Mutiny on the HMS Beagle

Let’s be clear: I’m the captain of this vessel, and what I say, goes! If you agree to this term, then by all means feed me a piece of bacon, climb aboard, and…prepare yourself for the most exhaustively relaxing sail of your life.

My God, that floating gull is coming dangerously close! Collision imminent! Reel in the jib and prepare to come about!

I asked you to pull in the jib, passenger! Perhaps you’re aren’t fluid in “I’m-Smarter-Than-You-And-You-Will-Do-What-I-Say”?

Fine. Discard my ingenious system of levers and pulleys and revert to your rudimentary paddle, you smug imbecile! But know this: I shall revert as well, and you will soon find yourself settled among many, many “accidents”.

Oscar was a winner, Leanne D.

Comments

  1. victoreia says:

    Love the “Princess Bride” riff on that last hovertext, Prongs!

  2. Men of Cute Overload alert! Calendar candidate ahoy!

  3. mikeyfur says:

    Lucky little Beagle Boy to have such a good owner who is loves him so much that he has a life jacket AND a rope to pull him back in if he goes overboard. So cute!

  4. That dog does not seem to be having fun! Cute though

  5. Either he has loving hoomins or the vest makes him float like a bobber and the rope is used like a fishing line to pull in the whale that swallows him whole.

    I’m going to go with loving, doting owners.

  6. Captain:
    I am the Captain of the Pinafore!
    Chorus:
    And a right good captain, too!
    Captain:
    You’re very, very good,
    And be it understood,
    I command a right good crew.
    Chorus:
    We’re very, very good,
    And be it understood,
    He commands a right good crew.
    Captain:
    Though related to a peer,
    I can hand, reef, and steer,
    And ship a selvagee;
    I am never known to quail
    At the fury of a gale,
    And I’m never, never sick at sea!
    Chorus:
    What, never?
    Captain:
    No, never!
    Chorus:
    What, never?
    Captain:
    Hardly ever!
    Chorus:
    He’s hardly ever sick at sea!
    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
    For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
    For the Captain of the Pinafore!

  7. 260Oakley says:

    Hmm, looks more like Fetcher Christian from “Mutiny on the Houndy.”

  8. The Simpsons have totally ruined Gibert & Sullivan for me.

  9. “Fluent in,” please, not “fluid.”

  10. The best part? “Oscar” is a nautical reference to the “Man Overboard” condition!

  11. skippymom says:

    I own a dog life jacket, never worn. I bought it years ago at a boat show, just in case I ever had a dog in the future. (It was a good price!) The guy who was selling them asked me how much my dog weighed, and I said that I wasn’t sure but “He’s pretty big”. It has lived on closet shelves, in its original wrapping, in four different homes now. Not as fancy as this one, though–love the mesh on the front!

  12. Life is pain, Beagle.

  13. More pictures of the owner, please

  14. earlybird1 says:

    YAYYY, a Beagle! More Beagles please!!

  15. earlybird1 says:

    and major props to the handsome young man for outfitting said Beagle in such a winning life vest and safety rope. Adorabuhls AND safe. FTW!!

  16. Hey! So there’s a Radio stations in Philly doing the “Hot Dogs of Summer” contest. If you submit a pic of your pooch you could win a $1000 prize pack to pamper YOU and your DOG!
    sounds pretty legit to me =)
    http://my1061.com/pages/contests/hot-dogs.html

  17. domanato says:

    @Theresa lol at the poem. If you think Beagle looks pomp and circumstance check out those dogs as they catch their treats in slow motion: http://www.shortform.tv/w/cute/pedigree-dogs-ad-shot-1000-fps-using-the-phantom-camera

  18. lurkingsmirk says:

    @skippymom: go get yourself a large dog with which to fill that life vest, stat!

  19. Hon Glad says:

    Avast there you land lubber, I ask for a good coating of tar, on this here ship, you seemed to have lined it with brown paper, ye mutinous barnacle. I’ll keel haul ye, and feed thy sen to the sharks, so help me if I don’t.

  20. Watch out for the Shrieking Eels, Beagle!!

  21. I think doggy would rather sail on a schooner, preferably with two or more masts ;-)

  22. I concur: More beagles! I’m glad that this one is so well cared for.

  23. victoreia says:

    He’s probably just some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise. At night. Through eel-infested waters.

  24. fatgrammafinn says:

    ahoy! another furby dude…yay!

  25. Is there something hardwired into Beagles’ brains that makes them always want to rest their chin on something? My little girl does that all the time, normally on my thigh when she wants to be petted.
    I agree with the others, too. More Beagles, please!

  26. fatgrammafinn says:

    oh, and in case someone tries to make the hovertext writer (and deadliest catch fan) feel bad re:photo one, i have it on good authority that cap’n phil is laughing his lips off in boat heaven

  27. My parents used to have a Newfoundland that they would take on the boat back and forth to their island residence. One day it “fell off” and resisted all rescue attempts.

  28. Koalabearkiki says:

    The beagle is cute and he should be able to man the ship. Dogs just don’t get enough credit. Now if you saw a cat on there it would be in charge for sure!

    L8r

  29. Shannon says:

    Adorable beagles, bunnies and a chubby rat! CO is LIVING UP TO IT’S NAME TODAY PEOPLE!!!!!!! (just announcing to those who may have missed it!)

  30. MamaLana says:

    Cute!

  31. More cowbells, more beagles!

  32. Doggy and owner get an A+ for safety! Do beagles like to swim???!

  33. Mary (the first) says:

    I agree, CO Cute Men Calendar prospect ahoy! And Cute Beagle too!!

  34. DillPig says:

    Meaghan – what happened to the Newfoundland!??? Did he drown, or did he swim the rest of the way?

    (Adorabuhls beagle and chap combo; so good and heartwarming to see peeps keeping their beloved doglets safe and sound….)

  35. Cute dog AND cute guy! Aye aye, captain!

  36. That’s my Oscar!!!!
    Thanks cute overload :)

  37. BStrange says:

    That white apostrophe at the end of a beagle’s tail never fails to amuse me. The life vest and “ho-hum, so when’s science going to breed some crabbits for me to chase out here” attitude are great too, of course. Don’t try telling him they’re inconceivable. :D

    PS: Oscar’s also one of the very few guys I’ve ever seen look good in a fishnet shirt.

  38. Rapwnzel says:

    Yummy. Me likey the last pagey!

  39. AuntieMame says:

    DillPig, I imagine he was busy trying to pull the boat to safety. :D

  40. We love you Oscar!!!! Superdee duperdee CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!!!!!

  41. @domanato – it’s funny that you posted video from the Pedrigee dog commercial. Oscar (in the life jacket) was my pup, and the black russian terrier in the commercial was bred by my friend Anna :) it’s a small doggie world

  42. Hot guy & cute doggie!! Apart from “Caturday”, may I suggest a “Menday” as well?

  43. Ohmyhead, I love beagles!!!! My late uncle had two of them and I adored those girls so very much. Very cute!

  44. earlybird1 says:

    And now, a shy beagle puppy. For your viewing pleasures.
    http://puppybunnyguineapretty.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/beagle-puppy.jpg

  45. earlybird1 says:

    And finally, a baby beagle in a sweatew. Now I’m done.
    http://www.dailypets.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/sadie3.jpg

  46. StormCat says:

    @Earlybird1 – O…m…..g… I just sat here in my office, doing a rather loud squeeeeee at the pic of the shy Pup!!! You just know that pic will be going out to everyone I know, who likes doggies…

    I can’t believe no one has made a Moby Dick reference yet! (At least not that I’m aware of anyway…)

    And what a cutie!! I mean, the Pup’s cute too, but the guy is definetely a cutie, and what a considerate hoooman for putting the rope on his pooch!!

  47. Rachael says:

    I was actually doing just fine – in between squees and guffaws – until I clicked on earlybird1’s links. Now I am ded.

  48. Super Bunny says:

    The way that doggie’s hooked up looks like they’re going to use him as bait!

  49. I second cealus’ call for Menday :)
    What a good human that man is for putting lifejacket on the dog. A+++++

    Doggeh looks alert in case there are any water-skiing skwerrels on the water.

  50. dillpig, i agree… meaghan’s story was not clear at all. was she telling us about a dog drowning? because that’s awful.

    i am also nervous because it says that oscar “was” a winner. is oscar still with us??

  51. These beagles are adorable!

    Please vote for our CUTE dachshund pup Lucy in this contest! PLEASE?!?!

  52. Aw, such a cute doggy! But the owner…hubba hubba!

  53. Glen Burnie??? That’s here in Maryland!!
    What a cute beagle. Beagles are so adorable!

  54. Jenn in IL says:

    I, too, am concerned about Meaghan’s very unclear story. Newfie boy was okay, yes?

    I hope Oscar’s still with us…that face is just TOO sweet!

  55. YAY Oscar!!! @Leanne this is wonderful! 2 of your boys made it on CO :o)

  56. sadly, Oscar is gone.
    But don’t worry beagle fans – he had a very happy life and left an incredible legacy of cute behind him. Glad we can share it with you all!

  57. Thanks for the G&S, Theresa!

    Darwin would have gotten to the Galápagos a lot more efficiently if he’d had an actual Beagle on the Beagle!

  58. My childhood dog (a sweet Chocolate Lab) absolutely refused to get in the boat with us at the lake every summer. He’d sit on the shore, howling and trumpeting like Louis Armstrong until we came back.

  59. cafegrrl says:

    Adorable!

  60. Beagles always look sad or worried, even when they’re having fun. This one is adorable.

  61. marthava says:

    When ARE we going to have a Men of Cuteoverload calendar??? The people have spoken!!!

  62. Am I the only one who found those little pawprints at the bottom of the boat (last pic) just TOO cute?

    I must be on cute overload!

    –bossgripes.com

  63. I agree earlybird, but your avatar makes up for it. Cuteness always wins over crass.

  64. Submit a pic of your pooch and win a $1000 prize pack to pamper YOU and your DOG! http://tinyurl.com/22qxr7s

  65. I have a Labrador; this breed is a direct descendant of Newfoundlands;
    These are called “water dogs”, because they swim like fish; (they actually have webbed feet)……..I would wager that Meaghan’s Newfie reached shore before the family boat did……! :lol:
    (P.S. once we took one of our labs on a picnic near a wide lake; he jumped in the water and started swimming…..it looked like he wasn’t coming back; the only way we could get him to return was to grab his food dish and wave it in the air, yelling:
    “EAT!!! EAT!!!” He came back for dinner, reluctantly…. :roll:

  66. the dog is my cousin and the owner is my uncle

  67. @nathan – don’t forget about your aunt too :P

  68. @cheshirekittehkat – “EAT! EAT!” is a good (and funny) trick. smart human.

  69. fatgrammafinn says:

    @katy…oscar (meyer) is a winner (weiner)
    i diedid writing that

  70. sorry and the photographer is my aunt

  71. zeldapie says:

    Awww, this brings back memories of canoeing with my beagle and later my basset hound (Grushenka and Daphne). They LOVED canoeing on the lake!

  72. KittyMarthaPoo says:

    starla (post 4) Don’t worry, I am sure he IS having fun. Beagles sometimes have serious expressions on their face because…well, they’re BEAGLES! They have that hound-y expression.

    What a wonderful owner, a little doggy sized life jacket AND a rope!

    And yes, we need far more Beagle pictures..

    –proud Beagle owner :)

  73. KittyMarthaPoo is right – beagles can look serious doing the silliest things.
    that’s what makes them funny :D

  74. That dude is all crunchy granola cuteness and safety-awareness. His adorable pup has a groovy human.

    Doggie so knows that he is the true captain of that ship.

  75. cats,dogs gerbils,birds…all Gods creatures are so adoreable!!! please continue to show us more. we just love them. martha keep up the great work you are doing. thanks from Texas.

  76. HE IS PETER JACKSON!!!!!!!!!!!! xD

  77. what does one have to do to canoe with this boy?

  78. Beagles!! I agree with all the comments about more beagle pics. My Sawyer Doo is the best dog in the world and I have a sneaking suspicion he would get along swimmingly with this pup