Punchlines Only Cats Get

“…so the chicken said, ‘Take my eggs—please!'”


“I dreamt I ate my pillow, and when I woke up, the dog was gone!”


“Mr. Bigglesworth isn’t in right now. Would you like to leave a hairball?”

Don't make me laugh..!!!

Lulz, Peter H., Shadamai and Urban Spaceman. Punchlines for dogs here.



  1. awwwwwww baby roarrrrrrrrrrrrr

  2. [snatching kittens and stuffing them in car] What kittens? [shifty eyes]

  3. When are we going to have punchlines only fish get?

  4. Such perfect black lipliner!

  5. Why have turkey this year when you could have a pair of absolutely “baked” kittens?

  6. Ummm… *hears kittayn mews and taps foot* NOT buying that you are practicing your voice throwing techniques on that basket of “laundry” back there…


    (That was Dante laughing:
    http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1514250097054217802jsJtWA )

  8. Nice work, pyrit! And the hovertexts are genius. I can’t tell you how badly I need CO today–it’s better than therapy and it’s FREE.

  9. Two things:

    1. Yeay Pyrit!! 🙂
    2. That is such a gorgeous kitty in the last photo. Such cool colors.

  10. Bwahahaha! Awesome! :mrgreen:

  11. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Victoreia: you MIGHT need to change your strategy. That whole “shifty eyes” thang tends to give you away ……

    Jus’ sayin’ ….

    AND WHA’???? SINCE WHEN is/ was PYRIT, a POSTER?????
    but lovin’ it…..

  12. Aww….Adorable!!!

  13. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Are you Not That Meg, The Other Meg(han)??? 🙂

  14. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    (earnest, puzzled expresshon): In re the first joke: is that a
    Motherhood Joke or a Poultry Joke????

  15. No, that’s the radio tucked in there. Yeah, that’s it.

  16. Drat! Forgot my poker face!

  17. OMG this is my favorite recurring theme. 😀

  18. (The Original) Mel says:

    Yep. You’re right. I’m a cop, and they always glance towards the goods or the escape route. Shifty eyes are a dead giveaway. Lulz.

  19. Thank goodness Dante has white parts you’d lose him on that chair!

  20. Michelle H. says:

    @debg, ditto! Holiday stresses drove me to C.O. for a pick-me-up and I laughed out loud at this one. That first photo looks so like something you would snap on a vacation. Still laughing; thanks…

  21. Sqeeeee! that third picture looks exactly like my Mia when she was a baby!

    Such a little ball of fur, such a big attitude, she tough she was the Queen of the World back then.

    Now that she’s bigger she KNOWS she is.

  22. kibblenibble says:

    Yay, Pyrit! Go, Pyrit, go!

    On a side note, when kitties have black or grey lips like these cats do, I like to refer to them as “Mousie Lips.” 🙂

  23. I’m that Meag.

  24. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:


    I agree with Liebs; I think we have a nice running gag developing here. Now I can’t wait until we come across another set of “laughing” animals. 😀

  25. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    works for Me. 🙂

  26. Not to mention the white eyeliner!

  27. Silly… it’s a kitteh joke! You won’t get it.

  28. By the way… I do hope that we still see as many of your faboolous posts, my dear man. You have spoiled us, you know. We expect more……..


    one of your biggest fans

  29. Hey… Pyrit’s got a new gig!!! Yea, Pyrit!

  30. Omg Pyrit ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Yay!!!

  31. Theresa – Which circle of hell, was he in at the time 🙂

  32. Hmm, oh yeh, yea Pyrit, mumble favouritism,whatcha have to do,grumble frrzzprmpmipple,

    No really, well done Pyrit me old china (china plate -mate).

  33. Not only do I not get my cats jokes, Stan was starring at something in front of my Don Quixote poster, this morning. I looked and saw nothing other than the poster,{{{spooky}}}

  34. Oh, he was just on UFO patrol.

  35. (James Brown riff)

  36. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    *headpalm* “D’oh!!! No WONder!!” 🙂

  37. you just made me snarf yo!

  38. Good job, Pyrit!
    Funneh kittehs!

  39. PYRIT! You’re a mod! Wow! Congrats!

  40. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    well, we allas KNEW that pyrit was MOD, it’s just that now she is *A* mod(erator)!

  41. waaaahhhhhhh!!!!111!!!

    there is one moderator and that’s me. ME! *stomp* pyrit is a writer, which is much more than a mere moderator, but sheesh, you guys are giving me a complex!

    you must respect my authoritie! please?

  42. Queen of Dork says:

    (heart) to you Sharpy. I haven’t read this whole thread as I just finished post-Thanksgiving clean up and am exhausted but I think you’re really cool. 🙂

    I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was full of thanks and lots of peace!

  43. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad, it’s so funny that you say that! Just this morning, my SamKitty was literally STARING at the hallway leading toward my room like he saw SOMETHING. I could not see what the heck he was seeing and it was freaking me out! Especially since I really wanted to go in there to make my bed but I was kind of afraid of what might be waiting for me in there…(shiver)

  44. thanks, QoD. i had a really nice thanksgiving and i hope everyone else in cute-land did, too.

    [DELETED]crybaby comments written after a night of missing my family who live far away[/DELETED]


    all betteuw! :mrgreen:

  45. Queen of Dork says:

    *opens the door holding a candle and a candy cane, wearing a Santa hat and a smile. And a slice of apple pie with homemade whipped cream. (yummy!)* 🙂

  46. Queen of Dork says:

    Oops. That sounds a tad strange. (Revision) – Also wearing my sweat pants and my sweat shirt I always wear when it’s cold and I’m at home. he-he. And a smile. And ummmmm. hmmmmmm. I guess I’ll just shut the heck up now. Oh! And also, the kittens look hilarious! I got every one of those jokes! (uh-oh. My brain must be Abbey-normal….)

  47. NOMTOM – “another set of “laughing” animals” – Ooooh! Hyenas!

  48. The Circle of Living Room Furniture.

  49. Getting instructions from his alien masters, I’m tellin’ ya. :mrgreen:

  50. Awww, Sharpy! Have some cheesecake!

  51. 🙂

  52. Sharpy – Remember –
    “Smile though your heart is breaking
    Smile even though it’s aching
    Smile though a tear maybe ever so near……….”

  53. dolphins!

  54. Queen of Dork says:

    Gosh Hon Glad. Now I can’t get that song out of my head. 😯




  56. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Well “played”, Theresa 😉

  57. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    (psst — hey, sharpy: QoD makes whipped cream
    FRESH from scratch!!!….I dunno whether PrincessofDork and SamKitty ate it all up, already, but ….)

  58. Queen of Dork says:


  59. Gail White says:

    Joke openings only cats get:

    “So a rabbi, a priest, and a poodle walk into a bar..”

  60. Queen of Dork says:

    And the poodle and the thing shouted, “Litter!” Hahahahahahahaha!

  61. Queen of Dork says:

    Well, it cracked my cat up.


  62. Not to mention it would be hard to keep a poker face if said kittens are stuffed inside one’s shirt 😆

  63. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    yay? 🙂

  64. GRABBY HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!! WHIPPED CREAM FOR ME NOW!!!!1111!!