Punchlines Only Cats Get

“…so the chicken said, ‘Take my eggs—please!'”


“I dreamt I ate my pillow, and when I woke up, the dog was gone!”


“Mr. Bigglesworth isn’t in right now. Would you like to leave a hairball?”

Don't make me laugh..!!!

Lulz, Peter H., Shadamai and Urban Spaceman. Punchlines for dogs here.


  1. awwwwwww baby roarrrrrrrrrrrrr

  2. [snatching kittens and stuffing them in car] What kittens? [shifty eyes]

  3. Ummm… *hears kittayn mews and taps foot* NOT buying that you are practicing your voice throwing techniques on that basket of “laundry” back there…

  4. No, that’s the radio tucked in there. Yeah, that’s it.

  5. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Victoreia: you MIGHT need to change your strategy. That whole “shifty eyes” thang tends to give you away ……

    Jus’ sayin’ ….

    AND WHA’???? SINCE WHEN is/ was PYRIT, a POSTER?????
    but lovin’ it…..

  6. Drat! Forgot my poker face!

  7. (The Original) Mel says:

    Yep. You’re right. I’m a cop, and they always glance towards the goods or the escape route. Shifty eyes are a dead giveaway. Lulz.

  8. Not to mention it would be hard to keep a poker face if said kittens are stuffed inside one’s shirt :lol:

  9. When are we going to have punchlines only fish get?

  10. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Are you Not That Meg, The Other Meg(han)??? :)

  11. I’m that Meag.

  12. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    works for Me. :)

  13. Such perfect black lipliner!

  14. Not to mention the white eyeliner!

  15. Why have turkey this year when you could have a pair of absolutely “baked” kittens?


    (That was Dante laughing:
    http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1514250097054217802jsJtWA )

  17. Thank goodness Dante has white parts you’d lose him on that chair!

  18. Theresa – Which circle of hell, was he in at the time :)

  19. The Circle of Living Room Furniture.

  20. :)

  21. Nice work, pyrit! And the hovertexts are genius. I can’t tell you how badly I need CO today–it’s better than therapy and it’s FREE.

  22. Two things:

    1. Yeay Pyrit!! :)
    2. That is such a gorgeous kitty in the last photo. Such cool colors.

  23. Bwahahaha! Awesome! :mrgreen:

  24. Aww….Adorable!!!

  25. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    (earnest, puzzled expresshon): In re the first joke: is that a
    Motherhood Joke or a Poultry Joke????

  26. Silly… it’s a kitteh joke! You won’t get it.

  27. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    *headpalm* “D’oh!!! No WONder!!” :)

  28. OMG this is my favorite recurring theme. :D

  29. Michelle H. says:

    @debg, ditto! Holiday stresses drove me to C.O. for a pick-me-up and I laughed out loud at this one. That first photo looks so like something you would snap on a vacation. Still laughing; thanks…

  30. Sqeeeee! that third picture looks exactly like my Mia when she was a baby!

    Such a little ball of fur, such a big attitude, she tough she was the Queen of the World back then.

    Now that she’s bigger she KNOWS she is.

  31. kibblenibble says:

    Yay, Pyrit! Go, Pyrit, go!

    On a side note, when kitties have black or grey lips like these cats do, I like to refer to them as “Mousie Lips.” :-)

  32. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:


    I agree with Liebs; I think we have a nice running gag developing here. Now I can’t wait until we come across another set of “laughing” animals. :D

  33. By the way… I do hope that we still see as many of your faboolous posts, my dear man. You have spoiled us, you know. We expect more……..


    one of your biggest fans

  34. NOMTOM – “another set of “laughing” animals” – Ooooh! Hyenas!

  35. dolphins!

  36. Hey… Pyrit’s got a new gig!!! Yea, Pyrit!

  37. (James Brown riff)

  38. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Well “played”, Theresa ;)

  39. Omg Pyrit <3 <3 <3 <3 Yay!!!

  40. Hmm, oh yeh, yea Pyrit, mumble favouritism,whatcha have to do,grumble frrzzprmpmipple,

    No really, well done Pyrit me old china (china plate -mate).

  41. Not only do I not get my cats jokes, Stan was starring at something in front of my Don Quixote poster, this morning. I looked and saw nothing other than the poster,{{{spooky}}}

  42. Oh, he was just on UFO patrol.

  43. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad, it’s so funny that you say that! Just this morning, my SamKitty was literally STARING at the hallway leading toward my room like he saw SOMETHING. I could not see what the heck he was seeing and it was freaking me out! Especially since I really wanted to go in there to make my bed but I was kind of afraid of what might be waiting for me in there…(shiver)

  44. Getting instructions from his alien masters, I’m tellin’ ya. :mrgreen:

  45. you just made me snarf yo!

  46. Good job, Pyrit!
    Funneh kittehs!

  47. PYRIT! You’re a mod! Wow! Congrats!

  48. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    well, we allas KNEW that pyrit was MOD, it’s just that now she is *A* mod(erator)!

  49. waaaahhhhhhh!!!!111!!!

    there is one moderator and that’s me. ME! *stomp* pyrit is a writer, which is much more than a mere moderator, but sheesh, you guys are giving me a complex!

    you must respect my authoritie! please?

  50. Queen of Dork says:

    (heart) to you Sharpy. I haven’t read this whole thread as I just finished post-Thanksgiving clean up and am exhausted but I think you’re really cool. :)

    I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was full of thanks and lots of peace!

  51. thanks, QoD. i had a really nice thanksgiving and i hope everyone else in cute-land did, too.

    [DELETED]crybaby comments written after a night of missing my family who live far away[/DELETED]


    all betteuw! :mrgreen:

  52. Awww, Sharpy! Have some cheesecake!




  54. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    (psst — hey, sharpy: QoD makes whipped cream
    FRESH from scratch!!!….I dunno whether PrincessofDork and SamKitty ate it all up, already, but ….)

  55. Queen of Dork says:


  56. GRABBY HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!! WHIPPED CREAM FOR ME NOW!!!!1111!!

  57. Queen of Dork says:

    *opens the door holding a candle and a candy cane, wearing a Santa hat and a smile. And a slice of apple pie with homemade whipped cream. (yummy!)* :)

  58. Queen of Dork says:

    Oops. That sounds a tad strange. (Revision) – Also wearing my sweat pants and my sweat shirt I always wear when it’s cold and I’m at home. he-he. And a smile. And ummmmm. hmmmmmm. I guess I’ll just shut the heck up now. Oh! And also, the kittens look hilarious! I got every one of those jokes! (uh-oh. My brain must be Abbey-normal….)

  59. Sharpy – Remember –
    “Smile though your heart is breaking
    Smile even though it’s aching
    Smile though a tear maybe ever so near……….”

  60. Queen of Dork says:

    Gosh Hon Glad. Now I can’t get that song out of my head. 8O

  61. Gail White says:

    Joke openings only cats get:

    “So a rabbi, a priest, and a poodle walk into a bar..”

  62. Queen of Dork says:

    And the poodle and the thing shouted, “Litter!” Hahahahahahahaha!

  63. Queen of Dork says:

    Well, it cracked my cat up.


  64. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    yay? :)


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