The Story of the Hungry Feroshus Bear

By Jeffery Osterblaargh, Mrs. McNulty’s Sekond Grade

Ok so this is astory about the time that I ate a humin bean all by myself. Wun day I was hungry. And there was this humin bean walking down the street.

And so I desided to eat him for dinner. Because I am a feroshus pradider pridit eating bear and because everybody is skeerd of me because I am so mean.

The humin bean was skeerd. He tried to get away but I was to big and strong for him. He cried and cried for help, but I dint listen because I was so hungry.

And he was so delishus that next I ate a whole busload of first graders, and then I ate a kangaroo, and my piano teacher, and Batman, and some ice cream, and…

I hear that special school’s really nice, Maggie S.

Comments

  1. Awwwww soo cute!!!!!! I think I’d play with it and lightly nom it back ;D

  2. Hon Glad says:

    I havint got no teefs, so I gummed him to def.

  3. schnell says:

    If I were his teacher, I would give him an A+ for that story.

  4. Anne O'Nymise says:

    That has GOT to be the Bestest Storee Evarz since ‘DOOM: Repercussions of Evil’.
    I lol’d. ^_^

  5. Is that baby Knut? I still love him best of all the polar bears.

  6. WAY too cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Trabb's Boy says:

    This was hilarious, but I have to nuff at the credit line, NOMTOM, dear. Not cool to equate special needs kids and stupidity.

  8. I never thought I’d see bear attack photos on CO.

  9. doomchild says:

    The pikshurs I could’ve handled… but the pikshurs AND teh neerly curr- cro- well-spelleded text? No wai! *ded*

  10. Noodles says:

    I love reading these type of posts aloud… even if there isn’t anyone else but me to hear it. That completely normal behavior, right?

    Sometimes I stop to squee and then continue.

  11. LOL Bestest Storeee E-vaar! Especially the consum.. con… eating of the ice cream and all that thar stuff.

  12. Mel Drake says:

    *nom* *nom* Stop mooooving! *nom*

  13. Madame X says:

    TB, it’s a special school for pracio… precosh… very smart feroshus pradid… predonk… heck, eating bears.

  14. Who ARE you, preshus? 8O

  15. tracylee says:

    cutest bear attack I evah did see! Soooo vicious, ain’t he?

  16. Colonel Jenna says:

    *SNORK!* I don’t know which is the bestest, the pictures, the story, or the hovertext!

  17. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    I want him to bite ME!!! Then I will give him Gootchies!!

  18. 260Oakley says:

    Sometimes a glimpse of bear ankles can be quite shocking.

  19. Emmberrann says:

    @260Oakley: but heaven knows, anything goes!

  20. @260Oakley, what bearfaced cheek!

  21. I want one!!! Is it just me, or do polar bears look like the fluffiest animals ever?

  22. 260Oakley says:

    Hey, if two of these bears lived across the street from one another, would they be polar opposites?

    (I’ll stop now.)

  23. O NO he (she/it) DI-unt says:

    ok peeps, it’s Indulge Leslie’s Inner Storyteller Time:

    (ahem)
    This was (allegedly) (cough) a story one of me knucklehaid brudders made up for skool. Am presently unable to document source veracity. Here goes (ahem)

    “Acre-ham Lincoln wuz borned in a Log CabiNET which he built himself
    [now peeps, ya gotta think thru the anti-logic heah CAREFULLY]
    *because his Mother and Father were daid*.

    The End.
    Bruce Thomas
    ca. 1968 or so.

  24. O NO he (she/it) DI-unt says:

    PS: Bear-let = KYOOT

    New Rule?
    “Fuzzy-wuzziness + Fierceness = Cute”?????

  25. He’s bear-ly big enough to make a mouthful! ;)

  26. ScoutsMom says:

    260Oakley, Hey, if two of these bears lived across the street from one another, would they be polar opposites?

    Wouldn’t that also make them Neighbears?

  27. i would like him to sit at my desk and nom all of my clients who get out of line and yell at me. it would make being a social worker much easier.

    and then i would be able to squeeze him. i do so want to squeeze him.

  28. kibblenibble says:

    I like picture three the best, because you can see how tiny–er–ferocious he is when he stands up tall!

    PS If anyone can explain how to do that “crossing out of the words” thing, I’d be ever so grateful. :-)

  29. Is there anything cuter than a wee baby bear butt (photo #3)? I think not.

  30. I’d buy more toilet tissue if they had pictures of cute little polar bears on them instead of just kittens and puppies.

  31. Knut ist cute :-)

  32. Kathrein says:

    This is Knut, which I guess all of you know.

    The foot belongs to Thomas Dörflein, his keeper. He died two years ago.

  33. Soooooo cute!!!!!!!! Wish they stayed that cuddly size forever.

  34. If you’ve every been to the Coke Headquarters you know the corporate dislike of anything blue.

  35. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    ooooooooooooooooooooooooh 26o0: I think that you mighta met a Contendah in Scoutsmom……..

    Jus’ sayin’…….
    ;)

  36. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    ps extremely enjoyable chuckle, over the 2nd Tag.

    (the hovertexts are great, but I mean the Tags, UNDER the entire post)

  37. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    (holding hand in front of face)
    I KNOW that the gist of the story is the kid in skool who doesn’t have his words right, but ….hunGY feroshush??

    so sorry but the whole mental spellcheck is ingrained somewhere BELOW the DNA line in my blood.

    (ducking the rotten tomatoes)

  38. Substitute the bear with a Boston Terrier, and you have my dog greeting us when we get home from work. Bet the bear doesn’t bite as hard, though.

  39. fish eye no miko says:

    kibblenibble asked: “If anyone can explain how to do that “crossing out of the words” thing”

    You use “strike” (as in “strike through”). And you get this.

  40. Please… no lolspeak… I beg of you all!

  41. What story do you mean? That sequence was the story of my life!

    –bossgripes.com

  42. I agree with Eoz … I LOVE this site! It is too good for “lol-speak” or whatever the cheeseburgers use. I get that it’s part of this story line… but .. ugh!!!

  43. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Eoz: I wasn’t going for LOLspeak specifically, just channeling a typical second-grader. But we do try to be more versatile with language here, it’s true.

    And I didn’t mean to misspell “hungry” in the headline. How embarrassing; even my inner child can spell that word correctly. Thanks to O NO for the catch.

  44. Is dis Godliss killing macheen?

  45. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    @ NTM:

    thanks to YOU for not throwing rotten tomatoes at me, thinkin’ I was tryin’ to be a Knowitall!!!

    Signed,

    Leslie Has Left the bldg
    (for now :) )

    ..you may throw rotten tomatoes at will !!!

  46. Queen of Dork says:

    Really funny story and very cute little bear cub! But I want to try the whole striking out the word thing. Let’s see. “strike” will that work?

  47. Queen of Dork says:

    Guess not. :(

  48. kibblenibble says:

    fish eye no miko: Thank you for your kindly helpfulness, but I am right there with
    Q of D. (See above comments.) I still can’t figure out how to make that work. :-(

  49. Queen of Dork says:

    Haha kibblenibble! I’m glad I’m not the only one! :)

  50. Queen of Dork says:

    ¡ǝɥ-ǝɥ ¡sıɥʇ op oʇ ʍoɥ ʇno pǝɹnbıɟ ǝʌɐɥ ı ʇsɐǝן ʇɐ ˙ןןǝʍ

  51. Martha in Washington says:

    @O NO– why are people always firing things at poor Will? I have always felt so sorry for him.

  52. Omggg! You have to see our “Hot Dogs of Summer” picshttp://my1061.com/pages/contests/hot-dogs.html. So so so cute!

  53. QofD and Et all
    whatever word you want struck through
    (Minus the extra spaces I put in so you could see the actual html tag.)

    Gets you this banana

  54. Oops Even when I put it spaced out it covered it

    drats
    word

    hopefully it will show up this time

  55. victoreia says:

    @Martha: I’ve always wondered the same thing! And poor Will hardly ever does anything to provoke being fired upon!

    @QoD & kibblenibble: you need to enclose “strike” with the less than () brackets (the pointy ones) [in other words, you would replace the quotation marks in the following example with them thingies: "strike"like this"/strike" should look like this...] (hoping it reads the way I want it to)

  56. victoreia says:

    dang! that should read “less than and greater than brackets”…..

  57. [strike] what word you want and [/strike]

    only use the greater than and less than signs on each end of strike you know on the ., keys.

  58. Victoreia JINX like times Three
    LOL

  59. aw, he’s so feroshes furroshous ferochies hungry and mean! hilarious post!

    @ kibble & QoD —
    do like this, but take out the spaces inside the brackets: text

  60. @ kibble & QoD —
    gah! i thought the spaces would block html from working…
    didn’t mean to tease ya ;)

    put this before the part you want crossed out
    and put this after it
    except without the underscores
    and no line breaks in between

    *crosses fingers and hits “submit”*

  61. @kibble & QoD —
    i give up! now the tags are just being automatically deleted
    (or i’m typing in invisible ink… try holding your screen up to a light bulb)
    use the angled brackets — like these
    put one set of those brackets with the word “strike” (no quotes) before your text
    put another set of those brackets with “/strike” (no quotes, but the slash is important) after your text

    then turn around three times while saying your name backwards, cross your heart, and hit “submit.” don’t look in any mirrors.

  62. @kibble & QoD —
    i’ve not posted a word in, like, 3 months, and now i find myself spamming because the computer won’t display angle brackets someone put invisible ink in the internets again.

    angled brackets are the ones that look like “less than” and “greater than” (as if you didn’t already know… but I feel like i need to clarify because my post was broken)

    *going away now and promising not to spam anymore*

  63. trying the strike out

  64. yay!

  65. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    …er…..yeh…..um…..not so much?

    I STILL THINK TYPEWRITERS WERE MORE COOPERATIVE THAN “puters….
    THOSE hasd a strikeout KEY, fer(*&)(&^)’s sake!!

    (sorry ‘ bout that little outburst. You may resume your cuteness now)

    Signed,
    Not At Will (but I play him on TV)

  66. BStrange says:

    QoD: The brackets you want are the ones that share the same keys as the period and comma, if that helps. Around strike and /strike to start and end a strikethrough, i and /i for italics, etcetc.

    Do Not Forget To Close Your Tags Properly. Or else you’ll be in the doghouse with me. *Boston Terrier Eyes!*

    Cubbie in pic #2 has melted the iceberg of my heart. Ahhhn + OmNom. And the story! I had to stop and breathe. Good one, NTMTOM! So uh, how do I send Knut his care package at Miss Munch’s Special School For Differently Omnivorous Bears? :D

  67. Queen of Dork says:

    What the freaking heck?! Whoa. Okay. I’ll try that. {/strike}Turning in circle and not looking in a mirror.

  68. Queen of Dork says:

    Dang it!

  69. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    (clarification: ffleur’s successful entry posted before my hissy-fit; my words aren’t directed to anyone esp to her. Just an occasional result of my attempts at
    repressing my own daily grouchy reactions, to computers that sometimes do NOT make things simpler….)

    sorry again.

  70. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh wait! These ones?

  71. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh wow! The whole thing vanished! Don’t look in mirror.

  72. Queen of Dork says:

    *Jumps up and down jubilantly!* I did it! I did it! Thanks, Peeps. :)
    (now feeling sort of embarrased about being so easily pleased by something)

  73. @QoD, it reminds me of the time, long ago, when I got my umlauts to work. ;)

  74. BStrange says:

    HOORAY! *confettistorm!*

    There’s nothing wrong with being easily amused! It’s being HARD to amuse that should worry someone. ;)

  75. Queen of Dork says:

    Thanks BStrange! Yay! and Yay some more! (must try again)

  76. Jimbeaux says:

    Noodles, I have to agree witcha. I read the text outloud, too, in a cute bear voice. It enhances the cuteness, I tells ya! :)

  77. @BStrange and @QoD, it seems to me that being easily amused is a postive adaptation to this WTF!!! world. Easily Amused Rules!!!!

  78. chanpon says:

    Don’t you know the distressed look jeans are in? Let me fix that for you…

  79. flutterbye says:

    Whole thread is very entertaining! Wish I could type faster, but limited to one hand, so impossible to join such brilliant minds with fleet fingers!

  80. Melinda says:

    And Batman…*snerk* I’m still laughing on that one. hehehe! Baby bear is sooo cute!

  81. Melinda says:

    >strike<

  82. Carolyn says:

    Cute pictures, cute story, but I do agree with Trabb’s Boy.
    “I hear that special school’s really nice” is NOT okay. Unnecessary.

  83. kibblenibble says:

    I like love all you peeps so much! fish eye no miko, Queen of Dork, KittyAdventures, victoreia, cath, ffleur, O NO, BStrange, Theresa, and anyone I may have missed who helped me learn, or appreciated learning, how to do the crossout thingie, or even the special italics thingie. This is just such a kind, intelligent, and funny little community here at CO. ♥ *crosses fingers and clicks submit*

  84. kibblenibble says:

    Woo Hoo! :-D

  85. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    I thought NOMTOM was equating the adult writing at 2nd grade level language skills with the special school.
    Made me laugh.
    Now, if I could just learn the HTML code for italics, I’d be in biznass……….

  86. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

  87. Queen of Dork says:

    kibblenibble is good. No, I mean great! (hope this works right)

  88. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh crap. Sorry kibblenibble. I didn’t mean to strike out all of that! Just the word good, ’cause I think you’re great! ‘kay. Enough goofing around here. :)

  89. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    erg, nothing happened, sorry. I’ll go practice on the NY Times comment section.

  90. AuntieMame says:

    I don’t see where the post is referring to a “special school” for learning disabilities. Why can’t it be reform school, for kids who eat their teachers?

  91. LOL I came back to peek and see everyone had as much trouble as me trying to explain it lll./
    LOL

    at Theresa

    I am 50 and I have no Idea what Umlats are.. I suppose a trip to the dictionary is in order now.

    banana Testing to see if it will actually show up this time
    .

  92. Nope it hides the tag no matter how I set it up. rats

    so (strike)word or phrase you want to have a line through(/strie) only using the less than and greater than signs where I have put the ( ) which are located on the period and comma keys.

    And can we just all admit it that Knute is hands down even as a grown up the cutest Polar bear ever. Bar none.. except if he noms on me.

  93. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    turn around 3X and dont – wha-? – ah, geez, this isn’t the NY Times!

  94. BStrange says:

    “AuntieMame said: I don’t see where the post is referring to a “special school” for learning disabilities. Why can’t it be reform school, for kids who eat their teachers?”

    Or a special school for bears who can write!

    To the nuffs:

    Y’know, speaking AS someone with a disability (or two):
    a) I find this post hysterically funny, and
    b) certain people reading really need a time-out to relax their grip on their offended-trigger. :roll:

    Seriously. Chill.

  95. kibblenibble says:

    Q of D: ROFLMAO! Seriously, you are too sweet! ♥

  96. Hmm… let me try this: striked out words

  97. oooh yeah! :) I’ve always wanted to learn how to do that. Thanks guys.

  98. And Now: The Quest for the Upside-Down Strikeout!!! 8O

  99. Bravo. Too cute. The best evar. Made my night.

    Joey

  100. awe, I’d let that cute little bear chew off my leg any day.

  101. Hon Glad says:

    Theresa, I find a bowl of All-Bran gets the Umlauts working, infact a bowel of All-Bran.

  102. judith simons says:

    that’s Knut, and his handler. Knut is grown now and is having some mental problems. his handler died a couple of years ago

  103. saintstryfe says:

    You can’t spell Alamo with LAMO!!!

  104. How exciting! This person can now say they were attacked by a polar bear… and survived!

  105. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    @ HonGlad

    Thoroughly enjoyed that bit

    (*snerk*)

  106. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    shoutout back to kibblenibble:

    hope life am groovacious witcha, some of these old days…..

  107. Madame X says:

    So the strike out feature works like this?

  108. O NO he (she/it) DI-unt says:

    @ Martha in Washington: you’re SO RIGHT!! ;)

  109. This is soooooo flippin’ cute’n’hilarious it made up for the fact I woke up wayyyyy tooooo early this morning! This has to be one of my faves for cute overload right next to the hottie with the monkey…

  110. Okay I took a brief moment to try to understand umlauts… do not go to Wikipoedia.. Just saying LOL

    If you want to be entertained while you try to understand the umlaut..
    here is a link you can enjoy,
    http://www.clicknation.com/snoof/stuff/umlaut.pdf

    I read the whole thing and enjoyed it emmensly.. I still have no clue as to the true rules of umlauts in their proper place but I understand them more and got a good laugh out of the article.

    And in keeping with the spirit of this blog…..Knute is cute! Raaaarrrrrr!!!!!

  111. Aww, this just made my morning. = ) = ) = )

  112. I don’t get it

  113. Umlauts are typically used in Germanic writing, but what I want to know is how in h-e-double hockey stix did you type upside down??????????????????????????
    Sweet babeh bear, sorry about his handler. I’m sure Knut is sad :(
    (Actually there should be an umlaut over the U in umlaut!!)

  114. SO cute! Feroshus is my new favourite word…

  115. This is Knut as an adult if anyone is interested too – he seemed pretty sad when I visited him in Berlin last September, paced about a lot and seemed lonely :( he’s not housed with the other Polar Bears :(
    http://picasaweb.google.com/elouise.roper/BerlinAugust09#5371791257066430690

  116. Noodles says:

    KittyAdventures, thanks for the link! It was really interesting even for someone like me whose mother tongue has loads of umlauts. I’ve always wondered about that name Häagen Dazs because to me it makes no sense and I’ve never been able to pronounce it. I can’t overlook umlauts, it’s impossible. :)
    And I have to try this: [strike]no umlauts here[/strike]

  117. Noodles says:

    *hangs head, goes away*

  118. @KittyAdventures, and umlaut fans: ;)
    Once upon a time I was a grad student working on papers, and eventually a dissertation that contained a lot of German words and concepts. This was in the earlier days of word processing, when it was all more mysterious. I was already pretty much a whiz in regular English WordPerfect and NotaBene (anyone remember those programs? ;)), but I had to do a little extra investigation to figure out how to get diacritics (i.e. accents).
    English doesn’t tend to have accent marks like French and German, so we often just drop them when we use those words. But IN French and German, those marks are non-negotiable, they’re there for a reason. They affect meaning and pronunciation. I had to to adhere to those accents wherever they appeared. So the whole investigation of diacritics in word-processing programs was kind of a big deal to me, and it even helped me a lot in my later job in a library, where I had to enter quite a bit of data in other languages, including umlauts, accents grave and acute, HUNGARIAN umlauts, which are different, ;) , cedilles, tildes, circumflexes, and háčeks. ;)

  119. PS, it helps a little to think of those accents as not free-floating, as Americans think of them, but as part of the letter, of the accented letter as its own entity. Umlauts don’t roam the earth on their own., they are always part of a letter. ;)

  120. Yay! Celebratin’ for/with the peeps who learnded to use the strikeout feature! Thanks to all those who helped ‘splain it.

    (We got yer special school right heah!)

    Noodle: You’re so close! But use the brackets that are just to the right of “M” on your keyboard.

    Melinda: You’ve got the right brackets, but in the wrong order.

    They look like this: “” (*crosses fingers that they show up*).

  121. Wow, those little guys are slippery.

    <

  122. …and >

  123. cellarmouse says:

    (sorry … i had to try)

  124. kibblenibble says:

    Noodles: You did everything correct, except instead of using the square brackets, you need to use the greater-than less-than arrows found over the comma and period.

    Catinapastlife: To type upside down, you go to
    http://upsidedown.info/nwoded.spu.pl
    type what you want, then copy and paste it wherever you like. :-)

  125. kibblenibble says:

    Hey cath, we were trying to say the same thing at the same time! See what I mean about everyone here being so nice? :-)

  126. cellarmouse says:

    >/strikeiitalic/i<

    sigh

  127. cellarmouse says:

    strike
    italic

    it’s not my fault – my sweetie made me try again …

  128. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    (*FRIENDLY, affectionate snerk*)

    ….”umlaut fans”!!!!!!

    I LOVE A PLACE w/ (hope this isn’t offensive, Theresa??) language geeeeeeeks!!

    Signed,
    The #1 Language GEEK on tha PLANET

  129. @Catinapastlife, actually, no, there’s no umlaut over the u in umlaut. It’s just an open “U.”

  130. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    Hi Theresa!!

    How’re yer umlauts hangin’ today?

    (giggle)

  131. catlover says:

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

    love the misspellings.

  132. catlover says:

    And how that bear has delusions of grandeur.

  133. Hon Glad says:

    Theresa, didactic diacritics never die, they just fade away.

  134. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    @ Hon Glad — pardon Sir.

    A question, please, with all Due Respect, Sir.
    If that is the case,
    then what, pray tell, do old SOLJERS do??????

    Signed,
    The youngest daughter of
    a Soldier who died NOT old.

  135. Aww! Is there anything cuter than baby polar bears? I would give anything to cuddle one…

  136. fatgrammafinn says:

    i am the fat gramma in front of you that swerves into the grocery store parking lot to complain to the manager that the helper clerk spelled “Folgers” wrong on the reader board.

    CO, keep up the fine non-spelling, one does get so tired of policing that sort of thing – we do need a short daily break

    oh, and ENUFF with nuffs… in my enlightened part of the alpha quadrant, “special needs” kids are mainstreamed to the extent their abilities allow.no special schools. And doctors and social workers and case workers and casa’s are doing a gradual about-face regarding jargon… i can only think of one or two people who would take offense to anyone saying “he’s small, his physical growth is retarded”, why do people get their panties in a bunch over “mentally retarded”. All it means is, his mental growth is retarded due to birth injury, genetic abnormalies like trisomy 21 or fragile x syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, autism, asbergers, blah blah on and on. My adopted nephew is severely autistic.My two adopted grandsons have adhd. My other adopted grandson has fetal alcohol syndrome and both his bio-parents have paranoid schizophrenia. We don’t have time to think before speaking, we’re exhausted!!! (gods bless george carlin)

    end of rant. you can have my parking space now that i’m done with the grocery store manager.

  137. Hon Glad says:

    O No – Old soljers fade away too.

    Far far from wipers, Iong to be
    Where German snipers can’t get at me
    Damp is my dug out, cold are my feet
    Waiting for whiz bangs to put me to sleep.

  138. Hon Glad says:

    I long to be.

  139. Noodles says:

    cath, we’ve got a different keyboard… :/

  140. Noodles says:

    did I found the right brackets?

  141. Noodles says:

    Yay! Mine are located on the left side of the “z”… ;)

  142. O NO He/She/It DI-unt says:

    @ HonGlad: I salute you, Sir!!!

    Signed,
    SA-LOOT!!!

  143. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    ?
    nobody look! I just can’t give up.

  144. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    phah! din’t werk

  145. HE’S SO FLUFFY, I’M GONNA DIE!!!

  146. Oh, kibblenibble, I went on to your link & it gave me an error message after I asked to translate it! :(

  147. Hey, now how did that type in italics?? I was even trying!

  148. Lucy Loup-Garou says:

    How come you all can get it to work??

  149. kodalai says:

    Aw, that is a mighty cute baby polar bear. :) The writeup made me lol, it reminded me of Alamo’s guide to playing a druid. Excuse me, a durid.

    Now I apologize, because I am going to be unfunny. (Don’t take the length of this post as a sign that I’m particularly upset — merely that I thought I should lay my ideas out clearly.)

    First is the understanding that words are still important. It would be nice to live by the axiom that sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me, but its simply not true. We are defined in our own minds, and in the minds of others, by the words chosen to describe us — by ourselves and others — and the images and stories that are formed from those words. My sister is an academic who works in children’s literature and is an advocate for the disabled, so I hear a lot about those issues from her side of things.

    Second is that I don’t consider myself a big crusader in regards to ableist language. I know some people who will jump down your throat every time you use a word like ‘lame’ or ‘retarded’ even in passing, and I find it pretty pointless and tiresome. Whatever the etymological origin of the words (even ‘dumb’ used to mean ‘mute,’) they are largely used in contexts free of disabled implications. If someone says “I drove all the way to the post office but then forgot my letter, I’m so retarded,” they aren’t talking about the mentally disabled; when someone says “They’re canceling the ball game because of rain? That’s lame!” they aren’t talking about the physically handicapped. There’s really very little point in getting offended by it, nor in trying to force people to change their speaking habits or to excise such common words from the language.

    But the flip side of recognizing when words don’t have derogatory implications towards the disabled is also recognizing when they DO. Calling out stupid behavior in others is one thing; targeted insults towards a disadvantaged group are quite another. I’m somewhat surprised by the efforts posters above me have gone to to evolve alternative interpretations of “special school” other than special needs children. Like it or not, this is a phrase which is meaningfully linked towards disabled children’s education. Although there are probably thousands of minibuses in the country used to ferry children to and from activities, when people talk about “riding the short bus to school” there is very little doubt about what is meant; in the same way that nobody ever uses the phrase “special olympics” to refer to anything but the olympics held for the physically handicapped.

    When I see a narrative riddled with spelling and comprehension errors and then a reference to “special school” at the end, with no other context or any reason why the words “special school” are invoked, I can’t really see how it’s meant to mean anything other than “special education needs school.” In other words, retarded kids are stupid. Was there some other context involved? Did the sender-inner make some reference to the school she attends in her original email, and that line was addressed to her specifically? Maybe, but I can’t speculate on what isn’t there. And what is there is problematic, any way you slice it.

    I don’t know whether that’s the joke NTMTOM meant to make (this not being a wank-free or safe space on the internet, it could go either way,) or whether it came across that way completely by accident — but next time, please consider your words more carefully.

  150. BStrange says:

    @kodalai: The point is, it didn’t require any “effort”. Your immediate assumption wasn’t necessarily mine or theirs.

    This is reminding me of the nuffers over here: http://cuteoverload.com/2010/07/07/shake-that-shell/ … and it’s getting just as ridiculous.

  151. fatgrammafinn says:

    i love my grandkids mail, spelling errors, exaggerations, and all… i wish “jeffery osterblarrgh, mrs. mcknulty’s sekond grade class” (top sentence of post!!!!!) was adoptable, we “have room for one more”.

    i love a clever writer… a fun post written by an ersatz second grader who probably doesn’t pay a whole lot of attention, daydreaming his way into an interesting future.

    try “lemony snicket-the unauthorized autobiography” (the world is quiet here)

  152. Here, have a no-more-italics.

    Do not forget to close your tags, folks!

  153. Hmm, my italic-close didn’t work. Looks like a bigger problem than just a stray unclosed tag.

  154. fatgrammafinn says:

    italics came up by themselves, my eyes crossed during the tech-talk ttfn

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