Dr. Drew, Where are You?

Dear Maru:

You are an amazing cat. You make us laugh on a daily basis. We imagine what it must feel like to be whipped by your 12-pound tail. We marvel at your glorious girth; your density puts Garfield to shame. But we write this letter because we fear for your well being. Your addiction has become all-consuming. We love you and we ask you to seek treatment today. Will you?

xoxo

C.O.

Comments

  1. Poor, poor Maru! I have a boxhab that’s absolutely 100% guaranteed to get you off the box habit! Please feel free to visit!

    I LOVE Maru with the thin and slim boxes!

  2. Oh, Maru. You had me when you stuck your whole head in the wee and small box.

    For the love of cats, somebody take him to UPS and hook him up with his very own correctly sized box.

  3. Maru kitty tail
    Shows crankiness at box size
    Why won’t he fit in?

  4. LOL… Maru is a box addict

  5. kibblenibble says:

    :lol:

  6. Queen of Dork says:

    Maru! What is wrong with you??!! *shakes fist at sky* Can you not beat this box addiction? *tries to be sad and angry. but really I’m in tears from laughing*

  7. Poor Maru. I am ashamed at myself for RoFLMAO.

  8. <3 <3 <3

  9. Reminds me of me when I try to fit into last years fashion….toooooo small but I never feel too big!!

  10. Here is the disapproving tail wag gif

  11. Maru you are a handsome kitty. I love your tail swishing back and forth.

  12. “As god as my witness, I will make this fit on some part of my body!”

  13. The thin box one cracks me up every time. Maru can’t fit in that box!!

  14. MARU FOR PRESIDENT 2012
    It’s time we had a candidate who can think inside the box.

  15. yay!

  16. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    Maru, Maru……………..

    hmmm…..before you ask, “Does this box make my…”

    yes, yes. It does.

    However (if it’s of any comfort) I feel sympathetic indignation,
    right along with you, over the “slim” box’s irritating refusal to cooperate with your attempts to conquer all boxes.

  17. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    How soon can I send in my absentee ballot????

  18. he’s doing the marumba!

  19. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    ps… 12 POUND TAIL!!!!! bwa ha and HA!!

  20. Maru’s still having fun with this, (I think) but I wonder if it isn’t time to just give the big old cat a suitably sized box that will accommodate him in comfort.

  21. Look at this one:

    I didn’t know Maru could care about anything that much, he always looks so laid back!

  22. HOW ON EARTH does Maru’s owner manage to take these videos without giggling incessantly? I cannot watch Maru videos without squealing with glee.

  23. Haiku!! I love you
    Marucat is my soul mate
    His floof slays me so!

  24. Love the small skinny box …just the right size for his head, sort of…

    Btw, there’s a new Simon’s Cat out!

  25. There should be an episode of intervention devoted to Maru and box obsession.

  26. Hysterical laughter.

  27. Slim Box. OMG. Slim Box. *wipes tears of laughter off face*

  28. Maru is the biggest Japanese star to hit US shores since Ichiro.

  29. Two:two six slowwww tip:
    You might as well face it, you’re
    Addicted to box.

  30. Swoon!

  31. Poor, Dear, Maru! He reminds me so much of our family cat when I was a child. ‘Pretty-Kitty’ – Yes, that was his name, Purrty for short, he loved stuffing himself into Kleenex tissue boxes, after he he pulled out all the tissues of course. But he always had this very proud and satisfied look about him whenever he did this little trick of his. ;-)

  32. He gets the slim box, just for a moment! You know, I don’t think Maru needs Boxhab, I think he needs to be seen for the inspirational role model that he is. If Everest were a box, Maru would OWN that mountain! Seriously, I must respect this faboo kitty for following his bliss so completely.

  33. In the 1970s my Tonkinese Sammy cat forced himself into a box that my brother had mailed a fairly small clock in. Sammy could only squeeze his legs into the box, so he sat there with his legs tucked in tight and the rest of him puffing out all over, and he pretended, “Yes, this feels perfect. Just what I wanted!”

    Obviously he was unwilling to admit he had made a mistake, so he continued to sit there until the box fell over with his legs still stuffed in tight, and then he just lay there like that until I helped him get out, because it was such a tight fit.

  34. psychethos says:

    Maru with that slim box is basically the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. The excitement with which he jumps right in, the frustration on his face as he realizes that a leg is still exposed, the momentary victory as me manages to squeeze in, the defeat as he perhaps discovers that he can’t actually breathe in such confinement, the flop (oh dear god, the flop), and then the desperate horizontal efforts with eventual resignation to just having one of his shoulders in the box.

    Maru, what I wouldn’t give for just a day with you.

  35. I know!!! He must have a piece of tape over his mouth!

  36. I love the look on his face as he stuffs himself in the slim box. “I AM A DAINTY KITTY DAMMIT!”

  37. I love how he looks around furtively to see if anyone is looking before he attempts the impossible (ca. 1:30)!

  38. It’s like giving a junkie a sewing needle for his smack.

  39. Maru’s owner is a she and yes she has the best self control I have ever witness.

  40. Maru is such a relentless optimist! “Why yes, I will fit nicely into this slim box…”.

    I just love this fantastic goofball.

  41. Martha in Washington says:

    When Maru sits around the box, he sits AROUND the box!

    Slim box FTW, or fail, depends on how you look at it I guess. Either way, it is ROFLMAO funny!

  42. which would, of course, be every box in the place.

  43. :lol:

  44. maru! you’re in denial. admitting you have a problem is the first step in boxhab.

  45. Boxhab a life threatening sichiashun? I think not!!!

    We love Maru’s focus and intention. Give us more!

  46. Oh Maru, you’ve done it again! XD
    That is a cat in serious, SERIOUS need of box rehab.
    It’s his cute gorgeousity that is soooodisarming!

  47. WHERE did this cat COME from????? I’m a Maru junkie too!!!

  48. O NO He/She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    :)

  49. I <3 Maru! I want to squish him!

  50. HAhahahahaha!

  51. LMAO @ 2:26 into the video. Maru makes me smile. Look at that wagging tail :)

  52. Watching Maru trying to squeeze into small boxes is like watching a person trying to squeeze himself/herself into a pair of jeans two sizes too small.

  53. that last one, where Maru’s, um, posterior is just not going to squish in there – fantastic! This made me laugh and laugh. I LOVE YOU, MARU! (and I bet his tail does weigh 12 pounds!)

  54. Slim.
    Box.
    Flop.

    *falls off chair laughing* :lol:

  55. My Gram and I were watching an epi of Worlds Cutest Cats tonight on Animal Planet. Maru was one of the vids. I got so excited I yelled out “Thats Maru” before the announcer said it. Grandma looked at me and said “How do you know this things?” I told her about CO and she said “Aint that the darnest?”

  56. Maru actually got on twice in the same category. Too bad he lost, but the winning kitten was very cute, too.

  57. at one point, I thought he almost did fit. O.o;;;

  58. Catsquatch says:

    Oh total lolular.

    First box he looks at the dumb human like “What exactly were you thinking?”
    Then the tail starts, and with it he expresses his complete annoyance with the dumb human and the itty bitty boxes.
    Took him a couple times to get his whole belleh on the low box, but it was entirely unsatisfactory, as evidenced by the madly swishing tail.
    The slim box made me laugh out loud, and at that point I decided Im packing my luggage and going to visit him for some very much needed boxhab.

    That cat is krazy.

    ;D

  59. Maru is too sexy for them boxes!

    Makes me wonder if he ever thinks if the boxes are getting smaller or that he is getting bigger?

    The whole time I am laughing and screaming out “No Maru, she is tricking you, the box is….urg! Bwahahahahaa…too small…hahahaa…” “No Maru don’t be fooled! oi!”

  60. Look at that tail! He is so disapproving.

    “Damn it! Why can’t these humans find a decent-sized box?”

    I hope Maru never goes to boxhab. Because I never want to stop watching videos like these.

  61. “The Case of Too Much Love” is now going to be my new mystery/romance novel.

  62. Why has no one said “Blorp”?

    Maru is rather blorpity.

  63. Or a really fancy video camera with anti-giggle shock absorbers built in. (Or a tripod.)

  64. ROFLMAO at the “Slim Box”, nice attempt Maru !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  65. Wow. Excellent study, I expect to see the writeup in the PISSFCC (Proceedings of the International Society for the Study of Cats and Cardboard). I think we may even see an IgNobel Prize.

  66. Rowan – I keep jeans and trousers, that no longer fit “But I might loose weight”:)

  67. Simply lack of spatial awareness……Selfsatisfied smirk.

  68. Mary (the first) says:

    Maru was on TV?? And I missed it?! darn!! I love him! And how anyone else on EARTH could win a cuter kitty award.. well.. there’s something wrong somewhere!

  69. I wonder if Maru has signed a consent form for this exquisite study :)

  70. This. Is. TOO. FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

    @ tblue – that’s exactly what it looked like. Maru with his feet stuck in the little box and the rest of him a muffin top. It was all giggles and guffaws after that until he falls over in the slim box. That just knocked me off my chair. I’m typing this from the floor. Where I still lie – giggling…

  71. I <3 Maru haiku!

  72. I also thought that kitty tail swishing demonstrated that Maru was annoyed. Poor Maru

  73. I loved the look of contentment when he got into the thin box.

    Whatever he’s doing, Maru is a riot!

  74. Queen of Dork says:

    I recently saw Maru in a commercial! I can’t at the moment remember for sure but I think the commercial was for kitty litter.

  75. …………..and then please write my address on it !

  76. A cry for HELP !
    Could anybody PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE upload the commercial , and the Animal Planet episode , in Holland we have alas a completely different programming…..

  77. Yep, it is for Fresh Step kitty litter

    http://www.litterkwittertoilettraining.com/fresh-step-commercial-with-maru

    Ooh, that special on Animal Planet was awesome! I saved it on the DVR so I can watch it twice more :)

  78. It’s on again several times next weekend.

  79. Hi. Who are you Fluffy number two? Should I change my name or should you?

  80. Queen of Dork says:

    Saffron, that’s really cool and sweet of you to take the time to post that commercial so everyone can bask in Maru’s stardom!! :) Thanks!

  81. Trabb's Boy says:

    I love how he flattens out for the flat box. And I so wish I were computer savvy enough to make a gif of him flopping over in the slim box. ‘Cause I really want to watch that 400 times in a row.

  82. They tried to make him go to boxhab, but he said, “No, no, no!”

  83. Queen of Dork says:

    But actually, shouldn’t this be titled, “Dr PHIL, where are you?” I think Maru needs a session with Dr. Phil. Phil would probably say something like this:
    Maru. Do you realize that your box problem is having an impact on not just you, but those who love you? Maru, this behaviour is toxic. *strokes mustache* Maru, this is effecting everyone in this family emotionally, physically, financially, spiratually, sadly, happily, angrily, mentally and everything else. I can set you up in Cat Hacienda, right now, TODAY. You will go right from this stage to Cat Hacienda, but it’s up to you, Maru. This is the best rehab center in the world and of course it’s located in Texas no doubt. Maru. How much money do you spend each week on boxes? How is that working for you?

  84. He is soooooooo cute!! Give him a hug for me!

  85. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    so true, Steph! Quelle accurate description of Dr. Phil!! :)

  86. My favorite video of Maru in awhile. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all and lap up all Maru-related goodness whenever I get the chance, but this particular video is perfection.
    Thank you Maru.

  87. Someone needs to open a boxadone clinic for kittehs

  88. Is anyone else mesmerized by the little spot on Maru’s nose?

  89. I am mesmerized by the markings on his back! What a beautiful — or I should say dazzlingly and amazingly handsome — cat.

  90. BWAAAAAAAAH! (spitting coffee)

  91. To a T, Q of D!!!

  92. Hold up! Wait a minute! Put a little……….. cat in it!!

    Can’t kick the habit! He’s got to have it! I guess he’s just a box addict, box addict!

  93. He’s all, “I DARE you to take this from me.” I think it’s one of his favorite games.

  94. I kinda of wish we had a like button for comments like these.

  95. Nah, 2016… ;) (How old do you have to be in cat years?)

  96. Ohhhh yeahhhhh. I saw that one and thought of cuteoverload.

  97. Errrmmmm………. *points above* Saffron already posted the link in a reply to YOU, QoD.

    Credit where credit is due, and all.

  98. *ahem* Well. Just ignore my above comment. Since I realized as I hit the submit button that Saffron was also the person who posted it the second time….. oh nevermind.

  99. And then on to Judge Judy. Don’t have more boxes than you can take care of!!

  100. I do that, too. (Until my mother makes me throw them out…..)

  101. Never give up, Maru!

  102. Queen of Dork says:

    muttluver: :) Yes, I saw where Saffron replied to my reply and your reply to your own reply regarding me was really awesome and funny! And I knew what you meant. You’re fun! :)

  103. Queen of Dork says:

    Judge Judy rocks! She would probably say something like: MARU! WHAT? I don’t answer your questions! Do you realize how tremendously stellar my I.Q. is??!! Where are your documents? You did WHAT because of a box?! Where is your evidence? Show me! Where did you think you were coming today, a cat-nip party??!! Step out!

  104. Sorry about the double post….I need posthab :)
    .

  105. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: Oops. I commented to your Judge Judy comment but I got moderated. He-he. *blush*

  106. I love the part where Maru dug at the smallest box to make more room. Also for that box where he ran up but pause, as if shocked to see that the box is not as big as he thought or that maybe it instantly shrunk?
    If she film this all in one day, I wonder if Maru felt like he is having one of those weird days where he is in Wonderland. O.o;;;;

  107. QoD: That doesn’t make sense, and if it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t true! And take your hands out of your pockets! Where did you think you were coming today,Madam?

  108. Queen of Dork says:

    Never give up! Never surrender!

  109. Queen of Dork says:

    Um is not an answer!

  110. That’s my favorite! We say that to each other all the time around here. ROFL

  111. Queen of Dork says:

    “And it exploded”! Hahahahaha! That part never fails to totally crack me up!

  112. Oh, Maru! I love it when Maru decides that the flat box is simply unsatisfactory, and then he just overwhelms it, with a grumpy expression on his face. I also love the teeny box where he tries to find more space by using his paws on it. Ah, but the “slim” box. This is the crux of box-ness! Knowing Maru is out there helps me to deal with my beloved Picky’s demise.

  113. Spatial awareness is so overrated. :mrgreen:

  114. Queen of Dork says:

    Sorry about Picky, Emmberrann. I found out the results of the biopsy for my SamKitty and it’s not good at all. He will have one more Thanksgiving with us.

  115. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    In re nose & The Spot: YES!!

    for some cwazy weason, I was all focussed on that the last time I watched the video …

  116. I love the peevish swishing tail!

  117. Oh QoD! I am so sorry! {{{{{{{{{{Queenie and Sam}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  118. FTW! perfectly expressed, IMHO

  119. i lol’d at maru jumping in slim box. it was a lil skinnier than he thought. fat lil guy

  120. I am now an official convert to the wonderfulness that is Maru.

  121. (The Original) Mel says:

    I changed mine when that other floozie named Mel came on here.

  122. (The Original) Mel says:

    What Maru is thinking: A BOX!!! This is Mah Box! I’m sittin in mah box. Ehn. Ehn. Sittin in mah box.

  123. This is about a 1000X’s win.

    gawd I absolutely love that movie.

  124. Space Cowgirl says:

    They tried to make him go to boxhab, and he said “nyerhe!” ./throwback

  125. :lol: Seeing Maru try to stuff his furry body into those smaller boxes reminds me how our cat, Badger, would try to stuff herself into an empty Kleenex box as she got bigger :lol:

  126. QoD! I echo Theresa’s words. But at least you know to treat him special and tolerate any naughtiness, and maybe? you will finally find that contract.

  127. “Hold, please.”

  128. I love Maru so much it’s ridiculous. I’m starting to have fantasies of going to Japan and stealing him. I would bring him home and give him all the boxes in all the sizes he could possibly ever dream of!

    My favorite moment: When he sticks his head in the little box, like he’s thinking, “Maybe there’s a BIGGER box inside there.”

  129. “I don’t give a rat’s buh-hind!”

  130. I have boxes of jeans in storage, ranging from size 0 to size 14. Just in case… (I used to flip-flop within a 50 lb range somewhat easily, which my doc pointed out is very unhealthy to do within short periods of time. Thankfully I think I’ve found a stable, healthy weight.)

  131. That sounds like it belongs in a Dr. Seuss book. :lol:

  132. ROFLMAO

  133. Didn’t we have thumbs up/thumbs down for a while?

  134. Blorpity = Best. Adjective. Ever.

  135. Saffron, just say No, No, No…

  136. Maru rules. I love how cats don’t care about their “body image.” Maru just leaps right into the tall skinny box! I have a big girl kitty 16 lbs) and she acts like she doesn’t know it. She just does her thing. I admire that about her and Maru!

  137. They should play this video at all Manhattan apartment rental offices:

    “Dear 20-somethings, do you really want to live in NYC? Do you think you have the necessary physical and mental aptitudes (flexibility, adaptability, calm tolerance of extremely small spaces…), watch this video and find out!!”

  138. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    Briefly, yes; until sufficiently outraged numbers of thumbs down (or something unknown) caused CO to discontinue them. I don’t think that even lasted one full week; altho’ I might be incorrect …

  139. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    I have managed to stitch together the meaning of many cuteAcronyms however…never have figured out, for which word, the R at the beginning of that one stands ….please to explicate (somebody)?

  140. Maru’s website says that he recently went to the vet for vaccinations, and he weighs 5.5 kg (12 pounds) and is very healthy.

  141. O NO He/ She/ It DI-unt!!! says:

    “Once upon a time” …

    at the last place I lived, there were no pets allowed at all in the building. A lovely female kitty began to reside near the building. She was basically feral and very frightened of all humans when I began to get to know her. I’m quite convinced that some jerk human had been abusing her previously …ANYhoo …as frequent readers here might imagine, I was able to convince her that there are a few humans who wish to provide better lives for kittehs and rather tamed her somewhat. Eventually I named her Reesie (partly for Reese Witherspoon, whose personality was similar to the kitty’s). Part of the property at the back of the apt building includes a deck, on very tall stilts in some swampy area beside a creek.
    Originally Reesie was basically a skeleton with fur (other people said it seemed she was nearly starved at that point). Eventually I got her all plump & sassy.

    Awhile later, evidently some Tomcat found that attractive, ‘cuz then she became
    “in the family way” ….. But after a certain point in her pregnancy, when something startling and noisy happened outside, she found it
    *highly unacceptable* when she suddenly discovered that she could no longer quickly squeeze between two of the verticals in the deck/ fence to zip over to a hiding place …

  142. Never change, Maru. Never, ever change.

  143. Rolling On (the) Floor Laughing My Ass Off

  144. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    (In Virtual Japonais): Ah-so deska!!! :)

    TVM

    (Thanks Very Much).

    I had assumed MUCH WORSE, about
    the F-word

  145. If we can arrange some sort of split-time custody agreement, I will accompany you and provide face masks and witty banter.

  146. emmberrann says:

    @QoD: my deep sympathies, ya gots to love them while they’re here… I will always miss Picky, just like Sam will leave a hole in your heart. But he couldn’t have a better kitteh-mom or a better life…

  147. Lewis n' Clark says:

    you gave the wrong address…the Cat Hacienda is in San Francisco, CA….:)

  148. My cat watches all of Maru’s videos. She doesn’t give a crap about anything else.

  149. i can’t be the only one who has wondered this, but i’ve yet to see a video of it, and the kitty litter commercial didn’t show it…

    how do you suppose maru acts in *his box*, you know, his “cat box”? do you suppose there’s a reason his owner hasn’t posted a video of that? did i miss that video?

  150. XD

    Thankies.

  151. Too funny!

  152. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    a friend of mine had a cat once whose Ofishe Name was “Purrty”! :)

  153. okay that’s a cool cat. Waaaaayy to cool of a personality!

  154. Borringgggg! ;)

  155. Well, at least he’ll fit >/i> into Texas.

  156. ooops, that was ‘sposed to be ” fit into Texas”.

    (Don’t try HTML when you’re dead tired.)

  157. Nooooooo… I’m so sorry. The next few months will be most precious to you. Extra hugs to you and SamKitty.

  158. So… what came next?? We want further details! (Purdy please.)

    Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Reesie and Tomcat!

  159. Aunt Kitty Kittenplace says:

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Okay, that first line was my cat’s comment. Maybe some kind of comment on Maru’s size. My person comment is–I laughed out loud SO HARD. Gosh, that was the best. Best part nomination was Maru actually making it into the slim box (then falling out! Maru, I love you so. And I have cat owner guilt about it, because I love my 17 year old girl kitties, but you are my secret (or not so secret crush). I love you heart and soul. With every video I love you more.

  160. I’d pay good money to see a cat pulling all of the tissues out of a tissue box and then climb in. Just say’in. I spend a lot of time alone these days.

  161. I concur, Professor Theresa. Are you not just a little concerned that it will be called “piss-faced” by our colleagues? May I please join?

  162. Of course he is annoyed- he is Maru!

  163. It won’t play for me. Alas, I may have to watch Animal Planet , sigh,……

  164. And just how small is Cat Hacienda, please?

  165. Website?

  166. I suspect she may rehearse first! I mean, see what Maru will do, then do it again with the camera on because by then she can control her own giggles.

  167. Michelle S. says:

    Hi…I seen Maru on TV the other day!!!!!! It was on a show on Animal Planet, I think. It was America’s Funniest (or cutest) animals. TOO COOL! Thanks for sharing!!

  168. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

  169. Ah! It did it for me! Carry on!

    (I think I need exclamation-hab…..)

  170. I just watched Maru on Animal Planet’s “America’s Cutest Cat”. He had two videos submitted. Unfortunately, Maru didn’t win the overall prize, but he won first in his category.

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