178. Quite! Falling somewhere between disdain and baleful… a notch or two below disapprovitude…

  179. I’m the owner. lol in the hi-res image, you can see all sorts of stuff in the reflection from his eyes.

  180. he’d probably love it. he lives with two other cats, two dogs and a chinchilla.

  181. CariceLaur says:

    Two words : Pooping Face.

  182. LOL!

  183. But you gotta get a picture when him is so handsome in his lil’ fur tuxedo.

  184. I would of sat down beside that kitty and given her lots and lots of pets while commenting just how beautiful she looks in her silver fur coat, LaureninGeorgia :D

  185. Or he can come to my house :D

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