This Week, on “The Bees”

In this episode, Colin and Dave gather pollen, Jennifer rebuffs Peter’s clumsy advances, Greg and Michael gather pollen, Sarah’s wig receives some harsh criticism, and Victor, Ian, Nancy, Bryce, Nicholas, Danny, Shaun, Ed, Liz, David, Dianne, Pete, John, Paul, George, Ringo, Margaret, and Tony gather pollen.

Sender-innered by Natx.

Comments

  1. Bees are from Liverpool? 8O

  2. PS: In honor of Theo, bleen!

  3. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: Or Bee Gees. (Holds lit lighter in air. waves it to and fro…ahhhhh. good times)

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was hilarious!!

  5. cute, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that all of those honeybees are girls. only girl bees collect pollen/nectar (the drones are big, fat, cute, and useless).

  6. Heeeee heeeee!! Beeeeeeezzzzzzzzz!

    Haha Q of D !! perfect video!

  7. I thought it was Beetles that were from Liverpool. :mrgreen:

  8. The video didn’t make me laugh, but Theresa’s comment made up for it.

  9. Queen of Dork says:

    Hi all

    Here’s a cool Beatles vid. Love them! Who could ever match them?

  10. I hear Hitchcock directed a particularly sexy episode called “The Birds and the Bees”.
    Guest star that week: Sting.

  11. The Mod Squad got me. Sigh. Must be a sting operation.

  12. Queen of Dork says:

    One more:

  13. I’d watch it. Better than anything else on tv.

  14. Did anyone else catch the credits, where Jennifer played herself? Poor Peter just doesn’t stand a chance…

  15. I hear the next episode has a surprise guest star… Eric the Half A Bee!

    A one… two– A one… two… three… four…
    Half a bee, philosophically,
    Must, ipso facto, half not be.
    But half the bee has got to be
    Vis a vis, its entity. D’you see?

    But can a bee be said to be
    Or not to be an entire bee
    When half the bee is not a bee
    Due to some ancient injury?

    Singing…

    La dee dee, one two three,
    Eric the half a bee.
    A B C D E F G,
    Eric the half a bee.

    Is this wretched demi-bee,
    Half-asleep upon my knee,
    Some freak from a menagerie?
    No! It’s Eric the half a bee!

    Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
    Eric the half a bee.
    Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
    Eric the half a bee.

    I love this hive, employee-ee,
    Bisected accidentally,
    One summer afternoon by me,
    I love him carnally.

    He loves him carnally,
    Semi-carnally.
    The end.

    Cyril Connelly?
    No; semi-carnally!
    Oh.

    Cyril Connelly.
    [whistling]

  16. the bug man says:

    Actually, when male bees are unlucky in love in real life, their fate is far more grim. The males who fail to catch and mate with a new queen during her nuptial flight return to the hive, where they are tolerated by their sisters for a while. However, the female workers become increasingly aggressive toward the drones, until, one day, they lash out in a spasm of mass aggression, either killing their brothers outright or casting the maimed drones from the hive to die in the cold.

    Of course, if a drone *does* manage to catch the queen and mate with her, he ejaculates with such force that it ruptures his body, making a “pop” that is audible from some distance. The exploded male then falls to the ground and hemorrhages to death.

    Stuff like this rarely happens in soap operas. Though they’d be much more interesting if it did.

    Oh, P.S.: Did I mention that new queens frequently mate with their own brothers?

  17. Bug man: and I thought “I, Claudius” was over the top….

  18. Stay tuned for scenes from next week’s stingingly exciting episode of “The Bees”, featuring special guest star, Eric The Half A Bee!

  19. Thanks shandog and bug man!! I get so tired of telling people “they’re all female!”

  20. @the bug man, you should write a Bug Opera. :mrgreen:

  21. Wait! But what about the accident? Curse those daytime dramas and their constant cliff-hangers.

  22. Martha in Washington says:

    If only American telly was this good!

    I feel sorry for Peter. I hope things work out for him.

  23. funniest post ever.

    look at those names, of course bees are british!!

  24. poor peter! i hope things work out with him and jennifer.

    lol

  25. @chanpon

    >>Wait! But what about the accident? Curse those daytime dramas and their constant cliff-hangers.

    i’m wondering when they’re going to spring the good twin/bad twin/good twin/bad twin/good twin/bad twin story line.

  26. @260Oakley

    >>The Mod Squad got me. Sigh. Must be a sting operation.

    sorry, honey.

  27. @the bug man: O.O;;

  28. @Sharpy, or an accident that leads to plastic surgery that completely alters someone’s appearance.

    Or AMNESIA. Must have amnesia. :mrgreen:

  29. Ah, OK, the bigger, fuzzy ones are the kind I am used to seeing around. I thought the difference between bees and wasps is that bees are fuzzy. And cute. And not aggressive.

  30. @Mandy, there are a whole bunch of different kinds of bees, some laid-back, a few aggressive. Same goes for wasps. The thing about wasps is that they build nests in and around people’s houses, and they’re touchy about people going near them. 8O But I don’t think either of them actually go around looking for people to sting.

  31. Queen of Dork says:

    Here’s a way to keep wasps from nesting in your yard: Take a small, brown paper bag and stuff it with stuff and hang it somewhere like the eaves of your house or your fence. The wasps will think it’s a hive and since they’re territorial, they’ll go elsewhere. I read this somewhere and tried it and it seems to work quite nicely.

  32. Well I’ll bee damnedI hope the next episode will bee soon.
    Will Peter overcome Jennifers reluctance, will Colin reveal his forbidden love for Dave and will Sarah get a new wig. All this and more in the next episode.

  33. @QoD: “Stuff it with stuff”? ROFL!

  34. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: As I was saying that I thought it sounded odd but, well…..? :)

  35. LOL Thug Bumble bees HEheheheheh!

    And Poor Peter.. will he ever find a true love…

  36. @QoD, I love it. :D

  37. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: Well, I think it’s things like that + my chronic nerdiness that caused my daughter to give me the name The Queen of Dork. *sighs. (happily)* Okay. No more off subject discussion from me…I promise!

    Bees are really pretty but CRAP

  38. Queen of Dork says:

    …oops. hit the enter button too soon. I meant to say, it really hurts when they sting! :) Ouch!

  39. Queenie – I stroked a Bumble Bee once , it was soft. I don’t know if bumbles have a sting or not but I wasn’t stung.

  40. Queen of Dork says:

    Hi Hon Glad: I don’t think bumble-bees sting but I’m not sure. They ARE very pretty and I’m not surprised to hear that they’re soft. Here in the Mojave, there are huge, black bumbles that don’t bother anybody but there are also these little, yellow bees which are Africanized and can really be mean. *shudders*

  41. onionpencil says:

    hon- they can sting but are not aggressive, at least away from their nests. you can stroke them very gently, if they are busy or sleepy they don’t seem to mind too much. however if you do manage to get stung, don’t yell at me ;)

  42. warrior rabbit says:

    Is there a difference between a wasp and a hornet and what we always referred to as yellowjackets, or is it like the difference between a crayfish and a crawfish (i.e., none)?

    I’ve made it this far and still never been stung by anything (other than a red ant, and that hurt), and I think it may be because whatever the flying stinging insect is, I give it a wide berth and try not to delve too far into its entomological taxonomy.

  43. MoonCatty: OMG.

  44. fatgrammafinn says:

    this show is WAY too busy to watch on a Sunday. i’ll save it to get motivated tomorrow.

    up in WA the bumbles come out early in the spring. they look like black fuzzy ping pong balls doing their bee thing about 6 inches off the ground… too big to get any more altitude than that. or not. plus they overwinter in piles of grass clippings- they stay nice and warm, and if you tear the pile apart you can see their tunnels. was stung by a bumbler once, it didn’t hurt but boy did my arm ever swell up.

    i will definitely try the paper bag trick next year. my neighborhood seems to be yellowjacket central.

  45. Blimey – with those accents, I think they sound more like W.A.S.P.s!

  46. Queen of Dork says:

    warrior rabbit: Wow! You’re fortunate to not have been stung. When I was a kid, I was outside as much as I could be and seemed to be a magnet for bees. Good thing I’m not allergic as I’ve heard that can get pretty nasty.

  47. warrior rabbit says:

    @QoD: I was outside all the time, too. My brother got stung, but I didn’t. (I also still have tonsils and wisdom teeth. These seem to be rites of passage I skipped.) The only downside is i don’t know if I’m allergic. My mom got stung while we were in Mexico once and boy did she swell up. We ended up going to the ER. Don’t know if she is allergic or just had a bad reaction or if Mexican bees are more potent (it was just in Tecate, not 30 miles from where we lived), but it makes me wonder if I’m possibly allergic.

  48. warrior rabbit says:

    Also, lol at Walking E!

  49. Queen of Dork says:

    warrior rabbit: Gosh, I don’t know. It does sound like your mom had an allergic reaction. I’m glad you’ve never been stung and hope you don’t cause it hurts like the dickens. I also have managed to hang on to my tonsils, wisdom teeth, and appendics (sp?) I was just out in my backyard clipping some really tall…ummm…. stuff and grass and who knows what all, and wasps came flying out of there and I was saying to myself, Stef, if you have to…get ready to….RUN!

  50. Queen of Dork says:

    P.S. I hadn’t put up the stuffed paper bag all summer. But believe me, after that experience, it’s up there now!

  51. Queen of Dork says:

    Why the heck is THAT awaiting moderation? Sharpy?! Help!!!

  52. The only time I have been stung was my own fault, I grabbed a handfull of grass not realising it had a bee on it. I was walking round a reservoir and I think the blood pumping round meant the sting didn’t last long.

  53. fatgrammafinn says:

    what we call yellow jackets up here are actually bald face hornets. big and aggressive and hurts like heck. about an inch and a half long and weigh about 3 grams(raisins). they make their nests out of “paper” like wasp-waisted wasps. i walked into a red wasp nest once that was flat as a pancake but about 10″ across, got several stings but didn’t even notice. when we moved into our house in 1992, there was a mature rhododendron out front, 7 feet tall and about 15 ft in circumference. the entire interior was one big hornets nest. probably 100,000 hornets inside plus larva and the queen. we blasted it with bug bombs and a pressure washer after dark. the detritus filled up two 30 gallon garbage cans. i shudder just to think of it. my number one fear is getting a bee in the car while i’m driving on the freeway. no where to pull over, exit vehicle and start screeching. a high school boyfriend was motorbiking on the freeway and a bee got in his helmet. not a nice guy as it turns out, so must have been karma at work.

    luv you all *MWAH* go pittsburgh, er, i mean, seahawks. yeah, seahawks.

  54. BEE UU TI FUL!!

  55. I so bedazzled by this. I wonder if they will turn it into a B movie?

  56. @QoD

    >>Why the heck is THAT awaiting moderation? Sharpy?! Help!!!

    sorry! this time i think i can actually figure out what got you put modergatory! “stuffed!”

    i nearly ALWAYS approve you and a few other commenters without even reading your posts; just so you know ;)

  57. For those interested

    A hornet in North America is this fellow
    European Hornet

    Picture and information at that site.

  58. Brooklnfemale says:

    But what about Naomi?

    (And Rita, Lee, Hattie, Judy, June, Irene, Melanie, Denise, Bayn, Réjane and Janina? Not to mention Morgan and Skip?)

  59. BTW @ QoD as always your stories make me smile!

  60. Queen of Dork says:

    Thanks for unmoderating us, Sharpy! That must keep you really busy. I know it doesn’t work this way, but I always picture you running around this huge room, throwing switches and turning things on and off. In Prada shoes of course.

  61. It reminds me of BBC’s Walk of the Wild Side, and they just started its season/series 2!

  62. This was wonderful! And all the comments, especially from bugman, are terrific. FABULOUS!

  63. LisaHoneychan says:

    I’ve watched this vid 5 times, and it get funnier each time! Poor, poor little Peter, maybe Jennifer will give you more than 3 seconds of her time soon. A girl’s gotta work, yanno? I just loove his “ohh god, i’m such an idiot!” moanings after she flies off!

    The bee singing “Addicted To Love”?? AWESOMME! Even better is his accented “Whatever!” he tells Mr Stuffy Older Bee.

    I need to find out what happens next episode!

  64. the bug man says:

    For those of you discussing the relative pain of various stings, you’ll (perhaps) be glad to hear that someone’s already done a rather exhaustive study on the subject. Justin O. Schmidt is the originator of the Schmidt Pain Scale, which ranks insect stings on a four-point scale. Here are some highlights:

    # 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
    # 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
    # 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
    # 2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
    # 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
    # 2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
    # 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
    # 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
    # 4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
    # 4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.

    Enjoy! (Or, more sensibly, allow Justin O. Schmidt to “enjoy” this stuff for you.)

  65. “This video is blocked in your country due to copyright”.

    “hurray”

  66. :lol: Thanks, Bug Man, for the pain scale. Very descriptive.

  67. Sounds like everyone enjoyed it. Wish I could see it, but it’s blocked, dang it.

  68. @QoD

    *GASP* you can SEE ME?!

    (pssst…. try emailing me if you (and the other “regulars” have a particularly urgent demoderation request–my email is attached to one of those big springy arms with a boxing glove that hits a bell that awakes a unicorn which flies down a rainbow and lands in a pool which ripples up onto the shore where i live.)

  69. awakes a unicorn which flies down a rainbow and lands in a pool

  70. @the bug man

    if you read this through entirely, you deserve a few minutes of relief.

  71. @bug man: Is Justin O. Schmidt describing bee stings? Or fine wine?

    (And I’d like to know how he knows what it feels like to fire-walk over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in his heel, anyway…)
    :mrgreen:

  72. O NO He/She/It DI-unt!!! says:

    @ Auntie: while I might like to know that, I wouldn’t like to know actually
    “how it FEELS to [etc]” (wide-eyed emoticon)

  73. This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

    ……….I’m starting to dislike Youtube more and more. 8|

  74. Justin O. Schmidt, my hero of science! He almost makes me want to get stung by a bald-faced hornet. (Does he have any plans to move on to mammals? I’d love to know what he says about getting bitten by a hedgehog.)

  75. Luckluster: It is not just YouTube. Use http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1bb560ff2f/the-bees

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