From the monthly archives: August 2010

Is… Is That All There Is?

August 9, 2010 By

For years it mocked me. Trailing behind like a doppelganger, close enough to coax my anger, far enough to evade my grasp. There was no stratagem it could not anticipate, no attack it could not escape. It was as if it could read my very thoughts.

And my nights were filled with savage dreams of vengeance; brutal, surreal retribution for the crimes of this interloper. As grand inquisitor, I imagined I heard its pleas for mercy, but none I offered, and its cries of torment perfumed my soul.

And now, at last at the end, I am empty, disenchanted. The thing is done, yet the horizon ahead lies barren and joyless. What a fool I’d been. What a damnable fool.

If that’s all there is, Chris G., ♪ then let’s keep daaaaan-cing… ♪

170 comments

THIS JUST IN: Blorpy Friend Request

August 9, 2010 By

Here’s a friend request we know you’ll like: A weeks-old baby pygmy hippo born at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo. The youngster’s name is Kambiri, a Nigerian name meaning “allow me to join this family.” Well, we’re clicking “yes,” that’s for sure.

35 comments

Uh-Oh, I Think I’m on the Wrong Bus

August 9, 2010 By

I thought this tortoise was heading downtown! Dang, now I’m gonna be late!

This looks like the return of Bizorro, Annie M.!

73 comments

Take it from the top. Again.

August 7, 2010 By

Girls, you are NEVER going to make the Cheerios with this routine!!!

FROM THE TOP!

Sue Sylvester will be disgusted, Ed P.

75 comments

everyone… just… back… away… slowly…

August 7, 2010 By

He’s been fed, so he most likely won’t randomly attack. Then again, this one’s completely unpredictable; so please proceed with caution because “Jakey” La Motta‘s a real beast.

I hope you have body armor, Daniel S.

38 comments

Oh yeah, the neighbors must love this.

August 7, 2010 By

Bok-bok…Woof….

63 comments

Annoying, He Is It

August 6, 2010 By

Ladies, wouldn’t you like to live in an opulent mansion full of poker-playing pooches and itty-bitty giraffes? Well, if you think you can handle the occasional TV night with Boris Jerkinov here, we’ll put your name on the waiting list.

Sent in by new moderator Shirpy… no, Sharpei… erm, Slurpee? Ah, heck with it.

193 comments

Welcome to Chinchy Burger!

August 6, 2010 By

May I interest you in the 3/4-pound Super Chinchy today? Or perhaps the Chinchy Combo: A Chinchy with Cheese, Chinchy Fries and Chincher Ale? Or would you prefer the Roast Belgian Pheasant with Beurre Blanc Sauce, served with baby asparagus in a Cognac reduction, rice pilaf and a 32-ounce Chinchy-Cola?

Update: GMTA, Lizzy (who also spotted this)!

55 comments

“Let’s welcooooome bachelor number one!”

August 6, 2010 By

Hi, my name is Skittles and I like dining on crustaceans by candlelight, being clingy, and unicorns.

This little guy is one of eleven potentially new species found after a deep-sea expedition off Canada’s Atlantic coast. To read more, head to National Geographic. And as always, thanks to Marilyn T. for sending us these gems.

62 comments

Set Phasers on “Whuh?”

August 6, 2010 By

Captain’s Log, Stardate 5291.3: On a distress call at Snorgulon-5, we arrive only to find no one to greet us. Most… peculiar. No… citiesNo… buildingsNo… source of the distress signal. I… fear… we… may be walkingintoatrap. And yet, except for a lone Redonkulan Flozz-Poodle, we find no sign of life at all.

Live long and prosher, Mischa M.

100 comments

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