I hate you. I just want you to know that. It’s not enough that I can feel the eyes of an army of garden gnomes upon me as I take my morning constitutional;
Or that our home is a museum for every “Princess Diana: The Legend Lives On” commemorative collector plate the Franklin Mint ever sold;
Or that night after night, I curl up on the nicotine-scented plastic slipcovers and hope against hope that the evening’s entertainment will consist of something other than “Swingin’ Alive: Frank Sinatra Jr. Sings The Bee Gees.”
No. Every year, you drive me downtown, and make me do … this.
If looks could kill, Lori N.
I love you, poor angry kitty. You’ll get your revenge when the lights go out.
Oh wow… I wouldn’t want to be near this little face tonight!! You know, when it’s dark… and I can’t see him… Sneaking up on me… To do ebil!!!
But you gotta get a picture when him is so handsome in his lil’ fur tuxedo.
Hilarious.
All I want for Christmas is a Best of NOMTOM coffee table book. Please? I’ve been a very good girl this year.
me too!!!
me three! about the book AND being a good girl…
I haven’t been so great, but I sure do want that book . .
Yes, me also. Where do I sign?
I been good too!
*whispers* when no one was watchin’…
YES! A NTMTOM coffee table book would be just the thing!
I heart you Theresa.
What’s the ISBN number? I want to pre-order at Amazon!
Oh, yes! [hurriedly checking bank account]
@ AuntieBellum:
While I admire everything else about you, I will ask your indulgence as I reveal ….[shudder] one of my most deeply-ingrained aversions/ pet peeves.
When you are referring to the publishing data about a book,
the *abbreviation* is “ISBN” …or the phrase,
from which that abbreviation was developed, is/ was
“International Standard Book Number”
Similar to “ATM”/ Automated Teller Machine
–not “ATM Machine” (I still hear national television anchors do that one, and it makes me cringe EVERY TIME so I know I’m prolly too reactive…..).
Also “VIN”/ Vehicle Identification Number
–not “VIN Number”
Signed,
Sorry.
You forgot PIN–as in, I have to enter my PIN number to get cash from the ATM machine.
(p.s. I was trying to come up with a gentle way to address this, but you beat me to it! You can be my hero for the rest of the day.)
jinx!
don’t forget your “PIN” (Personal Identification Number) Number!
putting the pet in “petty,”
sharpy
ok folks, we digress – let’s get back to the subject at hand – NOMTOM’s coffee table
book. WANT!
FYI, just saying. There is no need for a hypen between ‘deeply’ and ‘ingrained,’ as adverbs are seldom hypenated and certainly not as a compound adjective.
Everyone does it these days. sigh I’ve written everyone about it, but it still persists. At least the NYT sent me a nice letter.
Love and kisses, kindly, to all…
hyphen, hyphenated…gah. Red wine, away with you or not, come closer…
I so want in on this one!
I’m in! I love all the C.O. crew, but NTMTOM is my fave ’cause he cracks me up EVERY time. <3
And, I’d like the book to have an introduction by The Prickly Kid, please.
Oooooo, that would be nice.
Me too, me too, me too!!!!!!
you can just SEE the evil in those eyes!
(either that, or the photographer’s reflection, I’m not sure)
I’m the owner. lol in the hi-res image, you can see all sorts of stuff in the reflection from his eyes.
poor angry kitteh….
I love him completely. What is it about PO’d kitties that makes them so adorable?
Probably because like human children, there’s a simple (but powerful) purity to all their emotions, something we as adults cannot help but find precious and lovable. That and their eyes appear even larger when they’re angry.
Ye shall perish.
LOL!!
very effective selection of dialogue there, Mel !!!!
It’s a Meg-ism. I can’t take credit.
Alternatively ….
(echo-ey Monty Python/ Holy Grail voice): “None shall pass….”
I lol’d so hard at this post.
Poor kitty. Mine would kill me in my sleep if I pulled anything like this.
Excellent frontal verbiage there, mike or the other, posssibly, might be mike. Just too much fun and grins and laughs.
Thank you, sincerely. It all was needed.
*sigh*
Just *sigh*
NTMTOM,
… I have to ask! “Swingin’ Alive: Frank Sinatra, Jr. sings The Bee Gees”, did you just make that up? If so, your talents, though appreciated, are wasted here! You need to be on Madison Ave., sharing your gift through wonderful commercials! You could be the designer of the next “Etrade Baby”!! Save us from the terrible-ness that is a Kay Jewelers commercial!!
Or you could stay here and we, your loyal readers, will appreciate you forever!! Actually, I like that idea better!!!
Have a safe and happy holiday!!
Totally agree about NTMTOM’s talents . . .
Butbutbut . . . “Every kiss begins with K!”
I heard some comedian say that Kay Jewelers is wrong and every kiss begins with Budweiser…
Dearie, that’s fabulous!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
Yes, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
I disagree. The Etrade baby just annoys me. NTMTOM cracks me up every time.
Just chiming in here about the Etrade bebeh.
CREEPS ME OUT.
and pretty much the same response, to
the original “dancing baby” bit in the Ally McBeal program, too.
meh.
Oh man, I love that etrade baby – cracks me up every time.
Isn’t there some way we can make the etrade baby go away? Oh, wait…..change the channel…..wait, I want it to go away forever….
Oh, I love ALL the Etrade babies. Especially this one on the right:
I’m with you Theresa; I love the etrade baby. I just like snarky little kids, I think. My 7 yr. old grandson killed me one day when he came angrily into the house, dropped his backpack in disgust and said, “Well, that was just great!” with terrific sarcasm after a day at school when things had definitely not gone his way. I just like kids who get sarcasm; it’s so rare!!!
The only Etrade baby commercial I like is the one where his friend starts singing “Broken Wings.”
Agreed!
Now for me, the dancing baby on Ally McBeal was just horrible but I LOVE the e-trade babies. LOVE them. Brilliant!
Creeps me out too! You know what else creeps me out? Those reborn” baby dolls that look JUST like a baby dipped in wax!
The dialogue is what kills me about the Etrade baby commercials, i.e. Shankapottomous, Milk-a-WHAT?, “Riding the dog like a small pony is FROWNED UPON at this ESTABLISHMENT!!” They all kill me.
The dialogue is funny. It’s the creepy facial animation that puts me off the Etrade babies.
I prefer ‘every kiss’ to “He went to Jared”.
Just saying…
Awww. Mr. Maine Coon looks just like my Missy.
This is one very unhappy camper. Revenge shall be his, I have no doubt.
This must be Big Cat Ear Week at CO.
Are those whiskers, or is kitty munching on dental floss?
That kitteh has the most distinguished whiskerage I’ve seen in a long time!
I was wondering when someone would comment on those.. I myself was like, Holy whiskers, batman!
I also am a whisker fan and am in love with this one. Actually, if this kitteh decides he can’t forgive his humans, he’s welcome to come home with me. Seriously.
When I find whiskers lying around that have fallen out of somebody’s face, I save them. I have quite a nice collection. Perhaps some day I will use them in a craft project.
hmmmmm…….
A friend of mine’s daughter has a little “museum” which includes a bottle of cat and dog whiskers. And some other choice little things like leaves, shells, etc. A real Cabinet of Curiosities.
er……
I have one of my cat’s baby teeth. Is that strange?
btw, love this kitty’s beautiful eyes!
I was saving cat hair from brushing my cats for a while. I saw a website
where you could have it woven into a scarf. I had all different colors. But I got
lazy… and threw it all away… (for some reason I hate brushing my cats.)
I’ve saved the hair from two of my cats with the same notion of making something. I’m glad I did, I had to put one of them to sleep a few months back and it, strangely, means much to me to have something of her still.
The bf saves our kitty’s whiskers in his wallet, and brings them out at parties when people start showing pictures of their babies.
OMG that is so sweet!!! And there´s me thinking *I* was mad.
Or he can come to my house
He doesn’t look angry as much as he looks “How could you DO this to me???”
I concur, he looks totally put upon. That is the look of sheer woe-is-me misery. (I’m sure anger and revenge will follow, though.)
Kitty isn’t angry, just disappointed.
That was always when you *KNEW* you were gonna be visiting the woodshed. When the parents sighed profoundly and told you they weren’t angry, they were (sigh) “so……disa-ppointed……”
Signed,
This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you.
*shudder*
But surely, Ms. Thomas, you NEVER misbehaved as a youngster?!
@ skippymom:
ma’am, *I* was never a youngster.
“You want me to GIVE you something to cry about?”
“Do I have to stop this car right now?”
Yea, I too think he’s just shocked and disappointed and dismayed: “How COULD you!?”
I completely agree. He’s got that Muppet look of, “Why, oh why does the universe insist on saddling me with these nincompoops!”
Agreed too. It’s almost a bewildered look of “Why? Just why?”
Poor kitteh. Trapped in a kitschy world he never made…
I’m hearing Tom Jones playing in the background…
Is this the song?
WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!
Oh yes. That kitteh’s upset. Look at those flat ears. Someone had better hide their favorite shoes.
“seriously. do i look like i’m in heaven?”
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Survive-Garden-Gnome-Attack/dp/158008463X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293030351&sr=1-1
wow!!!
bwahahahahahahahaha!!!
I also like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_Gnome_Liberationists
Love the ears-back look of discomfiture.
i can’t see the ebil… am i the only one who doesn’t see it? oh poor thing~ there isn’t an ebil bone in his little fluffy body!
Wowers. NOMTOM has a dark side!
…I like it!
Kitteh thinks of nothing but murder all day…
Ah, another reader of “The Onion!”
I must point out that no one has yet stepped forward to beep the pink nose on this disgruntled kitteh. Far be it from me to let that go undone…
You are a braver peep than I… *stands back to see if Berg is left with a hand, or a stump*
Well, I still have a hand, but it now bears many festive red decorative lines… and I feel a bit light-headed from blood loss. Totally worth it, though!
OK, although I was going to suggest that if you were left with a stump, at least you could get some cute goats to jump on it.
Uh, oh.
Not sure if the cat is scared or disgusted.
This must be how he’s feeling inside:
This is an awesome picture! I may have to make it my wallpaper.
Look at the hurt and pain in those eyes.
Agony!
Beyond the power of speech
When the one thing you want
Is the only thing out of your reach.
The nearest exit
I LOVE that song. One of my favorite musicals.
Oh dear. Someone had better shake out their shoes.
Ouch, I’m cringing in shame here, as my poor cats could echo every one of this kitty’s complaints.
my cat looks at me like this all the time. I don’t have to do anything to her, she’s just permanently angry and disappointed in me.
I had a Maine Coon like that. It was either this look or the Infidel Sideye. I needed therapy after he passes.
Hey, y’all, I’m over here in the Mod Lounge. My shout this round if anyone wants to join me!
Ha! I’m out, and I didn’t even have to buy any drinks!
hip, hip and also
)
HOORAY for skippymom (and prolly Sharpy, too
Sharpy is my hero.
that’s a pretty low bar you have there.
Matter of fact, I’m all about keeping the bar low. How does that saying go, “High expectations are preconceived disappointments”?
i know high expectations are a really bad idea during the holidays.
A low bar– isn’t that what LIMBO is all about?
It’s a good thing there’s a low bar in the Snickering Lounge, so that we can reach it when we’re collapsed on the floor from the cute.
so….I shouldn’t try kissing it right now.
prolly not.
Oooh, someone’s getting something WORSE than coal in their stocking this year!
Uhmm……cute, sad or angry catergory now?
I agree with the others, this poor baby looks so disappointed that his “people” have done this to him/her.
He can come to my house and play with me, my 2 dogs and rabbit
let’s hope he likes playing with doggies, or he might make an unhappy face!
he’d probably love it. he lives with two other cats, two dogs and a chinchilla.
“WHY?! Oh god, the HUMANITY!!”
Or is that the kittehhood?
lmao!
Kitty needs some Head and Shoulders stat!
And this is Janelle´s way of saying “Merry Frickin Xmas”:
Ok. Again. Here´s Janelle saying “Merry Frickin Xmas”:
http://www.themadcatlady.com/20/12/2010/merry-frickin-xmas/
This beeyooteeful kitty bears a remarkable resemblance to my dear departed Witchie, who could also speak volumes with her eyes. I miss her.
condolences, kn . And hugs. Lots of hugs.
At least Santa is not holding the cat. Every year the mall has days that your pet can have a photo with Santa. Some of the animals do great–and some, well, I feel sorry for the pets and Santa.
Understandable. My mother couldn’t even get me to sit with some strange looking guy in a weird house that I’d never seen before and smelled funny, she certainly wasn’t going to try with the cat, a killer Siamese and scourge of the neighborhood.
“Scared of Santa”
Scared of Santa: Scenes of Terror in Toyland
how heartwarming, T
@ Kar and Linda: the responses of les animaux also seem reasonable when one considers meeting Santa, For the First Time, without knowing any backstory, and encountering him
in That Red Suit and all…
I think you mean scourge, not scrounge, unless he really did go begging for food from door to door.
what a sweet kitty, to actually be sitting still while it’s feeling that way… if mine were that scared/disappointed/pissed, they’d have scratched my arms to shreds by now and be hiding under the nearest piece of furniture large enough… lol… I do love them all!
WHO HIT ME!
Poor thing looks terribly miserable. But adorable all the same!
Those…those are the Ears of DOOM!
He looks less murderously angry than a lot of cats in that kind of situation. He mostly looks like he’s trying to remember what dignity felt like. XD
har! maybe this picture belongs on awkward family photos.
A blond ax-murderer in the making.
That baby looks like it’s plotting something!
Two words : Pooping Face.
LOL!
Excellent photo. Now step away from the camera, and nobody gets scratched.
“Cute or sad” tag, where are you?
right here!
Um, shouldn’t this have an “Impeding Doom” tag?
PS, anybody else hearing “Oh Don Piano”?
Whyyyy I eyes ya!!!
Oh Long John!
I thought he said “Oh Long Johnson,” or maybe that;s just the way I heard it.
He said both! I was afraid the one you said would get moderated!
I am now!!
Those have GOT to be the most LUXURIOUS whiskers I haz evarr seen!!! <3
I must have the weirdest kitty in the world. If I did that to her, she would be posing for the camera. Any flash that goes off and she is glued to your camera. She loves having her picture taken. At least until you get out the video camera. Then she hides. And to top it off, she likes to wear clothes…
Please to elaborate one step farther.
Does she pose for the camera, clothed, nude, or semi-nude???
Kitteh is SKEERED! (and perhaps starting to feel outrage)
That’s how our cat looks at my husband all the time. She’s not mad at him, just put-upon by his bumbling existence.
Trying to decide if peeved off kitteh is a Kirk or a Kahn….
He don’t need no stinkin’ hairpieces.
He is Shatnerrific!
@ Theresa:
you.
forgot.
the.
periods/ the Overly. Dramatic. Pauses.
*snerkity snerk*
*shatnery snerk*
And now for my regular kittayn anecdote. Maggie was running around pell-mell this morning, and I picked her up to snorgle her. I commented that her little heart was going a mile a minute, and my hubby said, “Of course. She’s busy. It’s hard work, growing.”
This picture makes me think of a cat I met the other day. I was at a big party in an old Victorian house, and the hostess allowed us to take a self guided tour. I walked into a particularly beautiful bedroom. Sitting in the middle of the floor is a little silver Persian, looking twice as disgruntled as this one. Every time she would hear a strange voice or sound, she’d frown a little harder. Her expression said: “This is MY home – why are all these strange and noisy giant intruders here?? Hummppphhh.” She did, however, graciously accept an ear scritch.
The Effrontery of us bipeds. Interrupting *HER* day.
Harrumph.
Persians always look grumpy. They are sweet-natured, though, as a rule. At least, my Isabella was.
I would of sat down beside that kitty and given her lots and lots of pets while commenting just how beautiful she looks in her silver fur coat, LaureninGeorgia
LOL, this is what kitteh holiday photos should look like:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldqsdyTsAo1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg
Holy carp, is that for real?
Seems to be: http://thedailywh.at/post/2391234413/eminently-captionable-photo-of-the-day-gus-was-so
@ wuyizidi:
And when that cat lies AROUND the HOUSE, he/ she lies
AROUND THA HOUSE !!!!!
Hmmm. Tell us more about your childhood, NTMTOM.
Nobody called the Puss in Boots Eyes! I am dead, too full of shame to go on. Whatever I did kitty, I didn’t mean it, and I will make it up with tuna and catnip all day every day forever and ever,,, GaaAAHHH. Stop looking at me like that!!!!!!!
Oh Mike, but not the other Mike, how you make me chuckle.
Reproachful stare…he haz it.
excellent adjective cherce, there !
Quite! Falling somewhere between disdain and baleful… a notch or two below disapprovitude…
Somebody tell me, why can´t *I* embed a photo here? Tried to embed an awkward Xmas photo of my Janelle here earlier and I did use the triangular bracket img src HTML tag but it didn´t work!
Let me know pls?
Oh, dear. Anyone who speaks Cat Language can understand the many nuances of that look!
It’s not actually snow is it? The kitty is in a studio and seems to be surrounded by cotton wool.