Cute Overload :D
Due to a labeling error, cases of Acme Novelties’ “Spring-Loaded Joke Snake” may in fact contain “Joke-Telling Flying Squirrel.” Customers affected by this error may return their product for exchange or refund.
Thanks to alert consumer Megan H.
O Noes!! Not another Silly Skwerlio Recall!!!!
What a delicious looking snack :]
He’s all “I’M not the problem — YOU the problem.”
Are you sure that’s not a sugar glider?
Hovertext! Love the hovertext!
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of squirrels. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with squirrels like that! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says “Will do, officer!” and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of squirrels, and this time they’re all wearing tiny sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and says, “I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo yesterday!”
The guy replies, “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
please don’t eat the almond… bits… at the bottom of the can!
I’ll inform RoadRunner immediately of the potential problem.
One of the Almond brothers attempts to make a solo hit. The idea gets canned.
Love the slogan “Fresh taste you can trust”……..hehehe, as opposed to all those fresh tastes that you really shouldn’t trust.
What keesable leetle leeps!!!!
Squirrels tell such lame jokes.
That joke flew right over my head.
Lovely lovely groaner jokes! Must add to them:
Squirrel Jr. wanted to borrow the car. Papa Squirrel said, “All right son, but there are a few rules: No achieving planing speeds, gas it up when you’re done, and I butternut cashew sneaking in after curfew!”
Love the jokes…keep them coming…I can use all the snortles I can get on a Monday!!
Speaking of product recalls, anybody else out there trying to figure out what to feed your cats since the IAMS recall?
Now all he needs is one of those flat wooden ice cream spoons, and he can paddle down a river in the almond can in Disney’s next straight-to-DVD movie!
er .. what iAMS recall? ulp
Hey Rock, watch me pull a squirrel out of this can!
“Hello? Is this Schwantz’s Drug Store? Do you have Squirrel in a Can® ? Well let him out!”
Prince Filbert in a can!
@I_wuvs_puttins, I thought that was penguins!!
An elephant walking along the jungle path meets a mouse coming in the opposite direction. They stop and look at each other with interest. The elephant finally breaks the silence and says, “Why are you so small?” And the mouse looks up and says, “I’ve not been well.”
Emma Thompson’s father’s favorite joke.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, “I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.” Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Mary, I noticed a week or so ago that at both supermarkets I go to, all the IAMS had been removed (sorry, I mean just the canned stuff, not the dry). There was a sign about a recall, so I looked it up and IAMS canned apparently has been yanked because it didn’t have enough thiamine, which supposedly can cause serious problems for cats.
Can O’Squirrel more fun that a barrel of monkies!
New from Wham’O!
“My squirrel has no nose.”
“How does he smell?”
Jokes from My Dad:
Why do Eskimos wash in Tide?
Becaud itd too code outtide. :P
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Evening!
Why do cows have bells?
Because the horns don’t work. :P
Squirrel is all “bu-u-u-u-u-rp”.
@Theresa – it was..I had to change it. :o)
Squirrel: “What, you weren’t needing these, were you?”
@i_wuvs_puttins, I LOVE the tiny sunglasses! :lol:
@ Theresa – Dad’s love to watch the bewilderment on their kids’ faces. Mine liked this one: Q. What do you eat at the beach when you’ve forgotten the picnic?
A. The sand which is there.
He spent a good 5 minutes enjoying 4-yr-old me shaking my head as he said “Get it? Get it? The sandwiches there!”
It didn’t help that it was a kids book with a picture of a witch eating finger sandwiches.
That joke reminds me of going to the cafeteria with one of my friends in college. For no good reason she suddenly held up the salt shaker from the table in one hand and a knife in the other hand and then brought them together. “What’s this?” She asked. I just shook my head so she responded “A salt with a deadly weapon”.
I’ll keep the squirrel over the “product” anytime.
I have always enjoyed the nutty sense of humour of the CO community! I always knew you were a squirrelly bunch! ;-)
That squirrel’s like “I hit the mother load!” Beats climbing trees and cracking shells yourself. Sweet.
Remember that the “Gallagher” model Joke-Telling Flying Squirrel requires eye protection at all times.
@Cellarmouse, all the dads in my family mess with their kids, except my brother who is depressingly earnest. ;) My dad and uncles used to tell us all kinds of crap with straight faces, and we would go out into the world and repeat it. :lol:
@Theresa – I swear, that “cow horns” joke made me groan out loud. Ow. Owwww. :razz:
Go Buckeye! That’s MY squirrel! I submitted that! Hahahaha, best pet on the planet, flying squirrels are awesome!
Well, my Ohio State Buckeye got his 15 minutes of fame, haha. I am such a proud mama!
My squirrel won’t eat meat,
Why won’t it eat meat?
I don’t give it any.
Megan H, you are one lucky person to have those big shiny button-eyes and bitty pawhands around the house! Especially if flying squirrels are as soft as they look.
Aw-w-w-w, NUTZ! to NTMTOM, BStrange & 260Oakley. You guys are too quick for poor ol’ me, I gots nuthin’ and you gots all the good ones!
And that’s my grand baby squirrel! LOL He’s even cuter in person!
@ emberrrann (my bad re sp?)
Just remember the following:
“Nuthin’ from nuthin’, leaves nuthin’….and I’m not somethin’, believe you me!!!”
ok kids, whoz gonna “NAME THAT TUNE” and actually MORE of a challenge, who’s gonna name the performing artist (ORIGINAL SINGLE, peeeps, wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the Pleistocene 1970s or so….)????
What do you get when you cross a horse and a black widow spider?
I don’t know either but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital.
Yeah, it’s abd and not a squirrel joke, but it’s what I got :)
Lovely, talented man, greatly missed.
@O NO: I know, I’m from the fossil age and thanks for teh earworm! I’ll be humming that to myself all day! I mean that in the nicest way too!
Nuthin’ from nuthin’ that is.
Emmberrann – Aw, sorry! I grew up around sharp wits, reflexes ya know… :mrgreen:
“If you wanna beee with meee” – I call Billy Preston, O NO. :)
Also: *eyes “cheap online store” post* Only vaguely relevant, suspicious name… Boys (or, MiT rather) I we’ve got us a spammer here…
Er. “I think we’ve”. Hooray for click-selection and accidental deletion of random words?
Previous post’s in modland but even so, I am fairly beaten by both Theresa and flutterbye. Guess the karma-bat got me, Emmberrann. ;)
He tells his jokes very quietly; you have to lean in:
“Um, whats did ze tree say, um to ze ozther tree…”
“I don’t know. What did he say?”
“Um… ‘Oh Hi'”
The Spam is Slain! Hooray. :)
And @chan: Unlike the dogwood tree version, the punchline of which must be “bark bark”?
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.
Join 16,778 other followers