Know Your Obscure Norse Goddesses!

Very little is written about the warrior princess SkëlärthGrøønt, who took the form of an alpaca sharing a head with a soccer mom from Keosaqua, Iowa. One ancient text refers to a similar creature intervening in battle to confound the invading Visigoths with a series of increasingly complex riddles involving buttered toast.

(AP Photo/Kerstin Joensson)

63 comments … read them below or add one

  1. Alpaca huffing! a deadly scourge.

  2. Berg says:

    One of the funniest photos and story lines ever. I rate it an 11!

    I think we humans would look better with stand up ears.

  3. Ayeesha says:

    That’s hilarious, lol.

  4. Redscylla says:

    *dais laffingk*

    And I so hope the entrance exam to Valhalla doesn’t involve buttered toast word problems…

  5. Casey says:

    LOLZ.

    I agree about the ears.

    And oh, Valhalla.

    Makes me miss Xena…

  6. Hon Glad says:

    A loony from Tatoonie.

  7. Hon Glad says:

    Oh and the answer is 2.2 square mm to the power of splud.

  8. January says:

    Cute for Halloween.

  9. Winston says:

    hilariously creepy

  10. *stands up, teary eyed* My name..is inktellectual, & I…I’m an alpaca huffer. I haven’t sunk to the level of the actual animal, but…I get a skein whenever I can. If huffing alpaca is wrong, I don’t wanna be right, lol! Soft, silky a little oily. Lof eeeet!

  11. Kar says:

    That creature’s probably sniffing her coat to see if it’s her fleece.

  12. 260Oakley says:

    Face-on and the Golden Fleece

  13. occula says:

    I love how its big ol’ toes look like little cat feet there, too.

    You KNOW she’s giving it a big kiss on the back of the head – and it’s not ducking away as though the kiss is a caustic toxin, like my cat does. hee.

  14. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    ….but wait!!

    What’s the NAME of the soccer kid????
    And what’s the word for a young alpaca? do we call THEM “kids”???

  15. brinnann says:

    Looks more like Bottom’s transformation in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

  16. 260Oakley says:

    Psst…O No
    A baby alpaca is a cria.

  17. Fern says:

    NTMTOM, you got me again! I wish they could package your essence in a pill. There would be peace on earth and laughter everywhere.

    @Berg, I think stand-up ears would definitely improve the human race. Actually, I’m a little miffed at The Powers That Be because I can’t purr and I don’t have one of those magnificent kitty tails. I love the thought of lashing it when angry and curling it daintily when I’m pleased.

    @Inktellectual, thank you for sharing. I know that others hearing your story will be able to relate. LOL!!!

  18. Jim says:

    A skëlärthgrøønt once bit my sister.

  19. Rachael says:

    My looks could only be improved by such a transformation. I want a floofy face!

  20. brinnann says:

    I feel your pain Jim. A skëlärthgrøønt bit my boyfriend’s third cousin’s aunt’s stepsister. :shock:

  21. HON GLAD… You are Full of WIN!

  22. brinnann says:

    *sincerely hopes Jim was being facetious*

  23. MamaLana says:

    Adorable face and creature!

  24. brinnann says:

    O hai, KA! Funny meeting you here. ;)

  25. Theresa says:

    NTMTOM, I am speechless!

  26. Kathy says:

    Warrior princess . . . Visigoths . . . buttered toast? Reads like a bad dream after eating too many spicy nachos right before bed.

  27. Theresa says:

  28. fish eye no miko says:

    Weirdest. Conjoined twins. Ever.

  29. Theresa says:

    @Kathy, no, I think it must be Swedish meatballs. Or more likely, lutefisk.

    @NTMTOM, extra awesome points for all the umlauts and the Øs!

  30. daisyj says:

    Well, Jim, if she hadn’t been carving her initials on it with her interspace toothbrush that never would have happened, would it?

  31. victoreia says:

    Ah, Xena. Greatest role model for girls evar! (Even insecure thirty-mumbles.)

    Regarding the stand-up ears: you can get them at your nearest Star Trek convention. :P

  32. Dave says:

    We apologise for the fault in the comments. Those responsible have been sacked.

  33. Theresa says:

    “The directors of the firm hired to continue the comments after the other
    people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been
    sacked.”

    Oooh, MPFC geeks in the house, but we knew that. :mrgreen:

  34. Shygrrl74 says:

    Adorbs, well shot pic.! Clevah to the max!

    Rachel: Me. too. and if possible whiskers…

    et al: MP FTW infinity!

  35. Susanova says:

    I’m oddly frightened, yet exhilarated. Frightened because the head transplant appears to have worked. Exhilharated because I just read a sentence that contained “Visigoths” and “buttered toast.”

  36. Susanova says:

    Oh, and what about a tag “disembodied head” and it could be used for the Lab Head on Plate from yesterday, also.

  37. Gigi says:

    Oy! I have such a kink in the neck!

  38. bargles says:

    Hehehe… NTMTOM, you rock so much!

  39. Hah! What a great picture!

  40. Sal says:

    NTMTOM where would we all be without you? You make me laugh out loud! The world is definitely a better place with you in it!

  41. @ Brinnann!
    HEhehehehe!

    Lomg Time no See! :D

  42. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    1) @ 260: thank you for the bambino/ bambina vocabularificness!!!
    You are indeed a fount of wordsmithing wonderfulness and a marvelous thesaurus, in the bargain!!! Woot for English Composition Fans!!!

    2) looooooooooooooooooooooooooove all the MP bits about people who were sacked, having been sacked.

    (*delighted snerk*)

  43. fatgrammafinn says:

    can the butter on the toast
    be in the shape of a blorp ghost?

    a norwegian friend says his ancestors only went out pillaging and marauding towards the end of winter… the larders were kind of empty, and the menfolk invented all kinds of excuses to be away from home once the wives dragged out the lutefisk.

  44. SoCalSis says:

    I’m confused… Who’s doing the sacking here, Visigoths? Are the MPs here to police the marauders? What I really want to know is, who did the alpaca choreography?

  45. Nikki says:

    NTMTOM you deserve a parade, or failing that, at least someone should be following you around with a confetti and glitter cannon to celebrate your very existence.

  46. chanpon says:

    Good lord, the doctor never gave me a warning about these side effects from the botox injection..!

  47. fatgrammafinn says:

    now i’ve got that stupid little tune running through my head.. “yggdrasil and ragnarok doodah doodah, yggdrasil and ragnarok, all de doodah day”. anybody have the antidote?

  48. Dash says:

    “Skëlärthgrøønt,” NTMTOM? Are you sure that is not some obscure IKEA table lamp or a Tina Nordström recipe for herring that has been buried in a large earthen jar beneath the permafrost and disinterred after some months?

    • Sharpy says:

      @Dash

      >>Tina Nordström recipe for herring that has been buried in a large earthen jar beneath the permafrost and disinterred after some months?

      yummmmm… sounds like an addition to the new “The Girl Who Starved to Death–The Quick Weight Loss Diet For Non-Swedish Palates” cookbook.

      “disinterred” – LOL!

  49. entropy's bitch says:

    Como se llama?

  50. PrincessFiona says:

    Man: (but in Spanish with subtitles in English) The llama is a quadruped which lives in the big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming.
    Guitarist & Dancer: Llamas are larger than frogs.
    Man: Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout…
    Guitarist & Dancer: Look out, there are llamas!

  51. N. Fritz says:

    That’s Keosa_u_qua, NTMTOM — my second hometown!

  52. feathersfluff says:

    That face! Happy to have another’s snorgling in it’s neck…lovely and adorable. I’m hankering after a bit of that myself, now, darn it. Geez, thanks a lot…

  53. Kallisto says:

    Nomtom, that was one of the best the posts ever. Visigoths and buttered toast and that frightful warrior princess SkëlärthGrøønt in one post. This early European time!
    Not many scholars could pull that one off.

    And yes, she is pretty obscure, but I’m positive that there are still scrolls to be found that will enlighten us more about her other doings.

  54. mamabear says:

    Great shot Mr or Ms photographer. Apparently there’s a story too? Bettuh go read it.

  55. This is both disturbing and adorable. Luv!

  56. Sweeda88 says:

    At first I was like, “huh”? And then I lol’d. xD

  57. Bada says:

    Strangest pic I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
    And cute.

  58. Arv9y says:

    I need to know the size of the bread toasted and whether it is stick or soft butter. Too many variables in this question; my brain eggs are scrambled. (But delisch with toast!)

  59. andrea says:

    *AHEM*
    cue joe raposo
    Me and my llama(head)
    Me and my llama(head)
    I’m gonna put’cher face in front of mine
    Me and my llama(head)
    Me and my llama(head)
    I’m gonna put’cher face in front of mine

    Okay – I’m sorry for that…
    BUT STILL!
    *shuffles away humming…me and my llama….*
    (even softer still…I had a t-shirt made)

  60. Phyllis says:

    A baby alpaca is called a “cria.” We’ve been raising alpacas for 7 years. To Inktellectual, alpaca fleece is not oily like sheep fleece is. That’s one of it’s good qualities…people who are allergic to wool will not be allergic to alpaca. This is an adorable photo for sure.